Some Pastors Think They Get to Control the Details of Your Lives, Even the Colors of Clothes You Wear


Pastors who use their assumed position of authority to control personal lives.


for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.

Hebrews 13:17


This is finals week at school, so in the interest of time, I’m going to resurrect an old post from March of 2012, plus add a little more editorial comment. The following article was written in the midst of the $500,000 defamation lawsuit brought on by my former pastor, Chuck O’Neal and Beaverton Grace Bible Church, against four others and me (including my adult daughter). After I spoke out publicly against Chuck O’Neal on Google reviews, he was able to get my negative reviews removed. I then started a blog, hoping to find a place where he couldn’t take away my voice.

Within a week of starting the blog, I was sued along with 4 others. The blog was a big issue for him because he couldn’t control me or my words. I dared to publicly say something about this man and he tried to shut me down by using the lawsuit. I think he thought that the lawsuit would shut me up. It didn’t. I continued to blog about my experience at his church during the lawsuit (with permission from my attorney.) He lost the court case and I’m still talking about him from time to time because he represents so many others who abuse their assumed position of authority in their churches.  Thanks, Chuck O’Neal for giving me the platform, for bringing media attention to the case, and allowing others to identify spiritual abuse they may have experienced so they can begin their recovery process.

This post was written during the lawsuit when I was stewing about the various things that left me wondering, “what was THAT all about?”  You see, when you are in the midst of an abusive or cult-like church, your brain can play tricks with you. Your mind tells you that this pastor obviously is a godly man because he’s a pastor, right? I mean, who would be in a pastoral position without wanting to be godly and lead the congregation appropriately?  Well, some don’t have right motives. They may have some appearances of right motives, but beneath the facade, they are controlling and abusive, and can actually harm or destroy someone’s faith.

Some are in the pastorate because they relish their position of authority. They like having the seniority, the clout, the respect of a whole congregation. They like that people are hanging on to their words. They like that they have power and influence over people and some pastors, take that power and influence beyond the scope of a pastor’s job. That is what this post about – a man who used his position of authority and influence to try to convince his congregants of stupid rules that have nothing – I mean zilch –  to do with the Bible.

Note: The following article originally appeared here.


You Can’t Make This Stuff Up, Part 1

I remember something that was taught. I think it was said at the ladies retreat and/or perhaps on a Wednesday night meeting, but probably not on Sunday (because Sunday’s messages were recorded???).

Anyway, the topic was about men/boys wearing the color pink. We were told that pink was a “feminine” color and men/boys ought not to be wearing those colors.

I don’t ever recall reading anything of the sort in the Bible. Anywhere. I couldn’t even make up something like that. What in the world does a man wearing pink have to do with the love of Christ and sharing the Gospel? Nothing. It’s extra made-up nonsense.

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You can buy this shirt from Zazzle for $18.95.
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After the ladies retreat, I remember looking through my son’s drawer and seeing a pink shirt. This particular son is a redhead with an angelic white porcelain face. He looks amazing in pink. I want to squeeze him when I see how cute he looks in that color. The pink against his cheeks and red hair was a beautiful sight to his mama’s eyes. There was no way I was going to throw that shirt away. He may have worn that shirt the following Sunday and probably other Sundays as well. I wonder how many people noticed my boy wearing pink?

Does this man look feminine? I think not.

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Tommy Hilfiger Classic Polo Shirt  Pink $54.99 (sold out)
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For further reading on fashionable dressing for men, check out this article  Can men wear pink?  Decide for yourself if pink is acceptable for your man or men (if you have many sons as I do).
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Ok, back to 2014 again. Can you imagine what this kind of teaching, adding extra rules to Christianity, can do? If you have a pastor deciding for you what you can wear, what’s next?  Will he be able to influence what job you take, what woman you marry, what food you can eat, what car you drive? Give me a break.This man put himself between his congregants and God by creating extra rules. He’ll have to answer to God for that.***

152 comments on “Some Pastors Think They Get to Control the Details of Your Lives, Even the Colors of Clothes You Wear

  1. Pingback: Pastor Chuck O’Neal Badgers and Berates an Abortion Clinic Escort about His Manhood | Spiritual Sounding Board

  2. Pingback: Pastor Chuck O’Neal Continues to Pull the Wool over His Evangelist Friends’ Eyes | Spiritual Sounding Board

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