Domestic Violence and Churches, Personal Stories, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Abuse, Stay-At-Home Daughters Movement, Women and the Church

When Christian Fathers Own Their Daughters, A Personal Story: I was a Female Slave in Training


A personal story of a father who used Christianity and the Bible as a weapon as he controlled his daughter and allowed her to be abused.


In my recent article, So, what does John MacArthur really think about young women going to college?  “Guest” made a comment that is too important to be buried in the comments.  “Guest” has posted at SSB 16 times, beginning in July. Although she does not post frequently, she has commented before on similar topics. I am honored and grateful that she would trust us with such a painful story, but one that needs to be shared.

Now, I want to say something else, too, before the naysayers come out.  Am I saying that any father who doesn’t allow his daughter to go away to college will also abuse or allow abuse to their daughters?  Absolutely not.

But I think it is important to say that when a father uses his position of authority and does not allow his daughter to think for herself, make decisions for herself, he is denying her personhood.  God did not give parents their children to own as objects.

Guest, I was shaking when I read your comment.  First off, I believe you. I believe your story. When reading your comment, I wanted to scream from the rooftop.  I’m so sorry you have endured such a painful life. No one should have to go through what you went through.

Thank you for sharing here, Guest. I hope your personal story will be a wake-up call for those in Christianity who are questioning Patriarchy, questioning headship, questioning what fatherhood looks like biblically.  I am really disgusted that some parts of Christianity are closely resembling the stories I hear about women in the Middle East.


I’m issuing a trigger alert (sex abuse) for the following story. The personal story is very disturbing.

Responses to Lawsuit Filed against Sovereign Grace Ministries



patriarchy, christian fathers

I was a female slave in training, by “Guest”



I was a female slave in training.

I was raised in a family like this. It HURT me so much as a little girl and teenager.
My father did NOT care how I felt physically, emotionally, or what I thought.

This is what I thought about him and god but never told him, my father is breeding me to be a self hating female slave for one of his friends loser son. I have to get married against my will, in marriage I have to have sex against my will, I have to be pregnant and give birth against my will. Does daddy or god care that this causes me great emotional and vaginal pain? No! they love it.

I was sexually terrorized as a child, the Christian man who did it loved to rub misogynistic bible verses in my face. As a little girl I was desperate for the right to say, no! I want to escape my misogynistic, bible loving, head of the house father. I wanted to never see my (women are to be bottom kissing female slaves for men) father again.

My father did not have to live with another man, my father did not have to be penetrated by a man, my father did not have to be submissive like a dog/slave to a man, my father did not have to be pregnant, my father did not have to give birth. But my selfish, heartless, misogynistic father loved sitting on his bottom rooting that women and little girls have to do these things.

My mother’s father saw to it that she got married the moment she graduated high school, she was seventeen and married a twenty-two year old, six-foot three, southern Baptist preachers son. My mother was ignorant, had the knowledge and power of a seven year old little girl. My father gloated and bragged to me as a little girl, that he, was the boss of my mother, that he married my mother because she had large breast, that the pain I caused her when she gave birth to me amused and pleasured him. My father spent my teenage years trying to convince me that “rape was not that big of a deal”, his words. My father did NOT love me, my father did NOT love my mother, he wanted us to kiss his bottom, she was his self hating, powerless, uninformed, little girl slave, and he wanted me to be a powerless slave for another Christian mans loser son.

My father was like my pimp, he was not a father, he was looking out for some boy he did not even know yet, never looking out for me, if it caused me pain but pleasured my father and future husband, so be it, it is my job to live in physical and emotional pain to pleasure my Christian father and Christian husband.

Empowered, informed women would not marry or stay married to these vile Ariel Castro centric men, that is why they use the bible, brainwashing, and lack of resources and education to get themselves and their loser sons female slaves. I grew up like this, me and my mother were demeaned, exploited, abused, and totally TRAPPED. Christian fathers are pimps.



photo credit: Lotus Carroll via photopin cc

24 thoughts on “When Christian Fathers Own Their Daughters, A Personal Story: I was a Female Slave in Training”

  1. Dear Guest,

    As I told you on the other thread, Julie Anne is a voice of reason and support. She knows exactly what you are saying and hears your cries. There are commenters who have been through much of what you are talking about – they are struggling, as well. They find not just sympathy, but an empathic embrace. Please know that you are not alone and that others’ hearts break over the kind of injustice and insensitivity you have experienced. You are a valuable person, worthy of respect and affection.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Guest,

    You’ve shared your past and you are indeed a survivor. But I’d love to know how are you now? This may be too personal to respond to publicly, but I want you to know that if you are not currently in a safe place or need assistance, please contact me privately. I care about you.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Sorry for the dyslexia. Bad grammar and spelling.

    I am safe and free. I have never gotten married, bad toxic feelings attached to marriage.

    I am a girly girl, I love to cook, clean, keep close to home, and I have always wanted lots of kids, I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom and devote my life to my children, I did not need to be forced or manipulated into wanting it, it came natural to me.

    I think being a mother is the best job and most beautiful job on the planet. If I was ever lucky enough to have children, I will tell them every day of my life that they are the best things that has ever happened to me.

    When I tell how I felt back then I am not trying to get sympathy, I ask that any one who hates for little girls to be used and exploited to speak up for them. It was a miserable feeling back then, I felt like god was my pimp. I have always had toxic gross feeling towards god, marriage, Christian husbands, and Christian fathers, I wanted to kill my self were I did not have to get married, even if that could send me to hell. Death and hell were preferable to being married to a Christian man. That is out of my life for ever now, I feel awful for little girls and teenage girls who are being manipulated and forced in to this. It is sex slavery and men/Christian fathers peddling female slaves for each others sons. it is not love, my father had no more love, respect, or interest in my wants and needs then the man who sexually terrorized me. As someone who was sexually abused, these men make me sick.

