Review of Children’s Book “God’s Design” – Married/Single; Husband/ Father; Wife/Mother

Complementarian, Gender Roles, Being Married, Being Single, Desiring God’s Influence

married-couple

-by Kathi

This series is a review of God’s Design, a children’s book which teaches children about complementarity. For an introduction of the book, click here. All of the underlined subtitles below are chapters from the book.

Today, children, we will talk about marriage and singleness, husbands and fathers, and wives and mothers. 

Marriage and Singleness

This chapter talks about how being married and being single are both good gifts; although, there is greater focus on being married than being single — go figure.

The authors start by letting us know that it doesn’t matter if you’re married or single:

Being married and being single (not married) are gifts too. Both are good gifts from God. One isn’t better than the other. They are just different from each other.

Does this sound familiar to you? It’s the same rhetoric as talking about men and women – one isn’t better than the other, they are just different.

The chapter continues with the thought that marriage must follow God’s design: marriage is between a man and a woman, God joins the marriage together, Christians should only marry Christians, and marriage is made to last until death. I wonder if it is permissible to marry after the death of a spouse. Do they believe that couples remain married for eternity?

Divorce is not a part of God’s design because “God hates divorce.” Here’s why:

He hates it because He joined the man and woman together, and He knows that separating brings much sorrow and pain. Marriage is meant to be an example of God’s faithfulness to His people. So divorce in marriage is not showing God’s good example to others.

This is my main concern about this chapter. The authors leave no room for cases of infidelity (which Jesus does address) or abuse, and they do not believe that separation is permissible. As to the argument that divorce brings sorrow and pain, well, a lot of marriages bring sorrow and pain, too. If a person is in an abusive marriage, that marriage does not reflect God’s faithfulness.

As far as being single goes, the benefits of being single are: more freedom, more time to serve God and help others, and a greater dependence upon God, which brings a closer relationship to God. Interesting…so you can either be in a relationship which mirrors God’s relationship to the church, or you can be single and be closer to God.

Tell me what you think about this activity:

If we don’t look at things the way God does, we might think it is better to be married than single. Sometimes people do not serve or honor single people. As a family, do something this week to bless a single person.

Husbands and Fathers & Wives and Mothers

I want to keep these chapters brief, so I have combined the two together. Honestly, there’s not much new here because everything in these two chapters has been covered through the entire book so far. After discussing these two chapters, I would like to go back and address how the church deals with single and married people.

Basically, the chapters discuss roles like this:

God gives his commands for his design for husbands and wives and families. If we don’t follow his commands, that is unwise. God’s command is clear, so if we don’t follow it, we are being disobedient. That disobedience reflects a sinful heart.

The husband is the head/leader of the wife. As a father, he “provides for, protects, and leads his children.” Fathers must correct their children, love their family with kindness and sacrifice (i.e., give up his plans) when needed. I doubt that the authors consider that women may sacrifice their plans when they stay home with children.

The wife must submit to her husband and trust that “he will care for her and make good decisions.” If he is disobedient to God, she must continue to follow and respect him. Women’s important work is “having children and caring for them.” Women have the choice to make a happy home and “take care of the needs of their families,” or be grumpy about their role and make the family unhappy. I love this ending kicker — a single woman can make her home welcoming and hospitable, too. I guess single guys are free from opening their homes to company.

On Being Single or Married in the Church

“God’s Design” is a book about gender roles which tends to focus on husbands and wives and fathers and mothers. So why even mention singles? One doesn’t need to be in the church long to recognize that it views marriage and families highly.  Desiring God’s website also sends this message loud and clear. Oh, they’ll tell you being single is good, but just you wait single person…married life offers so much more!

I came across an article on Desiring God’s site and came upon some interesting comments on their Facebook page:

screenshot-2017-02-09-at-9-25-09-pm

Clearly there are people who do not like how the church gives so much attention to marriage. I know that we have had discussions of that on the blog before. Many times people feel uncomfortable or excluded because of the extreme focus the church places on marriage. How can/should the church respond better?

Categorizing people can be fine to a certain extent. But in the end, whether we are married or single, we all deal with similar struggles when it comes to relationships, jobs, or personal problems. Is it reasonable to ask the church to view people as people instead of solely in categories?

****

If you would like to read prior reviews on God’s Design, here are links in the order of the book chapters:

Know Thyself, Creature

Headship, Helper, and an Answer We Already Knew

Rebellion, a.k.a. It’s All Her Fault!

