Husbands Who Don’t Spiritually Lead are a Problem

Dale Partridge, Complementarianism, Male Headship

-by Kathi

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The above post by Dale Partridge was shared on the SSB Facebook page a few days ago. Text reads:

Christian husbands, if another man is teaching your wife more about God than you are, you have a problem. It is not your pastor’s job to be your wife’s spiritual leader. It’s your job. Now, there is nothing wrong with your wife listening to a weekly sermon but there is something wrong if she’s turning to other men for guidance and shepherding that you should be providing. The passivity of Christian husbands in the church must stop. Talk to your wife about God. Initiate daily prayer. Lead a family devotion each morning. Read the scriptures together and answer her questions. We’ve become so comfortable outsourcing our biblical role to the Sunday pastor that we’ve forgotten the command God has given to his sons. #UltimateMarriage

Husbands are the spiritual leaders over their wives? If a husband is not the spiritual leader, he is the problem. The only positive thing I can say about this is that finally, for once, the wife is not the problem!

The issue I have with this is that nowhere in the Bible does it state that the husband is the spiritual leader over the wife. The author states at the end that we have “forgotten the command God has given to his sons.” What command? Where is this?

It’s okay for a wife to listen to a weekly sermon? Well, thank you very much. I’m not sure if he is being condescending about the wife listening to a sermon or to the husband for not preaching to his wife.

So what is a husband supposed to do? Initiate prayer, lead family devotions, read scripture with his wife, and answer his wife’s questions about scripture. My question here is: why can’t a wife do these things on her own?

Why can’t a wife read scripture on her own? Why can’t a wife lead family devotions? Why can’t a wife seek out the answers to her questions about the Bible? Why does a wife need a husband to initiate all these things on her behalf? If a single woman is able to read and study scripture on her own, is that ability lost as soon as she becomes married?

As you can see, this post leaves me with so many more questions than answers. I think it simply comes down to the fact that nowhere in the Bible is it stated that any person is to act in an intercessory role for someone to God. All men and women have full access to God. All men and women have access to the gifting of the Holy Spirit.

This is nothing more than extra-biblical nonsense that places a huge burden on the husband.

Galatians 3: 23-29:  Before the coming of this faith, we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian. So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith,for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

Tom Chantry: Update on His Molestation, Child Abuse, and Assault Charges; and Looking Back

Tom Chantry, Molestation, Child Abuse, and Assault Charges, ARBCA


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Back in his heyday, Pastor Tom Chantry was a highly respected commenter at Pyromaniacs blog hosted by various Calvinist dude-bros such as Phil Johnson, Dan Phillips, Frank Turk, et al. We know he has been on trial for child abuse, molestation, and assault charges.

Today, I looked to see if I could find some old comments of Tom Chantry’s on the Pyromaniacs blog. On Google’s first page after searching: Tom Chantry and Pyromaniacs, I came across one of Pyro’s blog posts entitled, Pornographic Divination. Sure enough, Tom responded in the second comment.

Let me tell you a bit about the brief Pyromaniacs post. In the post from August of 2011, Phil Johnson was writing about “preposterous claims, unhinged behavior, and spiritual quackery that are so prominent at the charismatic movement’s lunatic fringe.” He highlighted a creeper (my adjective) pastor, Mark Driscoll, and explained why Driscoll’s “unhinged behavior” is inappropriate, and then posted video of Driscoll. That is the extent of the blog post. Reader comments ensued.

Note how Phil Johnson warns his readers about the content of the video:

The video below features Mark Driscoll, claiming the Holy Spirit regularly gives him graphic visions showing acts of rape, fornicators in flagrante delicto, and sexual child molesters in the very act.

You can watch the video below. Key parts of the video are transcribed below (H/T Pyromaniacs blog post).

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Mark Driscoll: Some people actually see things. This may be gift of discernment. On occasion, I see things. I see things. Uh, like I was meeting with one person and they—they didn’t know this, but they were abused when they were a child. And I said, “When you were a child you were abused. This person did this to you, physically touched you this way.” 

Driscoll later claimed he could see detailed sexual scenes in his head:

. . . Some of you when you’re counseling you will see things. I mean you will, you will literally gift of discernment see things. I can’t explain it. It doesn’t happen all the time. 

. . . Sometimes your counselee, they will see things. Ye—eh—there’s pa— I found this with people—ok, now let me—I’m gonna ask the demon questions. You tell me what they say.” 

“They don’t say anything.” 

I say, “What do you hear?” 

And they say, “Nothing.” They say, “But I’m seeing stuff.” 

“Oh, oh, well tell me. What’s that?” 

“I’m seeing—you know when I was little my grandpa molested me. I didn’t know that.” 

I said, “Well, let’s not assume it’s true. Go ask your grandfather.” 

