ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Disturbing Trends, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, God's Design for the Family, It's All About the Image, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Legalism, Marriage, Modesty and Purity Teachings, Parenting, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Personal Stories, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, SURVIVOR STORIES, Women and the Church

What was it like in my Patriarchal home, you ask? Let’s discuss hymens.

When our eldest daughter was 13 and before she started her period, my then husband told me he did not want her to use tampons because it would break her hymen and it was important for her future husband to do so.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Authoritative Preaching, BGBC Lawsuit, Leaving the Church, Religious Power and Control, Shunning, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

How to Effectively Engage with Loved Ones Still Trapped in High-Controlling Churches

So, really, the bottom line is love. Love your friends/family who are stuck in their abusive church. Show them what love is, what joy is, what freedom is, what mundane is. Invite them to share a meal with you (their favorite meal). Be boring. Be you. Be kind, loving, and accepting. This is so attractive to someone in a high-controlling church.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, emotional abuse, Gender Roles, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

Julie Anne Gets Personal about the Silent Abuse of Domestic Violence: Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Bethlehem Baptist Church, John Piper, Religious Power and Control, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Women and the Church

Survivors of Bethlehem Baptist Church And Seminary share their personal stories on Twitter

So, in an effort to consolidate some of the personal stories, especially for those who would rather not wade through Twitter, I've compiled some important tweet threads here.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Bethlehem Baptist Church, Christian Media, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Failure to Report Crimes, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority

Should I trust Christian media outlets to share my deeply painful church abuse story? Here’s a follow-up article based on my years of covering spiritual abuse testimonies, including quite a few high-profile cases.

The key takeaway is this: anytime an abuser is given a platform, that space will never feel safe for survivors.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, BGBC Lawsuit, C.J. Mahaney, Chuck O'Neal, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Disturbing Trends, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, JULIE ANNE'S CASE, Mandatory Reporting, Mark Driscoll, Narcissistic Pastors, Ravi Zacharias, Recovery Process, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Bullies

My Church Leaders Were Abusive: Should I share my story publicly with Christian media? Is there something I can do that will affect positive change?

. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Biblical Manhood, Christian Marriage, Church Discipline Process, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, emotional abuse, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Misuse of Scripture, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

We Now See the Fruit of Doug Wilson’s Teachings on Marital Sex: Personal Accounts of Marital Rape

Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Meetings with the Pastor, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

To Mark Gungor: There is Nothing Inspiring about using “Humor” to Publicly Degrade Women; and Please Do Better on Sex Abuse Cases

There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.

Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, emotional abuse, It's All About the Image, Ravi Zacharias, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

Julie Anne Smith Interviewed on Almost Heretical Podcast: Spiritual and Sexual Abuse

Nate is the first person to interview me specifically about the Ravi Zacharias sex abuse scandal and ask me why I thought it took so long for the collective church to "get it."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

When “O Holy Night” Becomes a Nightmare to Someone Whose Faith Has Been Harmed

"This performance is so sincere and heartfelt, shows a high level of skill, and may be the very one you love best of all. I think it is just awful, the perfect expression of a particular culture that I used to think was just distasteful and now believe to be rotten to the core."

Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Misuse of Scripture, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority

Dissecting Victim (oops) Pastor Wes Feltner’s Public Statement

God has instituted qualifications for elders regardless if someone feels a certain calling. Wes Feltner's supposed calling does not override God's guideline for elders.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Doctrine as Idol, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Legalism, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

Spiritual Abuse: Black/White Thinking Can be Used to Harm and Control

In black/white churches, you have two choices: follow along with the pastor, or you are immediately castigated as someone who has made the wrong choice. If people know of your "bad" choice, you may be called a sinner or rebellious.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Courtship, Divorce, Doctrine as Idol, Homeschool Movement, Leaving the Church, Modesty and Purity Teachings, Narcissistic Pastors, Recovery Process, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit

SGM Survivor Speaks Out about Josh Harris

I can't imagine the level of psychological trauma, pain & horror as Joshua (and Shannon) began to discover a lot of their framework for their life was built on religion & false fears & manipulated, pseudo acts of "love."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, C.J. Mahaney, Christian Marriage, Courtship, Divorce, Doctrine as Idol, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Homeschool Movement, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Modesty and Purity Teachings, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Authority

My Thoughts: Josh Harris (I Kissed Dating Good-bye) and His Wife, Shannon, Announce Marital Separation

But it makes me once again question those ideologies that led up to this point. It makes me think about spiritual abuse. It makes me think about Patriarchy. What significant changes were made in their journey? What ideologies did each one keep, and each one ditch?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, SPIRITUAL SOUNDING BOARD

Washington Post Article on Investigative Bloggers and Advocates: Wartburg Watch, Spiritual Sounding Board, Ashley Easter, Jules Woodson, Kelly Haines, etc.

But what it means is that we are being taken seriously. I think that gives us a bit more credibility. When we reach out to church leaders and ask questions, they will know we mean business.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, ABUSERS & THEIR TACTICS, Addressing Abuse, Clergy Sex Abuse, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY

Spiritual Abuse: Is This Worth Dividing the Church Over?

Spiritual Abuse, Jonathan Hollingsworth This is the sixth and final blog post referencing an article by Jonathan Hollingsworth, What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Been Hurt by the Church. The article resonated with a lot of people, so I thought it might be a good idea to discuss these unhelpful statements one by one here,… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: Is This Worth Dividing the Church Over?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY

Good Friday, Notre Dame, and Resurrection

The spiritual abuse I experienced will only be a blip in my life's story, and it doesn't define who I am, just as Notre Dame's 2019 fire does not define it. Abuse is part of my story and has shaped me, and has produced life-changing fruit.