ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Stories of Hope, SURVIVOR STORIES

What’s Going on with JA?

But what I missed in listening to the stories is that sometimes those stories resonated personally for me. Sometimes after listening to or reading someone's personal story, their story elicited a personal response for me. It reminded me of my own journey. My own unfinished business.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Calvinism, Doctrine as Idol, Going Back to Church Again, John Piper, Mental Health and the Church, Personal Stories, Spiritual Abuse

Caution: Children and Predestination

Predestination and Children My friend, Ryan Stollar, posted this on his Facebook wall, and I was struck at how damaging Predestination can be to children, especially vulnerable children. Shoot, I think it could scare adults, too! Special thanks to Ryan for writing about this and giving me permission to share it.  ~ja First off, what… Continue reading Caution: Children and Predestination

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Leaving the Church, Personal Stories, Recovery Process

Another Sad Church Story

  This story is not over yet, but I figure I better check in before people start wondering what's happening with me. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read about my pastor and church. It's a long story, and one I hope to tell one day, but for now, I am grieving… Continue reading Another Sad Church Story

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Classical Conversations, Dictators, It's All About the Image, Legalism, Misuse of Scripture, No-Talk Rule, Parenting, Personal Stories, Spiritual Bullies

Classical Conversations #7: Business or a Non-Profit; Cult or a Christian Homeschool Group?

*** NOTE: This is part of a series that began with these earlier posts: Classical Conversations #1: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Classical Conversations #2: What Led You to Join a Classical Conversations Homeschool Community? #ClassicalConvMadeKnown Classical Conversations #3: Leaders Delete Comments and Block Commenters Who Don’t Toe the Line Classical Conversations #4: A CC… Continue reading Classical Conversations #7: Business or a Non-Profit; Cult or a Christian Homeschool Group?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, Bill Gothard, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Domestic Violence, Homeschool Movement, Personal Stories

Woman Feels Spiritually Trapped after Having Grown up in a Conservative Reformed Christian Homeschool Family

I found Ann's comment (below) in moderation, but felt it deserved a wider audience than where it was intended to be posted. Ann's story most certainly is not unique. Her struggle goes along with the previous two posts on abuse in marriage, but is compounded with a childhood of teachings that have been harmful to… Continue reading Woman Feels Spiritually Trapped after Having Grown up in a Conservative Reformed Christian Homeschool Family

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Personal Stories, Stories of Hope

An Abusive Marriage, Well-Meaning Christians, and God’s Word

*** I ran across a post on Facebook that a friend wrote. Flo Fromer-Wedding posted about the spiritual tug-of-war process she went through while she was in an abusive marriage.  Unfortunately, the church is often a volatile place for abused women to get help, especially when there is greater emphasis on the "covenant of marriage,"… Continue reading An Abusive Marriage, Well-Meaning Christians, and God’s Word

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, CHURCH GOVERNANCE & POLICIES, Church Governance or Policy Issues, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Failure to Report Crimes, Leaving the Church, Mandatory Reporting, Meetings with the Pastor, Personal Stories, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Troubling Tweets

Sovereign Grace Church Leaders Remove Wife from Women’s Small Group Leader Position after Couple Asks Questions

*** Both Jeff Owens and his wife Sarah recently sent out a thread of tweets regarding a recent experience they had at their former (unidentified)  Sovereign Grace church. I think these tweets deserve a wider audience. What you will read is not healthy at all, and people need to understand the dismissive and bullying behavior… Continue reading Sovereign Grace Church Leaders Remove Wife from Women’s Small Group Leader Position after Couple Asks Questions

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Clergy Sex Abuse, Domestic Violence, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Failure to Report Crimes, James Dobson, John MacArthur, Legalism, Mandatory Reporting, Mental Health and the Church, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Spiritual Abuse, SURVIVOR STORIES, The Gospel Coalition, Women and the Church

Personal Story: What Did the Church Teach You about Yourself?

Spiritual abuse, sex abuse, patriarchy, domestic violence, Sovereign Grace, Desiring God, CJ Mahaney, John Piper, Mental Health *** *** Part of recovery from abusive churches is coming to grips with what you were taught and how it affected you. Sometimes, and very appropriately, the ability to see this clearly results in anger. Jennifer Michelle posted… Continue reading Personal Story: What Did the Church Teach You about Yourself?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Bill Gothard, Bill Gothard & IBLP Lawsuit, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, IBLP and ATI, Personal Stories, SURVIVOR STORIES

From a Bill Gothard Survivor to Other Survivors: Free Yourselves

Bill Gothard, IBLP, ATI, Institutes in Basic Life Principles, Spiritual Abuse, Sexual Abuse *** The following was written by David Shere, who has been reading here for some time. He wanted to share his thoughts and advice as a Bill Gothard survivor.  This was written after the news that the plaintiffs had dismissed the lawsuit… Continue reading From a Bill Gothard Survivor to Other Survivors: Free Yourselves

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Biblical Counseling, Bill Gothard, Bill Gothard & IBLP Lawsuit, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Stories of Hope

Survivor Emily Jaeger Responds to Bill Gothard’s Reactions to Her Revealing She is “Jane Doe III”

