Christian Marriage, Forgiveness, Learn to Discern, Marriage, Marriages Damaged-Destroyed by Sp. Ab., Recovery Process, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, The Gospel Coalition

Learn to Discern: Wife Has Affair with Pastor . . . and Reconciles?

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Kandace has an affair with her pastor.  She and her husband, Nathan, talk about their reconciliation process and grace, but leave out something very important.

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Video:  Liberate

JA note:  Sorry, I’ve been unable to embed the video.  Please click on “Liberate” to see the video.

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I was glad to stumble across this video.  In this video, a husband and wife, Nathan and Kandace, talk about how their marriage is recovering after the wife’s affair with their pastor.

We hear a lot about grace, which is very common.  But there’s something very important missing from this testimony that concerns me.

What important piece is missing?

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106 thoughts on “Learn to Discern: Wife Has Affair with Pastor . . . and Reconciles?”

  1. Ah, yes. Devil’s Lake! To be at which no doubt constitutes a participation in the acknowledgment of the adversary. But, of course, I’m just having a bit of fun. I have been there myself. Don’t be alarmed when you see an email from a lawyer. It’s just me.


  2. graceviroqua

    NO offense taken by your humor – I enjoy a little Jousting and Snark. 😉

    YOU WRITE @ NOVEMBER 30, 2013 @ 7:29 PM…
    “I hope you will allow this Calvinist/complementarian
    (balanced, though, I would like to believe)…”

    Was wondering…

    Why would you label yourself, and be known, as a “Disciple of Calvin?”
    A DEAD man…

    When you could be known as a “Disciple of Jesus?”
    Jesus – Who is ALIVE today…

    Jesus – Who wants to be Your “ONE” Teacher, Your “ONE” Leader.
    Mat 23:8-10 NASB.

    And – Are you a Neo-Calvinist? A Hyper-Calvinist? A True Calvinist?
    A TULIP-Calvinist? If yes? Are you – A five pointer? Only a three pointer?

    My Brain is starting to hurt – I’ve heard Calvinists say all these things. 🙂

    If you believe you’re a balanced-Calvinist? What makes you balanced?
    What does an un-balanced-Calvinist look like? So I can avoid… 😉

    And then we have you labeling yourself as a “complementarian.”
    A word I still can NOT spell and usually write the four letter word – Comp.
    A word NOT found in the Bible. NOT Biblical.
    A word that is then – Non-Biblical – Extra-Biblical – Anti-Biblical…
    A word NOT understood by my “Spell-Checker.”
    A word NOT found in my Dictionary.
    A word defined by different Comp people many different ways.
    Even the Comp people disagree what the word means. Oy Vey!!!
    Hard, Soft, But when I’m at home – But when I’m at the Corporation…

    A word “Invented by Man.”in the 1980’s. And is, by their own admission…
    A Commandment of Men, a Doctrine of Men, a Philosophy of men,
    a Precept of Men, that becomes Traditions of men” that Void – God’s word.

    Mark 7:13
    NLT – you “cancel” the word of God to hand down your “own tradition.”
    KJV – Making the word of God of “none effect” through “your tradition”
    ASV – Making “void” the word of God by “your tradition”…
    NIV – Thus you “nullify” the word of God by “your tradition”…

    NOPE – In my Experience…
    Calvinism/comp#$%&tarianism – Arminianism/Egal%$#^&isim –
    And ALL the other “Isims – Are a Distraction from KNOWING Jesus.
    From hearing His Voice for yourself and Following Jesus.

    These are distractions – Arguments, debates – That take our eyes OFF Jesus.

    And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold:
    them also I must bring, and they shall “hear My voice; “
    and there shall be “ONE” fold, and “ONE” shepherd.
    John 10:16

    One Voice – One Fold – One Shepherd – One Leader

    {{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}


  3. Rich – graceviroqua

    Here’s another fine example of “Church Discipline” and Abuse. 😦

    “Replanting Countryside Acts 29 Style: A Personal Testimony”

    Rebecca Lynn on Sat Dec 07, 2013 at 12:04 AM said:

    Thank you to the Wartburg Watch for getting the true story out of what happened to our family. The shame of it is we were ONE family out of the many that went through this. Most went away quietly, never to return, and some like us were thrown out under church discipline with many lies being spread. I cannot tell you how hurtful it was to see people I had known for years turn the other way in the grocery store so they would not have to speak to us. They were too afraid. Or too deceived. The sickening thing for me is this “pastor” is still in the business of relevance and spreading the infection of Acts 29. My only hope is that that one day people will get wise to Acts 29, Mark Driscoll, and this movement as a whole and flee….


  4. You are all so full of it! Self righteous, saying the pastor is all at fault. She committed adultery, she did it freely she wasn’t raped, she wasn’t threatened. WOW, more hypocrites in this world than I ever realized. Very sad. A pastor is man, no different than you or I, the woman is human and fully subject to committing sin, but hey lets cast all the stones at the pastor. He who has not committed a sin cast the first stone, remember who said that? The only judge, only jury and you all have to face him too.
    Enjoy your Sunday in the pew and go ahead and sin. It is preordained by GOD, why not? Only a pastor will be at fault. You all sound like the Pharisees, they fully put the blame on Jesus…..good job history has repeated itself.


  5. Wow! I was just told about this conversation about my life, my marriage and my sin. I truly get wanting to dissect and understand the stupidity and sin of others.

    Instead of addressing the myriad of comments and presumptions, I will just say a few things:
    1) There will be no book. It’s the last thing I would want to do.
    2) No one in this comment thread knows my husband and I personally and has no clue about the details of how this all played out.
    3) I remain thankful I stumbled onto the Gospel Coalition’s material as it helped me greatly. However, I do not adhere to every theological thought they align with. Heck, I don’t even know what all that is.
    4) And yes, this was and is still the grace of God working in us. Four years later, we are resting in a healed, restored and healthy marriage.
    5) Nathan and I both took repsonsbility for the breakdown of our marriage and it was BOTH our faults. I took ownership of my behavior and he took ownership of his.
    6) I’m thankful I didn’t not see these comments when they were written. They would have discouraged me. The assumptions and accusations are why people battle sucidal shame. Those who created their own arrogant narritive about a story they knew little about should consider the implications of spewing out “guesses.”
    7) Lastly, though the video has encouraged many people, I regret doing it so soon. We were one year out of the mess and we didn’t not have the guidance and counsel we needed. We were asked to do the video and we felt if God could use our story of redemption to give others hope, we wanted to make it available. This video was removed because Liberate took down their website.


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