SSB Sunday Gathering – January 14, 2018

Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.


-by Kathi

Scripture is taken from the Book of Common Prayer, Readings for Year 2 and may be found here.


Psalm 114

When Israel came out of Egypt, Jacob from a people of foreign tongue, Judah became God’s sanctuary, Israel his dominion.

The sea looked and fled, the Jordan turned back; the mountains leaped like rams, the hills like lambs. Why was it, sea, that you fled? Why, Jordan, did you turn back? Why, mountains, did you leap like rams, you hills, like lambs?

Tremble, earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob, who turned the rock into a pool, the hard rock into springs of water.

Genesis 7: 1 – 10, 17 – 23

The Lord then said to Noah, “Go into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you righteous in this generation. Take with you seven pairs of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and one pair of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate, and also seven pairs of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various kinds alive throughout the earth. Seven days from now I will send rain on the earth for forty days and forty nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made.”

And Noah did all that the Lord commanded him.

Noah was six hundred years old when the floodwaters came on the earth. And Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives entered the ark to escape the waters of the flood. Pairs of clean and unclean animals, of birds and of all creatures that move along the ground, male and female, came to Noah and entered the ark, as God had commanded Noah. And after the seven days the floodwaters came on the earth.

For forty days the flood kept coming on the earth, and as the waters increased they lifted the ark high above the earth. The waters rose and increased greatly on the earth, and the ark floated on the surface of the water. They rose greatly on the earth, and all the high mountains under the entire heavens were covered. The waters rose and covered the mountains to a depth of more than fifteen cubits. Every living thing that moved on land perished—birds, livestock, wild animals, all the creatures that swarm over the earth, and all mankind. Everything on dry land that had the breath of life in its nostrils died. Every living thing on the face of the earth was wiped out; people and animals and the creatures that move along the ground and the birds were wiped from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark.

Mark 3: 7 – 19

Jesus withdrew with his disciples to the lake, and a large crowd from Galilee followed. When they heard about all he was doing, many people came to him from Judea, Jerusalem, Idumea, and the regions across the Jordan and around Tyre and Sidon. Because of the crowd he told his disciples to have a small boat ready for him, to keep the people from crowding him. For he had healed many, so that those with diseases were pushing forward to touch him. Whenever the impure spirits saw him, they fell down before him and cried out, “You are the Son of God.” But he gave them strict orders not to tell others about him.

Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons. These are the twelve he appointed: Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter), James son of Zebedee and his brother John (to them he gave the name Boanerges, which means “sons of thunder”), Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

Ephesians 4: 1 – 16

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says: “When he ascended on high, he took many captive and gave gifts to his people.”

(What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves,and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.


Today’s music comes from Haiti, El Salvador, and Nigeria. Enjoy!



May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you: wherever he may send you;

may he guide you through the wilderness: protect you from the storm;

may he bring you home rejoicing: at the wonders he has shown you;

may he bring you home rejoicing: once again into our doors.

Feel free to join the discussion.
You can share your church struggles and concerns.
Let’s also use it as a time to encourage one another spiritually.
What have you found spiritually encouraging lately?
Do you have any special Bible verses to share, any YouTube songs that you have found uplifting?


Photo credit: Kathi

Trite, Unhelpful, and Demoralizing Responses to Wives in Harmful Marriages


I am posting a comment that came in on yesterday’s post Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Stuffing Feelings and Pretending to Be Joyful by someone who used the name, Auislucky. Auislucky mentioned at the bottom of her comment that she didn’t want me to post her comment if it would hurt someone. I don’t think it will. In fact, I think it will help many who read it. Auislucky’s marital issues, and the responses she’s received are not uncommon. They are harmful. They give no hope, and they put the blame and responsibility on the victim, not the perpetrator. This is not right!


by Auislucky

Read the Bible, pray and don’t rely on others to make you happy.”img_4363

The advice I’ve been getting for 17.5 years. My story is far less serious than so many others but I’m so sick of faking it. Is it really God-honoring to present to the world a happy little family while dying inside?

3 months into the marriage he got fired from his job as youth minister for looking at pornography on the church computer. And it was my fault. He felt I was favoring my dog over him. Every time he fell back into it, it was because of something I said or did. He says he knows it’s wrong and wants to quit so everyone believes his sincerity. I see him controlling the outward results without dealing with inner issues. We don’t share a bed (my choice because of the shame and humiliation), barely talk, don’t do anything alone if at all possible.

For my part, I got myself into an 8-year affair. I don’t blame him directly for my choices but even my counselor says it wouldn’t have happened had I not been so lonely and betrayed. I haven’t had contact with the other man for 1.5 years and we’ve been in counseling for a year. Nothing has changed. Everyone rushes in to “help” when I have a breakdown but then it’s back to ignoring it as long as I will pretend it’s ok. He’s willing to go to counseling and remove temptation but does that prove sincerity if he doesn’t address root issues?

