Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Authoritative Preaching, BGBC Lawsuit, Leaving the Church, Religious Power and Control, Shunning, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

How to Effectively Engage with Loved Ones Still Trapped in High-Controlling Churches

So, really, the bottom line is love. Love your friends/family who are stuck in their abusive church. Show them what love is, what joy is, what freedom is, what mundane is. Invite them to share a meal with you (their favorite meal). Be boring. Be you. Be kind, loving, and accepting. This is so attractive to someone in a high-controlling church.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Bethlehem Baptist Church, Christian Media, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Failure to Report Crimes, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority

Should I trust Christian media outlets to share my deeply painful church abuse story? Here’s a follow-up article based on my years of covering spiritual abuse testimonies, including quite a few high-profile cases.

The key takeaway is this: anytime an abuser is given a platform, that space will never feel safe for survivors.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Biblical Manhood, Christian Marriage, Church Discipline Process, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, emotional abuse, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Misuse of Scripture, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

We Now See the Fruit of Doug Wilson’s Teachings on Marital Sex: Personal Accounts of Marital Rape

Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Meetings with the Pastor, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

To Mark Gungor: There is Nothing Inspiring about using “Humor” to Publicly Degrade Women; and Please Do Better on Sex Abuse Cases

There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

When “O Holy Night” Becomes a Nightmare to Someone Whose Faith Has Been Harmed

"This performance is so sincere and heartfelt, shows a high level of skill, and may be the very one you love best of all. I think it is just awful, the perfect expression of a particular culture that I used to think was just distasteful and now believe to be rotten to the core."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Courtship, Divorce, Doctrine as Idol, Homeschool Movement, Leaving the Church, Modesty and Purity Teachings, Narcissistic Pastors, Recovery Process, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit

SGM Survivor Speaks Out about Josh Harris

I can't imagine the level of psychological trauma, pain & horror as Joshua (and Shannon) began to discover a lot of their framework for their life was built on religion & false fears & manipulated, pseudo acts of "love."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit

My Thoughts on Josh Harris as a “Fallen Christian”

"Many people tell me that there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I’m not there now.⁣⁣"

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, C.J. Mahaney, Christian Marriage, Courtship, Divorce, Doctrine as Idol, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Homeschool Movement, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Modesty and Purity Teachings, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Authority

My Thoughts: Josh Harris (I Kissed Dating Good-bye) and His Wife, Shannon, Announce Marital Separation

But it makes me once again question those ideologies that led up to this point. It makes me think about spiritual abuse. It makes me think about Patriarchy. What significant changes were made in their journey? What ideologies did each one keep, and each one ditch?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Blog Series - Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery, Chuck O'Neal, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority

Spiritual Abuse: How Unsanctioned Friendships Can Enable People to Leave High-Controlling Churches

"They taught me that sometimes the exit door of an abusive church is held open by the gracious hands of friends who have nothing to do with church, or even with Christianity, but who simply would never turn their back on a friend."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Clergy Misconduct, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Harvest Bible Chapel, James MacDonald, Leaving the Church, Narcissistic Pastors, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

Harvest Bible Chapel’s Pastor James MacDonald is OUT; the Painful Personal Stories Left in the Wake

Well, he finally did enough damage that even his elders cannot cover this up. James MacDonald was caught saying despicable and cruel things on a recording which was aired by Chicago-area radio personality and former Harvest Bible Chapel congregant, "Mancow" Muller. on WLS/AM 890. And he was fired!

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, child abuse, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Doctrine as Idol, Failure to Report Crimes, Leaving the Church, Mandatory Reporting, Pulpit & Pen blog, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, SMH (Shake My Head), Spiritual Bullies, Troubling Tweets, Women and the Church

Seth Dunn Tweets that a Woman Pastor is Just as Bad as a Sex Offender Who is Hired as a Pastor

It is people like Seth, who refuse to take sex abuse of children seriously, why we have had very little positive change in how child sex abuse cases have been handled.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, BGBC Google Reviews, BGBC Lawsuit, Chuck O'Neal, JULIE ANNE'S CASE, Leaving the Church, Legalism, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Bullies

Negative Google Reviews are Still Keeping People Away from My Spiritually Abusive Church 6 Years after Lawsuit

Chuck O'Neal, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Spiritual Abuse, Negative Google Reviews, Defamation Lawsuit     The other day, I got a call from my good friend, Michelle, who used to attend the cult/church we attended. Her husband used to be on staff at the church (Beaverton Grace Bible Church) and was fired. That led to… Continue reading Negative Google Reviews are Still Keeping People Away from My Spiritually Abusive Church 6 Years after Lawsuit

