How to help a family member or friend leave a high-controlling church group or cult: spiritual abuse, trapped, thought reform, mind control, freedom “Mind control is the process by which individual or collective freedom of choice and action is compromised by agents or agencies that modify or distort perception, motivation, affect, cognition and/or behavioral… Continue reading Help! My Family Member or Close Friend is Trapped in a High-Controlling Church or Cult. How Can I Encourage Them to Leave?
Category: SURVIVOR STORIES
A Brief Blog Respite and JA’s Back
Update from Julie Anne Well, I didn't intend to be away for so long or I would have posted something. Truth be told, every day I planned on posting something "tomorrow," but as I followed my gut, that "tomorrow" didn't happen, so obviously it wasn't meant to be. I guess I needed the down time.… Continue reading A Brief Blog Respite and JA’s Back
The Challenge of Dealing with the Effects of Sexual Addiction, Pornography, Pedophilia by Family Members or Friends
Sexual addictions, pornography, pedophiles, family and friends of sexual addicts, S-Anon *** Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, Â who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves… Continue reading The Challenge of Dealing with the Effects of Sexual Addiction, Pornography, Pedophilia by Family Members or Friends
The Bully: Familiar Feelings, Completely Different Environment
Spiritual abuse, bullies, connections, gaslighting *** A few weeks ago, I started Spring term at college. The professor has a PhD in her field, and told us she's been teaching from high school level to grad school since the 80s. Â READ: she's no spring chicken and has a lot of classroom experience. As the days… Continue reading The Bully: Familiar Feelings, Completely Different Environment
JA’s Spring Break Happenings
*** I've been kind of out of blogging commission lately, except for commenting and moderating for the last few days. On Friday, I took my boys to the Oregon Coast and then spent Sunday through Tuesday in Portland and stayed at the parsonage of the 2nd oldest church in Portland - my friend, Pastor… Continue reading JA’s Spring Break Happenings
JA has put herself in blog time-out
So, yesterday I read a tweet that left me reeling. It made it difficult to concentrate on my school work, and got me thinking and emoting quite a bit. I've tried numerous times to put up a blog post today and yesterday and realize that I just need to let my emotions simmer… Continue reading JA has put herself in blog time-out
Spiritual Sounding Board: The Legacy That a Defamation Lawsuit Left to the Survivor Community
A guest post by brad/futuristguy. Today marks the four-year anniversary of what turned into a five-plus-month lawsuit by Charles O’Neal and Beaverton Grace Bible Church (BGBC) against Julie Anne Smith and four other defendants. He alleged defamation (in part because Julie Anne posted negative online reviews of him and his church), he wanted a jury… Continue reading Spiritual Sounding Board: The Legacy That a Defamation Lawsuit Left to the Survivor Community
The Fallout of Spiritual Abuse on Our Children
Children Harmed by Spiritual Abuse Yesterday, I was talking with my programming language tutor and mentioned that I had a blog. He asked what my blog was about and I told him the long story. He was absolutely dumbfounded by what he was hearing and kept shaking his head, not wanting to believe it, even… Continue reading The Fallout of Spiritual Abuse on Our Children
Spiritual Abuse: Trouble Letting Go
One disturbing aspect of spiritual abuse is how it can leave us questioning our salvation and in a state of confusion. I received an e-mail this morning and asked if I could post it here for discussion. Â ~ja Trouble Letting Go Compared to some of the stories on your blog, my spiritual abuse is… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: Trouble Letting Go
Spiritual Abuse: What Was the Last Straw That Caused You to Leave Your Abusive Church?
Spiritual Abuse - What finally made you realize you had to leave your church? *** *** I had already told my husband that I had to leave BGBC, with or without him, but I was hoping that he would come to the same conclusion without my influence. That finally happened after our close friend who was… Continue reading Spiritual Abuse: What Was the Last Straw That Caused You to Leave Your Abusive Church?
MIA
*** *** Sorry I've been MIA. Â It seems I get to publicly thank CONÂ once again. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have the skills that I have now to help my childhood community, Anderson Springs, which was nearly destroyed in the "Valley Fire" in California. My great-grandmother and grandparents bought the cabin probably in… Continue reading MIA
What Can Happen to Sex Abuse Survivors When They Are Not Believed or Supported?
