Husbands Who Don’t Spiritually Lead are a Problem

Dale Partridge, Complementarianism, Male Headship

-by Kathi

Screenshot 2018-09-18 at 9.53.38 PM

The above post by Dale Partridge was shared on the SSB Facebook page a few days ago. Text reads:

Christian husbands, if another man is teaching your wife more about God than you are, you have a problem. It is not your pastor’s job to be your wife’s spiritual leader. It’s your job. Now, there is nothing wrong with your wife listening to a weekly sermon but there is something wrong if she’s turning to other men for guidance and shepherding that you should be providing. The passivity of Christian husbands in the church must stop. Talk to your wife about God. Initiate daily prayer. Lead a family devotion each morning. Read the scriptures together and answer her questions. We’ve become so comfortable outsourcing our biblical role to the Sunday pastor that we’ve forgotten the command God has given to his sons. #UltimateMarriage

Husbands are the spiritual leaders over their wives? If a husband is not the spiritual leader, he is the problem. The only positive thing I can say about this is that finally, for once, the wife is not the problem!

The issue I have with this is that nowhere in the Bible does it state that the husband is the spiritual leader over the wife. The author states at the end that we have “forgotten the command God has given to his sons.” What command? Where is this?

It’s okay for a wife to listen to a weekly sermon? Well, thank you very much. I’m not sure if he is being condescending about the wife listening to a sermon or to the husband for not preaching to his wife.

So what is a husband supposed to do? Initiate prayer, lead family devotions, read scripture with his wife, and answer his wife’s questions about scripture. My question here is: why can’t a wife do these things on her own?

Why can’t a wife read scripture on her own? Why can’t a wife lead family devotions? Why can’t a wife seek out the answers to her questions about the Bible? Why does a wife need a husband to initiate all these things on her behalf? If a single woman is able to read and study scripture on her own, is that ability lost as soon as she becomes married?

As you can see, this post leaves me with so many more questions than answers. I think it simply comes down to the fact that nowhere in the Bible is it stated that any person is to act in an intercessory role for someone to God. All men and women have full access to God. All men and women have access to the gifting of the Holy Spirit.

This is nothing more than extra-biblical nonsense that places a huge burden on the husband.

Galatians 3: 23-29:  Before the coming of this faith, we were held in custody under the law, locked up until the faith that was to come would be revealed. So the law was our guardian until Christ came that we might be justified by faith. Now that this faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian. So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith,for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

44 comments on “Husbands Who Don’t Spiritually Lead are a Problem

  1. It always amazes me that all of the scripture points to us as individuals alone having a relationship with God. And yet, all of a sudden there is some magical mandate that men are to lead wives?
    One misinterpeted verse outweighs the rest of scripture?

    It’s a boneheaded idea is what it is.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. “We’ve become so comfortable outsourcing our biblical role to the Sunday pastor that we’ve forgotten the command God has given to his sons.”

    Would this be an inconvenient time to remind him that we are all sons of God? (For all who are allowing themselves to be led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. Romans 8:14)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “forgotten the command God has given to his sons.” What command? Where is this?”

    I was wondering the same thing, but then I remembered that comp is nothing more than idolatry. Dale is very insecure. There are so many reasons why he might be. It is obvious he needs much coddling, pampering, and babying. What a scaredy-cat. His wife might learn something from preacher man that does not benefit Dale, but does benefit her.

    If I was Dale’s wife I would tell him to get his inexperienced head out of his childish @ss. And I will just stop worshipping his god altogether. That is basically what I did. Got fed up with all the childish misogyny and stopped promoting it. When you are a comp wife or daughter you dont worship one thug you worship two. Now I dont have any thugs in my life.

    Why would I ever worship a god like this? It is obvious he does not love women, care about women, respect women, are is grateful to women for giving him worshipers.

    The comp god reminds me of the angry misogynistic pervert slob you try to avoid when you go to town.

    “if another man is teaching your wife more about God than you are, you have a problem. ”

    Dale’s brainwashed wife has the problem and any poor little girl trapped in his lying home.

    Why cant the wife teach herself? The man who sexually abused me was comp and so was my father who belittled rape and mocked raped children. Know-nothing Dale and his evil ilk are telling women who were raped as little girls that rapist and men who mock raped children are their conection to God and better understanders of God. Growing up with the comp god I can believe this. Because the comp god is a pro little girl rape, pro wife rape, pro child abuse, barbaric nightmare.

