Book Review Series: “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Lori Reveals Her Mindset

Lori Alexander, The Power of a Transformed Wife, Book Review, Gender Roles


transformed wife

Here we go!

-by Kathi

We have critiqued Lori Alexander’s blog posts as well as some of her commentors here at SSB. Now is the time to dive into her published book, The Power of a Transformed Wife (Publisher: Turning Page Books, September 30, 2016). I will be reading from the Kindle version of this book. Honestly, because it was cheaper and that means less of my hard-earned working money is going to Lori.

Lori first started writing at Always Learning. While she still posts on this blog, she is primarily writing at her new blog, The Transformed Wife.

I plan on covering a chapter at a time. There’s plenty of information in each chapter to give us good discussion. We’ll see how that goes. If I feel the need to break a chapter apart, I’ll make sure to let you know. Today we’ll look at the introduction and Chapter 1.

dedication

Introduction

Lori informs us that conflicts with her husband, Ken, started on their honeymoon. (Note: In Chapter 1 she tells us that conflicts started while they were dating.) She didn’t like that Ken ate crackers with fake cheese spread, and she would give him the silent treatment for not eating healthy. Really. She also did not like that Ken watched too much TV, was consumed with sports, and was always grumpy toward her.

When their kids came along, they focused all of their energy on the kids and not on each other. Lori notes that her awakening moment happened when Ken asked her what would become of their marriage when the kids left the house.

Then, miracle of miracles happened! Lori read Debi Pearl’s book, Created to Be His Helpmeet and her life was changed. She writes her book to be like Debi, to help young women who feel lost in their marriage.

My Life Growing Up

Lori starts off Chapter 1 saying that for 23 years she was a “neglectful wife.” She could always point blame at Ken, but most of their problems “resulted from the deep-seeded rebellion in my heart.” I think these two statements pretty much sum up this entire chapter.

Lori goes into great detail about her upbringing. I think the greater importance about this chapter is that it reveals much about her mindset. Based upon Lori’s experiences, I think she projects a lot on her blog and leaves little room to accept different ideas from women on how they live their life:

  • Lori’s mother complained to her about her dad when she was younger so she grew up not liking her dad. Lori often talks about not nagging your husband and not talking negatively about your husband. Lori states that her parents, now in their 80s, have a wonderful relationship, and you’re never too young to learn how to have a loving relationship.
  • Lori went to public school most of her childhood and was exposed to “filthy talk” and did not have any girlfriends. Lori promotes homeschooling and complains how public education teaches girls to be feminists.
  • Lori had a couple of boyfriends while in high school who “supposedly accepted Jesus into their hearts while we were dating.” Lori often questions women’s faith if they are not living according to God’s word — that is, Lori’s version of God’s word.
  • The dating advice that Lori received from her mother was to not have sex before marriage and to marry a Christian. Lori wishes she had more guidance about relationships and sex from her mother. Lori’s main purpose is “to help young wives not make the mistakes that I did.”
  • Lori went to college because her father wanted her to have an education so that she could find a job. All Lori ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. All women should only want to be a wife and mother.
  • Lori and Ken met in college and they argued a lot. When Ken asked her to marry him she said, “yes,” but was not excited. She says, “I knew I loved him even though I didn’t necessarily enjoy him.” Ouch!
  • When her first child was 4 months old, Lori went back to work. Lori describes this as a very painful time and she felt like she wasn’t being a good mother, wife, or teacher. Lori is continually stating that working mothers cannot possibly be good mothers because they are not home raising their children.
  • Lori has dealt with major illnesses, including two brain operations for tumors.
  • When Lori read Debi Pearl’s book, she realized she needed to do her part to make her marriage work. She credits Pearl’s book for helping her “develop confidence in my role as a Godly wife,” and I would guess that Lori would like to hear this said of her. Lori is constantly telling women that they need to do their part to make their marriage work. When it comes to husbands, Lori tells women that they are “called to submit to him and respect him, not try to control him.”

Lori ends Chapter 1 with an old blog post in which Michael Pearl and Voddie Baucham teach their sons to marry a woman who wants to be a wife and a mother. Apparently Christian men should not marry a woman who wants to be like a man. What makes a woman be like a man? A woman who is loud, independent, strong, or career-minded.

