I read a heart-wrenching story on CNN.com yesterday (In North Korea, a brutal choice) about North Korean defectors and what they have to go through to survive and get to freedom. It was very difficult to read. Some of the paragraphs grabbed my attention because of the similarities in leadership tactics between dictators and authoritarian… Continue reading Comparing the Two, Part 1
One Month and I Feel Good
** It's been one month since this blog was created. After noticing my Google reviews on Beaverton Grace Bible Church were being removed from the Google review website without any explanation, I began this blog to share my story because I felt my voice was being taken from me. I don't get this idea of… Continue reading One Month and I Feel Good
Christian Freedom
Let Freedom RingChristian freedom assumes one's ability to critique Christian teaching. Only in cults and other oppressively authoritarian environments is the freedom to critique what is being said taken away. Even the Apostle Paul says it is a noble and honorable thing to not receive what you hear Christians say (just because of who is saying it),… Continue reading Christian Freedom
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up, Part 1
I remember something that was taught. I think it was said at the ladies retreat and/or perhaps on a Wednesday night meeting, but probably not on Sunday (because Sunday's messages were recorded???). Anyway, the topic was about men/boys wearing the color pink. We were told that pink was a "feminine" color and men/boys ought not… Continue reading You Can’t Make This Stuff Up, Part 1
Obey Those Who Rule Over You and Be Submissive, Part 2
* * * In Part 1, I shared my story about how Hebrews 13:17 was used with me as I questioned an elder about the firing of our personal friend. I discussed the feelings I had when it felt like the elder was lording over me the idea that it was… Continue reading Obey Those Who Rule Over You and Be Submissive, Part 2
Obey Those Who Rule Over You, and Be Submissive, Part 1
* * * One of the last Sundays at the church, I arrived only to discover that our long-time personal friend who was also on staff at the church was fired. We were shocked and deeply saddened. I had arrived early for praise and worship practice as normal, but was obviously… Continue reading Obey Those Who Rule Over You, and Be Submissive, Part 1
How People Search for This Blog
Blogger (the hosting site for this blog) gives me behind-the-scene stats on my blog. Although I am unable to tell exactly who is frequenting the blog, it does give some interesting information. Here's a picture shown on my stats page of the words/phrases people have used to find this blog. I guess I'm a nerd… Continue reading How People Search for This Blog
Yesterday’s Comment
Last night "Anonymous" left the following comment and I felt it was worthy of a whole blog post. The snippets of paragraphs come from the article entitled, "When Should a Christian Leave a Church" at the Battered Sheep website (also noted in this blog's sidebar). The entire comment is indented and italicized; my comments will… Continue reading Yesterday’s Comment
Does This Sound Familiar?
I ran across this post a while back from SGMSurvivors Blog and bookmarked it because a lot of it rang true to my experience. I wonder if anyone else can identify with it:1. A person has a difference of opinion, a question, or a problem.2. As he’s been trained to do, he approaches leadership with… Continue reading Does This Sound Familiar?
Blank Posts
Two times this week I have lost posts. It appears there is a known issue with iPads and Blogger when editing posts. Now that I know, I'll be sure to type my posts elsewhere and have a backup. My apologies to those who found blank posts twice this week. Everything is fine now. Blank Posts
Leadership Styles
I ran across an interesting blog article (that is noted in my sidebar). There is a 5-part series called, "The Dark Side of Spiritual Abuse" at The Barnabas Blog written by Philip Harrelson.Today I read Part 4 a number of times. So much of it spoke out to me from my own personal experience or… Continue reading Leadership Styles
The Lawsuit
Sorry, my cat must have gotten the top of it. This is the last page of the summons. When I got home from taking my daughter to volleyball practice the other night, my husband told me that a person knocked at the door and hand-delivered some papers that he had to sign for. I was… Continue reading The Lawsuit
Rest, Little Kitty
This kitty found us not too long ago. She was an abandoned kitten and her life existed in in the cold and bitter winter, constantly searching for food and shelter. The kids placed some food and milk outside and she hung around a bit, coming and going. Gradually, she let them pet her. To the… Continue reading Rest, Little Kitty
List of Cultic Tendencies
Charles Lester wrote a list of cultic tendencies (originally posted Oct. 1991 in Spiritual Counterfeits Project newsletter) which can be viewed in full online at the Battered Sheep website. The entire list can be found here. Below are the items that hit a nerve with me. Is your pastor fully accountable to a board of… Continue reading List of Cultic Tendencies
Authoritarianism in the Church
Candidacy for Spiritual Abuse: Don’t Develop Your Independent Thinking Skills In my family's personal story at BGBC, after the abrupt firing of a staff employee, the pastor had a church meeting and mentioned that if anyone had questions, he and the elders would be available to answer questions. My husband and I set an… Continue reading Authoritarianism in the Church
You Won’t Find a Better Church
** Proverbs 27:2 Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips. Isaiah 5:21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Throughout our time at BGBC, we came across this message on a consistent basis: you won't find… Continue reading You Won’t Find a Better Church
How Dare You Leave Our Church!
Below is an excerpt from Exposing Spiritual Abuse by Mike Fehlauer: Painful Exit In a controlling church, it is impossible to leave on good terms. Because the pastor’s sense of worth is usually based on the control he is able to exert over the congregation, when someone leaves, this insecure leader considers it an affront… Continue reading How Dare You Leave Our Church!
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
I've spent a lot of time researching spiritual abuse, the kinds of people who spiritually abuse and found this great article called "Narcissism in the Pulpit" about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Be sure to check out the very informative website. Here is a snippet from the website:Sam Vaknin, described by the New York Times as the… Continue reading Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Leaving a Church
My husband and I met at church when we were single and in college and have been going to church together as a family for all of our married life. Prior to that, we were regular church attenders all of our childhood. This church thing is nothing new to us. When my husband was active… Continue reading Leaving a Church
As the Deer Pants
*** Psalm 42:1 1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. We had 6 visitors to our backyard yesterday and it reminded me of the song, "As the Deer" ** ** Lyrics: As the deer panteth for the waterSo my soul longeth after theeYou alone are… Continue reading As the Deer Pants
Spiritual Sounding Board 