ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, emotional abuse, Gender Roles, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

Julie Anne Gets Personal about the Silent Abuse of Domestic Violence: Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, BGBC Lawsuit, C.J. Mahaney, Chuck O'Neal, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Disturbing Trends, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, JULIE ANNE'S CASE, Mandatory Reporting, Mark Driscoll, Narcissistic Pastors, Ravi Zacharias, Recovery Process, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Bullies

My Church Leaders Were Abusive: Should I share my story publicly with Christian media? Is there something I can do that will affect positive change?

. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Biblical Manhood, Christian Marriage, Church Discipline Process, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, emotional abuse, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Misuse of Scripture, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

We Now See the Fruit of Doug Wilson’s Teachings on Marital Sex: Personal Accounts of Marital Rape

Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, emotional abuse, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Misuse of Scripture, Religious Power and Control, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed

My blog broke the story on two high-profile cases of clergy sexual misconduct. These are very difficult stories to report on, especially as I get to know the survivors and the ongoing emotional and spiritual trauma they endured with these highly influential church leaders. One common misconception I see repeatedly debated in comments on news… Continue reading Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Meetings with the Pastor, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

To Mark Gungor: There is Nothing Inspiring about using “Humor” to Publicly Degrade Women; and Please Do Better on Sex Abuse Cases

There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.

Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, emotional abuse, It's All About the Image, Ravi Zacharias, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

Julie Anne Smith Interviewed on Almost Heretical Podcast: Spiritual and Sexual Abuse

Nate is the first person to interview me specifically about the Ravi Zacharias sex abuse scandal and ask me why I thought it took so long for the collective church to "get it."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Complementarianism, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Divorce, Domestic Violence and Churches, John MacArthur, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Master's University / Master's Seminary, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Religious Power and Control, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Troubling Tweets, Women and the Church

How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech

Ok, popping in here for a quickie post for discussion. Notice this dude is a Master's Seminary Alum. This does not surprise me with the kind of pompous attitudes I have witnessed and encountered from John MacArthur's camp. Case in point, Bill Shannon reached out to me during my lawsuit case. I'll never forget how… Continue reading How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Authoritative Preaching, Biblical Manhood, Christian Marriage, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Disturbing Trends, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, emotional abuse, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Gender Roles, God's Design for the Family, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Mental Health and the Church, Misuse of Scripture, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity: Introducing Brian Sauvé

This power-over structure is harmful, demeaning, and depersonalizes women who were made in the Image of God.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, emotional abuse, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Gender Roles, God's Design for the Family, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Religious Power and Control, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity

"I’ve decided to document pastors and individuals who promote patriarchy here on my blog. I will post screenshots of their tweets or social media posts, and name them and their churches as a public record."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

When “O Holy Night” Becomes a Nightmare to Someone Whose Faith Has Been Harmed

"This performance is so sincere and heartfelt, shows a high level of skill, and may be the very one you love best of all. I think it is just awful, the perfect expression of a particular culture that I used to think was just distasteful and now believe to be rotten to the core."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Doctrine as Idol, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Legalism, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

Spiritual Abuse: Black/White Thinking Can be Used to Harm and Control

In black/white churches, you have two choices: follow along with the pastor, or you are immediately castigated as someone who has made the wrong choice. If people know of your "bad" choice, you may be called a sinner or rebellious.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 5, Accountability Systems Breakdown

Part 5 focuses on the other side of Mr Tchividjian's misuse of his platform as a Christian celebrity minister, speaker, and writer – his accountability system victims: superiors, peers, and subordinates.

What courage must it have taken to publicly post a call for Tullian Tchividjian to repent? To apologize for having amplified his impact? To resign from the board of his newly resurrected non-profit? To remove from their ministry website various resources he'd produced? To cancel contracts that would extend his influence?

What did it cost those who were close to him in terms of ministry – especially those who held authority to oversee his recovery plans, and those who'd been his platform peers?

These are the kinds of questions we should consider as we read this final piece in the case study of Tullian Tchividjian and the details of his abuse of systems, ministry, and accountability ...

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 4, Accountability

It’s not the job of any supervisor, peer, or subordinate to prevent Tullian Tchividjian from sinning, whether he does so mildly or spectacularly. It wasn’t the role of his non-profit board, church sessions, publishing house legal departments, counselors, friends, etc. It’s not even possible. He himself is responsible for his own choices and their impact.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 3, Industrial Complex

... there were over 150 individuals in at least 10 institutions who had direct connections with Tullian Tchividjian as his superiors, peers, or subordinates. And yet, it seems nobody could keep him from his two extramarital sexual involvements he has already admitted to (after they were discovered or disclosed), or from his reported predatory/seductive behavior patterns, or from his reported multiple failures to tell the full truth.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 2, Repair

What does real-world remediation / repentance look like? How can we see what it takes in both attitudes and actions to accomplish damage repair? This post gives three examples of remediation (repair work) — one dealing with a product, one with a denominational organization, one with a social system. Each is notable for seeking to engage in a constructive way parties who were directly involved, and in some cases those who were indirectly affected.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 1, Systems

Systemic abuse always includes a degree of relational manipulation to get/keep people hooked in, as well as deception in order to hide the truth.

Authoritative Preaching, Doctrine as Idol, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Legalism, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

Christ Saved the World through Redemption, Not Condemnation

What's interesting is if you address these people and question the way they are attack you and your beliefs, they quip they are telling you this in love and they are being Biblical. It never feels like love. It's rude. It seems like a clanging cymbal to me. Love is patient and kind, right?

Doctrine as Idol, J.D. Hall, Pulpit & Pen blog, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

Response to Pulpit and Pen and the Death of Rachel Held Evans

My heart remains heavy for those wounded by leaders whose arrogance use the Bible as a weapon to harm instead of to heal. I've been on the receiving end of that arrogance and it is not pleasant.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Divorce, It's All About the Image, Narcissistic Pastors, RC Sproul Jr., SMH (Shake My Head), Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

Estranged Adult Child of Disgraced Former Pastor R.C. Sproul, Jr., Urges People to NOT Purchase Father’s New Book; Foreword by Tullian Tchividjian

“Myself and RC Jr’s other adult children are estranged from him. We do not support this book or his return to public ministry.”