Book Review Series – Lori Alexander’s “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Ken Alexander has the Final Word

The Power of a Transformed Wife: Lori Alexander, Submission, Control, Godly Marriage

MemeCenter_1518585648512_944

Comment and response on The Transformed Wife, 2/13/18

-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews if you’d like to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8 – Part 1   Chapter 8 – Part 2    Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12   Chapter 13   Chapter 14   Chapter 15   Chapter 16   Chapter 17

****

Chapter 18 – A Way to a Man’s Heart…

When I saw the title of this chapter, I thought it would be all about food and sex. Turns out it’s only about food and really could have been combined with the last chapter review. Lori has a simple approach to meal planning:

My approach to meal planning is to have a small repertoire of healthy and delicious “go-to” meals and repeat them frequently. Too often women are burdening themselves by continually making something new and different. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to preparing healthy meals.

Yawn… I get when you’re in the throws of babyhood, toddlerhood, and sports or activities that you might have a simplified meal system to get you through the crazy days. But to suggest that women have no need to expand their horizons and try something new is absurd. There are tons of websites to find quick, easy, and cheap meals that are healthy so that food doesn’t become dull and boring. Food should be enjoyed; so try new things! Or, how about seeing if your husband might like to cook a day or two to help out. I know…crazy thought!

Speaking of websites, Lori suggests people check out her old blog, Always Learning, to find more recipes. Which leads me to wonder why she started a brand new website titled after this book and has to direct people to her old blog to find recipes. Why didn’t she move everything from her old site to her new site so that it is streamlined in one place?

Chapter 19 – The Power to Become a Transformed Wife

We are at the very last chapter! Will we finally know the definition of what makes a “transformed wife?” Oh, we ask far too much I’m afraid.

Lori spends half the chapter talking about her “transformation” and how much we should focus on Jesus – which is ironic given that she has stated on her blog that Jesus’ teachings do not seem to be as important as Paul’s. It is also ironic given her lack of compassion, kindness, grace, and mercy seen in her blog posts and comments given to readers.

Lori exhorts her readers to put their lives in the hands of God:

If you will get your thinking right in this area of your life, when your husband says something unkind or treats you poorly, your mind will go to what you’ve practiced. Instead of just biting your tongue, staying silent, and calmly moving onto the next subject, focus on having the right heart. It’s much easier to do the things we are called to do when we allow Jesus to be at the forefront of our hearts and minds. When Jesus is behind our actions and decisions, a true and lasting impact can be made.

This is why I included the image at the beginning of the post. Lori thinks that a wife needs to endure unkindness and poor treatment from her husband because Jesus calls her to endure them as a “transformed wife.” There is absolutely nowhere in scripture where Jesus calls a wife to endure unkind and poor treatment, or mean, unreasonable and cruel suffering. Lori needs to stop this teaching now. It is not biblical in any way, shape, or form.

The last half of the chapter is dedicated to Ken having the final word. At this point I want to feel sorry for Lori because Ken is a jerk.

Ken starts with a look back to where they started out in their marriage (remember, neither really liked or loved each other when they got married):

Years of arguing and being told I needed to do things her way had taken such a toll on me that even her smallest requests or pithy comments could set off my frustrations with her.

Lori: “Do you want salad tonight?”

Me: “There you go again, trying to feed me rabbit food…”

Lori: “I was just asking if you want a salad or not.”

It’s ironic that for the past ten years or so I have mainly eaten huge salads with roasted chicken on top five to six nights a week. … The problem, however, was never with the salad itself, but with her desire to control so many areas of my life.

Remember last chapter….lots of salad! And, so much for the small rotation of meal ideas. Anyway, Ken lashed out at Lori because she has control issues. I can understand that. It would be frustrating to deal with a partner who is trying to control every aspect of your life. Pssttt….Ken, she still has control issues!