    And I know what comp husbands teach. Wives have to kiss kiss kiss husband @ss at all times at all cost to her and the children. She has to have sex against her will. She has to pretend she respects her stupid, childish, selfish, absurd husband as he pretends things are true that aren’t and as he degrades her to lift himself up.

    It looks very much like comp families are nothing but a bunch of mini-cults pretending the father/husband’s fetishes are godly and the family has to worship the creepy father/husband.

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  4. His teaching reminds me of the comp pastor who said that husbands have a built in congregation in their family, and they are the pastor of that little church. There’s no example of any family being portrayed that way in the New Testament, but the patriarchy preachers and teachers are promoting a lifestyle and not life in Christ as revealed in Scripture.

    As for single women, I would bet that he’d say their fathers are the ones responsible to teach them until they marry. Again, there’s no scriptural support for this but I figure that would be the likely take on it.

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  5. I think what Dale is really afraid of, although he doesn’t come out and directly say it, is his wife becoming emotionally attached to her pastor, and the possibility of that leading to some type of extra-marital spiritual affair. His comments have insecure written all over them……

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Christian husbands, if another man is teaching your wife more about God than you are, you have a problem. It is not your pastor’s job to be your wife’s spiritual leader. It’s your job.

    This whole ‘spiritual leader’ thing in a marriage is gross to me.

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  7. I do agree that single women are capable of “access to God” just like a married woman.

    (As Lori Alexander comparison of “singleness” if that woman’s name is “Ruth” and she “isn’t a virgin” and is “husband searching singleness” then she isn’t worth the time of day.)

    As far as MEN taking on the role of spiritual leader? Well, I believe SINGLE MEN can be “spiritual leaders” in their own way! John the Baptist? Paul?

    In summary, if a single woman can’t find “God” while single (and she needs a husband), then she doesn’t understand truth (Act_21:9  And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy.) If a single man can’t find “God” and needs to find a way to avoid being a spiritual leader and stand for what it right, just by marrying a woman, then he doesn’t present the truth (Act_2:17  And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:)

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  8. Why cant the wife teach herself?

    She probably does, if she cares to learn. Or she reads whatever she likes to read and listens to what she wishes to listen to. You know half these wives are basically patting their dumb husbands on the head for ‘leading’ so they don’t hurt their feelings. Just like they might have to hold themselves back from being the strong and smart women so men can continue to pretend to be superior.

    This is why comp is a sham. It requires women to pretend to be less than they are. That’s not a sensible system.

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  9. His teaching reminds me of the comp pastor who said that husbands have a built in congregation in their family, and they are the pastor of that little church. There’s no example of any family being portrayed that way in the New Testament

    Instead we have women’s churches (with no mention of their husbands) and a husband and wife team teaching (gasp!) a man the bible.

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  10. I just chuckled when I read Dale Partridge’s personal “meme – ie. “me-me” ” comment. I used to hear this rotten fruit from the male leadership as well as from the “Pentecostal/charismatic” women folk in my former abusive Baptist c’hurch. Folks such as these sure mandate a “covering” of some sort over the individual believer’s spiritual state, as if the Holy Spirit isn’t capable of piercing the souls by His power alone..……always need a human mediator of sorts, for Christ isn’t powerful enough! So much for Jesus being the Good Shepherd in our lives…….folks are in need of another mediator, a human one…..especially women folk due to their status as “half a person.”

    Great post Tim! I enjoyed your points and was recalling the very same Scriptures of our being the “royal priesthood of believers” as I was laughing at Dale’s heresy! You made my whole day!

    I may be wrong on this one, so please correct me here if that is the case. The Scriptures verses found in Revelation 22:18-19 always come to mind when I hear, read, or watch those within the c’hurch community living out the vain philosophies of man…..”For I testify to everyone who hears the words of prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things that are written in this book.”

    So why do men, such as Dale Partridge, desire to add to the Holy Scriptures, words/concepts/practices that are not there? And what about the “sons and daughters of our LORD, prophesying?

    You are right, Kathi…….lots of questions for this individual.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Why did Mary and Martha listen directly to Jesus? Where were their husbands? Or the woman at the well… why didn’t Jesus go looking for one of her husbands instead of speaking directly to her? And what about all the women who ministered along side of Paul? It says nothing about their husbands… the women were certainly listening to Paul’s teaching but were not married to him. The one NT church example we have of a woman listening to her husband was Ananias and Sapphira… and that didn’t turn out so well. 🙂

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  12. Ha! Yeah, that is reason #586 why I left my Continuing Anglican parish. They started having men’s Bible studies to get husbands more involved with being spiritual leaders at home–i.e., leading prayer and Bible study for both wives and children. (You can tell it’s for the wives to be led, too, because they don’t get their own Bible study time to teach them to be good spiritual leaders at home.)