Examples of Complementarian Manhood and More Doublespeak

Examples of Godly Womanhood

Purity and Honoring God’s Design

57 comments on “Review of Children’s Book “God’s Design” – Married/Single; Husband/ Father; Wife/Mother

  1. I find it’s interesting that the Elder (man in complementarian circles) must be hospitable, yet the church, over and over pushes this hospitability to the wife of the elder.

    And, yes, I was 28 years old when I got married. The church had no idea what to do with me. They pay lip service to singleness being a gift, but there is a huge theological hole. Most people believe that there is a minimum level of sanctification required before God will let people get married, and if you’re not married, there is some hidden sin God is working on in your life. So, one reaction to that is complete avoidance – leprosy. The other is people who think they have the right to know intimate details about your life so that they can be the one who diagnoses your sin and gets you marriage-approved.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m blessed to be in a church where single adults are called on to serve (not too much by the way) and encouraged to develop their gifts. Being almost 60, I don’t see marriage on the horizon (and I haven’t waited around for it, either), but I am involved in significant ministry and have been asked to participate in activities that people know I have the time and giftedness to do. So many people end up being single when they are older (either through death or divorce), and it’s important to give them meaningful participation and recognition in the church as WHOLE people.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Mark,

    Why does ‘the elder’ need to be hospitable?

    Could it be because there were no first century salaried religious professionals and ‘the elder’ (ie: wise old godly Grandpa) needed a VENUE to disciple ‘the younger’?

    🏌🏿

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As a married with lots of kids I’m humoured by the comments about Singles being ignored.

    No doubt there are singles being left out or overlooked.

    I wake up at 5:30 every morning and am tired 24/7. The last thing on my mind on the weekend is being hospitable to anyone. When you’re tired you can’t even function.

    Reminds me of people who have no friends and complain about it.

    If you need or want friends then show yourself friendly to others who are lonely.

    Drives me batty.

    Perhaps singles could entertain marrieds with five kids. Cook us a meal and babysit our tribes… then you can understand why you might not get weekly invites HAHAHAHA

    Seriously though… is church culture all about me?

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  5. In reply to Salty,

    In the 40+ years I have been a believer I have left two churches where there was nothing for never-married singles. One sent me to a singles Bible study that was more like a divorce-recovery group and the other had a women’s ministry where the leadership constantly pressured me about not making the weekly 10 am meetings. I was working; obviously, but they never got it. Yes, you so need to be friendly, but there also needs to be a reciprocation on the part of the church. I expect to use my teaching background (MA in Christian ed and a teacher credential plus years of missionary work) for the glory of the Lord and the advancement of His kingdom, not just pew sit.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. As a family, do something this week to bless a single person.

    One nice thing in a sea of errors. Good job, authors!

    I love this ending kicker — a single woman can make her home welcoming and hospitable, too. I guess single guys are free from opening their homes to company.

    Because they aren’t responsible for their house! Only women do house stuff, lol.

    I take it they wouldn’t want to hear about single women making their homes hospitable to boyfriends 🙂

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  7. Most people believe that there is a minimum level of sanctification required before God will let people get married, and if you’re not married, there is some hidden sin God is working on in your life.

    This is ridiculous.

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  8. Wow, Salty. I think your whole comment is full of attitude that single people (and lonely people) get.

    Meanwhile, you demonstrated exactly WHY sometimes people are lonely. Who do you go out with on Saturday night, if all your friends are married and have five kids? Not to say you can’t do things with them sometimes, but as you mentioned they are busy and tired.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Well, he may have the right idea here. Though, how to explain that to children, it’s hard to say. Since being widowed, I hate being referred to as single. But before my marriage I was okay with it. Different thoughts for different people I guess.
    I grew up seeing singleness. I have aunts who never married. We were never taught anything but what it is; they were still to be called Auntie A and Auntie B same as Uncle B and Auntie A, or whatever their names are. There were single people in church; some were my Sunday school teachers or Pioneer Girls leaders. Sometimes they later got married and we’d see the process of that; now she’s Mrs-something instead of Miss-something. Once we even got to have a bridal shower as a class.
    Historically, I think there were both extremes. Centuries ago in Europe, wasn’t there more spiritual respect given to nuns and monks? And, what Mark said, where singleness is seen as less-than or spiritual immaturity, or you’re not a full adult until marriage.
    Keep on learning. And, those with children, how do we talk to them about singleness? Like, if they ask “why doesn’t _____have a husband/wife/children?” and so on? My parents did struggle with, wanting to minister to single moms of kids our age, but yet, not encourage us to make the choices they did, like premarital sex, divorce, etc.

