When our eldest daughter was 13 and before she started her period, my then husband told me he did not want her to use tampons because it would break her hymen and it was important for her future husband to do so.
Category: ABUSERS & THEIR TACTICS
How to Effectively Engage with Loved Ones Still Trapped in High-Controlling Churches
So, really, the bottom line is love. Love your friends/family who are stuck in their abusive church. Show them what love is, what joy is, what freedom is, what mundane is. Invite them to share a meal with you (their favorite meal). Be boring. Be you. Be kind, loving, and accepting. This is so attractive to someone in a high-controlling church.
Julie Anne Gets Personal about the Silent Abuse of Domestic Violence: Emotional and Spiritual Abuse
While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.
Religious Power and Control: Threats, Accusations, and Intimidation
Threats, accusations, and intimidation are tactics used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
Religious Power and Control: Spiritual Abuse
Spiritual abuse is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
My Church Leaders Were Abusive: Should I share my story publicly with Christian media? Is there something I can do that will affect positive change?
. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.
We Now See the Fruit of Doug Wilson’s Teachings on Marital Sex: Personal Accounts of Marital Rape
Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.
Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed
My blog broke the story on two high-profile cases of clergy sexual misconduct. These are very difficult stories to report on, especially as I get to know the survivors and the ongoing emotional and spiritual trauma they endured with these highly influential church leaders. One common misconception I see repeatedly debated in comments on news… Continue reading Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed
To Mark Gungor: There is Nothing Inspiring about using “Humor” to Publicly Degrade Women; and Please Do Better on Sex Abuse Cases
There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.
Julie Anne Smith Interviewed on Almost Heretical Podcast: Spiritual and Sexual Abuse
Nate is the first person to interview me specifically about the Ravi Zacharias sex abuse scandal and ask me why I thought it took so long for the collective church to "get it."
How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech
Ok, popping in here for a quickie post for discussion. Notice this dude is a Master's Seminary Alum. This does not surprise me with the kind of pompous attitudes I have witnessed and encountered from John MacArthur's camp. Case in point, Bill Shannon reached out to me during my lawsuit case. I'll never forget how… Continue reading How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech
The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity: Introducing Brian Sauvé
This power-over structure is harmful, demeaning, and depersonalizes women who were made in the Image of God.
The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity
"I’ve decided to document pastors and individuals who promote patriarchy here on my blog. I will post screenshots of their tweets or social media posts, and name them and their churches as a public record."
John Piper Questions Whether Wives Should Share Their Wisdom with Their Husbands
John Piper could have stopped with "I don't know" in his response to a listener about wife submission. Instead, he gives a round about answer which ultimately adds an extra emotional and spiritual toll on the wife.
A personal update from Julie Anne:
Today is my birthday. This morning I woke up happy, smiling, and very excited to be alive and well with a great home, a great job, and great family and friends. But I’d like to give you a window into what it was like this time last year. I was not well.
Religious Power and Control: Isolation
Isolation is one tactic used by abusive leaders and groups to maintain power and control over their members.
John Piper on Complementarianism and Abuse – #T4G20
What is up with John Piper's erratic response on Complementarianism and abuse?
Christian Music Artist and Pastor Steve Camp Puts God to the Test with #COVID-19
But the people who went to the church may or may not have been infected with the virus. Why was this necessary? Oh yea, it wasn’t.
Book Review Series – "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace – Chapter Twenty-One – Who Knew Sorrow and Grief Could be Sinful
This chapter is supposed to help a wife who is grieving over her husband's sinful actions. Interestingly, nothing specifically points to how a wife can manage her grief or sorrow.
The Latest from Greg Morse: Being a Nice Man Isn’t Enough
Greg Morse at Desiring God has a problem with nice guys.