    I had enough of that already in my 20s with Calvary Chapel, my early Vineyard upbringing, and then the ever popular neo-Reformed crowd that seems to have taken over YouTube, i.e., Paul Washer and friends. I think in my youth it appealed to me because my father was just so AWOL in my life and such an abusive hypocrite that you wouldn’t want to do Bible study time with him. So as many female childhood abuse victims do, I still ached for that fatherly mentoring, and as such the teaching somewhat appealed to me as all the stuff my father should have done if he were a decent human being, and thus all the stuff I’d want my prospective husband to do to make up for my father’s lack.

    Fortunately, God grew me up in this department, and taught me that He is my Father, and will teach me, and that trying to lump all the expectations I had for a father onto a husband was not healthy. An earthly Christian father’s job (and a mother’s job as well) is to introduce their children to Jesus. The children shouldn’t still be dependent on someone else to constantly introduce them to Christ when they are grown. In the end, husbands who make themselves Daddy 2.0 to their wives just end up stagnating their growth, and getting in between a real relationship with God. It’s like constantly having a chaperone hovering around you when you’re trying to get to know a friend. You just can’t go more intimately into your friendship with the third wheel hovering around and organizing all your events together.

    Not to mention, what this Facebook poster is describing is the role of pastors, which has strict qualifications. Do all husbands meet these qualifications? NO! Hence, automatically assigning husbands pastoral duties just because they are married and male is absurd.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Going further on my last post’s thought on husbands needing to be qualified to be pastors, I’d like to ask the dweeve who made the Facebook post a question:

    Should men who want to marry go through the same rigor that a person wanting to be a pastor goes through to prove he is qualified for the job–that he meets the Biblical qualifications to be pastors. I know far too many churches are McDonald’s churches where anyone can call themselves a pastor and start their own church. But for more mainline churches that have been in existence longer than 10 seconds, there are far more hoops to jump through before a person can have hands laid on him and be ordained. In Anglican circles, going to seminary helps a lot. Even then, there are a few years of doing volunteer work like being a warden and taking care of the church grounds. You know, menial serving type stuff. After a few years of that, they might consider you for being a deacon. And then, maybe, after a few years of that, you can be ordained a priest/presbyter/pastor. I’m sure Lutheran and other denominations have similar rigor.

    So, why isn’t this same rigor being applied to all men to discern if they are qualified enough to marry and pastor their families? Put your money where your mouth is, I say. If you really believe that a husband is pastor of his family, then you’ll make sure men can’t get married without proving that they meet pastoral qualifications.

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Apart from the complementarian/egalitarian debate, it strikes me that Paul’s instructions for elders in 1 Timothy and Titus presume that they are “able to teach.” That would presume that there were a large number of men who were not able to teach, and that their wives would as a result get most of their instruction from pastors as a matter of necessity.

    I’m all for individual and family devotions, and commend them as great ways to get to know the Scriptures and develop future leaders for the church, but I just can’t see a way of arguing from Scripture that it is necessary for a husband to lead his wife this way because some are simply not capable.

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  15. Bike Bubba, that’s a good point. I’ve long thought this whole idea of husbands as spiritual leaders came from Paul’s teaching that if a woman has a question, she should ask her husband at home since it was inappropriate for a woman to speak in church. How this would have worked in later centuries in some pagan societies before the invention of the printing press and widespread literacy, I’m not sure. The whole idea of private, daily family devotions in every household with the family Bible is a post-Reformation, modern one.

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  16. What do women do when their husbands die? Two of my great grandmother’s husbands died leaving behind six underage kids and nine underage kids. My father died when my mother was in her early thirties.

    Katy said, “You are right, Kathi…….lots of questions for this individual.”

    And I doubt he has the intelligence or spine to answer them.

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  17. Complementarianism makes maleness an addition to the Gospel, a necessary component of it.

    Putting aside women who are divorced, widowed, or who have never been married…

    What if we had a Sci-Fi scenario where some contagion wiped out every male on the planet, leaving only females?

    Or, a situation where one nation invades another one and kills all the males, then leaves, after they plunder the resources of that nation?