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  10. Check out 2 Cor. 7. Singleness is a gift and can be used for God’s glory. It can be hard, but my married friends tell me that is also tough at times. We need to learn to accept where we are and trust God to use us there.

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  11. Lea, before I was married with kids I was single for much of my twenties and involved in ‘churches’. So I know what’s up. I not once felt ‘let down’ or not provided because I don’t believe the world revolves around me. Harsh? True.

    Singles aren’t some unique club which need to be banded together like a bunch of degenerates. Is that really what singles want?

    Singles meetings and dinners imply something unique and distinctive. I don’t think it’s healthy and normal to lump all ‘singles’ in programmed outings or meetings. The body has many members and my point is that many people simply have little time to entertain others outside that Sunday window.

    If you are a single and think the ‘church’ has not met your needs I would ask when you last opened up your home to others and cooked a meal for others whether single or not?

    Last time you offered to babysit married people’s kids so THEY could have a night off?

    Attitude?

    Naturally.

    I haven’t had a night off for five years.

    Wouldn’t mind some bored singles serving me by babysitting my kids 😊

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  12. because I don’t believe the world revolves around me. Harsh? True.

    Yes, harsh. Who said that? You are the one who went on the attack against people who are lonely! Your entire comment was callous. Your new comment is callous. I’m not even talking about church and I would rather not be split into a singles group, i’m talking about attitudes towards people.

    Is that all single people are good for, babysitting kids? I take children I am close to on outings. I don’t consider that babysitting.

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  13. Your new comment is callous…

    Is that all single people are good for, babysitting kids?

    Hear, hear!

    And what about those who aren’t good with kids, or who don’t like them?

    What about a culture like Japan, in which most parents aren’t comfortable leaving their kids in the care of people who aren’t family?

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  14. Salty,

    Singles aren’t some unique club which need to be banded together like a bunch of degenerates. Is that really what singles want?

    Not exclusively, no. But it is nice to be able to talk with fellow Christians who have similar experiences and struggles. We can relate to each other in many ways. It helps us get through life.

    I haven’t had a night off for five years.

    Wouldn’t mind some bored singles serving me by babysitting my kids.

    Salty, what makes you think that “lonely” is the same as “bored”? Are you under the impression that single people have all this extra time on their hands, which married folk can only dream of? That might have been your experience before you married, but please don’t make that assumption about everyone. Assumptions like that are not helpful, or conducive to compassion.

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  15. This garbage book of indoctrination and other evils is still out there? Most shocking.

    Single? Doomed.
    Married? Doomed.
    Divorced? Cast out into eternal darkness.
    Remarried? You, demon, you!

    Okay, maybe I’m slightly cynical, but that this book is still being fed to young minds is a crime somewhere in this world. Find that place.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Bethlehem Baptist church (John Piper’s church before he retired) is such an abusive church that they excommunicate godly Christian wives who are in abusive marriages and finally leave.

    Natalie K., the Visionary Womanhood blog, is one such woman.

    I wouldn’t listen to anything that church has to say.

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  17. Velour, I don’t even consider BB a church, just like your former Grace church. They have nothing to offer true Christianity. Nofeenk. Any place that teaches those things and acts towards women and children and victims the way they do and have done are not churches; they are men’s clubs. Ugghh.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I bring up the issues of singles because I really don’t think it belongs in this book. Unless the authors want to go so far as to imply that single women should defer to their fathers or other older men in terms of headship (hey, it happens!). I wouldn’t be surprised if the thought floats around as they want sister to practice submitting to brothers.

    I have been to all kinds of churches, from house church to megachurch to in between. I have noticed that the smaller churches I attended did not seem to focus so much on marrieds and singles. One of the smaller churches we went to had a very large number of singles and we had a lot of people over at our house for small group. There really wasn’t that much distinction between married and singles because we were small enough that everyone did their part (except in volunteering to work with the kids — that always seems to have hard time getting volunteers whether your small or mega). Though, I would guess that smaller family-integrated churches would definitely focus on marriage. The megas that I’ve attended have all placed a big focus on marrieds and families. Though, when I was single going to megas (even married with kids) I was so overworked to even really give it a second thought.

