. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.
"They taught me that sometimes the exit door of an abusive church is held open by the gracious hands of friends who have nothing to do with church, or even with Christianity, but who simply would never turn their back on a friend."
Chuck O'Neal, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Spiritual Abuse, Negative Google Reviews, Defamation Lawsuit The other day, I got a call from my good friend, Michelle, who used to attend the cult/church we attended. Her husband used to be on staff at the church (Beaverton Grace Bible Church) and was fired. That led to… Continue reading Negative Google Reviews are Still Keeping People Away from My Spiritually Abusive Church 6 Years after Lawsuit
Chuck O'Neal, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, Jeff Rose, Dr. Edward Delcour, Mike Gendron, Mike Stockwell, and Robert Gray, Evangelism Reformation Conference, Reformation Fire Conference https://twitter.com/ChuckONeal_/status/883432785221894144 *** I don't have a problem with those tweets. On the surface, they are fine. But even false teachers get things right. The Bible tells us: For certain individuals whose… Continue reading Pastor Chuck O’Neal Continues to Pull the Wool over His Evangelist Friends’ Eyes
Spiritual Abuse, Pastor Ken Garrett, Spiritual Abuse in the church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery *** Ok, here we go, plowing through Pastor Ken Garret's dissertation about spiritual abuse. I used the word plowing intentionally. For some of us, it will be work. It is not enjoyable to be reminded about difficult experiences. However,… Continue reading Blog Series: Spiritual Abuse in the Church: A Guide to Recognition and Recovery by Pastor Ken Garrett, Wk 2
Free Thinker, Atheist, Christian Blogger, Thought Reform, Patriarchy, Spiritual Abuse, Cults Last Sunday, I had the privilege of speaking at a Free Thinkers group. Privilege, some might ask? You bet. I will take any opportunity afforded to share the truth, set the record straight, and especially let people know that I, as a Christian, am displeased by the… Continue reading Christian Blogger Invited to Speak at Free Thinkers’ Meeting about Abuse in Christian Churches
*** This is a very insightful statement from C.J. Mahaney. https://twitter.com/CJMahaney/status/739414015546404864 When a pastor preaches, he is leading his congregation in his interpretation of Scripture. It may or may not be correct. I know from reading many personal stories of those who were Mahaney's church that his teachings caused spiritual harm. I don't think… Continue reading How our Pastor’s Biblical Interpretation Can Affect Our Understanding of Scripture and God
How to help a family member or friend leave a high-controlling church group or cult: spiritual abuse, trapped, thought reform, mind control, freedom “Mind control is the process by which individual or collective freedom of choice and action is compromised by agents or agencies that modify or distort perception, motivation, affect, cognition and/or behavioral… Continue reading Help! My Family Member or Close Friend is Trapped in a High-Controlling Church or Cult. How Can I Encourage Them to Leave?
I've been out of commission a bit this week, having out-of-town visitors, and a quick trip to Portland for a wedding. I had to drive down Walker Road a few minutes ago to pick up my son, and drove by my old church, Beaverton Grace Bible Church. As I drove by the church, I noticed… Continue reading Is this normal?
Pastor Chuck O'Neal, Manhood, Street Evangelism, Abortion, Bully, Spiritual Abuse, Beaverton Grace Bible Church Someone alerted me to the following video just yesterday. Last month, Pastor Chuck O'Neal of Beaverton Grace Bible Church went to the Lovejoy Surgicenter in Portland, Oregon. O'Neal and members from his church are frequent visitors outside the clinic "evangelizing."… Continue reading Pastor Chuck O’Neal Badgers and Berates an Abortion Clinic Escort about His Manhood
Children Harmed by Spiritual Abuse Yesterday, I was talking with my programming language tutor and mentioned that I had a blog. He asked what my blog was about and I told him the long story. He was absolutely dumbfounded by what he was hearing and kept shaking his head, not wanting to believe it, even… Continue reading The Fallout of Spiritual Abuse on Our Children
Spiritual Abuse - What finally made you realize you had to leave your church? *** *** I had already told my husband that I had to leave BGBC, with or without him, but I was hoping that he would come to the same conclusion without my influence. That finally happened after our close friend who was… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: What Was the Last Straw That Caused You to Leave Your Abusive Church?
Pastor Chuck O'Neal of Beaverton Grace Bible Church Taught Parents to Spank Adult Children One of the more challenging aspects about abuse is the recurring triggers, even years after abuse. In the strictest sense of the term, trigger is used to refer to experiences that “re-trigger” trauma in the form of flashbacks or… Continue reading Pastor Chuck O’Neal of Beaverton Grace Bible Church Taught Parents to Spank Adult Children
*** Phil Johnson of Grace Community Church claims that sheep, not wolves are the main trouble with churches *** *** Yesterday, Phil Johnson of Grace Community Church tweeted this: *** He is assuming the primary problem are the "sheepiness" of sheep??? That does not surprise me. Let me show you my personal experience with… Continue reading Phil Johnson Claims the Main Trouble in Churches are the Sheep, not Wolves
*** Pastors who use their assumed position of authority to control personal lives. *** for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Hebrews 13:17 *** This is finals week at school, so in the interest of time, I'm going to resurrect an old post from March of… Continue reading Some Pastors Think They Get to Control the Details of Your Lives, Even the Colors of Clothes You Wear
*** Does Tony Miano's ministry show kindness, genuine love, truthful speech and honor, or is he heralding slander instead of God's Holy Word? *** We put no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots,… Continue reading Tony Miano’s Ministry of Honor, Genuine Love, and Righteousness by Truthful Speech? Or Not?
* * * Spiritual abusers are often self-absorbed, preaching humility, but exhibiting pride. Pastors who draw attention to themselves and their accomplishments and self-importance are not servant leaders. * * * Being familiar with a pastor's personality and charm can sometimes conceal warning signs which might seem… Continue reading When Your Pastor Speaks Humility, but Shows Pride Instead
* * * We can learn a lot about the spiritual health of a church and how they function by reading their church governance bylaws and doctrinal statements of faith. * * * There were many people, after my lawsuit became very public, who went to my… Continue reading Learn to Discern: Doctrinal Statements and Spiritual Authority
* * * Tony Miano, author of Should She Preach?, attended John MacArthur's Strange Fire conference at Grace Community Church, along with Pastor Chuck O'Neal (suing pastor who had minister's license revoked and currently in discipline), Phil Johnson, Dr. Steve Lawson, all of whom contributed to Miano's book. * … Continue reading Question for Tony Miano: Did Joni Preach?
* * * I apologize in advance for the length of this post. Please read the Facebook status slowly and let it sink in, would you? * * * H/T to Meaghan Varela, my dear friend (aka the other Woman of Mass Destruction) and former defendant in… Continue reading Strange Fire Conference: John MacArthur, “Reformed Theology is not a Haven for False Teachers”