So, really, the bottom line is love. Love your friends/family who are stuck in their abusive church. Show them what love is, what joy is, what freedom is, what mundane is. Invite them to share a meal with you (their favorite meal). Be boring. Be you. Be kind, loving, and accepting. This is so attractive to someone in a high-controlling church.
When we start marketing the stories of survivors for personal gain, we are no longer supporting survivors, we are exploiting them.
Economic control is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.
Threats, accusations, and intimidation are tactics used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
So, in an effort to consolidate some of the personal stories, especially for those who would rather not wade through Twitter, I've compiled some important tweet threads here.
Spiritual abuse is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
The key takeaway is this: anytime an abuser is given a platform, that space will never feel safe for survivors.
. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.
Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.
My blog broke the story on two high-profile cases of clergy sexual misconduct. These are very difficult stories to report on, especially as I get to know the survivors and the ongoing emotional and spiritual trauma they endured with these highly influential church leaders. One common misconception I see repeatedly debated in comments on news… Continue reading Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed
There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.
Nate is the first person to interview me specifically about the Ravi Zacharias sex abuse scandal and ask me why I thought it took so long for the collective church to "get it."
"Sometimes people in leadership have to do things that are unethical" - Ravi Zacharias
Ok, popping in here for a quickie post for discussion. Notice this dude is a Master's Seminary Alum. This does not surprise me with the kind of pompous attitudes I have witnessed and encountered from John MacArthur's camp. Case in point, Bill Shannon reached out to me during my lawsuit case. I'll never forget how… Continue reading How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech
And now, Steve Baughman has uncovered more of the same . . . Ravi has a history of seeking sexual gratification for himself, using his position of power and trust to obtain those "favors." This is clergy sexual misconduct and spiritual abuse!
This power-over structure is harmful, demeaning, and depersonalizes women who were made in the Image of God.
"I’ve decided to document pastors and individuals who promote patriarchy here on my blog. I will post screenshots of their tweets or social media posts, and name them and their churches as a public record."
Emotional abuse is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
John Piper could have stopped with "I don't know" in his response to a listener about wife submission. Instead, he gives a round about answer which ultimately adds an extra emotional and spiritual toll on the wife.