    Now being out of church, I hear so much from singles that when a church places a lot of emphasis on marrieds and families, they feel out of place. Take a look at the screenshot of the comments….that’s from Desiring God’s FB page. And, if Desiring God and Piper is pushing it, then you know there are a lot of churches out there who will follow suit. The church has done a lot to alienate people over the years and this is just one more issue to separate. I think the church can reach marrieds and singles without having to place a lot of emphasis on one category. I truly think the church can do better in this area.

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  19. I had the opportunity to spend a few days with a single friend last year. When I watched all that she had to do, I was exhausted thinking about it. In my home, I have a spouse who is picking up the slack while I am in school, I have kids who do their own laundry and can cook, so in other words, we all share the load. In a marriage, that’s how it should be. But I was trying to imagine what it’s like to have to do everything by myself, including home repairs, car repairs, bills, everything. That doesn’t sound like a single person is going to be bored.

    I know of a fairly young widow (her kids are grown). He recently had surgery and has limited mobility. I imagine she’s saying “it sucks to be single,” at a time like this! Maybe some married should help her!

    I’m with Serving Kids in Japan – why do people think that single kids even want to babysit? I’m also not convinced that singles ever have a night off. There’s always dishes/cooking/laundry to be done, right?

    Oh, and here’s another – – what about being single with kids? Kathi, why didn’t they mention that? Oh, I know – – because that’s not God’s Design.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. naturally, you ignore my point and just call me callous.

    Do you understand my point?

    If single people are lonely and wondering why no one is organising special events for them perhaps they could do the very thing they accuse others of not doing.

    That was my point.

    It’s easy to complain and not be proactive.

    “I have no friends” says the person who doesn’t try to make friends with others who are lonely.

    Everyone today is a victim.

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  21. Do you understand my point?

    No, I think I understand you perfectly. I am listening to your attitude.

    I NEVER said any of the things you mentioned. You went on the attack about how hilarious it is that some people are lonely. You seem to have no empathy. Also, I read your ‘it’s hilarious that people are lonely’ comment on valentines day so that was fun.

    You also accuse others of wanting to be ‘served’ when half of your comment was about how you are tired and want people to cook and watch your children.

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  22. Lea – I understand feeling lonely. I think the loneliest I ever felt was at a church where I felt like I never fit in. Lots of cliques and I wasn’t into that, so I never really connected with anyone even though I was very active there.

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  23. @JPU:

    Centuries ago in Europe, wasn’t there more spiritual respect given to nuns and monks?

    Yes. It got out of hand and fermented into the Heresy of Clericalism, i.e. only Priests, Monks, and Nuns matter to God. Nobody else.

    Then during the Reformation Wars, having married or single clergy became an announcement of Whose Side You Were On; then since those Enemy Christians (Romish Papists) did singleness and celibacy, we Real True Christians ALL have to be married; then this gelled into Salvation by Marriage Alone and to Hell with singles.

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  24. P.S. And then all these Salvation by Marriage Alone churches went right back into the Heresy of Clericalism. Except instead of single Priests, Monks, and Nuns it’s married Pastors, Elders, Missionaries, and Worship Musicians. Double so if CELEBRITY.

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  25. @Salty:

    Singles aren’t some unique club which need to be banded together like a bunch of degenerates. Is that really what singles want?

    Someone in a long-ago comment thread put it this way:
    Church schedule:
    Monday night — Alcoholics Ministry
    Tuesday night — Homosexuals Ministry
    Wednesday night — Singles Ministry

    Singles meetings and dinners imply something unique and distinctive. I don’t think it’s healthy and normal to lump all ‘singles’ in programmed outings or meetings.

    Especially when the only programmed outings they seem to do are Dances (just like High School!)

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  26. @BostonLady:

    Any place that teaches those things and acts towards women and children and victims the way they do and have done are not churches; they are men’s clubs.

    Not just “men’s clubs”.
    HE-MAN WOMAN-HATERS CLUBS.

    @JPU:

    Here’s a blog article about singleness on Valentines Day.

    You mean Singles Misery Day?

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  27. Sorry, guys, but I can’t read “Salty”s handle without thinking of this Seventies-Eighties Christianese cartoon series whose main character was a talking book with the same name (but different spelling “Psalty”).

