While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This post lists several resources for churches and pastors to use when thinking about responding to domestic abuse.
"I’ve decided to document pastors and individuals who promote patriarchy here on my blog. I will post screenshots of their tweets or social media posts, and name them and their churches as a public record."
What is up with John Piper's erratic response on Complementarianism and abuse?
Wives, please don't hold on to the destructive teaching that God has a purpose and plan for abuse that happens to you.
It's time for Focus on the Family to start acknowledging abuse happens in Christian marriages.
Next time you meet a divorced survivor, look in her eyes with kindness and ask yourself how bad it had to be to risk all she did.
How does a Christian wife respond to her husband's evil behavior? This orderly list provides more harm than help.
Please preach and communicate as if one in three women listening in your audience are victims of domestic violence.
It’s obvious that in Peace’s world of submission, a husband can behave any way he likes without consequence; otherwise, options would be given to wives for how to deal with abusive behaviors.
Safety plans are helpful for victims/survivors at different points of time. Safety plans help victims/survivors to think through ways to stay safe while in a harmful situation or navigate after leaving an abusive relationship. One thing that I have learned from listening to people is that survivors always have to be on the offensive. It's… Continue reading Domestic Violence Awareness Month – Safety Planning
If church leaders are counseling abused spouses to go back to their abusive partners because they don't meet the church-approved "divorce criteria," they are contributing to the abuse by placing survivors in harm's way.
This is one practical way that a pastor can help a domestic violence victim - by providing a letter stating that she is needing time off work or a safety accommodation to deal with domestic violence-related issues.
"You may be thinking, "I'm willing to work at having a close relationship with my husband, but he is not." If he is unwilling to communicate or is cruel and yet you respond in a godly manner, you will be suffering for righteousness sake and God will meet your needs." ~Martha Peace
It's been a while since I have posted about Saeed Abedini or his ex-wife, Naghmeh. Naghmeh Panahi posted a public note on Facebook yesterday. You may recall that after Saeed Abedini was released from prison in Iran, Naghmeh filed for separation because Saeed would not get help for his abusive behavior in the marriage. Saeed… Continue reading Naghmeh Panahi, Ex-Wife of Former Iranian Prisoner, “Pastor” Saeed Abedini, Posts Public Statement on Facebook
*** I ran across a post on Facebook that a friend wrote. Flo Fromer-Wedding posted about the spiritual tug-of-war process she went through while she was in an abusive marriage. Unfortunately, the church is often a volatile place for abused women to get help, especially when there is greater emphasis on the "covenant of marriage,"… Continue reading An Abusive Marriage, Well-Meaning Christians, and God’s Word
-by Kathi *** K.B. Davies frequently comments on Lori Alexander's Facebook page, The Transformed Wife. Lori allows his comments to stay and doesn't challenge them. Why Lori leaves comments from men like K.B. and Trey unchallenged is mind boggling. Personally, I would distance myself as far away as possible from someone who uses the Bible to… Continue reading K.B. Davies Says Domestic Violence is No Excuse for Divorce Even in Case of Death
-by Kathi Lori Alexander at The Transformed Wife continues to advocate that there is no room for divorce for a spouse experiencing physical abuse. A commentor at her post, For Those Considering Divorce - Stop!, speaks about her mother's best friend who would show up with bruises and black eyes. With valid reasoning she… Continue reading Lori Alexander, Advocate of Women Staying Married to Their Abusers
Paige Patterson, Domestic Violence, SBC, Divorce *** Over the weekend, an old recording of an interview from 2000 with Paige Patterson resurfaced, causing an uproar because of his response regarding domestic violence. Paige Patterson is a prominent Southern Baptist leader and president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (SWBTS). I have been familiar with this recording for several… Continue reading Analysis: Paige Patterson’s Teachings on Domestic Violence Keep Victims in Harm’s Way
Lori Alexander, John Piper, Christian Marriage, Divorce -By Kathi It is no surprise that Lori Alexander at The Transformed Wife is pushing John Piper's words on marriage and divorce. Lori continues to show that there is no room for divorce when a woman is in an abusive marriage. Women in abusive marriages who go to Lori… Continue reading God Loves Victims More Than Saving an Abusive Marriage