We haven’t looked at Lori Alexander’s “older woman” teachings for a while because not much has changed. Yesterday’s doodle stood out to me, though, and offered another prime example of how Lori continues to pile on spiritual abuse.
Many women want to continually discredit God’s clear commands to them. “My husband is disabled so I have to work!” So does this woman’s experience negate God’s command for women to be keepers at home? Wouldn’t women with disabled husbands and single mothers who work away from the home understand that it would be far superior for them to be home full time caring for their children and homes, if they had a hard working husband who provided for them? Wouldn’t they easily be able to understand that God’s ways are indeed the best? Many women don’t want to accept God’s commands. They try to invalidate them for ALL women because of their experience. Instead of acknowledging that YES, God’s ways are best, they try to cancel them for all women by judging God’s will for women by their experience, emotions, and feelings instead of truth and what is best.
My job focuses on employees who are medically disabled to work either short term or long term. This can cause a lot of stress in a person’s life, especially financially, as there are medical bills to deal with and loss of working time. I would venture to guess that if there is a female spouse who works, she will continue to work to help support the family. I know several women who work because they have a disabled spouse. Their ability to work helps provide health insurance and income to keep the household together. There is nothing shameful or non-honoring to God about this. It’s how life goes.
How is a woman with disabled husband supposed to be home full time caring for her children and rely upon an income-earning spouse if the husband is totally disabled to work? I’m not the only one to ask this question. Several other readers asked for clarification on Lori’s statement. Lori’s response was that they misunderstood what she wrote. (::cough:: Sounds like Piper ::cough::)
Lori responded to the comment, and then edited her comment. Here are both versions:
Notice she edited “Life is MUCH easier for ALL women when they have…” to “Life is MUCH easier for ALL women IF they have…” Women can only have an easy life when/if they have a man providing money for them?
Lori is saying that women should feel guilty if they don’t following God’s will for them to be home.
As long as Lori is fully supported in her teachings, all is well.
Lori tries to argue that women who say they need to work because they have a disabled spouse are only making their arguments based upon personal “experience, emotions, and feelings.” I say that Lori does the same. She gleans off her own experience of working for two years when her oldest child was born. She desperately wanted to be home and compromised her birth control method to make that happen.
She is able to live a comfortable life at home while her husband earns a comfortable living. Because she is able to live this way, she tells women whose families are struggling to make ends meet that nothing is impossible with God. In my opinion, Lori is abusing Titus 2 and feels entitled to her teaching because she is an “older woman.”
Instead of offering support to women who have to work because their husbands are unable to, she tells them that it would be “far superior” to have a hard working husband who provides for them. After all, this is God’s best plan for their lives. Does she even hear how this comes across?
Lori continues to spiritually abuse when she uses phrases such as:
- “God’s command for women…”
- “God’s ways are indeed the best.”
- “Many women don’t want to accept God’s commands.”
- “Women focus on experience, emotions, and feelings instead of truth.”
- “God commands that husbands be the providers and women be the keepers at home.”
- “Acknowledge God’s will for women is to be keepers at home.”
- “Nothing is impossible with God.”
- “Women should feel guilty for not following God’s ways.”
Women, no where does God say that it is dishonoring to work outside the home. God does not care about your relationship status if you need to work to provide for yourself or your family. Do what is best for yourself and your family. If you are home, great. If you need to or want to work, great. Please do not believe the myth that complementarian doctrine promotes: that the only way for women and men to live is if one provides and the other submits.
This doctrine is promoted as “biblical truth.” Truth is, Jesus wants us to follow a greater commandment:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.