Grandpa says, “Yyyeah, when you were little I molested you.” Grandpa was assuming they’d be too young to remember. So he’d only molest grand kids up to a certain age. But they saw it. 

It’s the supernatural. It’s, it’s, it’s the whole other realm. It’s like the Matrix. You can take the blue pill, you take the red pill. You go into this whole other world. And, and, and that’s the way it works. 

So I say—tell me everything you hear, tell me everything you see. And sometimes I see things too. I see things too. I’ve seen women raped. I’ve seen children molested. I’ve seen people abused. I’ve seen people beaten. I’ve seen horrible things done. Horrible things done. I’ve seen children dedicated in occultic groups and demons come upon them as an infant by invitation. And I wasn’t present for any of it, but I’ve seen it visibly. 

. . . And there are some people that have real gift of discernment, and I’m not saying I’m a hundred percent always right with it, but some of you are going to have gift of discernment, and you need to—you need to learn to grow in the use of that gift. And sometimes people will hear things. Sometimes people will see things.


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Ok, that is the end of the Pyromaniacs post. Before we get to Tom Chantry’s comment, let me break quickly and catch you up to speed with Chantry’s most recent assault, molestation, and child abuse charges:

  • Thomas Chantry was arrested and jailed in December of 2016. 
  • Tom Chantry recently went to trial and was convicted of aggravated assault.
  • While awaiting sentencing on September 28th, 2018 for his crimes against children, Chantry was arrested again on multiple counts stemming from his time as an ARBCA Pastor at Miller Valley Baptist Church.
  • Chantry was arrested on a total of nine (9) charges. The counts break down as follows: four (4) counts of aggravated assault, four (4) counts of child molestation and one (1) count of child abuse.
  •  Tom Chantry is currently being held on a One Million Dollar Cash Bond. (Source: ARBCA.org)

 

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Here is the beginning of the comment section from Pyromaniacs’ blog post:

Tom Chantry sex abuse pedophile child abuser

 

 

Matt F said…

Hi Phil,
I’m curious then what you would think of Nathan’s conduct in 2 Samuel 12?
Thanks, Matt

1:51 AM, AUGUST 15, 2011

Tom Chantry said…

Matt F,

Please specify the verses in 2 Samuel 12 in which the Holy Spirit played a porno flick in Nathan’s mind in order to enable him to call out David.

When you’re through with that you can take us through the verses in which Nathan preached publicly on the details of David’s tryst with Bathsheba – including details of sexual positions – for the cough spiritual enlightenment of the people of Jerusalem.

When you’re through with that exegetical task, you can perhaps direct us to the public and written confessions of the alleged adulterers, rapists, molesters, and other brutes whom Driscoll’s prophetic gift has led to repentance. Look for something along the lines of Psalm 51.

See, anyone can claim to have a great prophetic story. I could, for instance, go into church next Sunday, relate a lustful dream I had when I was a teenager, and claim that people no one ever heard of had later confessed to doing everything in my dream. I’m sure the teenage boys in my congregation would get a kick out of it, but it wouldn’t prove a thing.

2:53 AM, AUGUST 15, 2011

Further down, is Pam’s comment:

Pam said…

God bless Phil for warning us and helping us to be on guard of such “teaching.” Thanks be to God for people like Tom Chantry who use their writing skills to help us. One would think there would be enough things in the Bible for a minister to teach than to tell others about their dreams and fantasies and have the nerve to tell us they came from God. How very tragic. Do not our hearts grieve for our churches today? How do these teachings from this Mark fellow honor Christ and help the sheep who do not have a Shepherd? Thanks, Phil.

3:28 AM, AUGUST 15, 2011

 

 

 

Maybe it’s just me, but seeing Tom nonchalantly responding to the commenter after he saw/heard Driscoll talk about physical abuse and child sex abuse (now knowing he has been convicted of similar crimes), makes me sick. I hate abuse. Thank God he has now been exposed and can no longer hurt children. Ugh!

 

 

 


Related links from Todd Wilhelm who has done a stellar job following this case:

 

Does it matter to you that Ravi Zacharias has been a chronic liar for decades?

Ravi Zacharias, Lies, Deception, RZIM, Ravi Zacharias International Ministries


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I care about the truth. Does it bother me that the video below was produced by an atheist? You bet. I have spoken with Steve Baughman, the producer, at length a number of times. I understand his angst against Ravi. Steve is a life-long student of philosophy. So when he ran across Ravi’s name portrayed an academic scholar, using the title of Dr. in his books, website, etc., he expected Ravi to truly be an academic scholar. Think about it. Steve Baughman is a San Francisco attorney. He has put in the time and toil to achieve the necessary education and passed exams to become an attorney. Of course Steve Baughman would expect that someone whose sole ministry involves speaking and writing on philosophy and apologetics, would be above board. Guys . . . in his own ministry . . . which seeks donation$ . . . Ravi is telling you he knows the truth . . . . yet . . . . he’s been lying to us all for freakin’ decades!