    Or, what if a cruise ship of only women crashes on a dessert island, no men on the ship or the island, and a group of all-women are marooned for months or years?

    Are complementarians saying that women-only environments such as these are going to be god-less?

    Or, if there is a copy of the Bible on that cruise ship, not a single woman, in the dessert island scenario, can hope to properly understand that Bible?

    By getting into all this stuff about a wife needing a husband to teach the Bible to her…
    Are complementarians saying that a man must be present to explain God (and/or the Bible) to women, or something of that nature?

    The Bible says there is only one mediator, or one individual necessary to act as conduit from human to God, and that is Jesus of Nazareth (who is second person o the Trinity, God himself).

    I bet this is another case of complementarians misunderstanding the New Testament.

    There is a passage or two in the NT that tells women to ask their husbands biblical questions when they get home if they are confused, but that was because in that cultural setting, some of the women were not as educated at that time and would interrupt church services to blurt out question, which would distract others present.

    But comps want to take that 2,000 year old cultural specific situation and apply it to all women today (or at least apply it to married women).

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  18. I listened to a radio podcast yesterday from a woman named Anni Cyrus, who was sold as a child bride to her husband at the age of 13 in Iran. Her podcast “Life of a Woman Under Sharia” compelled me to tears as does many of your comment threads Christianity Hurts. And I believe you are right, CH, as the parallels between the culture of Islam and D. Partridge’s flavor of a form of christianity are shockingly similar. The term “lordship” amongst titled and entitled folks with regards to the visible c’hurch leadership, is placed on the alter of worshiping people instead of Christ. How can this be?

    A number of years ago, the “covering” theology made its way into our small assembly. Most of the bizarro religious garbage such as the “covering,” came from Trinity Broadcasting Network and those nuts over there begging for our hard earned money. Needless to say, it was another necessity for us to have a “spiritual leader” covering us, as we were not capable of being “spiritually sound” on our own, without their “lordship” in our lives. We weren’t “saved” unless we had a “human covering” interceding for us. I found it fascinating, how the so called “leadership” came along side of us, like leeches, to suck out any information in which the charismatic AOG pastor man could use for his sermon series, then attributing this amazing insight to the holy spirit (like Mark Driscoll)…..because after all…..how could he know things about us without having conversed with us……hmmmmmm.

    Anni stated in her podcast that in Islam, and the culture of Muslim, women are considered half the person a man is, and the brain of a woman is nothing compared to the man. I wonder how many men who call themselves Christian, ie. followers and believers in Jesus Christ, would agree with the tenants of Islam?

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Oh wait, I think “desert” (from “desert island”) is spelled with only one “s,” but I put two in the word “desert” above, making it look like I was talking about cookies and cake. Anyway.

    Bike Bubba said,

    I’m all for individual and family devotions, and commend them as great ways to get to know the Scriptures and develop future leaders for the church, but I just can’t see a way of arguing from Scripture that it is necessary for a husband to lead his wife this way because some are simply not capable.

    Tell me about it. My ex was barely literate.
    _Gender Complementarianism Does Not Adequately Address, or Address At All, Incompetent, Loser, Or Incapacitated Men_

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  20. Daisy: do I need to tell you? :^) And regarding your mistake, I’d rather go to a dessert island any day, well at least if my blood sugar would tolerate it. (sorry, couldn’t resist)

    NJ: this is somewhat off topic, but I would hesitate to say that family devotions are solely a byproduct of Gutenberg and the Reformation. You have a tremendous body of history (Chaucer, shrines all over Europe) that indicates that those who were of faith had at least oral traditions whereby large portions of Scripture were passed down. Not the modern case of Dad opening his Bible and expounding and then everyone prays, but something a bit akin to it. The Hebrews had similar things going on which became Midrash, Mishnah, and then Talmud.

    Sometimes it seems they did it better than we do today even with the help of Gutenberg. (sigh)

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Daisy,

    My hand is raised…..please pick me to be invited to your “dessert island” as me taste buds as well, would profit from those sweet confections! Love to bake, so the idea of a “dessert island” make total sense to me…..sorry, I couldn’t resist either.

    So I have to beg the questions here, “Can a man who calls himself a “Christian” actually learn sound Biblical doctrine from a woman who professes Christ? Or is it a sin for a religious man to learn spiritual doctrines from a woman? Are men more spiritual than women, according to the Holy Scriptures? And is the wife in rebellion if she chooses not to have her husband as her “spiritual authority,” but instead chooses Jesus as her authority?