    Much Love, from Guest;)


  4. Thank you so much for giving us the update, Guest.

    I am so glad you are free. I can already tell that this article is being spread around. Your voice is going to helping to bring awareness to this horrific problem in “christianity.” Thank you for that!

    How did you get free? Did someone help you?


  5. Yes, thank you Julie Anne, lets focus on helping other girls. My father died when I was fifteen, he left my mother in much debt she knew nothing about and my mother had to go to collage to be able to make enough money to pay the bills.


  6. Guest, I am thankful that you are free. Perhaps someday you will find someone that is deserving of you and you will be blessed with those babies you want.


  7. I’ve been having dialogue on a different posting discussing Marriage Coercion. The kind described in this thread goes beyond toxic.

    I will add that Marriage Coercion is meddling.

    Meddling is described in scriptures as a very serious offense comparable to murder.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You’re right, Mark. Guest described it accurately on the likes of Ariel Castro. This case exemplified a different kind of deviancy in that God and the Bible were used as a weapon. The young ladies abused by Castro knew they were prisoners because they were tied up physically. Using Scripture would have caused a different type of torment where you second guess God, second guess authority figures who should be trustworthy. Guest was figuratively tied up spiritually and emotionally, as well as having endured sexual abuse.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. My heart breaks at the story of your childhood, and it rejoices at the life you now live. Believe me that I am not overstating things when I say that you are a hero to me.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Guest, I submit that the person you describe was not a Christian. Nor was he a father, nor even human.

    You, on the other hand, are more than a survivor. You are a victorious overcomer. May you be richly blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Guest, My heart bleeds for the sick and twisted way your father indoctrinated you. He must have cut a lot of pages from his Bible to rationalize his behavior. Guest, I pray that you pursue healing from loving, professional trustworthy people. Such counselors can help you find the sweet innocent young child who was wounded and teach her her value and to love herself. You would benefit from having someone close who can help you recognize who your true Creator is and that you are Created for love. God is a Spirit with both male and female attributes. Initially you can learn about the maternal,nurturing, caring and protective parts of God. The female side may feel safer. Later, the more masculine nature can be learned, but not in fear. These attributes show strength, bravery confidence etc. all these attributes come from God and can be apprehended by you!
    And of course there is a time to scream to God, “Why?”, “Where were you while I was being tormented”. “I hate you!” God is large enough to handle our anger. He weeps with us and mourns with us. He will help you purge all the pain onto Him. He is able to contain it and return love back to you. The road isn’t easy, but working from trauma towards health leads to victory. Then you eventually will transform from victim to survivor! I hope you meet a lot of good fellow travelers on this path. Love, Ann


  12. Yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say that the man who sired you was no follower or disciple of Christ. The gospels tell us what Jesus is like, and he sounds like anything but.

    I also echo Ann in recommending professional counseling and/or therapy so you can grow into as healthy and functioning a person as possible. I suggest you may want to avoid any nouthetic counselors, though. The bible tells us everything we need to know about God, but wasn’t intended to include everything that might be of help to a person. (Plus I can’t prove this, but I suspect a lot of nouthetic counselors are going to be very complementarian in their theology. Wouldn’t want anyone pressuring you to hurry up and get under the “spiritual covering” of male headship.)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Holy cow.
    Guest, I cried while reading this post. So many women raised in Patriarchy are living what you did. It is soul crushing. Yet, it’s being promoted today in certain circles as the “biblical” path for women.

    It’s so ironic (and my heart aches for you) that you already wanted a home and a family. What you lacked in your childhood home was love. And your poor mother!
    Excuse me while I go sob for a bit.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. My mother has graduated collage, she has always been book smart, she got perfect grades in collage. My mother is still the most naive person I have ever known, she is still little girl like. It is creepy that my father or any man would want to be married to a woman who is little girl like, trapped, helpless, uninformed, powerless. It makes me sick that my grandparents let her marry my creepy father.

    I feel so sorry for the Duggar girls, Grace Driscoll and her daughters, any woman who is married to a man who likes Doug Wilson, any daughters whose father likes Doug Wilson, it is traumatic listening to these things as a little girl. It gave me very gross, sick, scared feelings. I am fine now, I feel awful for the others still living in it.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Guest, I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through, and I am so glad that you escaped. I also grew up with an abusive father, who just happened to be an atheist. Ironically he did more to make me a fundamentalist than any preacher or sermon ever did, and I ended up as a young adult in a very misogynistic, controlling church. But the hubby and I are finally free now, and we are so glad that we left when we did so that we will not be raising our kids around that BS.

    Speaking of kids, don’t take this as advice, but more as information. You don’t have to be married or give birth to be a mom. There are thousands of kids in state foster care who need someone to shower them with love and be their biggest fan. You don’t have to be married or own a home or be a stay-at-home parent to foster or adopt via the state foster system. You just have to be financially self sufficient and show that you can provide a stable loving home. While those of us who have survived child abuse often have our own emotional baggage, we are also especially equipped to empathize with kids from rough situations. My youngest child came into our family via state foster care, and it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives. Being foster parents changed the way we think, and it was even instrumental in us leaving fundamentalism, because it changed the way we view faith, Jesus, human suffering, human rights, etc. While really heart-wrenching at times, it has also helped me with my own healing journey.

    I just noticed that this is a really old post. Oh well.



Thanks for participating in the SSB community. Please be sure to leave a name/pseudonym (not "Anonymous"). Thx :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s