So, really, the bottom line is love. Love your friends/family who are stuck in their abusive church. Show them what love is, what joy is, what freedom is, what mundane is. Invite them to share a meal with you (their favorite meal). Be boring. Be you. Be kind, loving, and accepting. This is so attractive to someone in a high-controlling church.
Spiritual abuse is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
This power-over structure is harmful, demeaning, and depersonalizes women who were made in the Image of God.
What's interesting is if you address these people and question the way they are attack you and your beliefs, they quip they are telling you this in love and they are being Biblical. It never feels like love. It's rude. It seems like a clanging cymbal to me. Love is patient and kind, right?
"I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized."
Spiritual Abuse, Pastor Ken Garrett, Spiritual Abuse in the church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery *** Ok, here we go, plowing through Pastor Ken Garret's dissertation about spiritual abuse. I used the word plowing intentionally. For some of us, it will be work. It is not enjoyable to be reminded about difficult experiences. However,… Continue reading Blog Series: Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery by Pastor Ken Garrett, Wk 2
Spiritual abuse, children, mental health, high-controlling church, NAR, New Apostolic Reformation *** Special note: I am in Chicago until 11/5 and would love to get together with survivors or those interested in helping survivors. If you would like to meet up, please contact me and let's see if we can arrange a gathering. firstname.lastname@example.org … Continue reading A Father Shares the Fallout His Family is Facing after Being in a High-Controlling Church
*** This is a very insightful statement from C.J. Mahaney. https://twitter.com/CJMahaney/status/739414015546404864 When a pastor preaches, he is leading his congregation in his interpretation of Scripture. It may or may not be correct. I know from reading many personal stories of those who were Mahaney's church that his teachings caused spiritual harm. I don't think… Continue reading How our Pastor’s Biblical Interpretation Can Affect Our Understanding of Scripture and God
How to help a family member or friend leave a high-controlling church group or cult: spiritual abuse, trapped, thought reform, mind control, freedom “Mind control is the process by which individual or collective freedom of choice and action is compromised by agents or agencies that modify or distort perception, motivation, affect, cognition and/or behavioral… Continue reading Help! My Family Member or Close Friend is Trapped in a High-Controlling Church or Cult. How Can I Encourage Them to Leave?
Children Harmed by Spiritual Abuse Yesterday, I was talking with my programming language tutor and mentioned that I had a blog. He asked what my blog was about and I told him the long story. He was absolutely dumbfounded by what he was hearing and kept shaking his head, not wanting to believe it, even… Continue reading The Fallout of Spiritual Abuse on Our Children
Spiritual Abuse - What finally made you realize you had to leave your church? *** *** I had already told my husband that I had to leave BGBC, with or without him, but I was hoping that he would come to the same conclusion without my influence. That finally happened after our close friend who was… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: What Was the Last Straw That Caused You to Leave Your Abusive Church?
*** Doug Wilson, Christ Church, Moscow, Pedophile, Steven Sitler, Jamin Wight, Sex Abuse *** Note: This article is a community work in progress. I'd greatly appreciate your help. There is a website currently online which has posted the key primary source documentation of sex abuse cases in which Pastor Doug Wilson of Christ Church in Moscow,… Continue reading Important Blog Articles Related to Doug Wilson, Christ Church, and Convicted Pedophiles: Steven Sitler and Jamin Wight
Spiritual abusers can sometimes be excellent speakers. They can use that "gift" to abuse. For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:13 I'm nearing the end of my first year of college and in the next couple of weeks will be really… Continue reading Was Your Spiritual Abuser a Good Speaker?
*** Pastor Mark Driscoll recently resigned from the church he founded, Mars Hill. Can Mars Hill be saved? *** Mars Hill plans on moving forward as clearly identified in this statement put out by the Mars Hill Board of Overseers: Michael Van Skaik, Larry Osborne, Jon Phelps, and Matt Rogers: On Tuesday, October 14,… Continue reading After Mark Driscoll’s Resignation, Can Mars Hill Be Saved?
*** A spiritual abuse survivor shares her personal story *** A long-time reader recovering from spiritual abuse recently shared her story with me and has given me permission to share it with you. She is choosing to remain anonymous. It is very well written. I'm going to issue a trigger warning for content related to:… Continue reading Personal Story: I am a Spiritual Abuse Survivor
*** Open Air Preacher Street Evangelist Tony Miano Gives Rules and Guidelines for Women Open Air Preaching and Reading Scripture to Men *** We've discussed open air preacher, Tony Miano before. He used to work at Living Waters with Ray Comfort. In the video below, he claims that he taught approximately 200 women how to… Continue reading Learn to Discern: Can Women Read Scripture Aloud to Men?
"* * * Pulpit Highlights - Phil Johnson from Grace Community Church on Vimeo. In an earlier discussion on street evangelists (Is it Love or Not? Street Evangelists Defend Their Method), reader David posted the above video in the comments section. It's just over two minutes long. Phil is a great speaker… Continue reading Evangelical Church is Weak and Womanly
* * * I'm a little bit surprised if you are still reading my blog. The last three posts were rigged to make a point and I took you on a ride without your permission so you could understand first-hand what it felt like. I tricked you and purposefully kept the… Continue reading Survival Strategies for Hyper-Authoritarian and Repetitive Sermons
* * * "Pulpit", from the eyes of my 9-yr old son * * * According to Wikipedia.org, a bully pulpit is: "An older term within the U.S. Government, a bully pulpit is a public office or other position of authority of sufficiently high rank that provides… Continue reading The Bully Pulpit