However, when Lori “transformed,” things became different for Ken:

There’s no greater sense of relief and peace than knowing that no matter what I do or say, my Transformed Wife will be at peace. Lori may not like it, and she may even say something about it, but she will deal with me in a graceful, loving, and respectful manner, honoring me as the one God gave to be her husband.

Let me get this straight. Lori’s transformation benefits Ken because that means he can do and say whatever he wants now because Lori will put up with it? Respectfully, Ken, you sound like a jerk.

Ken then goes on to say how Lori changed after she read Debi Pearl’s book, Created to Be His Help Meet. There they go again, plugging the Pearls wherever they can. Lori decided that she was not going to argue with Ken anymore. So, Ken tested her and tried to bait her on arguing with him. This sounds petty and childish. They did not have a healthy relationship going into marriage and I wonder if they have a healthy relationship today.

I’ll end out this final post with final words from Ken:

We both had lots to work on, but we’ve had fun doing it together. Instead of defending our rights, we invited each other to call out sin wherever we saw it in our home, but we did this in such a way that it fit with God’s design of me as the respected leader and Lori as my cheerful and submissive follower.

Practically, I would like to know how it works for the submissive follower to call out sin on the respected leader. This is quite the power differential and I don’t see it working out so well for the follower.

I would guess that Ken is fully aware that when it comes to The Transformed Wife, it’s all about Lori. That is, until he needs to ride in to save the day.

Thank you for persevering through this book review series with me. You have offered great thoughts to Lori’s teachings. I appreciate you all. I know some have offered book suggestions for another series, but I neglected to note them. Let me know if you have another amazing book that I can review on here. Yes, I am a glutton for punishment.

 

 

Valentines on Ash Wednesday

*********

Brad Sargent, part of the SSB team, wrote this yesterday and I thought it was so good, I asked him if I could share it with you.

brad

***

Valentine’s Day can be a great day or a difficult day depending on your relationship status: single, married, divorced, separated. Some people have had (or currently have) difficult marriages that taint the day. But I really liked this! This is ultimate Love. For you and Me.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

 

Pastor Kevin Swanson’s Blame Game When it Comes to the Dr. Larry Nassar Child Sex Abuse Cases

Kevin Swanson; Larry Nassar; Child Sex Abuse; Rachael Denhollander

Screenshot 2018-02-09 at 10.08.13 PM

Kevin Swanson from Generations.org

-by Kathi with editorial comments by Julie Anne

Kevin Swanson’s February 9, 2018 broadcast on Generations covered the recent gymnastics and sexual abuse case by now-convicted sexual predator, Dr. Larry Nassar. Right Wing Watch picked up his broadcast and noted that he blames immodesty in the sport of gymnastics for Dr. Larry Nassar’s behavior.

Julie Anne texted me at work and asked if I would be willing to write a snarky post about Swanson [JA here = is it possible to do a Kevin Swanson post sans snark? Serious question.] As much I can’t stand to listen to him speak, I decided to listen to the whole broadcast. Kathi is a glutton for punishment. I only asked if she would be willing to write about the modesty part that Right Wing Watch reported on. In fact, here is where she tells me on Messenger:

My (unfortunate) experience with listening to Swanson over the years has brought me to the understanding that he is never sympathetic to victims of sexual abuse, so I wanted to see if this broadcast would be any different. My snarky side turned to my angry side as I realized that he hasn’t changed one bit. Continue reading

SSB Sunday Gathering – February 11, 2018

 

Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.

 long drive

-by Kathi

Scripture is taken from the Book of Common Prayer, Readings for Year 2 and may be found here.

***

Psalm 150

Praise the Lord.

Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him with the strings and pipe, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Luke 9: 18 – 27

Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, he asked them, “Who do the crowds say I am?”

They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life.”

“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Peter answered, “God’s Messiah.”

Jesus strictly warned them not to tell this to anyone. And he said, “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.”

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

“Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.”

