*** A spiritual abuse survivor shares her personal story *** A long-time reader recovering from spiritual abuse recently shared her story with me and has given me permission to share it with you. She is choosing to remain anonymous. It is very well written. I'm going to issue a trigger warning for content related to:… Continue reading Personal Story: I am a Spiritual Abuse Survivor
Category: Spiritual Abuse
When Christian Fathers Own Their Daughters, A Personal Story: I was a Female Slave in Training
*** A personal story of a father who used Christianity and the Bible as a weapon as he controlled his daughter and allowed her to be abused. *** In my recent article, So, what does John MacArthur really think about young women going to college? "Guest" made a comment that is too important to be buried in the… Continue reading When Christian Fathers Own Their Daughters, A Personal Story: I was a Female Slave in Training
Emotional Chaos after Spiritual Abuse
Spiritual abuse can leave damaging scars, some resulting in real difficulties, including anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks, etc. *** Longtime SSB reader, Refugee, left a comment with questions regarding the difficulty she is facing after having experienced spiritual abuse. Because she responded to an older article and I really want her to get answers (and likely… Continue reading Emotional Chaos after Spiritual Abuse
Can High-Controlling Pastors Lead Their Members into Depression and Even Suicide?
Commenters share about high-controlling pastors who leave a path of mental health destruction, even suicide, because they cannot get appropriate help. A while back, I found a comment at SGMSurvivor.com blog that cut like a knife. Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) is in the news a good bit because of the sex abuse lawsuits, but the subject… Continue reading Can High-Controlling Pastors Lead Their Members into Depression and Even Suicide?
SSB Sunday Gathering – June 28, 2014
Spiritual Sounding Board - This is our place to gather and share in an open format. Feel free to join in the discussion. Last Sunday, I posted this article, The Difficult Sundays after Spiritual Abuse, and invited discussion on the topic of what it is like on Sundays after having experienced spiritual abuse. Because of the big response,… Continue reading SSB Sunday Gathering – June 28, 2014
A Glimpse into the Heart of Spiritual Abuse
What can #TakeDownThatPost teach us about the nature of spiritual abuse? Thoughts from Boz Tchividjian and Patricia Evans. by Cindy Kunsman I don't know what the publishers of the Leadership Journal at Christianity Today hoped to accomplish when they published the article that initiated the #TakeDownThisPost campaign. In the wake of the problems,… Continue reading A Glimpse into the Heart of Spiritual Abuse
The Difficult Sundays after Spiritual Abuse
*** What does church look like for you after spiritual abuse? Do you still go? What do you do on Sundays? Sometimes I don't feel like going to church at all, but end up going because of my kids or commitments I've made. But if I were without children/commitments, I wonder where I would… Continue reading The Difficult Sundays after Spiritual Abuse
An Open Letter to Tullian Tchividjian, Including a Personal Note from a Sex Abuse Survivor
*** An Open Letter to Tullian Tchividjian, Including a Personal Note from a Sex Abuse Survivor *** Pastor Tchividjian, As a blogger who deals with abuse in church and connects with survivors of spiritual and sexual abuse, I wanted to share with you some of the feedback I have received regarding your recent Christian Post article, Tullian Tchividjian… Continue reading An Open Letter to Tullian Tchividjian, Including a Personal Note from a Sex Abuse Survivor
Loss of Perspective: The Cost of Enduring Abuse
Do individuals suffer harm when they remain in verbally or emotionally abusive relationships? Cindy Kunsman illustrates the effects through an account of spiritual abuse. By Cindy Kunsman, UnderMuchGrace.com After reading Julie Anne's post questioning whether divorce from an abusive spouse is actually a “sin,” I found myself thinking of the loss of perspective and… Continue reading Loss of Perspective: The Cost of Enduring Abuse
Lourdes, Lifeboats, and Bounded Choice: Part III (Raised in a Totalist Institution)
*** Using Katie Botkin's lifeboat analogy, Cindy Kunsman explores the “Second Generation Adult” and Lourdes Torres-Mantefeuel's alleged sex abuse by Vision Forum's Doug Phillips *** Part III in a Series Link to Part I Link to Part II By Cindy Kunsman, UnderMuchGrace.com On the same day that Lourdes Torres-Manteufel's petition was filed, the first cousin… Continue reading Lourdes, Lifeboats, and Bounded Choice: Part III (Raised in a Totalist Institution)
Did Stacy McDonald and Kelly Crawford Pass the Duck Test on Patriarchy?
*** Patriarchy or not Patriarchy - Stacy McDonald and Kelly Crawford respond to my recent article and reveal their true colors. Does it walk like a duck? Quack like a Duck? *** Suppose you see a bird walking around in a farm yard. This bird has no label that says 'duck'. But the bird… Continue reading Did Stacy McDonald and Kelly Crawford Pass the Duck Test on Patriarchy?