Bill Gothard, sex abuse, cults, lawsuit, Emily Jaeger, freedom, IBLP *** A note of introduction from Julie Anne: Emily Jaeger is one of the sexual abuse survivors and plaintiffs in the Bill Gothard/IBLP sex abuse lawsuit. Her official statement about the lawsuit was posted on Spiritual Sounding Board a few days ago. Then someone close… Continue reading Survivor Emily Jaeger Responds to Bill Gothard’s Reactions to Her Revealing She is “Jane Doe III”

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Failure to Report Crimes, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Meetings with the Pastor, Personal Stories, Women and the Church

A Personal Story and a Sad Conclusion When Pastors Failed to Respond Appropriately to Domestic Violence

Domestic violence, Church response, Rob Porter *** You may have heard in the news recently about Rob Porter who worked for President Trump in the White House. Porter recently resigned his position as White House Staff Secretary after allegations of domestic violence from his two ex-wives surfaced in the media. It was disheartening to hear… Continue reading A Personal Story and a Sad Conclusion When Pastors Failed to Respond Appropriately to Domestic Violence

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Biblical Counseling, Christian Marriage, Church Discipline Process, Complementarianism, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Personal Stories, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

BREAKING: Leaders at Doug Wilson’s Christ Church Put Woman in Abusive Marriage Under Church Discipline

Mike Lawyer, Counseling, Abuse in Marriage, Abuse of Authority I have been in contact with a woman named Gen, who has agreed to let me post this letter she received from Mike Lawyer, "on behalf of Christ Church Session." Christ Church is Doug Wilson's church in Moscow, Idaho. If you would like to learn more… Continue reading BREAKING: Leaders at Doug Wilson’s Christ Church Put Woman in Abusive Marriage Under Church Discipline

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Marriage, Personal Stories, Women and the Church

Trite, Unhelpful, and Demoralizing Responses to Wives in Harmful Marriages

*** I am posting a comment that came in on yesterday's post Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Stuffing Feelings and Pretending to Be Joyful by someone who used the name, Auislucky. Auislucky mentioned at the bottom of her comment that she didn't want me to post her comment if it would hurt someone.… Continue reading Trite, Unhelpful, and Demoralizing Responses to Wives in Harmful Marriages

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Church Discipline Process, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Meetings with the Pastor, Personal Stories, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

Bethlehem Baptist Church Excommunicates Victim of Domestic Violence

Bethlehem Baptist Church, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Excommunication, Spiritual Abuse *** Over a year ago (November 1, 2016), I posted the article, 1-1/2 years Later, Bethlehem Baptist Church Doesn’t Seem to get Domestic Violence: A Personal Story. I have a followup to that article. For those who have never read the story, I will repost most of the… Continue reading Bethlehem Baptist Church Excommunicates Victim of Domestic Violence

Divorce, Domestic Violence, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Personal Stories, Single and Christian

Single (Divorced) Woman Asks About Her Friendship with a Married Man from Church

Single Christians, Divorced Christians, Cross-Gender Relationships, Church Response *** A woman found SSB and sent me an e-mail about her situation. The e-mail is from a single/divorced woman and the friendship she has with the praise and worship leader at her church. She, too, is on the praise and worship team. This kind of situation… Continue reading Single (Divorced) Woman Asks About Her Friendship with a Married Man from Church

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority

Spiritual Abuse, PTSD, and the Aftermath

Spiritual Abuse, PTSD, Recovery, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Chuck O'Neal *** When someone deals with spiritual abuse, it can have lasting consequences. One popular response is making the decision to no longer go an institutional church. I get that. I'm pretty sure I relayed the story either in a post, or in comments, that one… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse, PTSD, and the Aftermath

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Emotional Responses, Leaving the Church, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Stories of Hope

Dr. Dan Allender: Trauma, Our Personal Stories, and Recovery through Music

Dr. Dan Allender, Trauma, Music, Spiritual Abuse Recovery, Personal Stories *** Those who have been reading here for a while know how important I believe it is for survivors to tell their abuse stories. It took a while for us to believe the lies our church leader(s) told us about who we are and who… Continue reading Dr. Dan Allender: Trauma, Our Personal Stories, and Recovery through Music

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Failure to Report Crimes, Forgiveness, Going Back to Church Again, LAWSUITS, Mandatory Reporting, Narcissistic Pastors, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Bullies

Kari Benton Shares: Spiritual Recovery after a Lawsuit and Spiritual Abuse

*** Some may recall the story of Titus and Kari Benton who were in a defamation lawsuit by their former pastor, Steve Wingfield, of First Christian Church of Florissant. The case was later dismissed, but when you are sued by your former employer and pastor, your long-term church home, and experience spiritual abuse, it takes… Continue reading Kari Benton Shares: Spiritual Recovery after a Lawsuit and Spiritual Abuse

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Guest Post, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, SPIRITUAL SOUNDING BOARD

Recovering from Spiritual Abuse and Discussion about The Shack

Spiritual Abuse, The Shack, Paul Young, Brenda Campbell, Spiritual Recovery I'm happy to share a post from my friend, Brenda Campbell. Brenda is also a long-time friend here at SSB, and she has a tremendous heart for those who have been harmed and also those who are stuck spiritually. She has gone on her own… Continue reading Recovering from Spiritual Abuse and Discussion about The Shack