2 Corinthians 3: 7 – 18

Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, transitory though it was, will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? If the ministry that brought condemnation was glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. And if what was transitory came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!

Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

***

***

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you: wherever he may send you;

may he guide you through the wilderness: protect you from the storm;

may he bring you home rejoicing: at the wonders he has shown you;

may he bring you home rejoicing: once again into our doors.

***
Feel free to join the discussion.
You can share your church struggles and concerns.
Let’s also use it as a time to encourage one another spiritually.
What have you found spiritually encouraging lately?
Do you have any special Bible verses to share, any YouTube songs that you have found uplifting?

 

Photo credit: Kathi – Sunset in Washington

A Personal Story and a Sad Conclusion When Pastors Failed to Respond Appropriately to Domestic Violence

Domestic violence, Church response, Rob Porter


***

You may have heard in the news recently about Rob Porter who worked for President Trump in the White House. Porter recently resigned his position as White House Staff Secretary after allegations of domestic violence from his two ex-wives surfaced in the media. It was disheartening to hear that both women reported the abuse to elders in their churches and to counselors. Somehow, he was able to get a job in the White House, although it was known by White House staff months before his resignation. (Source)

“When I tried to get help, I was counseled to consider carefully how what I said might affect his career,” Willoughby wrote in a blog post last year, adding later, “Friends and clergy didn’t believe me. And so I stayed.”

She also told The Intercept that when she went to her bishop about Porter’s anger issues, he cautioned that it could hurt Porter’s image. “Keep in mind, Rob has career ambitions,” she recalled the local LDS leader saying, according to the online news outlet.

“It wasn’t until I went to a secular counselor at my workplace one summer and told him what was going on that he was the first person, and not a male religious leader, who told me that what was happening was not OK,” she told the Daily Mail. (Source)

Although the above example was in the LDS church, I’ve written a number of blog articles about domestic violence in Evangelical Christian churches, and many times the response is the same.

Here is where I stand on this issue at the moment. If someone contacts me about domestic violence, I am very leery to encourage them to talk to their pastor or church leaders unless they know that their church has a proven record of helping survivors of domestic violence and has plans in place. Time and again, these women are subjected to secondary harm: spiritual abuse and emotional harm by their spiritual leaders who do not know how to handle these cases appropriately.

This tweet I saw recently was profound!

***

Yesterday, a comment came in on this post: Bethlehem Baptist Church Excommunicates Victim of Domestic Violence, but since it is an older post, not many will read it. I have posted the comment below. It needs to be read. Is this the outcome the church wants? Then church leaders need to get their collective acts together and help the survivors, and report the perpetrators!

I am so freakin’ tired of these stories!


***

delete

When I went to my pastor for help he would not even meet with me, he sent his wife instead. All she had to say, despite me being very clear that I was in fear for my safety, in addition to the emotional torment I was subjected to for years, was to keep praying for God to soften his heart. I was told to look inward and ask God to help me be the best godly wife I could be, because I should be the example of God’s love to my husband. My husband would see God working in me, as evidenced by me not fighting back, being submissive, always staying calm even in the midst of his chaos, and loving & respecting my husband despite how he was treating me.

When I did finally tell my husband I was filing for divorce, even though I had repeatedly been told that God hates divorce, I endured the worst physical assault ever dished out by him. I had a knife pulled on me, was threatened with death, and my 4-year old son ripped from my arms as I tried to flee after being held hostage for hours. I was finally able to get to a phone.

He went to jail. The divorce was finalized 3 months later. I called the pastor’s wife to tell her what happened. I got the standard, “I’m so sorry, if you need anything let us know.” I had no job, he had taken money from our account and hid it. I had 60 days to move out before the protective order expired.

I never got a call from the pastor, or his wife, checking on me. Instead, the pastor was talking with my husband, because according to my pastor, “It takes two to fight and divorce was not the answer.” Again, it was my fault. All the church ever did was put the onus on me to be a better wife, pray for him, and extend him grace because his heart was hardened. No responsibility on the abuser. No support was offered to me, not even any kind words.

