Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, BGBC Lawsuit, C.J. Mahaney, Chuck O'Neal, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Disturbing Trends, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, JULIE ANNE'S CASE, Mandatory Reporting, Mark Driscoll, Narcissistic Pastors, Ravi Zacharias, Recovery Process, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Bullies

My Church Leaders Were Abusive: Should I share my story publicly with Christian media? Is there something I can do that will affect positive change?

. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Personal Stories, Safe Churches, Single and Christian, Small Groups, Well Done, Church Leaders!

We are Image Bearers of Christ in Our Marriages and in Our Singlehood

" . . . unless the church treats all individuals as image bearers of Christ, we will not be the Body of Christ as the church was intended to be."

Open Blogging, Personal Stories, Safe Churches, Self-Care, SPIRITUAL SOUNDING BOARD

Checking In: How Are You Holding Up Under the COVID-19 Lockdown?

So . . . how are you doing with this pandemic? How is it affecting you emotionally and spiritually? Are you staying connected with people? What kinds of things are you doing at home? Are you doing anything differently?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Grieving Procoess, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Stories of Hope, SURVIVOR STORIES

Julie Anne’s Personal Story on the Redemptive Gift of Grief

So, then the question I'm learning to ask myself is: what pain am I avoiding, and why am I avoiding it? Isn’t numbing pain simply prolonging it? Why would I want to prolong pain? What would happen if I moved toward the pain and wrestled with it? What would that look like?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Courtship, Divorce, Doctrine as Idol, Homeschool Movement, Leaving the Church, Modesty and Purity Teachings, Narcissistic Pastors, Recovery Process, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit

SGM Survivor Speaks Out about Josh Harris

I can't imagine the level of psychological trauma, pain & horror as Joshua (and Shannon) began to discover a lot of their framework for their life was built on religion & false fears & manipulated, pseudo acts of "love."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, C.J. Mahaney, Christian Marriage, Courtship, Divorce, Doctrine as Idol, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Homeschool Movement, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Modesty and Purity Teachings, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Authority

My Thoughts: Josh Harris (I Kissed Dating Good-bye) and His Wife, Shannon, Announce Marital Separation

But it makes me once again question those ideologies that led up to this point. It makes me think about spiritual abuse. It makes me think about Patriarchy. What significant changes were made in their journey? What ideologies did each one keep, and each one ditch?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Stories of Hope, SURVIVOR STORIES

What’s Going on with JA?

But what I missed in listening to the stories is that sometimes those stories resonated personally for me. Sometimes after listening to or reading someone's personal story, their story elicited a personal response for me. It reminded me of my own journey. My own unfinished business.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, ABUSERS & THEIR TACTICS, Addressing Abuse, Clergy Sex Abuse, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY

Spiritual Abuse: Is This Worth Dividing the Church Over?

Spiritual Abuse, Jonathan Hollingsworth This is the sixth and final blog post referencing an article by Jonathan Hollingsworth, What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Been Hurt by the Church. The article resonated with a lot of people, so I thought it might be a good idea to discuss these unhelpful statements one by one here,… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: Is This Worth Dividing the Church Over?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY

Good Friday, Notre Dame, and Resurrection

The spiritual abuse I experienced will only be a blip in my life's story, and it doesn't define who I am, just as Notre Dame's 2019 fire does not define it. Abuse is part of my story and has shaped me, and has produced life-changing fruit.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Calvinism, Doctrine as Idol, Going Back to Church Again, John Piper, Mental Health and the Church, Personal Stories, Spiritual Abuse

Caution: Children and Predestination

Predestination and Children My friend, Ryan Stollar, posted this on his Facebook wall, and I was struck at how damaging Predestination can be to children, especially vulnerable children. Shoot, I think it could scare adults, too! Special thanks to Ryan for writing about this and giving me permission to share it.  ~ja First off, what… Continue reading Caution: Children and Predestination

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Bullies

Spiritual Abuse: When People Ask You, “Are You Working Toward Reconciliation?”

Spiritual Abuse, What Not to Say, Jonathan Hollingsworth, Reconciliation   This is the second blog post referring to an article by Jonathan Hollingsworth, What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Been Hurt by the Church. The article resonated with a lot of people, so I thought it might be a good idea to discuss these unhelpful statements… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: When People Ask You, “Are You Working Toward Reconciliation?”

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Leaving the Church, Personal Stories, Recovery Process

Another Sad Church Story

  This story is not over yet, but I figure I better check in before people start wondering what's happening with me. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have read about my pastor and church. It's a long story, and one I hope to tell one day, but for now, I am grieving… Continue reading Another Sad Church Story

9Marks, ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Complementarianism, Failure to Report Crimes, Fred Butler, It's All About the Image, John MacArthur, Safe Churches, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Women and the Church

Fred Butler, #MeToo and the Worldly Culture

***   Who is Fred Butler? I saw this tweet the other day. Long-time blog readers will recognize the name, Fred Butler, an employee of Grace to You, the radio ministry of Pastor John MacArthur. Butler's tweet references another tweet from the @9Marks Twitter account which quotes from an article recently posted on their site.… Continue reading Fred Butler, #MeToo and the Worldly Culture

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Clergy Sex Abuse, Domestic Violence, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Failure to Report Crimes, James Dobson, John MacArthur, Legalism, Mandatory Reporting, Mental Health and the Church, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Spiritual Abuse, SURVIVOR STORIES, The Gospel Coalition, Women and the Church

Personal Story: What Did the Church Teach You about Yourself?

Spiritual abuse, sex abuse, patriarchy, domestic violence, Sovereign Grace, Desiring God, CJ Mahaney, John Piper, Mental Health *** *** Part of recovery from abusive churches is coming to grips with what you were taught and how it affected you. Sometimes, and very appropriately, the ability to see this clearly results in anger. Jennifer Michelle posted… Continue reading Personal Story: What Did the Church Teach You about Yourself?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Biblical Counseling, Bill Gothard, Bill Gothard & IBLP Lawsuit, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Stories of Hope

Survivor Emily Jaeger Responds to Bill Gothard’s Reactions to Her Revealing She is “Jane Doe III”

Bill Gothard, sex abuse, cults, lawsuit, Emily Jaeger, freedom, IBLP *** A note of introduction from Julie Anne: Emily Jaeger is one of the sexual abuse survivors and plaintiffs in the Bill Gothard/IBLP sex abuse lawsuit. Her official statement about the lawsuit was posted on Spiritual Sounding Board a few days ago. Then someone close… Continue reading Survivor Emily Jaeger Responds to Bill Gothard’s Reactions to Her Revealing She is “Jane Doe III”

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, Domestic Violence, Full-Quiver, Homeschool Legal Defense Association, Homeschool Movement, Legalism, Parenting, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Recovery Process

The David and Louise Turpin Family Homeschool Cult

David and Louise Turpin, Homeschool, Cult, Abuse, Torture *** Most likely you have heard the news about the large homeschooling family, the Turpins, from California. The parents, David, 57, and Louise, 49, Turpin who were arrested for torture and child endangerment, with bail set at $9 million each. Here are some of the key facts:… Continue reading The David and Louise Turpin Family Homeschool Cult

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority

Spiritual Abuse, PTSD, and the Aftermath

Spiritual Abuse, PTSD, Recovery, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Chuck O'Neal *** When someone deals with spiritual abuse, it can have lasting consequences. One popular response is making the decision to no longer go an institutional church. I get that. I'm pretty sure I relayed the story either in a post, or in comments, that one… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse, PTSD, and the Aftermath