    I better go and have an apple turnover as me head needs a sugar rush……or do I have to ask my husband permission for that as well? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I’m going to comment here before I read the other comments because I don’t want them to influence my viseral reaction.

    I think it is a very lovely thing when a husband and wife are able to come together to pray and study the word no matter who initiates it.
    What struck me was the fact this author was enforcing the complimentarian view that the husband was the wife’s spiritual pastor. It was not the lead pastor of the church. That was the same public position of our complementarian church as well….until they didn’t agree with my husbands perspective about how to best meet my needs. Then it all changed. After all….HE was under THEM. Its a very different doctrine behind closed doors.

    They were upset when I sought professional counseling for my childhood abuse. That, in their eyes, was psychoheresy. They wanted to bring me under discipline, grill me and “fix” me. My husband stood in the way saying, ” I am closest to this and know her best. This will be harmful to her. As her shepherd I must protect her and say no.” Then their doctrine suddenly mutated. “You are not her shepherd. We are. You need to step aside and let us deal with this.”
    Thus my husband resigned his church position and tendered our resignation from church membership. I struggled with guilt over the fact that he gave up a position he loved to protect me when I was most vulnerable. But I will always love and respect him for that depth of love.

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  23. What bothers me most is that this guy is a church planter. We don’t need more churches perpetuating this silly notion.

    I’ve been watching him for a while. This is the first time I did a double take. Although, there are other posts that concern me as well in terms of his wife and children.

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  24. Another question to add to Kathi list via her educational post: “Does not the belief system of Dale Partridge teach women that in order to be “godly,” the woman/wife must thus be a “passive participant?”

    So what if the woman was more assertive in her faith in Christ alone for salvation, ie., meaning she can use her brain and her verbal skills, combined with the knowledge of faith scholarship to speak of the wonders of Jesus in her life?

    Mary 27 and Clockwork Angel discussed some important truths here….

    Mary 27 quote, “Why did Mary and Martha listen directly to Jesus?……Or what about that woman at the well…..why didn’t Jesus go looking for one of her husbands instead of speaking directly to her?” Precisely Mary27….and was not Jesus hated by the Pharisees for treating women with mutual love and respect?

    Clockwork Angel quote, “Ha! That is reason # 586 why I left my continuing Anglican Parish. They started having men’s Bible studies to get husbands more involved with being spiritual leaders at home -i.e., leading prayer and Bible study for both wives and children.” Yes, Clockwork, a most subtle and manipulative way to promote gender bias, inequality, and a religious caste system that models pagan religions.

    And compound this belief system with the pressure I received from the “important spiritual women” while attending the Baptist c’hurch, telling me “to encourage my husband to attend Promise Keepers with their husbands.” After carefully researching the “Promise Keepers movement” via the internet, needless to say, me vocal chords were joyfully silent in the encouragement department. Anytime a c’hurch or movement promotes the “leadership concept/heavy shepherding movement,” I know for certain this is the unbiblical model Christ was speaking of in His hatred of the Nicolaitan system mentioned in Revelation.

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  25. Falene, you have a truly Christlike husband. That’s awesome. What your story reveals of course, is a church where a husband’s ACTUAL job is to perpetuate the leadership’s doctrine. Not be a Berean.

    As far as a dessert island goes, if it was anything like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, I could kiss losing weight goodbye.

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  26. Hmmm?

    “Spiritual Leaders?”

    NOPE…

    Can NOT seem to find “Spiritual Leaders” mentioned…
    In my antiquated KJV.

    Why are these guys allowed to ADD… Errr… stuff…

    To the Bible?

    Seems, the only one in the Bible…
    Who is to be referred to as a “Spiritual Leader”

    Is… Well… The Spirit…

    The sons of God, Male and FeMale…
    Are “Led” by the Spirit of God…

    NOT “led” by a Mere Fallible Human.

    Rom 8:14
    For as many as are led by the Spirit of God,
    they are the sons of God.

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  27. Clockwork Angel @ SEPTEMBER 21, 2018 @ 10:01 AM

    I’m sorry your, “father was just so AWOL in your life”
    “and such an abusive hypocrite.” ====TEARS====

    That sadness can be a heavy weight. 😦

    I’m very happy for you, that eventually, you realized…
    GOD… He is my Father, and will teach me, ====SMILES====

    What a wonderful testimony. 🙂
    I need to be reminded.