***

I left the church forever at that point.

***

I had already been made to feel like I just needed to do better, and now, I was the sinful one for leaving. I left the church forever at that point. And I left the misguided teachings of an ancient misogynist book we call the bible, behind as well.

My story is not unique and that is the problem. My story is rampant in churches across the entire world. Quite frankly, I came to the conclusion that if God really loved the church, He wouldn’t have allowed man to destroy it. But man has destroyed it because man built it, just as man wrote the book that dictates the lives of people that attend it. I finally realized it was all false teachings.

I refuse to believe in a God that allows this to happen – that allows his teachings to become so twisted that women literally die because they are told not to leave. I don’t want any part of it. And letting go of all of it was the most freeing thing ever.

But to all of you in the church that enable this to happen, that do nothing more than say “well those people aren’t real Christians.” you are failing your own make-belief god, because his church is the very reason that I no longer buy into the fantasy. My son was traumatized beyond what any of you could imagine, and I will not ever teach him that God will use his horrific experience to help others, or that this was all part of a divine plan. Unlike the Godly father, I will do everything to protect my son, never allowing him to think that his suffering is justified, so that it could glorify the holy narcissist in the sky.

These teachings, that boom, and the man-made institution of the church are dangerous. I’m glad this site is speaking out as if some people have enough sense to know that the sanctity of marriage is never more important than the sanctity of life, but it is too late for me. We would have been spared a lot had it not been for the fact that God hates marriage so much. Who cares about an eternity in hell if you are already living it here on this planet? At least I’m safe now, my son is safe, and I’ll gladly burn forever to stand up and speak out against a church and a God that allows this to happen to women.

 

 

photo credit: heinltier emotions via photopin (license)

Desiring God’s Attitude Toward Mental Health

Desiring God; John Piper; Church Attitudes Toward Mental Health

-by Kathi

There has been much talk recently about Desiring God’s tweet on February 6, 2018.

Screenshot 2018-02-07 at 7.18.46 PM

***

The concern over this tweet is the lack of consideration for how complex the mind is and how trauma affects the brain. Why do so many Christians think that mental health is purely a spiritual issue? The brain is a part of our body. Just as the body is treated by medical professionals, so must the brain be treated for complex mental health issues.

The original tweet was followed up with this:

Screenshot 2018-02-07 at 7.19.06 PM

***

So, the original tweet was based off an article posted 12/31/07. This article was a tribute to Clyde Kilby and cites resolutions for mental he stated in a lecture in 1976. No where in this article is the mirror image used in the original tweet. The only thing closest to the mirror image is:

I shall not demean my own uniqueness by envy of others. I shall stop boring into myself to discover what psychological or social categories I might belong to. Mostly I shall simply forget about myself and do my work.

 

Mental health can be magically fixed

by focusing on God?

 

Going back to the original tweet, I was not surprised by this thought that mental health could be magically fixed by focusing on God. I was sure that Desiring God has been posting this concept for years, not only by John Piper, but by others as well. Searching through articles on the site I found the following examples of this thought perpetuated over the years:

From John Piper, paper presented to Bethlehem Baptist Church for their search for an Associate Pastor of Counseling, “Toward a Definition of the Essence of Biblical Counseling” 12/12/01:

There is no true mental health without understanding the desperate condition we were in without the cross, and without feeling the joy of deliverance from that condition through the death of Christ on our behalf.

***

From John Piper, “Should Christians Use Anti-Depressants?” 1/21/08:

However, on the other side, it seems clear to me that the brain is a physical organ with electrical impulses and chemicals, and that mental illness is therefore not merely spiritual. No man could persuade me that all mental derangement is owing to a spiritual cause that has a purely spiritual solution.