Imagine Steve’s surprise and shock when he discovered Ravi Zacharias was a scam, and not only that, had millions of people influenced by his ministry. Where were the Christians who should have caught this? When confronted with this information, why do Christians blow Steve Baughman off? Just because he’s an atheist? Give me a break.

Truth is truth. It shouldn’t matter the source. We all have a responsibility to seek truth and test it. Don’t blow off something when you’ve been given compelling evidence. Check it out for yourself. Ravi Zacharias may been influential in your Christian faith – but has he been telling you the truth about himself? If he hasn’t, why are you following him?  The sad thing is that if he has lied about himself, could he be lying about other ideas he has taught? That is why he needs to step down. When someone lies . . lies for decades . . . it is too confusing to tell what is now truth. This is not a person who should be in public ministry.

Those of you who have followed Ravi Zacharias, does it matter to you that he has been a chronic liar for decades?

Isn’t lying one of the sins God hates the most? Hmm . . .

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Lori Alexander: Children Should Visit Their Incarcerated Molesting Fathers

Lori Alexander, Child Sex Abuse, Spiritual Abuse

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-by Kathi

We’ve seen the type of advice Lori Alexander gives to wives experiencing domestic abuse. Just when you think she couldn’t stoop lower, she addresses children visiting their incarcerated fathers who sexually abused them.

It all starts when she defends Michael and Debi Pearl’s teachings which leads to a teachable moment for the child.

 

It is disgusting that Lori finds it acceptable for a child (and the mother for that matter) to visit the perpetrator of their abuse. All in the name of Jesus. I don’t care if it is the child’s father, a child should never be forced to face their abuser as it adds more trauma.

How exactly is a child shown God’s grace and forgiveness when going to visit an “evil father?” Is the mother supposed to do a Bible study and prayer with the child to prepare them to learn forgiveness and grace? Technically, in Lori’s world, that should be the father’s responsibility, but in this case he is “evil,” so I’m assuming that responsibility is on the mother. All it is showing the child is that God (and Lori) cares more for the abuser than the victim.

Of course, if you’re looking for these comments on her Facebook page, you won’t find them. They’re gone. Poof!

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Special thanks to my fellow Facebook friend for catching these screen shots before they disappeared!

 

Classical Conversations #7: Business or a Non-Profit; Cult or a Christian Homeschool Group?

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NOTE: This is part of a series that began with these earlier posts:

 


Note from Julie Anne:  Here is another personal account that came in as a comment, but I felt it needed to be a post by itself. In this account, there is discussion about Classical Conversations functions in cult-like ways. Classical Conversations is so big that there are probably many groups that do not function as a cult, but it’s important to note the characteristics of controlling behavior which is the bedrock in cults.

Off the top of my head, here are some of the typical behaviors we see in high-controlling or cult-like groups:

  • The group is the best and only acceptable group. All others are inferior.
  • No other group measures up (educationally, Christian, etc).
  • Members lose a sense of identity as they give more and more of their time to the group.
  • No negative talk about the group is allowed. 
  • There are repercussions on anyone who challenges, criticizes, or talks negatively about the group.
  • Those who leave the group are shunned.
  • Those who leave are labeled as sinners, evil, anything negative.
  • Image is very important to the group. Defend the image at all costs.
  • Lack of clear rules and boundaries. 
  • Group leaders change rules frequently, which leads to confusion.

 


 

"Classical Conversations" "spiritual sounding board"

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by Adele Jane

I have been a CC parent for many years. It initially blessed us because as a parent, I could say “no” to things that weren’t working for us. I was aware of the constant edicts and rule changes from Corporate because the tutors were always having to jump through ridiculous hoops. The company is notoriously anti-technology, as evidenced by their own disorganized and unreliable web site. Also, many moms felt like money was a primary motivator. They charged money for everything: expensive tuition and fees, made all their own texts mandatory and expensive, and then charged a monthly fee to look at resources created and donated by other moms!

But our local community was pleasant and close knit, so we tolerated it, like proverbial frogs in the pot, we were growing dependent on the materials. They constantly said we were the teachers, but went out of their way to make us believe we needed CC to do it, to “trust the system,” to follow the plan the way they said. We had no local say, not even what ages our kids could stop and start various levels! They made the rules.

Everything began to change for us as I stepped up to tutor and later Direct, mainly to offset the cost. The corporate overreach was insane. They literally took over my life and every aspect of my classroom. They dominated my free time with mandatory trainings and other requirements.