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  28. It almost seems like because the world looks upon marriage with disdain (let’s face it less and less people are marrying and more young couples are living together unmarried instead) the church has gone overboard in trying to sell marriage to Christians as a noble estate at the expense of giving the impression to singles they are an afterthought. So this book it seems sought to sell singleness as a “but at least you can get closer to God” consolation prize. There are other books out there doing this. I’m sure there will be more.

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  29. @JPU:

    Headless-Unicorn-Guy, yeah what memories of Psalty!

    Including the costumed-character live appearances at various half-remembered Christianese Culture War events. I’m familiar with “guerilla fursuiting” and mascots in general, but THAT was just cringeworthy.

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  30. Never saw that; Psalty never came to my neck of the woods I guess. Just playing the records(which I can’t play anymore because I don’t have a record player, lol. Makes me feel old) and the songs get in my head. A lot of them are still relevant.(I may post some on a Sunday post one day) The stories can be really cheesy, and therefore created interesting memories with my siblings. And there was one or two we did as a drama at camp; that was fun. As a music person I still use some of that.
    Come to think of it, I wonder if the kids raised in the various Christian-like-cults got to listen to them, or Veggie Tales, or anything that could be considered “Christian-pop-culture”.

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  31. JPU, I thought we used to do them for church plays but doublechecking the stuff I remember none of it was psalty. I was thinking bullfrogs and butterflies was a psalty song when looking it up it’s apparently agape.

    Of course, now I’m singing that and ‘germs, germs, my invisible dog’ in my head.

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  32. I think the over-emphasis that Fundy churches put on marriage is unhealthy for married people, too. I’m married, but I’m not a Married (TM) as opposed to a Single (TM). I’m part of the body of Christ. I don’t need one more sermon about marriage, or one more Bible study about how to be a good wife. How bout a Bible study on the life of Jesus? On the Good Samaritan? On showing kindness and compassion to others? If needed, I can apply it to my marriage and family, and show more kindness to my husband and kids. Or if needed, I can apply it to others in the community and my circle of acquaintances. There is more to the Christian life than being married or single.

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  33. @Lea:

    I was thinking bullfrogs and butterflies was a psalty song when looking it up it’s apparently agape.

    Bullfrogs & Butterflies — I remember that one from Eighties Christianese AM radio. Sounded like a children’s song, but they played it as if it were Top 40 for adults.

    Now here’s a real obscure-o for you: ever heard of one called “Pig In Mud”?

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  34. @WaryWitness:

    I’m married, but I’m not a Married (TM) as opposed to a Single (TM). I’m part of the body of Christ.

    Does this mean you will associate with Singles?
    Because Marrieds(TM) don’t.

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  35. Sounded like a children’s song, but they played it as if it were Top 40 for adults.

    Seriously?? It was definitely a childrens song. I was an 80s kid, though.

    Don’t remember pig in mud.

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  36. If you are a single and think the ‘church’ has not met your needs I would ask when you last opened up your home to others and cooked a meal for others whether single or not?

    Last time you offered to babysit married people’s kids so THEY could have a night off?

    Attitude?

    Naturally.

    I haven’t had a night off for five years.

    Wouldn’t mind some bored singles serving me by babysitting my kids 😊

    Hi Salty,

    I’m single in my 30s, and I thought I’d answer your question.

    When’s the last time I watched someone else’s kids so they could have some time off? Well, I used to babysit for Sunday school many years ago (as well as for mid-week Bible studies). I quit because I got sick of parents lying about their kids only having “allergies”, when in fact they were very sick with a cold or whatever. Then I’d catch the cold, and I’d be bringing it home to my already sick mother, who has an auto-immune disease and can’t afford to catch a cold on top of it all.

    And you know what I got in return for watching other people’s kids (other than getting sick constantly)? Nothing. Who ever served ME? I had no friends. Nobody cared about me. I’m done. Thank God I found a church that doesn’t harp on about marriage all the time and then pressure me to work in the Sunday school.

    And you’ll forgive me if I don’t feel that your are actually entitled to use me as your free babysitter. Why don’t you save up your pennies and hire a teenager to watch your kids? Seriously. Drop the entitlement attitude. Quite frankly, I personally haven’t really ever asked for anything single-specific in church. I just want to be accepted as part of a bigger family, but that seems to only happen when someone needs a babysitter, and then suddenly it’s all, “We’re the family of God, so watch these kids.” And believe it or not, I’m capable of volunteering for stuff other than babysitting. So why should I do that for you instead of other things?

