Wives, please don't hold on to the destructive teaching that God has a purpose and plan for abuse that happens to you.
It's time for Focus on the Family to start acknowledging abuse happens in Christian marriages.
Next time you meet a divorced survivor, look in her eyes with kindness and ask yourself how bad it had to be to risk all she did.
How does a Christian wife respond to her husband's evil behavior? This orderly list provides more harm than help.
Please preach and communicate as if one in three women listening in your audience are victims of domestic violence.
It’s obvious that in Peace’s world of submission, a husband can behave any way he likes without consequence; otherwise, options would be given to wives for how to deal with abusive behaviors.
Safety plans are helpful for victims/survivors at different points of time. Safety plans help victims/survivors to think through ways to stay safe while in a harmful situation or navigate after leaving an abusive relationship. One thing that I have learned from listening to people is that survivors always have to be on the offensive. It's… Continue reading Domestic Violence Awareness Month – Safety Planning
If church leaders are counseling abused spouses to go back to their abusive partners because they don't meet the church-approved "divorce criteria," they are contributing to the abuse by placing survivors in harm's way.
This is one practical way that a pastor can help a domestic violence victim - by providing a letter stating that she is needing time off work or a safety accommodation to deal with domestic violence-related issues.
"You may be thinking, "I'm willing to work at having a close relationship with my husband, but he is not." If he is unwilling to communicate or is cruel and yet you respond in a godly manner, you will be suffering for righteousness sake and God will meet your needs." ~Martha Peace
It's been a while since I have posted about Saeed Abedini or his ex-wife, Naghmeh. Naghmeh Panahi posted a public note on Facebook yesterday. You may recall that after Saeed Abedini was released from prison in Iran, Naghmeh filed for separation because Saeed would not get help for his abusive behavior in the marriage. Saeed… Continue reading Naghmeh Panahi, Ex-Wife of Former Iranian Prisoner, “Pastor” Saeed Abedini, Posts Public Statement on Facebook
*** I ran across a post on Facebook that a friend wrote. Flo Fromer-Wedding posted about the spiritual tug-of-war process she went through while she was in an abusive marriage. Unfortunately, the church is often a volatile place for abused women to get help, especially when there is greater emphasis on the "covenant of marriage,"… Continue reading An Abusive Marriage, Well-Meaning Christians, and God’s Word
-by Kathi *** K.B. Davies frequently comments on Lori Alexander's Facebook page, The Transformed Wife. Lori allows his comments to stay and doesn't challenge them. Why Lori leaves comments from men like K.B. and Trey unchallenged is mind boggling. Personally, I would distance myself as far away as possible from someone who uses the Bible to… Continue reading K.B. Davies Says Domestic Violence is No Excuse for Divorce Even in Case of Death
-by Kathi Lori Alexander at The Transformed Wife continues to advocate that there is no room for divorce for a spouse experiencing physical abuse. A commentor at her post, For Those Considering Divorce - Stop!, speaks about her mother's best friend who would show up with bruises and black eyes. With valid reasoning she… Continue reading Lori Alexander, Advocate of Women Staying Married to Their Abusers
Paige Patterson, Domestic Violence, SBC, Divorce *** Over the weekend, an old recording of an interview from 2000 with Paige Patterson resurfaced, causing an uproar because of his response regarding domestic violence. Paige Patterson is a prominent Southern Baptist leader and president of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (SWBTS). I have been familiar with this recording for several… Continue reading Analysis: Paige Patterson’s Teachings on Domestic Violence Keep Victims in Harm’s Way
Lori Alexander, John Piper, Christian Marriage, Divorce -By Kathi It is no surprise that Lori Alexander at The Transformed Wife is pushing John Piper's words on marriage and divorce. Lori continues to show that there is no room for divorce when a woman is in an abusive marriage. Women in abusive marriages who go to Lori… Continue reading God Loves Victims More Than Saving an Abusive Marriage
Domestic violence, Church response, Rob Porter *** You may have heard in the news recently about Rob Porter who worked for President Trump in the White House. Porter recently resigned his position as White House Staff Secretary after allegations of domestic violence from his two ex-wives surfaced in the media. It was disheartening to hear… Continue reading A Personal Story and a Sad Conclusion When Pastors Failed to Respond Appropriately to Domestic Violence
Mike Lawyer, Counseling, Abuse in Marriage, Abuse of Authority I have been in contact with a woman named Gen, who has agreed to let me post this letter she received from Mike Lawyer, "on behalf of Christ Church Session." Christ Church is Doug Wilson's church in Moscow, Idaho. If you would like to learn more… Continue reading BREAKING: Leaders at Doug Wilson’s Christ Church Put Woman in Abusive Marriage Under Church Discipline
Bethlehem Baptist Church, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Excommunication, Spiritual Abuse *** Over a year ago (November 1, 2016), I posted the article, 1-1/2 years Later, Bethlehem Baptist Church Doesn’t Seem to get Domestic Violence: A Personal Story. I have a followup to that article. For those who have never read the story, I will repost most of the… Continue reading Bethlehem Baptist Church Excommunicates Victim of Domestic Violence
Lori Alexander, Domestic Violence, Biblical Submission -by Kathi There is nothing new under Lori Alexander's sun. She still writes about submission, and I'm sure she always will. Every once in a while she will write a post that gives us an extra glimpse about how her teachings may keep women in abusive relationships. In "Sweating… Continue reading Lori Alexander Refuses to Talk About Abuse