    Psalm 27:10
    When my father and my mother forsake me,
    then the LORD will take me up.

    My natual family abandoned me when I became a believer.
    My spiritual family abandoned me when I asked the “wrong?” Questions.

    The benefit…
    I had NO place to GO… But to GO to…

    The “ONE” Leader
    The “ONE” Teacher
    The “ONE” Shepherd

    {{{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}}

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  28. Clockwork Angel

    Yes

    “Fortunately, ”God” grew me up in this department,
    and taught me that “He is my Father, and will teach me,”
    and that trying to lump all the expectations I had
    for a father onto a husband was not healthy.
    An earthly Christian father’s job (and a mother’s job as well)
    is to introduce their children to Jesus.
    The children shouldn’t still be dependent on someone else
    to constantly introduce them to Christ when they are grown.
    In the end, husbands who make themselves Daddy 2.0 to their wives
    just end up stagnating their growth,
    and getting in between a real relationship with God.
    It’s like constantly having a chaperone hovering around you
    when you’re trying to get to know a friend.
    You just can’t go more intimately into your friendship
    with the third wheel hovering around

    and organizing all your events together.

    Today’s so-called “Spiritual Leaders,” church leaders, pastors…

    Often get in the way of, a real relationship with God.

    Eventually youse gots to get ”IT” from Jesus… For yourself…

    NO middle Man…

    Jesus said…
    MY Sheep – Hear MY Voice – and Follow ME. Jn 10:27

    It is written in the prophets, they shall be ALL taught of God. John 6:45

    Eventually…

    Jer 22:22 KJV
    The “wind” shall eat up ALL “Thy Pastors,”
    (wind = ruwach = breath, spirit.)

    And youse gots to get ”IT” For yourself… From…
    The “GOOD” Shepherd

    The “ONE” Shepherd

    Jer 50:6
    “My people” hath been “lost” sheep:
    ”THEIR shepherds”
    have caused them to go astray,

    (Notice… It says – ”THEIR shepherds”)

    1 Pet 2:25
    For ye were as sheep going astray;
    BUT are now returned to
    the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

    {{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}

    Like

  29. Clockwork Angel

    Great question… And answer… @ SEPTEMBER 21, 2018 @ 10:01 AM…

    “…the role of pastors, which has strict qualifications.
    Do all husbands meet these qualifications? NO!’

    And your next comment… @ SEPTEMBER 21, 2018 @ 10:19 AM…

    “If you really believe that a husband is pastor of his family,
    then you’ll make sure men can’t get married
    without proving that ”they meet pastoral qualifications.”
    xxxxxxx

    I doubt they will take you up on your challenge…
    For potential husbands to ”meet pastoral qualifications.”

    They be sum tuff Qualifications… Yes?
    NOT many marriges taking place if this becomes the practice.

    Hey, It’s kinda impossible to find a “Titled,” paid, professional, pastor…
    Who can ”meet pastoral qualifications” in 1 Tim 3, and Titus.

    What is popular is NOT always “Truth.”
    What is “Truth” is NOT always popular.

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  30. I’m complementarian, but this guy is not only wrong but blasphemous. Christ and the Holy Spirit our our intercessors with the Father not any man, including husbands. In fact this could border on heresy if he believes he has some ability to jutify or sanctify his wife.

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  31. @ Katy

    “I listened to a radio podcast yesterday from a woman named Anni Cyrus, who was sold as a child bride to her husband at the age of 13 in Iran.”

    Can you imagine being sexually abused as a little girl and figure out your parents idolize a man who married and raped a six-year-old? Some Muslims say, “He did not have sex with her until she was nine.”

    I have been reading articles by women who have escaped Islam since 2001. Their fathers say to them many of the same things comp girls fathers say. They felt so many of the same things I felt growing up comp. I talked to an ex Muslim woman in Michigan who told me she wants to move to Portland Oregon and never see or hear another Muslim man for as long as she lives.

    I have gotten into fights with at least ten Muslim men online. With the way they were talking about rape and wife beating I was sure they were Christian men. Only to find out they were Muslim men. I have wondered why comp men think they are better. I believe it is because they are white and wear western clothing. And they are only interested in what hurts grown men. They think of Muslims as men who bomb white men, destroy white men’s property, and kill white men. They do not think about how vile Muslim men are to women and children.

    Both like to pretend they know women’s business and should be able to decide women’s business. Of course, at the man’s benefit.

