Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Bethlehem Baptist Church, Christian Media, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Failure to Report Crimes, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority

Should I trust Christian media outlets to share my deeply painful church abuse story? Here’s a follow-up article based on my years of covering spiritual abuse testimonies, including quite a few high-profile cases.

The key takeaway is this: anytime an abuser is given a platform, that space will never feel safe for survivors.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Beaverton Grace Bible Church, BGBC Lawsuit, C.J. Mahaney, Chuck O'Neal, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Disturbing Trends, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, JULIE ANNE'S CASE, Mandatory Reporting, Mark Driscoll, Narcissistic Pastors, Ravi Zacharias, Recovery Process, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Bullies

My Church Leaders Were Abusive: Should I share my story publicly with Christian media? Is there something I can do that will affect positive change?

. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Biblical Manhood, Christian Marriage, Church Discipline Process, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, emotional abuse, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Misuse of Scripture, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

We Now See the Fruit of Doug Wilson’s Teachings on Marital Sex: Personal Accounts of Marital Rape

Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, emotional abuse, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Misuse of Scripture, Religious Power and Control, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed

My blog broke the story on two high-profile cases of clergy sexual misconduct. These are very difficult stories to report on, especially as I get to know the survivors and the ongoing emotional and spiritual trauma they endured with these highly influential church leaders. One common misconception I see repeatedly debated in comments on news… Continue reading Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Meetings with the Pastor, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

To Mark Gungor: There is Nothing Inspiring about using “Humor” to Publicly Degrade Women; and Please Do Better on Sex Abuse Cases

There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Authoritative Preaching, Biblical Manhood, Christian Marriage, Crazy Things Church Leaders Say & Do, Disturbing Trends, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Doug Wilson, emotional abuse, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Gender Roles, God's Design for the Family, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Mental Health and the Church, Misuse of Scripture, Religious Power and Control, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

The Who’s Who and What’s What of Poisonous Patriarchy in Contemporary Christianity: Introducing Brian Sauvé

This power-over structure is harmful, demeaning, and depersonalizes women who were made in the Image of God.

Biblical Counseling, Christian Marriage, Divorce, It's All About the Image, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Mental Health and the Church, Personal Stories

A personal update from Julie Anne:

Today is my birthday. This morning I woke up happy, smiling, and very excited to be alive and well with a great home, a great job, and great family and friends. But I’d like to give you a window into what it was like this time last year. I was not well.

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Leaving the Church, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies

When “O Holy Night” Becomes a Nightmare to Someone Whose Faith Has Been Harmed

"This performance is so sincere and heartfelt, shows a high level of skill, and may be the very one you love best of all. I think it is just awful, the perfect expression of a particular culture that I used to think was just distasteful and now believe to be rotten to the core."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, child abuse, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, It's All About the Image, Mandatory Reporting, Meetings with the Pastor, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Southern Baptist Convention, Spiritual Abuse, Statute of Limitations, Women and the Church

Is J.D. Greear just talking, or are we going to see action?

The SBC has been getting push back about selecting "designated survivors" to speak. Was he doing damage control by mentioning the names of the survivors/advocates they chose not to speak? Were the ones chosen to speak selected so that the SBC can control the narrative?

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 5, Accountability Systems Breakdown

Part 5 focuses on the other side of Mr Tchividjian's misuse of his platform as a Christian celebrity minister, speaker, and writer – his accountability system victims: superiors, peers, and subordinates.

What courage must it have taken to publicly post a call for Tullian Tchividjian to repent? To apologize for having amplified his impact? To resign from the board of his newly resurrected non-profit? To remove from their ministry website various resources he'd produced? To cancel contracts that would extend his influence?

What did it cost those who were close to him in terms of ministry – especially those who held authority to oversee his recovery plans, and those who'd been his platform peers?

These are the kinds of questions we should consider as we read this final piece in the case study of Tullian Tchividjian and the details of his abuse of systems, ministry, and accountability ...