    As for your complaint about needing time off, you seem to be treating your kids like are a job rather than family? I want time off from a job, not from actual family members. I have a dog. He’s a perpetual two-year-old. He’s a member of my family. I’d never want time off from him. It’s one thing when I’d need someone to watch him for his own safety because I have to travel for work or whatever, but time off from my dog because I feel tired of him? Never! Even when he’s throwing up everywhere and other gross things from being sick and I have to clean up after him, I don’t want time off from my dog. How much less would I want time off from my own children (if I had any)? My own mother never talked about me like that. Unless she was sick and needed someone else to watch me because she couldn’t, she always made me feel like my company was valued.

    Keep talking like that, and your kids won’t feel very loved. You sound more like my sociopath of a father, who wished he had never had me and dragged his heels on spending any time with me. Sad.

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  37. @HUG yes, I do associate with people who happen to be single, divorced, or widowed, and value their contribution to the extended family, workplace, church, etc. I’m sorry that there are Married TM people who treat singles like second class Christians.

    Personally, I went to a controlling Fundy church from my late teens through my early thirties (over a decade). I got married in my mid twenties, and the sexism/chauvinism became a lot more obvious to me once I was married. For example, all the teaching directed at wives to be submissive to their husbands. Or the fact that when my husband and I attempted to interact with another man or another couple, the man would talk exclusively to my husband and purposely avoid eye contact with me. When I was single, those type of men either didn’t interact with me at all, so I just thought they were unsociable, or if they had to talk to me, they talked to me, so I didn’t think anything of it.

    Once I had kids and my oldest grew to be a toddler, I noticed the sick, controlling attitude a lot more. There was so much peer pressure to spank him just because he couldn’t sit still during the looooong drawn out time of singing and announcements between Sunday school and church. Sometimes I would take him out and go hide in the restroom with him, just so that people would think I was spanking him and being a Good Mother (TM) by not failing to discipline him. They taught that if you didn’t discipline children the way they say you should (lots of spanking for the slightest sign of Rebellion TM) that you were essentially sending your children to Hell.

    I was oblivious to all this garbage as a single young grad student in my early twenties, and lots of kind elderly people used to invite me over for dinner when I was single. I recognize that that is not the case in all churches, and that it’s probably different for older singles. But my point is, that while these types of Fundy churches may put Marriage and Motherhood on a pedestal, there is a lot more pressure to perform and conform once you are married and have kids. Does that make sense?

    Blessings,
    Wary Witness

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  38. @Lea:

    Don’t remember pig in mud.

    It would have been roughly contemporary to Bullfrogs & Butterflies, i.e. the mid-Eighties. Heard it a couple times on KBRT, and it was the absolute WEIRDEST CCM song I have ever come across. (I was big-time into Dr Demento through the Seventies & Eighties, so I was very familiar with weird novelty songs.) I’ve been unable to find any YouTube or audio of it online.

    This is what I remember of Pig in Mud. This was 30+ years ago, but that kind of strangeness sticks in your mind. Here’s how it went:

    It started with a male voice-over and some sound effects:
    “This is a pig.”
    “REEP! REEP!” (sound effect)
    “And this is mud.”
    (Splashing sound effect)
    “And this is Pig in Mud. The story of a backslider.”

    At this point a piano riff started looping; hard to give it in text, but it went something like “Oopa Oopa — Shoobeeoo Doopa” repeated over and over. Then the pig and splash sound effects came into the background.

    For the remainder of the song, the “REEP! REEP! REEP! REEP!” and splashing formed a rhythm section, gradually increasing in volume. As this was going on —

    A female voice-over entered the mix, reciting Bible verses about “The dog is returned to his vomit, and the sow to wallow in the mire” a couple of times while the “REEP! REEP! REEP! REEP!” and splashing increases in volume until it’s as loud as the piano loop.

    After a short interval of the pig and splash, both male and female voice-overs return, this time going “Turn Back!” “Re-pent!” “Turn Back!” “Re-pent!” in syncopation as the “REEP! REEP! REEP! REEP!” gets loud enough to drown them out.

    By this time the “REEP! REEP! REEP! REEP!” continues at full volume for a bit, then abruptly ends with a long “REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!” in a Doppler fade to silence like the sound cart fell down a mineshaft. End.

    Like

  39. Clockwork Angel,

    Of Salty you have this to say: “You sound more like my sociopath of a father.”