    Muslim men and comp men lie to themselves and everyone else about how horrible they treat women and little girls. For example.

    One Muslim man said, “Christian men treat women and little girls worse then Muslim men do.”

    Another Muslim man said, “Biblegod was worse in the bible towards women and little girls than Muhammad.” I asked him what is worse than marrying and raping a child; he would not answer me.

    Three Muslim men were furious that people were condemning some men who gang-raped a thirteen-year-old girl in Yemen. They hated the girl and they wanted everybody else to hate her with them. They felt sorry for the rapist.

    A belligerent Muslim father told me, “If a father rapes his three-year-old daughter it is nobody else’s business. It is his daughter!” A wonderful example of Patriarchy.

    The Taliban, ISIS, Boko Haram, comp men, and Ariel Castro all think every man should have at least one woman to use, degrade, enslave, sexually abuse, force to breed against her will, and beat. And she not have the right to never see his face, hear his voice, or feel his hands again. But, as far as I know, Ariel Castro did not use the cop-out that it was God’s will, Allah’s will, the Bible’s will, the Qur’ans will, or blame the women. Conservative Muslim man and comp men are not tough enough to take the blame for their insecurities and selfishness. They have their gods, holy books, and women to take the blame for them.

    Another thing they have in common is they lie about people they don’t like. My comp parents lied to me about atheist, feminist, homosexuals, and scientist.

    I saw some little Muslim girls on TV saying Israeli soldiers were raping women in the streets. I would not be caught dead in a Muslim country and the only thing I would be worried about in Isreal is terrorist attacks.

    Comp men and conservative Muslim men both despise anyone who is an Infidel. Comp men wish they had the power the Taliban has. As someone who grew up comp and has been reading comp men’s self-serving preferences for the last eight years. I will say, comp men have more in common with them; than they don’t. Since they are not the ones being used, degraded, and trapped they don’t know what the hell they are talking about.

    It is liberals in America that stop comp men from doing what they really want to do to women and little girls. And liberals don’t do that great of a job protecting and helping women and little girls trapped with conservative Muslim and comp men.

    If you are told a tyrant in the sky will set you on fire for eternity and hate you if you don’t kiss your buffon father’s @ss and get married against your will; you are not free, and you do not have a choice. I ‘am out of that toxic world now. But, I still feel very sorry for little girls like I was and women like my mother who are still trapped in it. This includes women who are married to Muslim men and little girls with Muslim fathers.

    Like

  32. [OT: Franklin graham has a hot take on how attempted rape is actually ‘respectful’ and I just can’t…]

    Yet another unwanted look into a ManaGAWD’s sexual fantasies…

    Like

  33. @ChrstianityHurts:

    I have gotten into fights with at least ten Muslim men online. With the way they were talking about rape and wife beating I was sure they were Christian men. Only to find out they were Muslim men.

    Long ago I concluded that when Christianity goes sour, it curdles into something resembling Islam, with a similar Dark Side.

    One friend of mine said that Islam is an “end stage” religion. Kind of like a low-energy rest state in physics, easy to drop into but near-impossible to climb out of.

    Like

  34. @BlueRose:

    Christ and the Holy Spirit our our intercessors with the Father not any man, including husbands. In fact this could border on heresy if he believes he has some ability to jutify or sanctify his wife.

    And with the ability to justify/sanctify comes the ability to damn to eternal Hell.
    If you can Bless, you can Curse.

    Like

  35. @ChristianityHurts:

    What do women do when their husbands die?

    If you’re a husband with that attitude, why should you care?
    You’ll be gone (into Heaven?) and that’s all HER problem now.

    It’s similar to the “I Got Mine – Stick the Next Generation” attitude I encountered between generations instead of sexes.

    Like

  36. @ClockworkAngel:

    In Anglican circles, going to seminary helps a lot. Even then, there are a few years of doing volunteer work like being a warden and taking care of the church grounds. You know, menial serving type stuff. After a few years of that, they might consider you for being a deacon. And then, maybe, after a few years of that, you can be ordained a priest/presbyter/pastor.

    In other words, they have to serve an Apprenticeship before being ordained.

    (As opposed to Starting at the Top planting your own church.)

    Like

  37. A. Amos Love stated, “My natural family abandoned me when I became a believer. My spiritual family abandoned me when I asked the “wrong?” Questions.”

