A Young Woman’s Personal Story: The Residual Effects of the Teachings by Doug Philips, Bill Gothard, and Patriarchy

Doug Phillips, Patriarchy, Vision Forum, Stay-at-home daughters, Courtship, Quiverfull, Bill Gothard

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything about Doug Phillips, Vision Forum, Bill Gothard, or Patriarchy teachings. A young woman who identified as “Done Running” posted her personal story and it deserves its own post. Done Running describes the residual effects of patriarchal teachings by Doug Phillips. These ideologies (stay-at-home daughters, courtship, quiverfull teachings) leave women completely dependent on their fathers for their choice in marriage partners, schooling, work, etc. It is abusive, and in my opinion, a form of emotional, if not physical kidnapping.

Young women whose parents participate in these teachings/ideologies are not allowed to have independent thought, to make their own choices for their future. The plan is to have the father pass his baton of authority over to a man he selects as her future husband. A woman is always under the authority of a man, never to be free to think for herself. Her role in life is to bear children (as many as the Lord provides) and serve her husband.

~Julie Anne

Ed note:  I bolded important notes, added headings, and added links to the personal story.





Personal Story by “Done Running”

I grew up in a Vision Forum household. My family dynamic led to my mother pursuing very conservative and patriarchal Christian groups. We spent a few years in IBLP, and then ended up with Vision Forum.

As I became a teenager, the iron patriarchal hold on my life strengthened with strangling force. The relationship between my mother and me is permanently damaged from this group, giving her license to completely devalue me as a human being.

I hated Doug Phillips from the beginning. I thought he was creepy and controlling and when I met him, these feelings only intensified. When I confided in my mother, I was told to stop being a rebellious and sinful child that bad-mouthed godly men.

It was scarring to be taught that my only proper use as a female was as a glorified incubator for as many godly little warriors that God chose to bless me with, and dedicate my entire life to raising them. It was debilitating to be taught that if a guy liked me for normal reasons and didn’t pursue a rigid courtship through my father, it was my fault for not being modest and chaste enough. Not being allowed to dictate my own boundaries concerning my body and personal space was horrible.

The ramifications of these parenting choices follow me every day. The “Return Of The Daughters” movie and the book, So Much More, by sisters, Anna-Sophia and Elizabeth Botkins, was held up to me as my personal guides on how to be a good daughter.


“I had no idea of the psychological ramifications

that would continue to follow me.”


I broke away from this when I was 17, and as soon as Doug Phillips was brought down by his abuse of Lourdes, I cried with relief that finally this cultish reign of terror was over in my family. I had already fought my way into attending real college, in person, and felt that I was finally free, but I had no idea of the psychological ramifications that would continue to follow me.

The Long-Term Ramifications

The next 3 years were basically an entire rewiring of my brain. I had almost daily anxiety attacks from normal daily interactions that were never allowed when I was growing up. Working in a regular workplace was both liberating and torture. I had no idea how to handle healthy adult dating relationships, which led to me falling into a short-term abusive relationship with a “Christian” man.

Through all of this I was still fighting my mother tooth and nail to maintain every fraction of independence I gained. She withdrew from Vision Forum, but still upholds some of the ideals, none of which I live up to.

I am now happily engaged to a wonderful man who respects and loves me for my fierce independence, and has no desire to use religion of any description to exert his control over me or my body.

My mother apologized one time for dragging me through the hell that was Vision Forum. She refuses to have any further discussion about it or to admit that any of her parenting calls were misguided. I feel like when you have hurt someone you don’t get to decide that you haven’t, or that you have done enough to repair the damage.


I’m not sure if my mother and I will ever have a good relationship. Any religion or parenting model that gives parents supreme power with no accountability and rips all agency from their children should be avoided with extreme caution and prejudice.

I have never had the outlet to talk about my experience before and I so appreciate this blog. Thank you for creating it and all of you that have shared your stories. I stand with you.


Review of Children’s Book, “God’s Design” – Purity and Honoring God’s Design

God’s Design, Purity, Biblical Gender Roles, Complementarity


Embracing Couple, Miraflores, Peru

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the underlined subtitles below are chapters from the book.

Today, children, we will talk about purity and honoring. It had to be covered at some point, why not now? Continue reading

Second Amended Complaint Filed in Bill Gothard & IBLP Sex Abuse Lawsuit: 18 Victims in Lawsuit

Bill Gothard, Lawsuit, IBLP, Institute in Basic Life Principles, David C. Gibbs III, Sex Abuse, Sexual Grooming, ALERT

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Bill Gothard Added to Lawsuit; Victims Alleging Sex Abuse and Rape

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While the Board of Bill Gothard’s Former Ministry, IBLP, Claims Judge Dismissed Lawsuit, Attorney for Plaintiffs Says Four New Plaintiffs Have Come Forward

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A Spotlight on Abuse and Death of VCY America Founder Vic Eliason

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Attorney David Gibbs III Discusses the IBLP Lawsuit and Answers Important Questions

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Will Anna Duggar be offered as the next live sacrifice to save the Duggar Family Brand? Scapegoating, “Spread Your Legs Theology” and the Modern Molech

Toward understanding the blame borne by wives in Duggar Family religion in the wake of Josh Duggar’s involvement in the Ashley Madison scandal

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How has the Josh Duggar Scandal affected you? Are you experiencing painful reminders?

Josh Duggar, sex scandal, painful reminders, homeschool movement, patriarchy, purity and modesty culture, Bill Gothard

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Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and Their Son, Josh Duggar Release Statement Regarding Josh’s Marital Unfaithfulness, and Poof, it’s Gone!


Jim Bob and Michelle and Josh Duggar release statements related to reports of Josh’s sexual infidelity

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Josh Duggar Reportedly Had Account at Ashley Madison, the Site Used to Help Married People Find Someone with Whom to Have an Extramarital Affair


Josh Duggar reportedly had accounts at Ashley Madison for the intention of connecting with  people who want to have extramarital affairs.

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Pastor and Homeschool Leader Scott Brown Empathizes with Turkish President who says Birth Control is Treason

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Personal Account from Former BJU Student

Rachel Patrick shares personal experiences at Bob Jones University

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Soul Tied: Harmful Spiritual Conclusions about Sex Abuse, Purity Culture, and Sex Abuse Victims


Christian leaders put their spiritual spin on sexual abuse and premarital sex and devalue young women in the process.

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Kevin Swanson Defends Bill Gothard’s Sexual Harassment Charges While Publicly Trash Talks Blogs

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Kevin Swanson defends his friend, Bill Gothard against accusations of sexual harassment, while accusing Spiritual Sounding Board and Patheos.com blogs of dancing on the grave of Christian fundamentalism and Biblical Christianity.

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A Young Woman’s Relationship with Her Boyfriend is Shattered by Christian Patriarchy

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Personal story of a relationship broken by legalistic pressures brought on by teachings from Doug Phillips, Vision Forum and Christian Patriarchy ideology within the Homeschool Movement.