While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.
Category: Domestic Violence and Churches
My Church Leaders Were Abusive: Should I share my story publicly with Christian media? Is there something I can do that will affect positive change?
. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.
ACBC’s Consideration of the Duluth Model
Could the real reason for this podcast be that ACBC counselors are finding something useful from an outside source when talking to victims of domestic violence?
We Now See the Fruit of Doug Wilson’s Teachings on Marital Sex: Personal Accounts of Marital Rape
Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.
How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech
Ok, popping in here for a quickie post for discussion. Notice this dude is a Master's Seminary Alum. This does not surprise me with the kind of pompous attitudes I have witnessed and encountered from John MacArthur's camp. Case in point, Bill Shannon reached out to me during my lawsuit case. I'll never forget how… Continue reading How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech
Domestic Violence Awareness Month – Resources for Pastors and Churches
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This post lists several resources for churches and pastors to use when thinking about responding to domestic abuse.
The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity: Introducing Brian Sauvé
This power-over structure is harmful, demeaning, and depersonalizes women who were made in the Image of God.
The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity
"I’ve decided to document pastors and individuals who promote patriarchy here on my blog. I will post screenshots of their tweets or social media posts, and name them and their churches as a public record."
Religious Power and Control: Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming
Minimizing, denying, and blaming are tactics used by abusive leaders and groups to maintain power and control over their members.
John Piper on Complementarianism and Abuse – #T4G20
What is up with John Piper's erratic response on Complementarianism and abuse?
Spiritual Abuse & Domestic Violence – A Call for Stories
Requesting stories for a training opportunity for victim advocates.
Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Fifteen – One Long, Unmotivating List
In this chapter, the author provides a list of ways wives are motivated to honor Christ in submission to their husbands. I'm motivated to cut out as much from the list as possible. ~Kathi
Domestic Violence Survivor Responds to Wayne Grudem’s Change of Opinion on “Allowing” Divorce for Abuse in Marriage
Next time you meet a divorced survivor, look in her eyes with kindness and ask yourself how bad it had to be to risk all she did.
Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Fourteen – A Wife’s Orderly Way to Respond to Her Husband’s Evil Responses
How does a Christian wife respond to her husband's evil behavior? This orderly list provides more harm than help.
Pastors and Church Leaders: do you know who is in your audience? Well-intentioned sermons may be harmful to survivors.
Please preach and communicate as if one in three women listening in your audience are victims of domestic violence.
Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Thirteen – Submission Provides Protection?
It’s obvious that in Peace’s world of submission, a husband can behave any way he likes without consequence; otherwise, options would be given to wives for how to deal with abusive behaviors.
Pastor Neil Schori Urges Pastors and Church Leaders to Get it Right about Domestic Violence
If church leaders are counseling abused spouses to go back to their abusive partners because they don't meet the church-approved "divorce criteria," they are contributing to the abuse by placing survivors in harm's way.
Domestic Violence: A Call to Pastors – Documentation to Help Domestic Violence Victims
This is one practical way that a pastor can help a domestic violence victim - by providing a letter stating that she is needing time off work or a safety accommodation to deal with domestic violence-related issues.
Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Seven – False Idols and Faking Joy
I honestly don't understand how a wife expecting her husband to treat her with respect, kindness, and love is an idol.
Book Review Series – “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace – Chapter Five: Wives, if You Experience Abuse, Acknowledge Your Sin
"A wife who is a victim of abuse should not be forced to think about how her "sinful actions" contributed to abuse. This constant reminder of sin can keep a victim trapped in an abusive marriage longer than she should be."
Spiritual Sounding Board 