Forgiving may come with time, but should we really forget?
Category: ABUSIVE FAITH & PRACTICE
Guest Post from Sheila Gregoire: Sex and Marriage
And a few months ago I had a revelation. All of these same problems keep cropping up, over and over again. Being a church-going Christian does not keep people from having sex problems in their marriage.
Domestic Violence Survivor Responds to Wayne Grudem's Change of Opinion on "Allowing" Divorce for Abuse in Marriage
Next time you meet a divorced survivor, look in her eyes with kindness and ask yourself how bad it had to be to risk all she did.
Book Review Series – "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace – Chapter Fourteen – A Wife's Orderly Way to Respond to Her Husband's Evil Responses
How does a Christian wife respond to her husband's evil behavior? This orderly list provides more harm than help.
Update on Dr. Wes Feltner of Berean Baptist and Clergy Sexual Misconduct
At the very least, we should have seen Feltner take responsibility for his clergy sexual misconduct. That never happened...
Pastors and Church Leaders: do you know who is in your audience? Well-intentioned sermons may be harmful to survivors.
Please preach and communicate as if one in three women listening in your audience are victims of domestic violence.
The Church Member Check List: Do you fall on the good church member list or the bad church member list?
Do you fall on the good church member list or the bad church member list?
Dissecting Victim (oops) Pastor Wes Feltner’s Public Statement
God has instituted qualifications for elders regardless if someone feels a certain calling. Wes Feltner's supposed calling does not override God's guideline for elders.
Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Thirteen – Submission Provides Protection?
It’s obvious that in Peace’s world of submission, a husband can behave any way he likes without consequence; otherwise, options would be given to wives for how to deal with abusive behaviors.
Is J.D. Greear’s Welcome to Beth Moore Intended for the Home or Pulpit?
Is J.D. opening up his home if Beth Moore is in the area and needs a place to stay, or is he opening the pulpit to her?
Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Twelve – Setting the Stage for Submission
This book has already focused so much on submission, but for some reason Peace has at least two more chapters left on this topic. It makes me wonder if she is trying to convince herself that her theology is that good by saying it over and over and over.
Pastor Neil Schori Urges Pastors and Church Leaders to Get it Right about Domestic Violence
If church leaders are counseling abused spouses to go back to their abusive partners because they don't meet the church-approved "divorce criteria," they are contributing to the abuse by placing survivors in harm's way.
Domestic Violence: A Call to Pastors – Documentation to Help Domestic Violence Victims
This is one practical way that a pastor can help a domestic violence victim - by providing a letter stating that she is needing time off work or a safety accommodation to deal with domestic violence-related issues.
Reader Comments on My Bitterness and Hatred for Posting about Tullian Tchividjian’s Clergy Sexual Misconduct
What Tullian did was disgusting. But I am telling you, Julie Anne, your relentless pursuit of this story is not helping in the compassionate stand-up-for-justice way you think it is. My prayer is that your eyes are opened to the bitterness and hate that you are catering to, and how anti-Christian this material is.
Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Eleven – Mutual Sex or Sex on Demand?
In so many of the godly wife books we see that the wife's duty is to provide sex for her husband whenever he wants it. At least she identifies that a wife has a desire and need for sex.
Spiritual Abuse: Black/White Thinking Can be Used to Harm and Control
In black/white churches, you have two choices: follow along with the pastor, or you are immediately castigated as someone who has made the wrong choice. If people know of your "bad" choice, you may be called a sinner or rebellious.
UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 5, Accountability Systems Breakdown
Part 5 focuses on the other side of Mr Tchividjian's misuse of his platform as a Christian celebrity minister, speaker, and writer – his accountability system victims: superiors, peers, and subordinates.
What courage must it have taken to publicly post a call for Tullian Tchividjian to repent? To apologize for having amplified his impact? To resign from the board of his newly resurrected non-profit? To remove from their ministry website various resources he'd produced? To cancel contracts that would extend his influence?
What did it cost those who were close to him in terms of ministry – especially those who held authority to oversee his recovery plans, and those who'd been his platform peers?
These are the kinds of questions we should consider as we read this final piece in the case study of Tullian Tchividjian and the details of his abuse of systems, ministry, and accountability ...
UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 4, Accountability
It’s not the job of any supervisor, peer, or subordinate to prevent Tullian Tchividjian from sinning, whether he does so mildly or spectacularly. It wasn’t the role of his non-profit board, church sessions, publishing house legal departments, counselors, friends, etc. It’s not even possible. He himself is responsible for his own choices and their impact.
UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 3, Industrial Complex
... there were over 150 individuals in at least 10 institutions who had direct connections with Tullian Tchividjian as his superiors, peers, or subordinates. And yet, it seems nobody could keep him from his two extramarital sexual involvements he has already admitted to (after they were discovered or disclosed), or from his reported predatory/seductive behavior patterns, or from his reported multiple failures to tell the full truth.
UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 2, Repair
What does real-world remediation / repentance look like? How can we see what it takes in both attitudes and actions to accomplish damage repair? This post gives three examples of remediation (repair work) — one dealing with a product, one with a denominational organization, one with a social system. Each is notable for seeking to engage in a constructive way parties who were directly involved, and in some cases those who were indirectly affected.