Today is my birthday. This morning I woke up happy, smiling, and very excited to be alive and well with a great home, a great job, and great family and friends. But I’d like to give you a window into what it was like this time last year. I was not well.
...Yet into the third decade of our marriage, he chose to call me by a name I despised, yet forgot my given name. Or did he really forget?
Next time you meet a divorced survivor, look in her eyes with kindness and ask yourself how bad it had to be to risk all she did.
If church leaders are counseling abused spouses to go back to their abusive partners because they don't meet the church-approved "divorce criteria," they are contributing to the abuse by placing survivors in harm's way.
I can't imagine the level of psychological trauma, pain & horror as Joshua (and Shannon) began to discover a lot of their framework for their life was built on religion & false fears & manipulated, pseudo acts of "love."
"Many people tell me that there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I’m not there now."
But it makes me once again question those ideologies that led up to this point. It makes me think about spiritual abuse. It makes me think about Patriarchy. What significant changes were made in their journey? What ideologies did each one keep, and each one ditch?
“Myself and RC Jr’s other adult children are estranged from him. We do not support this book or his return to public ministry.”
It's been a while since I have posted about Saeed Abedini or his ex-wife, Naghmeh. Naghmeh Panahi posted a public note on Facebook yesterday. You may recall that after Saeed Abedini was released from prison in Iran, Naghmeh filed for separation because Saeed would not get help for his abusive behavior in the marriage. Saeed… Continue reading Naghmeh Panahi, Ex-Wife of Former Iranian Prisoner, “Pastor” Saeed Abedini, Posts Public Statement on Facebook
Tony Jones, Emergent, THE NEW CHRISTIANS: DISPATCHES FROM THE EMERGENT FRONTIER, Anniversary, Christian Industrial Complex *** October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month in the US, and so this article is timely. The last time I wrote about popular emergent leader, Tony Jones, was in 2015 in this article, A Spider Web of Emergent Leader… Continue reading Tony Jones Book Update, Christian Industrial Complex, and Domestic Violence
*** I ran across a post on Facebook that a friend wrote. Flo Fromer-Wedding posted about the spiritual tug-of-war process she went through while she was in an abusive marriage. Unfortunately, the church is often a volatile place for abused women to get help, especially when there is greater emphasis on the "covenant of marriage,"… Continue reading An Abusive Marriage, Well-Meaning Christians, and God’s Word
-by Kathi *** K.B. Davies frequently comments on Lori Alexander's Facebook page, The Transformed Wife. Lori allows his comments to stay and doesn't challenge them. Why Lori leaves comments from men like K.B. and Trey unchallenged is mind boggling. Personally, I would distance myself as far away as possible from someone who uses the Bible to… Continue reading K.B. Davies Says Domestic Violence is No Excuse for Divorce Even in Case of Death
-by Kathi Lori Alexander at The Transformed Wife continues to advocate that there is no room for divorce for a spouse experiencing physical abuse. A commentor at her post, For Those Considering Divorce - Stop!, speaks about her mother's best friend who would show up with bruises and black eyes. With valid reasoning she… Continue reading Lori Alexander, Advocate of Women Staying Married to Their Abusers
Paige Patterson, Domestic Violence, SBC, Divorce *** Over the weekend, an old recording of an interview from 2000 with Paige Patterson resurfaced, causing an uproar because of his response regarding domestic violence. Paige Patterson is a prominent Southern Baptist leader and president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (SWBTS). I have been familiar with this recording for several… Continue reading Analysis: Paige Patterson’s Teachings on Domestic Violence Keep Victims in Harm’s Way
Domestic violence, Church response, Rob Porter *** You may have heard in the news recently about Rob Porter who worked for President Trump in the White House. Porter recently resigned his position as White House Staff Secretary after allegations of domestic violence from his two ex-wives surfaced in the media. It was disheartening to hear… Continue reading A Personal Story and a Sad Conclusion When Pastors Failed to Respond Appropriately to Domestic Violence
*** I am posting a comment that came in on yesterday's post Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Stuffing Feelings and Pretending to Be Joyful by someone who used the name, Auislucky. Auislucky mentioned at the bottom of her comment that she didn't want me to post her comment if it would hurt someone.… Continue reading Trite, Unhelpful, and Demoralizing Responses to Wives in Harmful Marriages
Bethlehem Baptist Church, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Excommunication, Spiritual Abuse *** Over a year ago (November 1, 2016), I posted the article, 1-1/2 years Later, Bethlehem Baptist Church Doesn’t Seem to get Domestic Violence: A Personal Story. I have a followup to that article. For those who have never read the story, I will repost most of the… Continue reading Bethlehem Baptist Church Excommunicates Victim of Domestic Violence
Single Christians, Divorced Christians, Cross-Gender Relationships, Church Response *** A woman found SSB and sent me an e-mail about her situation. The e-mail is from a single/divorced woman and the friendship she has with the praise and worship leader at her church. She, too, is on the praise and worship team. This kind of situation… Continue reading Single (Divorced) Woman Asks About Her Friendship with a Married Man from Church
Domestic Violence, Church Response, Beliefs -by Kathi I am pausing our Sunday Gatherings for the rest of October. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and I would like to take this time to talk about how the church can effectively respond to domestic violence. The church can be incredibly helpful to victims of domestic… Continue reading Domestic Violence: A Call to the Church – Reevaluate Your Beliefs
Christian Marriage, divorce, domestic violence, abuse, marital counseling, extramarital affairs *** *** My friend, Valerie Jacobsen posted this statement on her Facebook page and I asked permission to share it. I found it powerful, and yet, so contrary to the way marriage is handled in the church - especially when abuse is involved. I'm sick… Continue reading “Taking marriage seriously” – what does that mean for a Christian?