“He doesn’t come home drunk and beat you.”

Yes, I know it could be much worse. But there are times I wish he would hit me so I have a “legitimate” reason to leave. I realize how ridiculous and disrespectful that sounds. By no means do I want to demean those in worse situations, I just say it to show where my messed up mind goes. I would live this life 100 times over to save one woman from real abuse. I struggle daily wondering if I’m just being selfish and ridiculous.

Please don’t post this if it will hurt others. I’ve been following this blog for some time and just felt I needed to get this out. I really appreciate how you give a voice to those who feel they have none.


What would you say to this woman that would be helpful, encouraging, and give her hope?

Book Review Series – “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Stuffing Feelings and Pretending to Be Joyful

The Power of a Transformed Wife: Lori Alexander, Trusting God, Emotions


-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews if you’d like to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8 – Part 1   Chapter 8 – Part 2    Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12   Chapter 13   Chapter 14


Chapter 15 – The Disciplined Mind: Trusting God & Doing Good

I must admit, it is getting more difficult to read through The Power of a Transformed Wife and garner up the motivation required to continue writing these reviews. I guess I need to trust God to get me through.

This entire chapter can be summed up with the following: 1) Life sucks, 2) Trust God, 3) Think good thoughts, and 4) Do good. Well, this is all fine and dandy if you’re not in an abusive relationship, dealing with anxiety or depression, dealing with a looming financial crisis, or experiencing a chronic medical condition – all of which Lori’s readers have commented on her blog or Facebook page. But, wait! Lori does deal with chronic pain, so what is her answer? Continue reading

Happy New Year and Personal Update


I hope everyone has had a good Christmas and New Year’s holiday celebrating with family and loved ones. I’ve had a nice break from school. I had plans to get things done, but wasn’t too successful. But that’s okay, I’m listening to my body tell me that self-care is more important, and things can wait. That’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way before!

Word Press sent a notice congratulating me on 5 years of blogging. Spiritual Sounding Board went public on January 1, five years ago!  Prior to that, I had a different blog, primarily about my personal experience at Beaverton Grace Bible Church and the goings on of the defamation lawsuit my ex-pastor filed against me and four others.

Last year was difficult, yet rewarding. Most of my regular readers know that I went back to school a few years ago to get my Bachelor of Arts in Cyber Security. I didn’t know if I could keep the blog going with my full-time school load. Thankfully, between Kathi’s and my busy schedules, we’ve been able to keep plugging along. Continue reading

Bethlehem Baptist Church Excommunicates Victim of Domestic Violence

Bethlehem Baptist Church, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Excommunication, Spiritual Abuse


Over a year ago (November 1, 2016), I posted the article, 1-1/2 years Later, Bethlehem Baptist Church Doesn’t Seem to get Domestic Violence: A Personal Story. I have a followup to that article.

For those who have never read the story, I will repost most of the article here, and then will catch you up on new developments.

1-1/2 years Later, Bethlehem Baptist Church Doesn’t Seem to get Domestic Violence: A Personal Story

Nov. 1, 2016

Almost 1-1/2 years ago, I wrote an article about John Piper’s former church, Bethlehem Baptist Church (BBC) regarding domestic violence, Encouraging Shift from Bethlehem Baptist Church Regarding Domestic Abuse and Care for Abused Women. Around that time, BBC pastor, Jason Meyer, preached a sermon and humbly expressed how he and his church had not handled domestic violence appropriately.

You can listen to the sermon or read the transcript here: Fooled by False Leadership

The following is the opening paragraph of the Elders’ Statement which was also released at the same time:

Elders’ Statement on Domestic Abuse
We, the council of elders at Bethlehem Baptist Church, are resolved to root out all forms of domestic abuse (mental, emotional, physical, and sexual) in our midst. This destructive way of relating to a spouse is a satanic distortion of Christ-like male leadership because it defaces the depiction of Christ’s love for his bride. The shepherds of Bethlehem stand at the ready to protect the abused, call abusers to repentance, discipline the unrepentant, and hold up high the stunning picture of how much Christ loves his church.

I was cautiously optimistic about the steps Bethlehem Baptist seemed to be taking. They brought in professionals to help them learn and understand domestic violence signs. They professed to want a heart to empathize with women who were harmed by domestic violence.

One domestic violence case was ongoing at that time. Natalie had reached out to the Bethlehem Baptist leaders for help years earlier. But now, the church leadership was doing a complete overhaul in how they were going to counsel when there was abuse involved . . . . or so they implied.

