Book Review Series – Lori Alexander’s “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Ken Alexander has the Final Word

The Power of a Transformed Wife: Lori Alexander, Submission, Control, Godly Marriage

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Comment and response on The Transformed Wife, 2/13/18

-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews if you’d like to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8 – Part 1   Chapter 8 – Part 2    Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12   Chapter 13   Chapter 14   Chapter 15   Chapter 16   Chapter 17

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Chapter 18 – A Way to a Man’s Heart…

When I saw the title of this chapter, I thought it would be all about food and sex. Turns out it’s only about food and really could have been combined with the last chapter review. Lori has a simple approach to meal planning:

My approach to meal planning is to have a small repertoire of healthy and delicious “go-to” meals and repeat them frequently. Too often women are burdening themselves by continually making something new and different. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to preparing healthy meals.

Yawn… I get when you’re in the throws of babyhood, toddlerhood, and sports or activities that you might have a simplified meal system to get you through the crazy days. But to suggest that women have no need to expand their horizons and try something new is absurd. There are tons of websites to find quick, easy, and cheap meals that are healthy so that food doesn’t become dull and boring. Food should be enjoyed; so try new things! Or, how about seeing if your husband might like to cook a day or two to help out. I know…crazy thought!

Speaking of websites, Lori suggests people check out her old blog, Always Learning, to find more recipes. Which leads me to wonder why she started a brand new website titled after this book and has to direct people to her old blog to find recipes. Why didn’t she move everything from her old site to her new site so that it is streamlined in one place?

Chapter 19 – The Power to Become a Transformed Wife

We are at the very last chapter! Will we finally know the definition of what makes a “transformed wife?” Oh, we ask far too much I’m afraid.

Lori spends half the chapter talking about her “transformation” and how much we should focus on Jesus – which is ironic given that she has stated on her blog that Jesus’ teachings do not seem to be as important as Paul’s. It is also ironic given her lack of compassion, kindness, grace, and mercy seen in her blog posts and comments given to readers.

Lori exhorts her readers to put their lives in the hands of God:

If you will get your thinking right in this area of your life, when your husband says something unkind or treats you poorly, your mind will go to what you’ve practiced. Instead of just biting your tongue, staying silent, and calmly moving onto the next subject, focus on having the right heart. It’s much easier to do the things we are called to do when we allow Jesus to be at the forefront of our hearts and minds. When Jesus is behind our actions and decisions, a true and lasting impact can be made.

This is why I included the image at the beginning of the post. Lori thinks that a wife needs to endure unkindness and poor treatment from her husband because Jesus calls her to endure them as a “transformed wife.” There is absolutely nowhere in scripture where Jesus calls a wife to endure unkind and poor treatment, or mean, unreasonable and cruel suffering. Lori needs to stop this teaching now. It is not biblical in any way, shape, or form.

The last half of the chapter is dedicated to Ken having the final word. At this point I want to feel sorry for Lori because Ken is a jerk.

Ken starts with a look back to where they started out in their marriage (remember, neither really liked or loved each other when they got married):

Years of arguing and being told I needed to do things her way had taken such a toll on me that even her smallest requests or pithy comments could set off my frustrations with her.

Lori: “Do you want salad tonight?”

Me: “There you go again, trying to feed me rabbit food…”

Lori: “I was just asking if you want a salad or not.”

It’s ironic that for the past ten years or so I have mainly eaten huge salads with roasted chicken on top five to six nights a week. … The problem, however, was never with the salad itself, but with her desire to control so many areas of my life.

Remember last chapter….lots of salad! And, so much for the small rotation of meal ideas. Anyway, Ken lashed out at Lori because she has control issues. I can understand that. It would be frustrating to deal with a partner who is trying to control every aspect of your life. Pssttt….Ken, she still has control issues!

However, when Lori “transformed,” things became different for Ken:

There’s no greater sense of relief and peace than knowing that no matter what I do or say, my Transformed Wife will be at peace. Lori may not like it, and she may even say something about it, but she will deal with me in a graceful, loving, and respectful manner, honoring me as the one God gave to be her husband.

Let me get this straight. Lori’s transformation benefits Ken because that means he can do and say whatever he wants now because Lori will put up with it? Respectfully, Ken, you sound like a jerk.

Ken then goes on to say how Lori changed after she read Debi Pearl’s book, Created to Be His Help Meet. There they go again, plugging the Pearls wherever they can. Lori decided that she was not going to argue with Ken anymore. So, Ken tested her and tried to bait her on arguing with him. This sounds petty and childish. They did not have a healthy relationship going into marriage and I wonder if they have a healthy relationship today.

I’ll end out this final post with final words from Ken:

We both had lots to work on, but we’ve had fun doing it together. Instead of defending our rights, we invited each other to call out sin wherever we saw it in our home, but we did this in such a way that it fit with God’s design of me as the respected leader and Lori as my cheerful and submissive follower.

Practically, I would like to know how it works for the submissive follower to call out sin on the respected leader. This is quite the power differential and I don’t see it working out so well for the follower.

I would guess that Ken is fully aware that when it comes to The Transformed Wife, it’s all about Lori. That is, until he needs to ride in to save the day.

Thank you for persevering through this book review series with me. You have offered great thoughts to Lori’s teachings. I appreciate you all. I know some have offered book suggestions for another series, but I neglected to note them. Let me know if you have another amazing book that I can review on here. Yes, I am a glutton for punishment.

 

 

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Stuffing Feelings and Pretending to Be Joyful

The Power of a Transformed Wife: Lori Alexander, Trusting God, Emotions

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-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews if you’d like to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8 – Part 1   Chapter 8 – Part 2    Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12   Chapter 13   Chapter 14

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Chapter 15 – The Disciplined Mind: Trusting God & Doing Good

I must admit, it is getting more difficult to read through The Power of a Transformed Wife and garner up the motivation required to continue writing these reviews. I guess I need to trust God to get me through.

