The Dangerous Teachings of Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife

Lori Alexander, Depression, Suicide

-by Julie Anne and Kathi

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Lori Alexander (Facebook photo)

Lori Alexander runs a blog and Facebook page called The Transformed Wife. Her Facebook page has over 21,000 followers! She models her ministry using the Titus 2 idea of older women teaching younger women. After 23 years of a difficult marriage, she claims her marriage improved after she applied God’s principles to her life; so she feels qualified to share with her followers how she learned to submit to her husband, and thus, have a happy marriage.

Lori appeals to women who want to be godly and obedient wives, serving their husbands. But as Kathi and I read her articles, we are alarmed by some of her teachings. Some of them put wives in harm’s way. Other teachings minimize serious mental health issues, or attempt to solve them by simply praying.

We are thankful to a reader on our Facebook page that brought to our attention Lori’s recent actions. Lori wrote a post this past week about depression and suicide among women and linked the post to her Facebook page.

We were sent this screenshot which shows a woman stating that she contemplated taking her own life. Lori’s response is to go to the Bible for strength. Thankfully, another reader responded with the advice to seek help immediately through the suicide hotline. Continue reading

A Father Shares the Fallout His Family is Facing after Being in a High-Controlling Church

Spiritual abuse, children, mental health, high-controlling church, NAR, New Apostolic Reformation


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Special note:  I am in Chicago until 11/5 and would love to get together with survivors or those interested in helping survivors. If you would like to meet up, please contact me and let’s see if we can arrange a gathering.  spiritualsb@gmail.com   ~Julie Anne

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Today, we are going to read a brief personal story from Andrew. Andrew shares with us the harm his family faced and is still facing after being in a high-controlling, abusive church for 15 years.

There are a number of thoughts that struck me when reading his words.

  • First, Andrew seems to have a good understanding of what he and his family endured, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes this process can take years.
  • Secondly, he is not minimizing or trying to move past the current emotional and mental state of his family. It appears that he is appropriately addressing each conflict or bump in the road right now. Many times when people are in a spiritually abusive church, they want to move on so quickly (understandably), that they forget to take care of themselves and get their wounds healed.
  • Thirdly, Andrew is aware that this healing process is a journey. He’s taking a realistic look at where he’s been, what is happening now, and the work ahead, and knows there is no quick fix.

I believe there is a recovery process to get to wholeness after spiritual abuse. Process is the key word. It doesn’t work well to close the door to spiritual abuse and act like it never existed. It did exist and it did have an impact on lives. If we are quick to put it behind us without doing the necessary recovery work, we are likely to fall into similar traps.  When we go through recovery, we gain knowledge, understanding, have a new fresh perspective on who God is and how He relates with us, and we learn to forgive ourselves.  ~ja Continue reading

Troubling Tweets: Biblical Counseling to Treat Schizophrenia, Bulimia, Depression, ADHD?

Mental Health, Biblical Counseling, Geoffrey Kirkland, Addictions, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar, Bulimia, ADHD


 

This evening, I tweeted the following:

After seeing this tweet:

Who is Geoffrey Kirkland?

From Geoffrey Kirkland’s bio:

Geoff grew up in St. Louis and then moved to LA to go to the Master’s College. God saved Geoff in 2001. Geoff loves studying, preaching, and discipling men in the truth of the Word. But most of all, Geoff’s passion is to shepherd his wife, Elizabeth, and five children: Hezekiah, Tikvah, Emunah, Kesed, and Ahavah. Geoff is a graduate of The Master’s College (BA), The Master’s Seminary (MDiv and ThM), and Baptist Bible Seminary (PhD). Source

At the Christ Fellowship Bible Church website, we can read  their distinctives. Here is their distinctive on Biblical counseling:

Counseling & Psychology
We believe that the Bible is wholly sufficient for all of life and godliness. Therefore, the Bible has the answers for any and every problem that may arise. We find our wisdom and counsel from God’s Word and apply it to the specific counseling situation so that the Spirit-indwelt person can implement biblical principles and get to the root of the sin-issue and replace that sin with a Godly and holy virtue. We do not practice psychology, psychotherapy, or so-called ‘Christian psychology’; we practice biblical counseling.

 

So, what’s the big deal about this Biblical Counseling PDF?

Go ahead and see for yourself. This pdf on “Biblical Counseling” claims to have the answers on how to treat addictions, depression, schizophrenia, bulimia, ADHD, etc. I’ve highlighted a few examples below.

A brief excerpt from Biblical Counseling On Depression

The Root Issue Biblically, depression always involves hopelessness & it manifests a low view of God at that moment.

3  crucial biblical counseling diagnostic questions related to depression:

  1. Could God have changed the circumstances? (yes)
  2. Did he? (no)
  3. Is God good? (yes)

We must constantly repeat this in our counseling our own hearts (and others)

A brief excerpt from Biblical Counseling  On Eating Disorders

The Biblical Truth

Overeating Is Not an Addiction Some overeaters label themselves “food addicts,” believing they are addicted to food. However, addiction is not a biblical term. The world uses this terminology to describe the behavior of someone who is controlled by a substance. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines addiction in this way: “To devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively.” But the danger in labeling overeating as “addiction” is that it undermines the personal conviction of sin. If the problem is not sin, then you will look for solutions in a system of theories, not in the person of Jesus Christ. [This is fundamental to biblical counseling!]

A brief excerpt from Biblical Counseling On  Guidelines for Counseling the Sexually Abused

Bill Gothard spanking

I found this section very disturbing. The first part is a very tough pill for many survivors to swallow. Some will interpret this to mean that God has acted as an abuser because He is Sovereign and knew abuse was going to happen, yet didn’t stop it from happening:

God is sovereign (Job 1-2; Eph 1:11; Rom 8:28-29; Gen 50:20)

It doesn’t get any better here:

Why does God allow abuse?

(1) To bring deliverance to others. Gen. 50:20

(2) To build character in us. Rom. 5:3-5 James 1:2-5 I Pet. 1:6-9

(3) To equip us to comfort others. II Co. 1:3-11

(4) To display the works of God. John 9:1-3

(5) To help us to appreciate the hope we have in Christ. Rom. 8:18,28-29

I hope Elder-Shepherd Kirkland has a good insurance policy in order. It sounds like he could be “treating” folks out of the scope of his educational qualifications. Kirkland’s PhD is no MD, and I am concerned that his counseling could put people in harm’s way, especially those who need medical treatment.

 

 

What Can Happen to Sex Abuse Survivors When They Are Not Believed or Supported?

Sex abuse survivors need to be believed and supported

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Can High-Controlling Pastors Lead Their Members into Depression and Even Suicide?

 

Commenters share about high-controlling pastors who leave a path of mental health destruction, even suicide, because they cannot get appropriate help.

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Biblical Counseling and Mental Health Crises: Does it Always Work?

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I have been seeing a lot of response online regarding the death of Matthew Warren last week.

As you are probably aware, Matthew, age 27, was the youngest son of Pastor Rick Warren, and last Friday after many years of depression and despair, he ended his own life.

Continue reading