One way medicine can be helpful is if it gets people to a point where they have enough stability to read the Bible. Then, through being able to read the Scriptures, people are able to be refreshed in the Lord and, in time, come off of the medicine. In that case medicine is a means to an end, and that seems perfectly natural to me.

***

From John Piper, Speech to American Association of Christian Counselors, “Beholding Glory and Becoming Whole: Seeing and Savoring God as the Heart of Mental Health”  9/16/09:

And just at this point, I wonder if many of our people are left thinking that what it means to be loved by God simply that he affirms their desire to be made much of. “Christ died for me to make much of me. He rescued me while undeserving to make much of me. He forgave me to make much of me. He removed his wrath to make much of me.” Oh how gloriously good this feels! What a precious gospel! And it’s all merely natural. There’s nothing supernatural about it. It looks like recovery and healing! It works. But at root, it is not “to the praise of the glory of his grace.” It’s all to the praise of the glory of his affirmation of me.”

***

From Rick Warren, Desiring God 2010 National Conference, “The Battle for Your Mind” 10/1/10:

I have been studying this subject for thirty-three years. I did my first study on the mind in 1977, working through all the books of the Bible. I think I could teach on this subject for an entire week. There is so much material on what the Bible has to say about strengthening our minds, renewing our minds, submitting our minds, and bringing our thoughts into captivity. There are at least one hundred principles in God’s Word that have to do with what we are to do with our minds. As I said, your mind is your greatest asset.

***

From John Piper, “Your Life’s Greatest Problem” 1/14/15:

Now let’s just get this real clear and real straight, because I have the feeling we live in such a kind of touchy feely day that Christianity is being so psychologized and so therapeutized that we really do believe this book was written for our mental health. It wasn’t. It was written to help us get right with a wrathful God. God is one great massive fire of holiness. He hates sin and cannot abide it. We are little ant like sinners of sin. And if we got within 10 trillion miles of this God we would be consumed.

***

From Marshall Segal, “The Insanity of ‘Self-Care’” 3/14/16:

Practice a different kind of mindfulness. Go ahead and listen to music, or watch a sunset, or play with your pet, but go Godward — be mindful of God and his great love for you. It really can be helpful to practice gratitude, or to enjoy a particular moment or activity, or to focus on something bigger than yourself, but not if it ends there, and certainly not if it only ends with you. Any habit or activity can be a means of joy, peace, and healing, but only if it brings you to God — our only Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure.

***

From John Piper, “The Root of Mental Health” 3/15/16:

After medication, perhaps the most common remedy for most behavioral and mental disorders is — and has been for almost half a century — some form of self-worth enhancement. It pervades our educational institutions, the psychotherapeutic and counseling systems, the personnel and motivational industry, advertising, and even the church.

I think the remedy is flawed. And its Christianized forms may involve damaging views of Christ and his cross. For example, it is profoundly wrong to turn the cross of Christ into a warrant for self-esteem as the root of mental health.

***

John Piper, From his book Taste and See: Savoring the Supremacy of God in All of Life 7/5/16:

It is profoundly wrong to turn the cross into a warrant for self-esteem as the root of mental health. If I stand before the love of God and do not feel a healthy, satisfying, freeing joy without turning that love into an echo of my self-esteem, then I am like a man who stands before the Grand Canyon and feels no satisfying wonder until he translates the canyon into a case for his own significance. That is not the presence of health, but bondage to self.

***

From Jon Bloom, “The Proven Path to Mental Health” 10/30/17:

The proven path to our soundest mental health is a robust, holistic trust, in everything and every circumstance, in the triune Christian God.

Desiring God has been perpetuating the myth that mental health issues can be taken care of by simply changing your attitude or focusing more on God for years. This may work for some people, but those with complex brain chemistry issues may not able to solve their problem with a mere attitude adjustment. Attitudes in the church toward mental health also keep people from seeking proper treatment.

It is time for Desiring God to stop equating a person’s mental health status with their spiritual status. The two are not one in the same.

