So, really, the bottom line is love. Love your friends/family who are stuck in their abusive church. Show them what love is, what joy is, what freedom is, what mundane is. Invite them to share a meal with you (their favorite meal). Be boring. Be you. Be kind, loving, and accepting. This is so attractive to someone in a high-controlling church.
. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.
Julie Anne Smith shares with Michael how she got slapped with a $500,000 lawsuit, uncovered abuse in her church and among evangelicals, and how patriarchal theology harms women. Hear this lively conversation as they discuss the prevalence and roots of spiritual abuse . . .
"They taught me that sometimes the exit door of an abusive church is held open by the gracious hands of friends who have nothing to do with church, or even with Christianity, but who simply would never turn their back on a friend."
Chuck O'Neal, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Spiritual Abuse, Negative Google Reviews, Defamation Lawsuit The other day, I got a call from my good friend, Michelle, who used to attend the cult/church we attended. Her husband used to be on staff at the church (Beaverton Grace Bible Church) and was fired. That led to… Continue reading Negative Google Reviews are Still Keeping People Away from My Spiritually Abusive Church 6 Years after Lawsuit
Chuck O'Neal, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Jeff Rose, Dr. Edward Delcour, Mike Gendron, Mike Stockwell, and Robert Gray, Evangelism Reformation Conference, Reformation Fire Conference https://twitter.com/ChuckONeal_/status/883432785221894144 *** I don't have a problem with those tweets. On the surface, they are fine. But even false teachers get things right. The Bible tells us: For certain individuals whose… Continue reading Pastor Chuck O’Neal Continues to Pull the Wool over His Evangelist Friends’ Eyes
Spiritual Abuse, Pastor Ken Garrett, Spiritual Abuse in the church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery *** Ok, here we go, plowing through Pastor Ken Garret's dissertation about spiritual abuse. I used the word plowing intentionally. For some of us, it will be work. It is not enjoyable to be reminded about difficult experiences. However,… Continue reading Blog Series: Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery by Pastor Ken Garrett, Wk 2
Free Thinker, Atheist, Christian Blogger, Thought Reform, Patriarchy, Spiritual Abuse, Cults Last Sunday, I had the privilege of speaking at a Free Thinkers group. Privilege, some might ask? You bet. I will take any opportunity afforded to share the truth, set the record straight, and especially let people know that I, as a Christian, am displeased by the… Continue reading Christian Blogger Invited to Speak at Free Thinkers’ Meeting about Abuse in Christian Churches
Bill Gothard, Advanced Training Institute (ATI), Institutes in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) **** When I was in Chicago visiting my daughter in the fall, I met with Jake Youngman who had contacted me weeks earlier about the cult of Bill Gothard, Institutes in Basic Life Principles and ATI. He wanted to interview me based on… Continue reading Bill Gothard Documentary
* * * * * * * Boy, oh boy, it's been FIVE years today since the beginning of my blogs, and tomorrow marks five years since being served with the lawsuit by my ex-pastor Chuck O'Neal of Beaverton Grace Bible Church. It's a good milestone moment to update the legacy. Here was my profile… Continue reading Spiritual Sounding Board: Updating the Legacy – Year 5
*** This is a very insightful statement from C.J. Mahaney. https://twitter.com/CJMahaney/status/739414015546404864 When a pastor preaches, he is leading his congregation in his interpretation of Scripture. It may or may not be correct. I know from reading many personal stories of those who were Mahaney's church that his teachings caused spiritual harm. I don't think… Continue reading How our Pastor’s Biblical Interpretation Can Affect Our Understanding of Scripture and God
How to help a family member or friend leave a high-controlling church group or cult: spiritual abuse, trapped, thought reform, mind control, freedom “Mind control is the process by which individual or collective freedom of choice and action is compromised by agents or agencies that modify or distort perception, motivation, affect, cognition and/or behavioral… Continue reading Help! My Family Member or Close Friend is Trapped in a High-Controlling Church or Cult. How Can I Encourage Them to Leave?
I've been out of commission a bit this week, having out-of-town visitors, and a quick trip to Portland for a wedding. I had to drive down Walker Road a few minutes ago to pick up my son, and drove by my old church, Beaverton Grace Bible Church. As I drove by the church, I noticed… Continue reading Is this normal?
Pastor Chuck O'Neal, Manhood, Street Evangelism, Abortion, Bully, Spiritual Abuse, Beaverton Grace Bible Church Someone alerted me to the following video just yesterday. Last month, Pastor Chuck O'Neal of Beaverton Grace Bible Church went to the Lovejoy Surgicenter in Portland, Oregon. O'Neal and members from his church are frequent visitors outside the clinic "evangelizing."… Continue reading Pastor Chuck O’Neal Badgers and Berates an Abortion Clinic Escort about His Manhood
A guest post by brad/futuristguy. Today marks the four-year anniversary of what turned into a five-plus-month lawsuit by Charles O’Neal and Beaverton Grace Bible Church (BGBC) against Julie Anne Smith and four other defendants. He alleged defamation (in part because Julie Anne posted negative online reviews of him and his church), he wanted a jury… Continue reading Spiritual Sounding Board: The Legacy That a Defamation Lawsuit Left to the Survivor Community
Children Harmed by Spiritual Abuse Yesterday, I was talking with my programming language tutor and mentioned that I had a blog. He asked what my blog was about and I told him the long story. He was absolutely dumbfounded by what he was hearing and kept shaking his head, not wanting to believe it, even… Continue reading The Fallout of Spiritual Abuse on Our Children
Spiritual Abuse - What finally made you realize you had to leave your church? *** *** I had already told my husband that I had to leave BGBC, with or without him, but I was hoping that he would come to the same conclusion without my influence. That finally happened after our close friend who was… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: What Was the Last Straw That Caused You to Leave Your Abusive Church?
Pastor Chuck O'Neal of Beaverton Grace Bible Church Taught Parents to Spank Adult Children One of the more challenging aspects about abuse is the recurring triggers, even years after abuse. In the strictest sense of the term, trigger is used to refer to experiences that “re-trigger” trauma in the form of flashbacks or… Continue reading Pastor Chuck O’Neal of Beaverton Grace Bible Church Taught Parents to Spank Adult Children
*** Pastor Chuck O'Neal claims Portland-area police officer is threatening his First Amendment Rights. This is the same pastor who sued 4 former church members $500,000 for speaking out publicly against him. *** *** This is rich. Pastor Chuck O'Neal of Beaverton Grace Bible Church, the very same pastor who sued me and four former church… Continue reading Pastor Chuck O’Neal Who Sued 5 Former Church Members for $500,000 for Defamation Claims His First Amendment Rights are Violated When Police Officer Asks Him to Move to Side of Road to Preach
Chuck O'Neal and Beaverton Grace Bible Church to host Jeremiah Cry Ministries "The Soul Winner" conference. O'Neal will be speaking as well as Open Air Preacher Tony Miano. What a combination: a suing pastor and open air preacher who behaves like the "spirit of Westboro" speaking on soul winning. The conference is May 7-9, 2015 at… Continue reading Pastor Chuck O’Neal and Open Air Preacher Tony Miano to Speak at Jeremiah Cry Conference Hosted at Beaverton Grace Bible Church