Why? Because the Bible that say that women should:

1) Love and obey their husbands (Titus 2:4-5, Genesis 2:18),

2) Love their children and teach them (Titus 2:5, Proverbs 22:6),

3) Be pure, chaste, gentle, and quiet (Titus 2:5, I Peter 3:4),

4) Be keepers of home. This is her God placed ministry. (Titus 2:5), and

5) Be good – desiring to love home and husband. (Titus 2: 4-5)

Did you notice that there are only four verses listed in those points? Out of the entire Bible, these authors, including Lori, use four verses to tell women how they should live. I find that to be a great misunderstanding of scripture.

This brings us to the end of Chapter 1. I find this to be an eye-opening view into Lori’s mindset which helps bring some understanding into her writing and the advice that she gives women.

Trey Comments at “The Transformed Wife” About Working Women

Complementarianism, Gender Roles, The Transformed Wife

mind-the-gap

-by Kathi

In our last book post we talked about how God’s Design turns work into a men’s only club. This seems to be a big deal among the comp crowd.

Trey posted a comment again at The Transformed Wife giving his two cents worth about why women shouldn’t be in the work place. To me, it’s only worth two cents. Continue reading

Review of Children’s Book “God’s Design” – Get to Work! and Is This the End?

Complementarianism, God’s Design, Gender roles

Owen sitting on book.jpg

The Watch Dog may not be a sheep dog, but he’s fluffy like a sheep.

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the underlined subtitles below are chapters from the book.

This is a very sad day, children. This is our last day to talk about God’s Design. I know, I know….we’ll get through this together. Today, we will talk about work and summarizing everything we’ve learned. Continue reading

Review of Children’s Book “God’s Design” – The Church and Learning About Things We Already Know

Complementarianism, Women in the Church, Gender Roles, Proper Church and Family Roles

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-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the underlined subtitles below are chapters from the book.

Today, children, we will talk about God’s design for the church and how to learn God’s ways (as if this hasn’t already been said enough). Continue reading

Review of Children’s Book “God’s Design” – Married/Single; Husband/ Father; Wife/Mother

Complementarian, Gender Roles, Being Married, Being Single, Desiring God’s Influence

married-couple

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the underlined subtitles below are chapters from the book.

Today, children, we will talk about marriage and singleness, husbands and fathers, and wives and mothers.  Continue reading

A Young Woman’s Personal Story: The Residual Effects of the Teachings by Doug Philips, Bill Gothard, and Patriarchy

Doug Phillips, Patriarchy, Vision Forum, Stay-at-home daughters, Courtship, Quiverfull, Bill Gothard


It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything about Doug Phillips, Vision Forum, Bill Gothard, or Patriarchy teachings. A young woman who identified as “Done Running” posted her personal story and it deserves its own post. Done Running describes the residual effects of patriarchal teachings by Doug Phillips. These ideologies (stay-at-home daughters, courtship, quiverfull teachings) leave women completely dependent on their fathers for their choice in marriage partners, schooling, work, etc. It is abusive, and in my opinion, a form of emotional, if not physical kidnapping.

Young women whose parents participate in these teachings/ideologies are not allowed to have independent thought, to make their own choices for their future. The plan is to have the father pass his baton of authority over to a man he selects as her future husband. A woman is always under the authority of a man, never to be free to think for herself. Her role in life is to bear children (as many as the Lord provides) and serve her husband.

~Julie Anne Continue reading

Church Member Responsibility and Church Discipline at Pastor Eric Davis’ Church

Church membership, church discipline, Pastor Eric Davis, Cornerstone Church


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Church Member Responsibility and Church Discipline According to the Cornerstone Church By-laws

mind-the-gap

-by Kathi

I recently wrote about how Julie Anne and I dared to comment on an article at The Cripplegate which subsequently caused our comments to be deleted and comments to be closed. Pastor Eric Davis provided an entirely too long explanation about how the discussion had run its course, more humbleness in being a part of God’s community was needed, and that there was too much focus on logistics. Let’s not forget that he provided the wonderful 16-point article challenging excuses for not going to church. But who’s focusing on logistics? Continue reading

Review of Children’s Book, “God’s Design” – Purity and Honoring God’s Design

God’s Design, Purity, Biblical Gender Roles, Complementarity

miraflores-statue

Embracing Couple, Miraflores, Peru

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the underlined subtitles below are chapters from the book.