One of the most destructive forms of abuse is emotional abuse. It’s destructive because it can go on for years. A wife (or husband) can get so beaten down by emotional abuse that she minimizes her own abuse, or blames herself for the abuse. When a woman finally understands what is happening to her and eventually reaches out for help, a lot of time has gone under the bridge. The very last thing she needs is to prove to her church leadership that she is being abused. But that is exactly what happens to so many survivors. The victim has to plead her case before her church leaders and is put on trial to see if the abuse she has claimed is in fact true.

It’s important to note that the church leaders at BBC were trained to understand about emotional abuse. Here is a quote from Pastor Meyer’s sermon from 1-1/2  years ago:

Emotional abuse is a pattern in the use of words and actions to assault, reorder, and control the emotions and affective state of the other person for the achievement of selfish ends. The more intense and longstanding the pattern, the more destructive it is to people.

So now, 1-1/2 years later, where is Natalie, and how has her case been handled?

I’ll let Natalie’s words speak for herself: Continue reading

SSB Sunday Gathering – December 10, 2017

Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.


-by Kathi

Today is the second Sunday of Advent. Advent season is meant to be a time of celebration; celebrating the birth of Christ and the anticipation of his return. May this Advent season bring peace, love, and joy to you.

Scripture for the next four Sundays is taken from the Book of Common Prayer, Readings for Year 2. If you are interested, a daily reading devotional may be found here. Continue reading

SSB Sunday Gathering – November 26, 2017

Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.


-by Kathi

Discussion: The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight

From Chapter 12 – What Did Women Do in the Old Testament?: Women in Church Ministries 2

What we learn from Genesis 1-2, then, is that God originally made Adam and Eve as mutuals, that the fall distorted that relationship, and that the story of the Bible’s plot leads us to see redemption in Christ as new creation. Both Jesus and Paul see in Genesis 1-2 the original design for what Christ’s redemption brings to men and women in this world. If there is any place in the world where this mutuality should be restored, it should be in the church. Ironically, it can be the least redemptive place of the week!

Reading the Bible as a story means we must start at the beginning. Genesis 1-3 accounts for the creation of mankind and the fall of mankind. Complementarians tend to use this account to confirm that women must be in submission to men due to the curse placed upon woman. Submission became a permanent model for relationships in home and church.

From an egalitarian perspective, mutuality was destroyed, however, it has been restored through Christ. The brokenness between men and women and the beginning of the story has been restored toward the end of the story.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Continue reading

SSB Sunday Gathering – November 19, 2017

Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.


-by Kathi

Discussion: The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight

From Chapter 12 – What Did Women Do in the Old Testament?: Women in Church Ministries 2

What did women do in the Bible? If we want to be biblical, this question needs to be asked and answered. Until it is, we will not be biblical. I believe reading the Bible through tradition has prevented us from asking the question, let along answering it.

I’m leaving this short and sweet on purpose today. What did women in the Old Testament do? What stories of women in the Old Testament stand out to you? Continue reading

SSB Sunday Gathering – November 12, 2017

Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.


-by Kathi

Discussion: The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight

From Chapter 11 – The Bible and Women: Women in Church Ministries 1

McKnight continues Chapter 11 discussing that women in ancient Jewish culture were viewed as inferior. There were the stand alone women, such as Esther and Deborah, however, this was the general view.

This view then transitioned into the early church. Continue reading

Book Review Series – Lori Alexander’s “The Power of a Transformed Wife” – Repeat Five Times: Yoga Pants Are Not Modest!

The Power of a Transformed Wife, Lori Alexander, Modesty


The only thing anyone should be lusting over is being able to do that fantastic yoga pose. Oh, how I would love to be that flexible!

-by Kathi

This is a book review series of The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander. If you are just joining us, you may click on previous chapter reviews if you’d like to catch up.

Introduction & Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Chapter 8 – Part 1   Chapter 8 – Part 2    Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12

Chapter 13 – How are You Dressing?

We have finally come to the chapter in which women are temptresses in their yoga pants and swimsuits. Yes, I admit to having read some of this chapter whilst wearing tight-fitting exercise pants. In order to not offend some readers, I shall wear loose-fitted pajama pants while writing this out.

Let’s start with the very first paragraph: Continue reading

Single (Divorced) Woman Asks About Her Friendship with a Married Man from Church

Single Christians, Divorced Christians, Cross-Gender Relationships, Church Response


A woman found SSB and sent me an e-mail about her situation. The e-mail is from a single/divorced woman and the friendship she has with the praise and worship leader at her church. She, too, is on the praise and worship team. This kind of situation seems to get people nervous. Evidently, single women should not have a friendship with a married man.

Here is her e-mail (which she gave me permission to post): Continue reading