But towards the end of our marriage, something else changed. For the first time ever, if I questioned or challenged him about a doctrinal belief that had changed, he started to pull rank saying he was the spiritual head of the home. That had never occurred before.
Category: SURVIVOR STORIES
The Song in Your Heart
I always sang to my kids, and with each successive child that entered the family, they were serenaded by love and song by the older kids and me. But not so much for Caboose, at least by me. As James continued to walk into the house, I remained in the car. That one question shattered me.
What was it like in my Patriarchal home, you ask? Let’s discuss hymens.
When our eldest daughter was 13 and before she started her period, my then husband told me he did not want her to use tampons because it would break her hymen and it was important for her future husband to do so.
Julie Anne Gets Personal about the Silent Abuse of Domestic Violence: Emotional and Spiritual Abuse
While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.
The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity
"I’ve decided to document pastors and individuals who promote patriarchy here on my blog. I will post screenshots of their tweets or social media posts, and name them and their churches as a public record."
We are Image Bearers of Christ in Our Marriages and in Our Singlehood
" . . . unless the church treats all individuals as image bearers of Christ, we will not be the Body of Christ as the church was intended to be."
A personal update from Julie Anne:
Today is my birthday. This morning I woke up happy, smiling, and very excited to be alive and well with a great home, a great job, and great family and friends. But I’d like to give you a window into what it was like this time last year. I was not well.
Thanks for Bearing with Me!
One thing that has been good about this job is that it has given me a break from trauma-related topics while I’m working.
Update on JA
I wanted to share a personal update.
Spiritual Abuse: Black/White Thinking Can be Used to Harm and Control
In black/white churches, you have two choices: follow along with the pastor, or you are immediately castigated as someone who has made the wrong choice. If people know of your "bad" choice, you may be called a sinner or rebellious.
Julie Anne’s Personal Story on the Redemptive Gift of Grief
So, then the question I'm learning to ask myself is: what pain am I avoiding, and why am I avoiding it? Isn’t numbing pain simply prolonging it? Why would I want to prolong pain? What would happen if I moved toward the pain and wrestled with it? What would that look like?
My Thoughts: Josh Harris (I Kissed Dating Good-bye) and His Wife, Shannon, Announce Marital Separation
But it makes me once again question those ideologies that led up to this point. It makes me think about spiritual abuse. It makes me think about Patriarchy. What significant changes were made in their journey? What ideologies did each one keep, and each one ditch?
What’s Going on with JA?
But what I missed in listening to the stories is that sometimes those stories resonated personally for me. Sometimes after listening to or reading someone's personal story, their story elicited a personal response for me. It reminded me of my own journey. My own unfinished business.
Washington Post Article on Investigative Bloggers and Advocates: Wartburg Watch, Spiritual Sounding Board, Ashley Easter, Jules Woodson, Kelly Haines, etc.
But what it means is that we are being taken seriously. I think that gives us a bit more credibility. When we reach out to church leaders and ask questions, they will know we mean business.
Christ Saved the World through Redemption, Not Condemnation
What's interesting is if you address these people and question the way they are attack you and your beliefs, they quip they are telling you this in love and they are being Biblical. It never feels like love. It's rude. It seems like a clanging cymbal to me. Love is patient and kind, right?
Spiritual Brewpub Podcast: Michael Camp Interviews Julie Anne Smith on Spiritual Abuse in the Church
Julie Anne Smith shares with Michael how she got slapped with a $500,000 lawsuit, uncovered abuse in her church and among evangelicals, and how patriarchal theology harms women. Hear this lively conversation as they discuss the prevalence and roots of spiritual abuse . . .
Good Friday, Notre Dame, and Resurrection
The spiritual abuse I experienced will only be a blip in my life's story, and it doesn't define who I am, just as Notre Dame's 2019 fire does not define it. Abuse is part of my story and has shaped me, and has produced life-changing fruit.
Another Sad Church Story
This story is not over yet, but I figure I better check in before people start wondering what's happening with me. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read about my pastor and church. It's a long story, and one I hope to tell one day, but for now, I am grieving… Continue reading Another Sad Church Story
Sexual Perpetrators and Magicians – How Both Trick People with Illusions
Sex Abuse, Jimmy Hinton, Pedophiles, Illusionists, Magicians, Dr. Larry Nassar *** *** April is sexual abuse awareness month. It is very important for parents to know that nearly 90% of perpetrators are known by their victims. It is also important to understand that a pedophile can abuse a child while you are in the same… Continue reading Sexual Perpetrators and Magicians – How Both Trick People with Illusions
Personal Story: What Did the Church Teach You about Yourself?
Spiritual abuse, sex abuse, patriarchy, domestic violence, Sovereign Grace, Desiring God, CJ Mahaney, John Piper, Mental Health *** *** Part of recovery from abusive churches is coming to grips with what you were taught and how it affected you. Sometimes, and very appropriately, the ability to see this clearly results in anger. Jennifer Michelle posted… Continue reading Personal Story: What Did the Church Teach You about Yourself?
Spiritual Sounding Board 