Book Review Series, Christian Marriage, Doctrine as Idol, Domestic Violence, Gender Roles, Marriage, Martha Peace, Spiritual Abuse

Book Review Series – "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace – Chapter Sixteen – Watch Your Words

This chapter is full of conflicting important points and is a reminder that verbal and emotional abuse is not appropriate.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

When "O Holy Night" Becomes a Nightmare to Someone Whose Faith Has Been Harmed

"This performance is so sincere and heartfelt, shows a high level of skill, and may be the very one you love best of all. I think it is just awful, the perfect expression of a particular culture that I used to think was just distasteful and now believe to be rotten to the core."

Book Review Series, Christian Marriage, Complementarianism, Doctrine as Idol, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Gender Roles, Marriage, Martha Peace, Misuse of Scripture, Spiritual Abuse

Book Review Series – "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace – Chapter Fifteen – One Long, Unmotivating List

In this chapter, the author provides a list of ways wives are motivated to honor Christ in submission to their husbands. I'm motivated to cut out as much from the list as possible. ~Kathi

Biblical Counseling, Book Review Series, Christian Marriage, Complementarianism, Doctrine as Idol, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Gender Roles, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Martha Peace, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Women and the Church

Book Review Series – "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace – Chapter Fourteen – A Wife's Orderly Way to Respond to Her Husband's Evil Responses

How does a Christian wife respond to her husband's evil behavior? This orderly list provides more harm than help.

Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Failure to Report Crimes, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Youth Groups

Update on Dr. Wes Feltner of Berean Baptist and Clergy Sexual Misconduct

At the very least, we should have seen Feltner take responsibility for his clergy sexual misconduct. That never happened...

Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Misuse of Scripture, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority

Dissecting Victim (oops) Pastor Wes Feltner’s Public Statement

God has instituted qualifications for elders regardless if someone feels a certain calling. Wes Feltner's supposed calling does not override God's guideline for elders.

Book Review Series, Christian Marriage, Complementarianism, Doctrine as Idol, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Gender Roles, Marriage, Martha Peace, Spiritual Abuse

Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Thirteen – Submission Provides Protection?

It’s obvious that in Peace’s world of submission, a husband can behave any way he likes without consequence; otherwise, options would be given to wives for how to deal with abusive behaviors.

Book Review Series, Christian Marriage, Complementarianism, Doctrine as Idol, Domestic Violence, Gender Roles, Martha Peace, Spiritual Abuse

Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Twelve – Setting the Stage for Submission

This book has already focused so much on submission, but for some reason Peace has at least two more chapters left on this topic. It makes me wonder if she is trying to convince herself that her theology is that good by saying it over and over and over.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, child abuse, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, It's All About the Image, Mandatory Reporting, Meetings with the Pastor, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Southern Baptist Convention, Spiritual Abuse, Statute of Limitations, Women and the Church

Is J.D. Greear just talking, or are we going to see action?

The SBC has been getting push back about selecting "designated survivors" to speak. Was he doing damage control by mentioning the names of the survivors/advocates they chose not to speak? Were the ones chosen to speak selected so that the SBC can control the narrative?

Clergy Sex Abuse, Misuse of Scripture, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Tullian Tchividjian

Reader Comments on My Bitterness and Hatred for Posting about Tullian Tchividjian’s Clergy Sexual Misconduct

What Tullian did was disgusting. But I am telling you, Julie Anne, your relentless pursuit of this story is not helping in the compassionate stand-up-for-justice way you think it is. My prayer is that your eyes are opened to the bitterness and hate that you are catering to, and how anti-Christian this material is.

Book Review Series, Christian Marriage, Domestic Violence, Marriage, Martha Peace, Spiritual Abuse

Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Eleven – Mutual Sex or Sex on Demand?

In so many of the godly wife books we see that the wife's duty is to provide sex for her husband whenever he wants it. At least she identifies that a wife has a desire and need for sex.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Doctrine as Idol, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Legalism, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

Spiritual Abuse: Black/White Thinking Can be Used to Harm and Control

In black/white churches, you have two choices: follow along with the pastor, or you are immediately castigated as someone who has made the wrong choice. If people know of your "bad" choice, you may be called a sinner or rebellious.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 5, Accountability Systems Breakdown

Part 5 focuses on the other side of Mr Tchividjian's misuse of his platform as a Christian celebrity minister, speaker, and writer – his accountability system victims: superiors, peers, and subordinates.

What courage must it have taken to publicly post a call for Tullian Tchividjian to repent? To apologize for having amplified his impact? To resign from the board of his newly resurrected non-profit? To remove from their ministry website various resources he'd produced? To cancel contracts that would extend his influence?

What did it cost those who were close to him in terms of ministry – especially those who held authority to oversee his recovery plans, and those who'd been his platform peers?

These are the kinds of questions we should consider as we read this final piece in the case study of Tullian Tchividjian and the details of his abuse of systems, ministry, and accountability ...

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 4, Accountability

It’s not the job of any supervisor, peer, or subordinate to prevent Tullian Tchividjian from sinning, whether he does so mildly or spectacularly. It wasn’t the role of his non-profit board, church sessions, publishing house legal departments, counselors, friends, etc. It’s not even possible. He himself is responsible for his own choices and their impact.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 3, Industrial Complex

... there were over 150 individuals in at least 10 institutions who had direct connections with Tullian Tchividjian as his superiors, peers, or subordinates. And yet, it seems nobody could keep him from his two extramarital sexual involvements he has already admitted to (after they were discovered or disclosed), or from his reported predatory/seductive behavior patterns, or from his reported multiple failures to tell the full truth.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 2, Repair

What does real-world remediation / repentance look like? How can we see what it takes in both attitudes and actions to accomplish damage repair? This post gives three examples of remediation (repair work) — one dealing with a product, one with a denominational organization, one with a social system. Each is notable for seeking to engage in a constructive way parties who were directly involved, and in some cases those who were indirectly affected.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 1, Systems

Systemic abuse always includes a degree of relational manipulation to get/keep people hooked in, as well as deception in order to hide the truth.

Book Review Series, Christian Marriage, Complementarianism, Doctrine as Idol, Domestic Violence, Gender Roles, Marriage, Martha Peace, Spiritual Abuse

Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Ten – R.E.S.P.E.C.T., Find Out What it Means to MP

Peace likens the wife's position to her husband as a soldier to his superior officer, which leads to the biggest problem I have with this chapter: the husband being viewed as the position of authority and the wife respecting her husband because of that position.