A Preacher’s Bible? Why?

***

JA is scratching her head. I don’t get it. Do you?

 

 

Is Ravi Zacharias Violating his Federal Lawsuit Non-Disclosure Agreement? Does Anybody Care?

Ravi Zacharias, Online Sex Scandal, NDA, Lawsuit, Suicide emails


ravi zacharias, online sex scandal, lori anne thompson

***

GUEST POST by Steve Baughman

Is Ravi Zacharias Violating his Federal Lawsuit Non-Disclosure Agreement? Does Anybody Care?

by Steve Baughman

On November 9, 2017, Ravi Zacharias settled his lawsuit against Lori Anne and Brad Thompson by entering into a non-disclosure agreement (NDA). The terms of the agreement are confidential. But from what Ms. Thompson says, they are highly restrictive. She told an inquiring Christian blogger shortly after the settlement, “My husband and I are, and always will be bound by confidentiality legally. All I can say now or ever say is that he dropped the lawsuit and the matter is settled.”

Ravi apparently sees it the same way. He told Christianity Today “I am legally prevented from answering or even discussing the questions and claims being made by some, other than to say that each side paid for their own legal expenses and no ministry funds were used.”  According to the magazine, “Zacharias declined to comment to CT on the image of the emails showing the apparent suicide threat, citing the nondisclosure agreement.”

This is pretty standard stuff.  A case settles on confidential terms and nobody can talk about it except to say that it has settled.

Take careful note. The Thompsons can now say nothing. And they appear to be taking their promise seriously.

What about Ravi?

Well,… not so much. Continue reading

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – “Healthy,” One of Lori’s Favorite Buzz Words

The Power of a Transformed Wife: Lori Alexander, Healthy Living

 

received_10156161765388653.jpeg

Owen, the Watch Dog, does not approve of this book.

-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews if you’d like to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8 – Part 1   Chapter 8 – Part 2    Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12   Chapter 13   Chapter 14   Chapter 15   Chapter 16

****

Chapter 17 – Serving Healthy Foods Means Healthy Families

We’re getting to the point in the book where I’m wondering why some of these chapters are even in here. I’m beginning to feel like they’re merely pages to fill up a book. The last chapter was about decluttering your home, and this one is about healthy food and DIY household cleaners. Which leads me to question:

What does this have to do with being a “transformed wife?” Continue reading

Will Those in the Real Gospel-Centered Churches Please Stand?

Gospel-Centered Movement, TGC, YRR, Calvinists, Jared Wilson


***

Over at The Gospel Coalition website, Jared Wilson has published the Top 125 Influences of the Gospel-Centered Movement.

Now, I admit at first, I had assumed that he was talking about all influential Christians. As I read more of his intro, I saw that he was really referring to the YRR (Young, restless, and Reformed) folks, aka Calvinistas (as referred to by the Deebs at The Wartburg Watch. Other names include, New Calvinists, or Neo-Calvinists, and Hyper Calvinists (but Jared didn’t name those three).

Taking a look through the 125 names, please note the lack of women listed. Also, take note of the number of men who are listed who are known to have been caught up in sexual scandals, clergy sexual misconduct, covering up sexual abuse, heavy-handed church discipline, spiritual abuse, hiding pedophiles, permanence of marriage belief, harmful to wives of domestic violence, etc. It’s almost a Who’s-Who list of evil (it’s kind of weird these abusive wolves would even be in such a list, but I guess they were “influential” at one time or another).

top 125 gospel-centered tgc

I, along with others, had a Twitter conversation with Jared. I was curious to know how the survey was done, who he reached out to. I wanted to know if he went outside of his own circle to ask people. How many people did he ask? I guess I’m slow, because when I think of influential leaders, in my mind, they are from different camps and for different reasons. I would ask people outside of my circle in order to have a wider spectrum of contributions.