    Dear A. Amos,
    I am so sorry to read of your personal story and the heartache you may have went through/going through….and a certain loneliness perhaps. I have watched you minister to many here, including meself, and the circumstances that were meant to destroy you, have made you into a ministering servant by the power of the Holy Spirit. Not one single person or religious movement can destroy His infinite Work/Word in your life and the lives of believers!

    And we are blessed beyond measure when we see, read, and watch the power of Jesus working in the lives of individuals such as yourself. And I gotta tell ya, I am so encouraged in me faith today because of building up going on here in the Name of Jesus Christ, that there is no doubt in me mind that Jesus still Lives in the hearts and minds of His sheep.

    Be blessed back, A. Amos Love…..all the days of your earthly life! 🙂

    Like

  38. Katy

    Thank you.
    I am very blessed.
    Now that I have met you in this here digital universe. 🙂

    Your “words” are always a comfort and a blessing.

    You have shared some of your trials and groanings…
    “…and the circumstances that were meant to destroy you,
    have made you into a ministering servant
    by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
    xxxxxxx

    2 Cor 4:3-6
    Blessed be God,
    even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
    the Father of mercies, and the God of ALL comfort;
    Who comforteth us in ALL OUR tribulation,
    that “we” (WE, His Sheep, His Children, His Church.)
    that “WE” may be able
    to comfort them which are in any trouble,
    by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
    For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us,
    so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
    And whether we be afflicted,
    it is for your consolation and salvation,
    which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings
    which we also suffer:
    or whether we be comforted,
    it is for your consolation and salvation.
    xxxxxxx

    Yup – Seems sometimes…
    OUR tribulations.
    OUR sufferings.
    OUR afflictions.

    Are there so WE,ens sheep can learn sumptin…
    By being comforted by God, the God of ALL comfort…
    To be able to comfort others.

    Yup – sometimes…
    OUR tribulations.
    OUR sufferings.
    OUR afflictions.

    Have a benefit…
    For others…

    Be blessed…
    And continue to be a blessing…

    {{{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}}

    Like

  39. I have read about this type of male leadership plenty of times and they always make me cringe. This idea that a husband is to lead his wife by teaching her about god and she shouldn’t be taught by other men not even her pastor or bible teacher reminds me of many of these patriarchal Christian groups who rationalize wives not working outside the home because she will be under the authority of another man who isn’t her husband when she’s working under her boss and it could come in conflict with his authority. When I read that excuse, the only thing I can think of is what if her boss is a woman, which never seems to occur with these patriarchs, or why can’t the husband accept and respect his wife being under the supervision of a employer the same way a wife has to respect her husband being under the direction of his employer?

    And would about children? When they leave the house in the morning go to school until the afternoon, they are under the authority of another adult other than their parents who is teaching and training them. Plus, where does it say in the bible a husband is to be his wife’s teacher and her his pupil? Is he suppose to be more knowledgeable about God, Christ Our Savior more than she is? What if she is the one that is more knowledgeable in Christ than he is, what then? Those in authority who are leaders is given to those who has more wisdom, more knowledge and more experience, it has nothing to do with gender.

    I also written in a post on my new blog about how patriarchy in the Christian circle also is a disadvantage to men too as it puts extra burdens on them on the misconception of biblical mandated roles for men such as men being not only the leader, but the priest, prophet, sole money earner, problem fixer, final decision maker, manager of financial budget or affairs of the household. It’s his responsibility that his wife and children follow Christ and God will only hold him accountable. I never bought into these ideals and find them a bit unfair on men just as much as patriarchal ideals are oppressive to women and puts way too much unnecessary pressure on them. Of course man soft-comps don’t follow all these ideals either.

    Many will support male headship that although marriage is a partnership, the husband is the partner that has the main responsibility of the spiritual welfare of the family out of Christ-like self-sacrificial love. These soft-comps don’t believe men are smarter, have more wisdom in Christ, or are to boss their wives around and make all the decisions. In fact, they encourage, men to listen to their wives as God told Abraham to listen to Sarah when it’s necessary, include them in the major decisions and that’s it’s beneficial when both spouses make decisions together that affects the household with prayer and turning to God for guidance.

    For me the only thing the husband is to actually “lead” in is in self-giving, sacrificial love for his wife as Jesus loved the church giving up His life for it by, building her up, supporting, encouraging and enabling her in her spiritual growth and god-giving gifts and talents, provision for her needs and well being etc. This has nothing to do with some form of authority or leadership in that fashion. God Bless

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