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 4, Accountability

It’s not the job of any supervisor, peer, or subordinate to prevent Tullian Tchividjian from sinning, whether he does so mildly or spectacularly. It wasn’t the role of his non-profit board, church sessions, publishing house legal departments, counselors, friends, etc. It’s not even possible. He himself is responsible for his own choices and their impact.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 3, Industrial Complex

... there were over 150 individuals in at least 10 institutions who had direct connections with Tullian Tchividjian as his superiors, peers, or subordinates. And yet, it seems nobody could keep him from his two extramarital sexual involvements he has already admitted to (after they were discovered or disclosed), or from his reported predatory/seductive behavior patterns, or from his reported multiple failures to tell the full truth.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 2, Repair

What does real-world remediation / repentance look like? How can we see what it takes in both attitudes and actions to accomplish damage repair? This post gives three examples of remediation (repair work) — one dealing with a product, one with a denominational organization, one with a social system. Each is notable for seeking to engage in a constructive way parties who were directly involved, and in some cases those who were indirectly affected.

Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, Christian Industrial Complex, Clergy Sex Abuse, Learn to Discern, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Spiritual Authority, Spiritual Bullies, Tullian Tchividjian

UN-accountable: Case Study in Systems Analysis and Ministerial Accountability ~ Part 1, Systems

Systemic abuse always includes a degree of relational manipulation to get/keep people hooked in, as well as deception in order to hide the truth.

ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, child abuse, Clergy Misconduct, Clergy Sex Abuse, Disturbing Trends, Failure to Report Crimes, Russell Moore, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Statute of Limitations

Why is there an admission charge for people who want to attend ERLC’s Caring Well Conference?

SBC has failed miserably with sex abuse cover-ups. This a conference where YOU have to pay to attend hear people discuss issues in which THEY (SBC) have failed. This is messed up. It should be free. #SBC #churchtoo Quote Tweet

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Courtship, Divorce, Doctrine as Idol, Homeschool Movement, Leaving the Church, Modesty and Purity Teachings, Narcissistic Pastors, Recovery Process, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit

SGM Survivor Speaks Out about Josh Harris

I can't imagine the level of psychological trauma, pain & horror as Joshua (and Shannon) began to discover a lot of their framework for their life was built on religion & false fears & manipulated, pseudo acts of "love."

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, C.J. Mahaney, Calvinism, Christian Marriage, Divorce, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit

My Thoughts on Josh Harris as a “Fallen Christian”

"Many people tell me that there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I’m not there now.⁣⁣"

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, C.J. Mahaney, Christian Marriage, Courtship, Divorce, Doctrine as Idol, Extra-Biblical Nonsense, Homeschool Movement, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Leaving the Church, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Modesty and Purity Teachings, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Sovereign Grace Ministries Lawsuit, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY, Spiritual Authority

My Thoughts: Josh Harris (I Kissed Dating Good-bye) and His Wife, Shannon, Announce Marital Separation

But it makes me once again question those ideologies that led up to this point. It makes me think about spiritual abuse. It makes me think about Patriarchy. What significant changes were made in their journey? What ideologies did each one keep, and each one ditch?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, Abuse Systems and Transformation Tools, ABUSERS & THEIR TACTICS, Addressing Abuse, Clergy Sex Abuse, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY

Spiritual Abuse: Is This Worth Dividing the Church Over?

Spiritual Abuse, Jonathan Hollingsworth This is the sixth and final blog post referencing an article by Jonathan Hollingsworth, What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Been Hurt by the Church. The article resonated with a lot of people, so I thought it might be a good idea to discuss these unhelpful statements one by one here,… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: Is This Worth Dividing the Church Over?

ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, ABUSE RECOVERY PROCESS-PROBLEMS, Julie Anne's Personal Stories, Recovery Process, Spiritual Abuse, SPIRITUAL ABUSE RECOVERY

Good Friday, Notre Dame, and Resurrection

The spiritual abuse I experienced will only be a blip in my life's story, and it doesn't define who I am, just as Notre Dame's 2019 fire does not define it. Abuse is part of my story and has shaped me, and has produced life-changing fruit.