When we start marketing the stories of survivors for personal gain, we are no longer supporting survivors, we are exploiting them.
Economic control is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.
". . . there was an intentional agenda. And we were forced to be on this bait-and-switch ride as we sat front and center in our lawn chairs."
Threats, accusations, and intimidation are tactics used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
So, in an effort to consolidate some of the personal stories, especially for those who would rather not wade through Twitter, I've compiled some important tweet threads here.
Spiritual abuse is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
The key takeaway is this: anytime an abuser is given a platform, that space will never feel safe for survivors.
. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.
Could the real reason for this podcast be that ACBC counselors are finding something useful from an outside source when talking to victims of domestic violence?
Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.
My blog broke the story on two high-profile cases of clergy sexual misconduct. These are very difficult stories to report on, especially as I get to know the survivors and the ongoing emotional and spiritual trauma they endured with these highly influential church leaders. One common misconception I see repeatedly debated in comments on news… Continue reading Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed
There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.
Nate is the first person to interview me specifically about the Ravi Zacharias sex abuse scandal and ask me why I thought it took so long for the collective church to "get it."
"Am I the only one bothered by the use of “failure” language in the rush of mea culpas that we now see bursting from the bowels of evangelical Christianity as Ravi Zacharias’s empire goes the way of the Titanic?"
"Sometimes people in leadership have to do things that are unethical" - Ravi Zacharias
Ok, popping in here for a quickie post for discussion. Notice this dude is a Master's Seminary Alum. This does not surprise me with the kind of pompous attitudes I have witnessed and encountered from John MacArthur's camp. Case in point, Bill Shannon reached out to me during my lawsuit case. I'll never forget how… Continue reading How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech
I pulled over to take a picture of the beautiful hoarfrost in College Place, WA. Wow - it's been pretty quiet around here, if you haven't noticed.The reality: Kathi and JA are a bit tired and overwhelmed with life at the moment, so we are taking a blog sabbatical, without apologies. Life has been challenging… Continue reading Where are Kathi and Julie Anne?
Redeeming Power by trauma psychologist Diane Langberg is the best book I’ve seen that introduces, equips, and challenges Christian leaders to deal with systemic abuse and historic oppression. Buy it, savor it, share it! ~brad/futuristguy I have survived multiple situations of spiritual abuse by people in positions of power in churches, ministries, and non-profits—starting from… Continue reading Redeeming Power / Diane Langberg–The Book I’ve Waited for, for 45 Years! Guest Review by Brad/Futuristguy
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This post lists several resources for churches and pastors to use when thinking about responding to domestic abuse.