Spiritual Recovery and Leaving a High-Controlling Church: Free to Plant, Free to Bloom, Free to Be
*** What does freedom feel like for those who have left a high-controlling or spiritually abusive church? *** ** About a month ago, I was sent beautiful pictures by SSB's friend, BeenThereDoneThat (BTDT). At first I was drawn to them because cobalt blue is my favorite color. Cobalt blue exudes a soothing peace and tranquility for… Continue reading Spiritual Recovery and Leaving a High-Controlling Church: Free to Plant, Free to Bloom, Free to Be
The Gospel Coalition’s Joe Carter, Publicly Attacks Sarah Palin for her Use of the Word, “Baptism”
*** Joe Carter of The Gospel Coalition publicly attacks Sarah Palin for her use of the word "baptism" in the context of a NRA political rally. *** *** "Well, if I were in charge, they would know that waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists." ~Sarah Palin ** Joe Carter, an editor at The Gospel Coalition seems… Continue reading The Gospel Coalition’s Joe Carter, Publicly Attacks Sarah Palin for her Use of the Word, “Baptism”
Crumbling Foundation: How Do We Move on after Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard, our Spiritual Leaders, Have Failed Us?
*** How do we move on spiritually when we have based our lives around the teachings of spiritual leaders like Doug Phillips or Bill Gothard who have fallen? *** With the recent scandals involving Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard, it is as if the spiritual rug has been pulled for some families. These men were so… Continue reading Crumbling Foundation: How Do We Move on after Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard, our Spiritual Leaders, Have Failed Us?
Patriarchy: Doug Phillips, Bill Gothard, Doug Wilson and Damage Control
** Media and blogosphere are abuzz with sex abuse stories coming from Patriarchy proponents, Bill Gothard and Doug Phillips. Gothard releases a statement, other Christian leaders defend Patriarchy. ** I tell you what, my head is spinning this week with so many items of news regarding scandals by Christian leaders, especially within Christian Patriarchy. But… Continue reading Patriarchy: Doug Phillips, Bill Gothard, Doug Wilson and Damage Control
Calvary Chapel Pastor Bob Coy’s Story of Moral Corruption Leads Calvary Chapel Members to Share Their Personal Stories
*** The moral scandal of mega-church pastor Bob Coy leads others to come forward to tell their personal stories of corruption and abuse among the Calvary Chapel franchise of churches. *** *** You may have heard of the recent scandal by Calvary Chapel Ft. Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy. The church elders called a special church meeting… Continue reading Calvary Chapel Pastor Bob Coy’s Story of Moral Corruption Leads Calvary Chapel Members to Share Their Personal Stories
List of Christian Expressions or Phrases that Are Churchy or Christianese that can Trigger Negative Church Experiences
*** Popular phrases or expressions heard in Christian churches or groups that now identify as "churchy" or Christianese and now sometimes annoy the heck out of those of us who have been hurt in church. *** This is Sunday and some of you/us may have difficulty going to church for a number of reasons.… Continue reading List of Christian Expressions or Phrases that Are Churchy or Christianese that can Trigger Negative Church Experiences
Tony Miano: A Case Study in Spiritual Abuse and Bully Behavior
*** Digging a little deeper, analyzing the public words and behavior of Tony Miano. Does his behavior reflect a spiritual abuser and bully? Is this a man who should be in public ministry open air preaching and evangelizing? *** A reader sent me a link to Tony Miano's Facebook page cover photo (larger photo). Miano describes it:… Continue reading Tony Miano: A Case Study in Spiritual Abuse and Bully Behavior
Attempting to Set the Doug Phillips Record Straight: Part 1 – The Puzzle of Control
* * * Attempting to Set the Doug Phillips Record Straight: The Puzzle, Types of Control by Church Leaders, Vision Forum, Boerne Christian Assembly, and a Characterization of Phillips * * * BEFORE WE BEGIN: In this series of articles on Doug Phillips and Vision Forum, I will… Continue reading Attempting to Set the Doug Phillips Record Straight: Part 1 – The Puzzle of Control
Attempting to Set the Doug Phillips Record Straight: Introduction
*** Attempting to Set the Doug Phillips Record Straight: Introduction *** My perspective on his life is different —appreciation, gratitude, disagreement, sadness. His life is a reminder that whether your name is Alexander the Great, Leonardo da Vinci, or Steve Jobs, in the end, your physical body becomes food for worms. More importantly, your eternal… Continue reading Attempting to Set the Doug Phillips Record Straight: Introduction
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