All questioning was labelled as sinful or rebellious, and I was made to feel that theirs is the only way. Students who cant keep up are inadequate, all the while spouting this “knowing God and making Him known” motto that does NOT play out on the corporate level. They are all about Jesus when its convenient.

Anyone who asks about these things on their forum or social media is deleted or blocked. Sometimes they use it as grounds for termination. No free speech, even on your own time.

They place multiple layers of “management” between local and corporate, puppets who have lied to us, made us sign contracts that are filled with overreach (thankfully my lawyer was clear about all the items that were so outside labor standards, that they were not only unenforceable, but likely voided the contract), and were cruel to us when we stood our ground.

They have terminated numerous directors in my area for bogus reasons not in the contract. They dictate exactly what you can say, when and how you can say it, but continue to call us independent contractors, and they run their profit-making enterprise from churches who assume they are a non-profit homeschool co-op.

I admit it wasn’t until they pressed me to do “fund raising” for a local training that I even realized they weren’t non-profit. Of course the businesses we approached laughed in our face. “Donate” money to another business just because they present themselves as homeschoolers and Christians? It was laughable I guess.

I feel this organization uses Christian families for gain, and hides behind Christ while they line their pockets. I also feel they run in a cult-like manner, slowly brainwashing families into seeing what isn’t there. My local group is great, but not really worth giving up my freedom that we homeschoolers are so blessed to have.

John Piper – God Purposely Plans Our Pain

Desiring God, John Piper, Discipline, Hurt and Pain

 

Screenshot 2018-08-24 at 6.34.59 PM

-by Kathi

Desiring God recently tweeted an article from 1997.

Broader context of the tweet:

It says that God is disciplining us; he is teaching us and correcting us and transforming us. In other words, God has a purpose and a design in what is happening to us. God is the ultimate doer here. Verse 6 goes so far as to say, “[God] scourges every son whom he receives.” Who is scourging? Who is whipping? (See Hebrews 11:36). God is. God is not a passive observer in our lives while sinners and Satan beat us up. He rules over sinners and Satan, and they unwittingly, and with no less fault or guilt, fulfill his wise and loving purposes of discipline in our lives.

God uses sinners and Satan as part of his purpose to cause us pain?

God plans the hurt in our lives?

Thoughts?

 

Woman Feels Spiritually Trapped after Having Grown up in a Conservative Reformed Christian Homeschool Family

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An Abusive Marriage, Well-Meaning Christians, and God’s Word

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I ran across a post on Facebook that a friend wrote. Flo Fromer-Wedding posted about the spiritual tug-of-war process she went through while she was in an abusive marriage.  Unfortunately, the church is often a volatile place for abused women to get help, especially when there is greater emphasis on the “covenant of marriage,” than the emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being of individuals in the marriage. Continue reading

Biblical Counseling and Domestic Abuse

Biblical Counseling, Domestic Abuse, Victim Safety, Heath Lambert

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-by Kathi

The Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC) will be holding their annual meeting this fall addressing Biblical counseling and abuse. Leading up to this event I thought it might be a good idea to look at how Biblical counseling addresses domestic abuse. Continue reading

Feminism: Is it a rebellion against God?

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I’m just going to plop this video link into this post and see what happens. It’s only 2 minutes, 36 seconds. That’s it. Below is my attempt at transcribing someone speaking off the cuff (a little challenging on the punctuation, just sayin’).  ~ja Continue reading

Tedd Tripp and Tom Chantry: Shepherding a Child’s Heart … or Not

Tedd Tripp, Tom Chantry, Failure to Report, Mandatory Reporter, Spanking, Shepherding a Child’s Heart


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tedd tripp, failure to report, mandatory reporter, spanking, Tom Chantry

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In the late 1990s, I attended a parenting seminar by Tedd Tripp. It may or may not be significant to note that the seminar was held at a Sovereign Grace Ministries church in Chesapeake, Virginia. Continue reading

Bill Hybels, the Willow Creek “System,” and Why the Women Needed to Speak Publicly

Bill Hybels, Clergy Sexual Misconduct, Willow Creek Church


Bill Hybels, Willow Creek, Clergy Sexual Misconduct

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Rachel, Victim of Clergy Sexual Misconduct by Tullian Tchividjian, Speaks Out about Fortress Press Book Deal and Lack of Repentence

Tullian Tchividjian, Clergy Sexual Misconduct, Fortress Press, Rachel, Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church


Tullian Tchividjian, Clergy Sex Abuse, scandal, spiritual abuse

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Classical Conversations #4: A CC Veteran Gives Advice to New People Considering Classical Conversations

Classical Conversations, High-Controlling Groups, Deleted Comments, Blocked Commenters, Noble Gibbens, Leigh Bortins


delete comments, block people on Facebook, no-talk rule

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