So, really, the bottom line is love. Love your friends/family who are stuck in their abusive church. Show them what love is, what joy is, what freedom is, what mundane is. Invite them to share a meal with you (their favorite meal). Be boring. Be you. Be kind, loving, and accepting. This is so attractive to someone in a high-controlling church.
Category: Spiritual Authority
Julie Anne Gets Personal about the Silent Abuse of Domestic Violence: Emotional and Spiritual Abuse
While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.
Survivors of Bethlehem Baptist Church And Seminary share their personal stories on Twitter
So, in an effort to consolidate some of the personal stories, especially for those who would rather not wade through Twitter, I've compiled some important tweet threads here.
Religious Power and Control: Spiritual Abuse
Spiritual abuse is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
Should I trust Christian media outlets to share my deeply painful church abuse story? Here’s a follow-up article based on my years of covering spiritual abuse testimonies, including quite a few high-profile cases.
The key takeaway is this: anytime an abuser is given a platform, that space will never feel safe for survivors.
ACBC’s Consideration of the Duluth Model
Could the real reason for this podcast be that ACBC counselors are finding something useful from an outside source when talking to victims of domestic violence?
We Now See the Fruit of Doug Wilson’s Teachings on Marital Sex: Personal Accounts of Marital Rape
Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.
Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed
My blog broke the story on two high-profile cases of clergy sexual misconduct. These are very difficult stories to report on, especially as I get to know the survivors and the ongoing emotional and spiritual trauma they endured with these highly influential church leaders. One common misconception I see repeatedly debated in comments on news… Continue reading Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed
To Mark Gungor: There is Nothing Inspiring about using “Humor” to Publicly Degrade Women; and Please Do Better on Sex Abuse Cases
There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.
Former Seminary President “Deeply Shocked” by Ravi Zacharias’s Moral Relativism for Sinning Leaders
"Sometimes people in leadership have to do things that are unethical" - Ravi Zacharias
How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech
Ok, popping in here for a quickie post for discussion. Notice this dude is a Master's Seminary Alum. This does not surprise me with the kind of pompous attitudes I have witnessed and encountered from John MacArthur's camp. Case in point, Bill Shannon reached out to me during my lawsuit case. I'll never forget how… Continue reading How Pastor Steve Swartz uses Scripture to Elevate His Position as Pastor and His Response to an Abusive Marriage #Blech
Ravi Zacharias: Reports of Sexual Predation and Sexual Abuse at Health Spas
And now, Steve Baughman has uncovered more of the same . . . Ravi has a history of seeking sexual gratification for himself, using his position of power and trust to obtain those "favors." This is clergy sexual misconduct and spiritual abuse!
The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity: Introducing Brian Sauvé
This power-over structure is harmful, demeaning, and depersonalizes women who were made in the Image of God.
The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity
"I’ve decided to document pastors and individuals who promote patriarchy here on my blog. I will post screenshots of their tweets or social media posts, and name them and their churches as a public record."
John Piper Questions Whether Wives Should Share Their Wisdom with Their Husbands
John Piper could have stopped with "I don't know" in his response to a listener about wife submission. Instead, he gives a round about answer which ultimately adds an extra emotional and spiritual toll on the wife.
Religious Power and Control: Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming
Minimizing, denying, and blaming are tactics used by abusive leaders and groups to maintain power and control over their members.
Religious Power and Control: Isolation
Isolation is one tactic used by abusive leaders and groups to maintain power and control over their members.
Bill Hybels’ Mentor, Dr. Gilbert Bilezikian, Accused of Clergy Sexual Misconduct: A Personal Story
I’m writing to tell the story of my victimization by Dr. Gilbert Bilezikian, who was Bill Hybels’ professor and mentor, and was very influential in the development of Willow Creek Community Church. This is a story I take no pleasure in telling.
When “O Holy Night” Becomes a Nightmare to Someone Whose Faith Has Been Harmed
"This performance is so sincere and heartfelt, shows a high level of skill, and may be the very one you love best of all. I think it is just awful, the perfect expression of a particular culture that I used to think was just distasteful and now believe to be rotten to the core."
The Not so Simple Act of Forgiving and Forgetting
Forgiving may come with time, but should we really forget?
Spiritual Sounding Board 