Predestination and Children My friend, Ryan Stollar, posted this on his Facebook wall, and I was struck at how damaging Predestination can be to children, especially vulnerable children. Shoot, I think it could scare adults, too! Special thanks to Ryan for writing about this and giving me permission to share it. ~ja First off, what… Continue reading Caution: Children and Predestination
*** Some may recall the story of Titus and Kari Benton who were in a defamation lawsuit by their former pastor, Steve Wingfield, of First Christian Church of Florissant. The case was later dismissed, but when you are sued by your former employer and pastor, your long-term church home, and experience spiritual abuse, it takes… Continue reading Kari Benton Shares: Spiritual Recovery after a Lawsuit and Spiritual Abuse
Spiritual Abuse, Recovery, Pastor Ken Garrett Now this is a great story! Some long-time readers will probably remember how I met Pastor Ken Garrett, a good friend of mine and of SSB. After I got sued by my pastor in 2012, I received an email from another pastor in Portland. This guy was… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery
How Do You Respond When Someone Talks to You About Your Lack of Church Attendance? Kathi here. For many years my family and I attended church. We faithfully went to Sunday service, Wednesday nights, gave our money and spent hundreds, if not thousands, of hours volunteering. At one point, though, we realized that we were… Continue reading When You are Done with Church
Pastor John Raymond, New Horizon Calvary Chapel Church, Slidell, Louisiana, Steven Angle, Spiritual Abuse Yesterday on Facebook, journalist Ashley Rodrigue of WWLTV posted the following press release from the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff in Louisiana (typed and screenshot below): by Ashley Rodrigue WWLTV (PRESS RELEASE) HAMMOND, LA - Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff Daniel Edwards is asking… Continue reading Learn to Discern: Pastor John Raymond, in His Own Words
Tullian Tchividjian, Bob Coy, Church Leaders Response, Clergy Sex Abuse, Sexual Infidelity, Spiritual Abuse, Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale *** I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep,… Continue reading Pastors Tullian Tchividjian + Bob Coy + Sexual Sin + Church Leaders Who Protect Immoral Pastors = A Broken Church
One disturbing aspect of spiritual abuse is how it can leave us questioning our salvation and in a state of confusion. I received an e-mail this morning and asked if I could post it here for discussion. ~ja Trouble Letting Go Compared to some of the stories on your blog, my spiritual abuse is… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: Trouble Letting Go
*** My friend, Pastor Jeff Crippen, who blogs about domestic violence at A Cry for Justice posted the following note on the A Cry for Justice Facebook page and I asked pretty please if I could share it with you. Yes, I really did say, "pretty please." LOL Sadly, at Spiritual Sounding Board, we do often… Continue reading Why Don’t Young People go to Church?
Spiritual abuse can leave damaging scars, some resulting in real difficulties, including anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks, etc. *** Longtime SSB reader, Refugee, left a comment with questions regarding the difficulty she is facing after having experienced spiritual abuse. Because she responded to an older article and I really want her to get answers (and likely… Continue reading Emotional Chaos after Spiritual Abuse
*** What does church look like for you after spiritual abuse? Do you still go? What do you do on Sundays? Sometimes I don't feel like going to church at all, but end up going because of my kids or commitments I've made. But if I were without children/commitments, I wonder where I would… Continue reading The Difficult Sundays after Spiritual Abuse
Do individuals suffer harm when they remain in verbally or emotionally abusive relationships? Cindy Kunsman illustrates the effects through an account of spiritual abuse. By Cindy Kunsman, UnderMuchGrace.com After reading Julie Anne's post questioning whether divorce from an abusive spouse is actually a “sin,” I found myself thinking of the loss of perspective and… Continue reading Loss of Perspective: The Cost of Enduring Abuse
*** How do we move on spiritually when we have based our lives around the teachings of spiritual leaders like Doug Phillips or Bill Gothard who have fallen? *** With the recent scandals involving Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard, it is as if the spiritual rug has been pulled for some families. These men were so… Continue reading Crumbling Foundation: How Do We Move on after Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard, our Spiritual Leaders, Have Failed Us?
* * * Many people who have been hurt by religion want to escape from it. We'll take a look at an organization that is offering a refuge from religion, Recovering from Religion. Is this the answer? * * * * * … Continue reading Finding Refuge from Religion: Forever
* * * Did you know today is Back to Church Sunday? I didn't until just today. The spoof Twitter account, Fair IC Baptist mentioned it here. Below is a screenshot: * * * * * * Fair IC Baptist is usually pretty… Continue reading Back to Church Sunday: What is This? What Do You Think?
* * * We've spent the last several days discussing a variety of issues stemmed from Brenda's very important topic of institutional churches failing to meet the real needs of their people who are suffering abuse. Quite a bit of the conversation shifted to the subject that church as an institution… Continue reading What Does Non-Institutionalized Church Look Like?
Stephen Smith from Liberty for Captives blog quoted comments from some of you and added more of his own insight. It’s excellent. Let’s keep talking! This is good stuff!!
Cults are bad even when they lead you to Jesus.
I came to know God in a church which turned out to be a Bible cult.
I was raised in this church and I stayed until I was thirty years old. Early on, I had no other experience of what church could or should be like. By the time I visited other churches in college, my worldview was steeped in the teachings of this particular group. In this unhealthy church I had a genuine conversion experience and was taught the Bible. In this church, the pastor sometimes acted with apparent patience, kindness, and love. He rose early and stayed up late in order to conduct the affairs of the church. He forsook vacations and seemed to eschew worldly praise. He gave money to congregants who were down and out. His words sounded spiritual—they seemed to float in calm, sanctimonious sunbeams…
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Admin note: An earlier post (Happy Tears), we discussed going back to church after abuse: what helped, what to look for, what to avoid, etc. The list was compiled and so I am posting it here (in order to have a link) and will also post a link to it in the "Helpful Resources" tab… Continue reading Going Back to Church? Some Thoughts to Consider
A few admin notes first: When I first was served the subpoena, I reached out to people on the internet who had dealt with spiritual abuse for help. One person was Barb Orlowski who reads and comments here. Barb put me in contact with a group of people, some who have gone through tragic stories… Continue reading Commenter Asks: Is Church Safe Anymore?
* * * My kids have been having fun this week tracking their mama around on the internet and have been greatly amused that they can type "Julie Anne lawsuit" in their Google search field and see their mama. I'm not sure what I think about it. Not only has the… Continue reading Trying Church Again