Sex abuse survivors need to be believed and supported What happens when sex abuse survivors spend years trying to tell others of their abuse and it is met with deaf ears? What happens when family and friends turn their backs and ignore the abuse? In the next personal story, we will read a response to… Continue reading What Can Happen to Sex Abuse Survivors When They Are Not Believed or Supported?
Piper’s New Glasses and Seeing Clearly after Wearing Distorted Lenses of Spiritual Abuse
*** Seeing Clearly Again after Spiritual Abuse *** Have you seen this video which has been spreading around?  It is the cutest thing ever and shows a precious baby, Piper, who does not want her mama to put on her new glasses. But after she gets her new glasses on, Piper's face lights up as she hears… Continue reading Piper’s New Glasses and Seeing Clearly after Wearing Distorted Lenses of Spiritual Abuse
There is a Pedophile in My Family: The Tools I Gave My Children to Protect Them from Harm
*** Tools to Help Protect Children from Pedophiles and Sex Abuse *** After reading, A Betrayal at Home, an article on incest and child sex abuse, I became angry - angry about trusted individuals who should have been loving and protecting precious children, but instead silenced and victimized children by abusing them sexually, sometimes destroying their lives emotionally… Continue reading There is a Pedophile in My Family: The Tools I Gave My Children to Protect Them from Harm
Do you feel guilty because of pressure and high expectations from church leaders? You are not alone!
*** High-pressure church leaders, mandatory church attendance and guilt *** "Longtime Lurker" broke her silence a while back and shared her personal high-controlling church experience. Â I copied her comment for this post because I think her experience is representative of what others have gone through, and I can relate with a lot of what she… Continue reading Do you feel guilty because of pressure and high expectations from church leaders? You are not alone!
My Personal Mental Health Story: When Christians Say Potentially Harmful Words to Someone in a Mental Health Crisis
*** Mental Health, prayer, Bible, professional counseling, harmful advice *** A friend found this quote and was very disturbed by it. When I saw it, I was equally disturbed...no, make that horrified, because it brought me back to a very difficult time in my life when it was said to me by well-meaning Christians: *** ***… Continue reading My Personal Mental Health Story: When Christians Say Potentially Harmful Words to Someone in a Mental Health Crisis
Mark Dever’s New Book and Pastors Who Use Language to Control Their Members to Not Connect with Others Outside of Church-Approved Groups
Mark Dever, 9Marks, and other pastors using language to control and coerce members to not engage in outside activities without church endorsement Mark Dever's parachurch organization, 9Marks, is advertising a new book written by Mark Dever and Jamie Dunlop. The book entitled, The Compelling Community: Where God's Power Makes a Church Attractive (9Marks), is due to be released… Continue reading Mark Dever’s New Book and Pastors Who Use Language to Control Their Members to Not Connect with Others Outside of Church-Approved Groups
The Lingering Pain of Spiritual Abuse
The pain of her leaving caused me to go deep and question the character of God which was being tainted by a man and his crude ideas, perpetuating a church of hate and discord against anyone who didn’t agree with him and his pure doctrine ideologies.
Some Pastors Think They Get to Control the Details of Your Lives, Even the Colors of Clothes You Wear
*** Pastors who use their assumed position of authority to control personal lives. *** for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Hebrews 13:17 *** This is finals week at school, so in the interest of time, I'm going to resurrect an old post from March of… Continue reading Some Pastors Think They Get to Control the Details of Your Lives, Even the Colors of Clothes You Wear
Ex-Wife of Pedophile Shares Update about Court Sentencing and Her New Reality
*** Ex-wife of pedophile shares how she and her family are dealing with their new reality after his conviction and sentencing. *** One of our own, Brenda, had a difficult week last week.  You may recall, months ago, while searching the topic "wives of pedophiles" on the internet, Brenda found the article, Being Married to a Pedophile:… Continue reading Ex-Wife of Pedophile Shares Update about Court Sentencing and Her New Reality
Spiritual Sounding Board 