It didn’t occur to me that this group is so insular. I know, I know, I should have known, but I keep giving them the benefit of the doubt thinking they would venture beyond their borders because it’s a big world out there and God can work in people across denominational and doctrinal boundaries. Or maybe it’s because I do not fit in a box. People would have a difficult time labeling me. I don’t like labels. But apparently this group does.

So, here are some tweets from the conversation. I tried to give enough so you can sense the tone and tension (which I found to be over-the-top). Continue reading

BREAKING: Pastor Trey Brunson threatened to call security on Q&A questioner re: Ravi Zacharias’ suicide email and online sexual relationship with married woman

Ravi Zacharias, Jacksonville Pastors’ Conference 2018, Threats


URGENT! BREAKING!

trey.PNG

***

THIS AFTERNOON Pastor Trey Brunson threatened to call security on Q&A questioner who wished to ask about Ravi Zacharias’ admitted suicide threat and online affair with married Canadian woman.

The organizers of this event are using police tactics to keep the information from reaching the flock about their speaker, who tonight will be honored with the Lindsay Award.

Please insist that they address this issue before confirming this award on a man who threatened suicide to cover up an online affair he had with a married woman from home he received nude photos. Ravi Zacharias put his public image above the marital well-being of a Christian woman.

This may disrupt the show, but that’s the price of integrity.

 

UPDATE:  The person threatened was removed from the conference!

Why Aren’t Church Leaders and RZIM Board Members Asking Ravi Zacharias about the Suicide Emails and about His Online Sexual Relationship?

Ravi Zacharias, RZIM, Sex Scandal, Lawsuit

***


Ravi Zacharias, sex scandal, falsified credentials, lawsuit

Twitter photo

Ravi Zacharias seems to have fallen off the radar. However, he did not fall off my radar. I never signed a nondisclosure agreement. I can share more if I feel so inclined. But I don’t think I will stop speaking out about Ravi Zacharias until he comes clean. The signing of a nondisclosure agreement should make one question:  if he has nothing to hide, why was there a nondisclosure agreement?

I have received emails from donors who are wanting to see “the” emails between he and Ms. Thompson, and rightly so. If these folks are supporting a ministry, they have the right to know if their money is going to support someone who is telling the truth or not.

What I don’t understand is how did this case of internationally-known Ravi Zacharias and his sexual relationship with the married woman, Ms. Thompson, get to the point of legal action without the RZIM Board knowing the details? Does that sound normal to you? It does not to me. I was on the board of a non-profit, and all of the board members were supposed to know and kept abreast of what was going on within the organization. You better believe if there was a lawsuit going on, we would have been the first to know, and we would have known the details.

Why didn’t the RZIM Board know long before the lawsuit, before attorneys and public image rescuer, Mark DeMoss, got involved? Why didn’t Ravi Zacharias surrender his emails to the Board? Was this Mr. Zacharias’ plan all along, so that he could thwart the opportunity for his Board to have full knowledge of his online sexual relationship with Ms. Thompson? 

Continue reading

BREAKING: Leaders at Doug Wilson’s Christ Church Put Woman in Abusive Marriage Under Church Discipline

Mike Lawyer, Counseling, Abuse in Marriage, Abuse of Authority

I have been in contact with a woman named Gen, who has agreed to let me post this letter she received from Mike Lawyer, “on behalf of Christ Church Session.” Christ Church is Doug Wilson’s church in Moscow, Idaho. If you would like to learn more about Doug Wilson and his extra-biblical and spiritually abusive ways, see his name in “Categories” in the side bar.

Gen told me she was in an abusive marriage. She was not physically abused, but was emotionally, verbally, spiritually, and financially abused. She and her husband sought counseling, and were in counseling both together and separately.

Gen also told me that she didn’t respond appropriately to the abuse – that she reacted by yelling and crying. I don’t think that’s an inappropriate response to abuse, do you? That seems very normal. I’m not sure where she learned that she was responsible for her response, but that concerns me because it takes the focus off the perpetrator and places it on the survivor – as if they are both equal sinners.