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Leaving the Church, Personal Stories, Recovery Process

Another Sad Church Story

  This story is not over yet, but I figure I better check in before people start wondering what's happening with me. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read about my pastor and church. It's a long story, and one I hope to tell one day, but for now, I am grieving… Continue reading Another Sad Church Story

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, CHURCH GOVERNANCE & POLICIES, Church Governance or Policy Issues, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Failure to Report Crimes, Leaving the Church, Mandatory Reporting, Meetings with the Pastor, Personal Stories, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Troubling Tweets

Sovereign Grace Church Leaders Remove Wife from Women’s Small Group Leader Position after Couple Asks Questions

*** Both Jeff Owens and his wife Sarah recently sent out a thread of tweets regarding a recent experience they had at their former (unidentified)  Sovereign Grace church. I think these tweets deserve a wider audience. What you will read is not healthy at all, and people need to understand the dismissive and bullying behavior… Continue reading Sovereign Grace Church Leaders Remove Wife from Women’s Small Group Leader Position after Couple Asks Questions

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Failure to Report Crimes, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Meetings with the Pastor, Personal Stories, Women and the Church

A Personal Story and a Sad Conclusion When Pastors Failed to Respond Appropriately to Domestic Violence

Domestic violence, Church response, Rob Porter *** You may have heard in the news recently about Rob Porter who worked for President Trump in the White House. Porter recently resigned his position as White House Staff Secretary after allegations of domestic violence from his two ex-wives surfaced in the media. It was disheartening to hear… Continue reading A Personal Story and a Sad Conclusion When Pastors Failed to Respond Appropriately to Domestic Violence

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Church Discipline Process, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Meetings with the Pastor, Personal Stories, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

Bethlehem Baptist Church Excommunicates Victim of Domestic Violence

Bethlehem Baptist Church, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Excommunication, Spiritual Abuse *** Over a year ago (November 1, 2016), I posted the article, 1-1/2 years Later, Bethlehem Baptist Church Doesn’t Seem to get Domestic Violence: A Personal Story. I have a followup to that article. For those who have never read the story, I will repost most of the… Continue reading Bethlehem Baptist Church Excommunicates Victim of Domestic Violence

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Failure to Report Crimes, It's All About the Image, Leaving the Church, Mandatory Reporting, Meetings with the Pastor, Mental Health and the Church, No-Talk Rule, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Bullies, Statute of Limitations

First #MeToo, Now #ChurchToo: Sexual Abuse, Harassment, and Mishandling in the Church

#MeToo, #ChurchToo, Sexual Abuse, Harassment, Church *** The hashtag #MeToo has been trending for quite some time on Twitter. Women who have been sexually harassed or abused have been identifying themselves as survivors of sexual harm, indicating it with the hashtag, #MeToo. But now, there is a new trending hashtag, #ChurchToo. The stories that you… Continue reading First #MeToo, Now #ChurchToo: Sexual Abuse, Harassment, and Mishandling in the Church

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Emotional Responses, Leaving the Church, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Stories of Hope

Dr. Dan Allender: Trauma, Our Personal Stories, and Recovery through Music

Dr. Dan Allender, Trauma, Music, Spiritual Abuse Recovery, Personal Stories *** Those who have been reading here for a while know how important I believe it is for survivors to tell their abuse stories. It took a while for us to believe the lies our church leader(s) told us about who we are and who… Continue reading Dr. Dan Allender: Trauma, Our Personal Stories, and Recovery through Music

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Authoritative Preaching, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Blog Series - Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery, Chuck O'Neal, Church Bandwagon, CHURCH GOVERNANCE & POLICIES, Church Governance or Policy Issues, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Doctrine as Idol, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Leaving the Church, Legalism, Shunning, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

Blog Series: Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery by Pastor Ken Garrett, Wk 2

Spiritual Abuse, Pastor Ken Garrett, Spiritual Abuse in the church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery *** Ok, here we go, plowing through Pastor Ken Garret's dissertation about spiritual abuse. I used the word plowing intentionally. For some of us, it will be work. It is not enjoyable to be reminded about difficult experiences. However,… Continue reading Blog Series: Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery by Pastor Ken Garrett, Wk 2

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, ABUSERS & THEIR TACTICS, Blog Series - Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery, Leaving the Church

New Blog Series: Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery by Pastor Ken Garrett

Spiritual Abuse, Pastor Ken Garrett, Spiritual Abuse in the church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery *** As I was reading through Ken Garrett's dissertation, I had to stop and soak up what I had just read. It took time to process and I felt like if I continued reading, I might miss something. It… Continue reading New Blog Series: Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery by Pastor Ken Garrett