This entire chapter can be summed up with the following: 1) Life sucks, 2) Trust God, 3) Think good thoughts, and 4) Do good. Well, this is all fine and dandy if you’re not in an abusive relationship, dealing with anxiety or depression, dealing with a looming financial crisis, or experiencing a chronic medical condition – all of which Lori’s readers have commented on her blog or Facebook page. But, wait! Lori does deal with chronic pain, so what is her answer? Continue reading

Lori Alexander Refuses to Talk About Abuse

Lori Alexander, Domestic Violence, Biblical Submission

Lori Alexander, domestic violence, abuse

Images used on The Transformed Wife blog posts. Left: “Married to Angry Men” on 9/9/17. Right: “Too Many Angry Wives” on 7/20/17

-by Kathi

There is nothing new under Lori Alexander’s sun. She still writes about submission, and I’m sure she always will. Every once in a while she will write a post that gives us an extra glimpse about how her teachings may keep women in abusive relationships. In “Sweating Bullets While Teaching Submission,” Lori tells us why she does not write about abuse.

Lori will write about submission and never mentions abuse because:

If you read other biblical marriage blogs, you will see that most of them have warnings all over them about abuse and what submission doesn’t mean. If you notice, my blog doesn’t have this. I have written many posts about submission and never even mentioned the word abuse on most of them. I do this purposefully because abuse and submission don’t go together as many today try to do by twisting and perverting the beauty of submission. (Yes,  I have a post on my side bar for those who are in marital crisis but it has nothing whatsoever to do with submission since even wives who aren’t submissive are physically abused.)

On purpose, Lori will not discuss abuse because she believes that “biblical submission” is not abusive. Continue reading

Book Review Series – Lori Alexander’s “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Repeat Five Times: Yoga Pants Are Not Modest!

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Modesty

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The only thing anyone should be lusting over is being able to do that fantastic yoga pose. Oh, how I would love to be that flexible!

-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews if you’d like to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8 – Part 1   Chapter 8 – Part 2    Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12


Chapter 13 – How are You Dressing?

We have finally come to the chapter in which women are temptresses in their yoga pants and swimsuits. Yes, I admit to having read some of this chapter whilst wearing tight-fitting exercise pants. In order to not offend some readers, I shall wear loose-fitted pajama pants while writing this out.

Let’s start with the very first paragraph: Continue reading

Book Review Series – Lori Alexander’s “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – The Chapter that Doesn’t Belong

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Dating, Sexual Purity

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Book Review Series – Lori Alexander’s “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Birth Control and a “Funny Story”

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Birth Control, Submission

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Book Review Series – Lori Alexander’s “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Parents Rule, Children Drool

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Child Training, Submission

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Lori Alexander Dishes Out Heartless Advice to Wife Who Was Sexually Abused

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Book Review Series – Lori Alexander’s “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Shhhh…Be Very, Very Quiet

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Submission


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-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7


Chapter 8 – Part 1 – Win Him Without a Word

Due to the length and so much wrong happening, this chapter will be broken into two parts. Remember how the last chapter ended questioning whether or not wives didn’t have any words because they were too busy having sex? Oh, there’s so much more to winning over your husband.

Lori (ever so humbly) reminds readers again that she helps women who come to her complaining about their husbands. Lori’s “prescription” to winning over a husband is:

You can win him without a word by your grace-filled, godly behavior because a woman’s most potent voice is not the words that she speaks but the life she lives in front of her husband and children. This approach is reminiscent of the saying, ‘Preach the gospel at all times, and, if necessary, use words.’

Continue reading

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Wives Give Sex. All the Time.

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Sex in Marriage, Submission


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Screenshot from The Transformed Wife Facebook Page – 6/15/17

-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6

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Chapter 7 – This Thing Called Sex

Oh, goody…the sex chapter! Before I started reading this chapter I thought to myself: “Self, I wonder what wise words Lori will give women about sex? Let me guess…It will be about how husbands want sex all the time, and how wives are to give it to them anytime.”

Lori’s opening sentence:

Men like sex…a lot.

Oh, self, I am not disappointed in you. P.S. Lori, women like sex…a lot…too! Continue reading

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Don’t Argue. It’s That Easy.

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Marriage, Submission


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-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5

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Chapter 6 – Easy Conflict Resolution Continue reading

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Lori’s All About Submission and Ken’s All About Control

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Control, Submission


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-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4

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Chapter 5 – What Submission Looks Like Continue reading

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Lori Has a Habit of Contradicting Herself

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Control, Submission


-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3

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“Trey’s” review of The Power of a Transformed Wife on Amazon

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Chapter 4 – Allow Him to Lead

I have been warned about the poor editing job of this book. It is starting to show in this chapter. Lori jumps around from topic to topic which starts to make this book seem more like a mismatch of ideas. The reality is, there are no new ideas from Lori in this book. You can read either of her blogs, or Debi Pearl’s book, and find the same ideas. That being said, I’ll try to keep to the main points and not drag you through the rabbit trail. Continue reading

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – It’s All About Who’s in Control

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Control, Submission


This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2

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Debi Pearl thinks Lori’s book gives “hope.” However, it seems that even she could not read through all of it.

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Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Why Lori Does What She Does

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Mentoring, Titus 2


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It doesn’t matter if a woman works outside the home or stays home and raises children. She will always have to juggle time.

-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1

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Book Review Series: “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Lori Reveals Her Mindset

Lori Alexander, The Power of a Transformed Wife, Book Review, Gender Roles

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