This following letter was sent to Gen on January 18, 2018. Mike Lawyer has decided he knows her spiritual condition and has determined that she is not living up to being a proper wife, etc. Because of her “unwillingness” to deal with her sins, she is being put in church discipline.

It’s important to understand that Doug Wilson believes that husbands are the heads of the home. He believes in Patriarchy. If husbands are the priests of the home, who do you think they would believe first, the husband or the wife? Continue reading

Rachael Denhollander, the Relentless Hero Who Loved Sacrificially, and Stopped Dr. Larry Nassar from Sexually Abusing More Girls

Rachael DenholIander, Dr. Larry Nassar, Sexual Abuse, MSU, USAG


rachael denhollander, dr. larry nassar

“Who is going to find these little girls and tell them how much they are worth?”   Rachael Denhollander

***

I normally write articles about church leaders or Christian groups. This is neither, but you will see soon discover that the hero in this story, Rachael Denhollander, is a Christian. In this story, you will see sacrificial love – love that puts the needs, safety, concern of others, far ahead of herself. It’s one thing to sacrifice for your family or friends, but Rachael sacrificed for strangers. She was steadfast, strong, determined, articulate, thorough, and unrelenting. She became a leader, a counselor, an encourager, a listening ear, and perhaps even a surrogate mother-like figure to many who had gone through the same horrific ordeal. For those who couldn’t speak, she became their voices; but by her bravery and courage, she empowered others to use their voice, even up until the very last day of testimonies.

This is about a highly publicized sex abuse case, not in the church, but in athletics. The Dr. Larry Nassar sex abuse case has been an important case. I like to watch cases like these to observe the tactics abusers or enablers use to hide the deviant behavior. When there’s one person who is abusing, many times there are others who enable the abuse. This is a classic case of systemic abuse just as we have seen at Penn State, in the Catholic Church (see Spotlight Movie), the Boy’s Scouts, and others.

Because of the graphic content in this post, I am issuing a trigger alert. If you have been sexually abused, this will likely be difficult to read. Use caution. Continue reading

The David and Louise Turpin Family Homeschool Cult

David and Louise Turpin, Homeschool, Cult, Abuse, Torture


David and Louise Turpin, homeschool, cult, abuse, torture, chain, padlock, quiverfull full-quiver, Christian

***

Most likely you have heard the news about the large homeschooling family, the Turpins, from California. The parents, David, 57, and Louise, 49, Turpin who were arrested for torture and child endangerment, with bail set at $9 million each. Here are some of the key facts:

  • David and Louise Turpin are the biological parents of 13 children ranging in age of 2 years to 29 years old.
  • They live in Perris, California, not too far from Los Angeles.
  • Their 17-yr old daughter escaped from her home early Sunday morning by climbing out of a window, and used a deactivated cell phone to contact authorities. She showed the police photos of the living conditions of the home which convinced authorities to do a welfare check at the house.
  • When authorities arrived, they found several children shackled to beds or furniture by chain and padlocks.
  • The children were found pale and extremely emaciated.
  • It was reported that the 17-yr old looked to be approximately 10 years old. The other adults, too, looked very young for their age.
  • David and Louise Anna Turpin were arrested on charges of torture and child endangerment.
  • The minor children were taken to one hospital, and the adult children were taken to another. All were given food and drink, and admitted for treatment.
  • “US reports say Louise’s parents had tried to visit their daughter and son-in-law in the past, and had to turn back at the airport when the Turpins refused to provide their street address.” Source
  • They were known to be hoarders, and the home was dark and had a foul odor.
  • The children were rarely seen outside. Neighbors had no clue there were 13 children (and adult children) living in the home.
  • They were deeply religious, and were forced to memorize chapters of the Bible
  • David Turpin registered his homeschool under the name, Sandcastle Day School in 2011.

Continue reading