Today, children, we will talk about purity and honoring. It had to be covered at some point, why not now? Continue reading

Review of Children’s Book, “God’s Design” -Examples of Godly Womanhood

Ruth, Mary, Sarah and Proverbs 31: Examples of Complementarian Women

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-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the underlined subtitles below are chapters from the book.

Today, young girls have the chance to learn what makes a godly woman. I know you all were thinking hard about who the examples might possibly be. Now’s the time to find out! Continue reading

Review of Children’s Book,”God’s Design” – Examples of Complementarian Manhood and More Doublespeak

Complementarian, Egalitarian, Teaching Children, Children Desiring God, John Piper


Paul & Jesus: Examples of Complementarian Manhood

boy-509488_1280

African boy – Image from Pixabay

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the underlined subtitles below are chapters from the book.

Today, boy children will learn about biblical complementarian manhood from two godly examples that were not even married. Girls, it would be wise for you to listen up, too, so you are aware of what husband material godly manhood looks like. Continue reading

Children’s Book “God’s Design” and its Teachings on Homosexuality as a Distortion of God’s Design

God’s Design, Homosexuality, Complementarianism, John Piper & Wayne Grudem’s Influence

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-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the titles below are chapters in the book.

This week children, we will talk about homosexuality. This topic may potentially become heated. I ask that discussion please be civil and hope that we can acknowledge that as fellow Christians (better yet, as fellow human beings), we recognize that we may come to different conclusions. I ask that in our discussion we always maintain that it is the person that God created that is most valued and not our ideas or theology. Continue reading

“God’s Design” – Rebellion, a.k.a. It’s All Her Fault!

God’s Design, Headship, Complementarianism, Biblical Gender Roles, The Fall

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Adam & Eve

Who started this whole mess?

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the titles below are chapters in the book.

Today, children, we are going to learn about how man and woman rebelled against God’s design. Spoiler alert!…We’ll talk about one more than the other. Continue reading

“God’s Design” – Headship, Helper, and an Answer We Already Knew

God’s Design, Headship, Complementarianism, Biblical Gender Roles

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Image: Pixabay

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the titles below (except for The Answer We Already Knew) are chapters in the book.

Today, children, we learn about God’s perfect design for man and woman. Oh, and remember how men and women are equal, but different? We’re totally equal. (sigh) Continue reading

“God’s Design” – Know Thyself, Creature

creation

God and Adam having a serious talk about who’s in charge.

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the titles below are chapters in the book.

Today we are gathering children around to discuss the first three chapters of God’s Design. Here we will learn that we have a creator and we are his creatures. Continue reading

Vaccinating Children with Complementarian: Series Introduction – Review of “God’s Design” Gender Role Book for Children

Complementarian, Egalitarian, Teaching Children, Children Desiring God, John Piper


Series Introduction

Vaccinating Children with Complementarianism

by Kathi

Owen God's Design

The SSB Watch Dog  gives “4 Paws Down” for this book.

I spent many years reading books to my children. Homeschooling families know all too well the importance of reading. However, I can say that I never read a book like this to my kids.

God’s Design is a children’s books which teaches about the importance of  gender roles.

Oh, yes. You read that correctly. Continue reading

How our Pastor’s Biblical Interpretation Can Affect Our Understanding of Scripture and God

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This is a very insightful statement from C.J. Mahaney.

 

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Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood 2016 Conference #CBMW16 Live Tweets and Complementarianism Cool-Aid

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Spiritual Abuse: What Was the Last Straw That Caused You to Leave Your Abusive Church?

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Will Anna Duggar be offered as the next live sacrifice to save the Duggar Family Brand? Scapegoating, “Spread Your Legs Theology” and the Modern Molech

Toward understanding the blame borne by wives in Duggar Family religion in the wake of Josh Duggar’s involvement in the Ashley Madison scandal

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