    Salty has been a highlight on this blog and an inspiration to many. Maybe you’re reading into her comment too much? Perhaps, I reckon, her tongue was in her cheek, where it is many times.

    Sociopath? No. But thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Like

  40. The wary witness

    Thankfully I bought a book by dr Sears, a Christian pediatrician who had about 8 kids of his own, who explained that all the ” rod” verses as interpreted by most Pastors is incorrect…so I never spanked my kids.
    He also didn’t advise the ” tough love” letting your kids cry themselves to sleep. ( when they cry, ignore them).
    This was just as I was saved and my kids were 1 and 3 respectfully.
    I’m so glad I had that book, and I didn’t buy into this form of child abuse.

    Like

  41. Ps..once I was in a supermarket and a mom was spanking her toddler. I saw her a bit later in the same place again spanking the kid. I asked her how many times a day she spanked her kid and she said ” all day”.. So I said ” do you think it’s working”?
    Nothing makes me angrier than seeing a parent hit their kids.
    To think that the rod was something the shepherd used to guide the sheep lovingly, or to use the crook on the rod to move them…being used as abuse..so many have bought into the lie.
    And some wonder why their kids want nothing to do with Jesus.
    I would tell my kids to go to their room,( which really wasn’t a bad thing, except it took them away from Whatever they were doing), and think about what they did and talk to God about it. I really didn’t need to do this much.
    I would usually find them crying..a sign of remorse..and I would then talk about it.
    I didn’t do everything right..but this seemed to have worked..

    Like

  42. “And this is Pig in Mud. The story of a backslider.”

    Wow! That sounds absolutely bonkers. I don’t think we even had a Christian music station when I was a kid. We had an oldies station and a kids station, which played stuff like la cucharacha and other kid friendly stuff.

    Maybe you’re reading into her comment too much?

    EH, she had a chance to clarify and doubled down instead. I’m sure she can speak for herself, but I read her in a similar way.

    Like

  43. “Perhaps singles could entertain marrieds with five kids. Cook us a meal and babysit our tribes… then you can understand why you might not get weekly invites HAHAHAHA” – Salty

    I got tired of being expected as a single to take care of other peoples’ children at my former 9 Marxists (aka 9 Marks), authoritarian, John MacArthur-ite, NeoCalvinist church in Silicon Valley (California).

    I did it sometimes. I also cooked meals for people of all ages, including families who were coping with illness, shut-ins, and new parents.

    One church member (woman) repeatedly volunteered my childcare services to parents, without my knowledge, permission, or consent…and when I had repeatedly told her that I had NO free time and I was busy 7-days a week. I was publicly embarrassed and humiliated when confronted by parents that I was going to take care of their children because so-and-so “said so”. I had to apologize in public for something I’d never offered and I had NO time for.

    I get up at 3:30 a.m. in the morning to work a job in the real world, commute, take night classes for an advanced degree program, pull straight A’s, study, write reports, do homework, and take exams.

    What makes people think that because someone is single that they have NO life and are simply at the beck and call of married church members?

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Bullfrogs and Butterflies by Barry McGuire (Eve of Destruction singer from the 60’s) was released in the late 70’s. Barry was associated with Agape Force (a parachurch org) at the time and I was a part of that organization at the time. It was a children,s album and was released shortly after Agape Forced released The Music Machine children’s album about the fruits of the spirit. AF turned into a cult before it was dissolved in the 80’s.

    Like

  45. Velour,

    Ya, I have been back in the “single” category too for quite a while. I’m called a divorcée, a term that I abhor. There’s a stigma to it worse than the smell of pot, or as though I’ve buried some puppies alive. It is almost as though I have leprosy when people find out I am divorced, especially those of certain convictions, theologically-wise, like those of your former church and their mentally challenged ilk.

    Liked by 2 people

  46. Wary Witness, My experience was much like yours. I was taught growing up in a comp. church that “God’s Plan”(TM) for women and men was for women to submit and men to lead. Then my comp. parents would rip on women who put themselves in lay leadership positions, because they were thumbing their noses at God’s Plan and usurping authority.

    It wasn’t until I got married and saw what amazing gifts my wife had and how the church, at every turn, was telling her that her gifts could only be used for the social committee or Sunday School, or some other church-approved woman’s activity. It seems like the comp. men sit around and do nothing while they expect the women to do all of the toilet cleaning, meal preparation and cleanup, and then talk it down like the important work of the church is judging people and splitting theological hairs.

    Liked by 1 person

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