One disturbing aspect of spiritual abuse is how it can leave us questioning our salvation and in a state of confusion. I received an e-mail this morning and asked if I could post it here for discussion. ~ja
Trouble Letting Go
Compared to some of the stories on your blog, my spiritual abuse is very mild. It happened at a Calvary Chapel. I knew something was wrong about a year in. The pastor and his wife are very prideful and unloving and don’t believe what they teach or in the power of God. It’s more of an academic thing which appealed to my flesh, I’m sure.
It has been about two years and I am just beginning to understand and to dig myself out. It affected me much more than my husband, and I even have questioned things that I was sure of before, namely my salvation. I am in a much better place now and have even gained some ground on sin in my life(anger). I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know that your blog and many of the conversations in the comments section were especially helpful and healing to me when I thought I was going crazy. I am having trouble letting it go, though. I feel like I need to DO something. My husband says just let it go and move on. It’s hard.
I did not grow up in church and only went there a few times with friends through the years. Calvary Chapel was the first church I attended regularly, and it was a bit of a shock to see that it did not match what I thought a church should look like from reading the Bible. I have been to a few churches since leaving and I feel them all to be the same with the prideful pastors. I am prideful too, so I do have some sympathy for them. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I have tried to find some believers who agree with the opinions about church and gifted teachers, but they think I’m being critical. Could you offer some advice, please?