Lori Alexander, Depression, Counseling
Lori Alexander recently posted a YouTube video on her channel titled, “Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself.”
I have to ask this first: Why are people still making videos of themselves in their cars? I guess Lori was driving somewhere, had an inspirational moment about self-pity, and just had to record her thoughts right away. Does she want us to know that she actually does get out of the house?
Lori tells us that she has had years of illness, brain surgery, and problems with her neck and back, and watched those around her enjoy life. But her illnesses didn’t stop her from feeling sorry for herself. She learned from Oswald Chambers that self-pity is Satanic, therefore she wants nothing to do with self-pity.
Lori offers the following teaching for how to deal with suffering:
- Repeat: “The joy of the Lord is my strength” and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
- Listen to praise songs.
- Study I Peter and Philippians over and over. Renew your mind with God’s truth.
- Understand that you cannot be thankful and grateful if you are full of self-pity.
- Kick out self-pity quickly.
Lori acknowledges that depression and self-pity may be due to a bad childhood, abuse, or “whatever.” (Seriously, “whatever?” She is so empathetic.) Here’s the thing, folks….Lori Alexander is not a trained counselor and has no business telling people how to deal with depression!
Lori’s advice is dangerous because victims of childhood trauma and adult victims of abuse don’t just “kick out self-pity quickly.” Our brain is a complex creature and no one deals with trauma the same way. Telling people to “get over it” is not helpful and is more damaging. It is spiritually abusive to tell people that if they can’t stop feeling sorry for themselves then they don’t trust in God. Don’t fall for this lie.
If you are looking for an excellent resource on how trauma affects the brain and the body, please read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. In this book he states:
As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself. . . . The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.
Telling yourself to quickly get rid of self-pity is suppressing your thoughts and feelings. If you are experiencing depression due to abuse or past trauma, please seek professional help. If you are depressed and feeling suicidal, please seek professional help. Someone is always willing to listen to you and offer help.
I am very thankful for this community because we are willing to listen to each other and offer support. We welcome anyone who is struggling with their emotions or faith due to abuse or trauma. You will not find comments such as: “Just get over it,” or “You need to have more faith,” or “You need to trust God more.”
My advice to Lori is to stop giving advice to people on how to deal with depression. Not only are your words too simplistic for such a complex issue, but they are also shaming and not helpful. Please refer your listeners to mental health professionals when it comes to dealing with abuse, trauma, or “whatever.”
If you are need professional mental health support, the following are national hotline numbers that can connect you with resources in your area:
If you are in danger of harming yourself or someone else, please call 911.
SAMHSA Treatment Referral Helpline: 877-726-4727 (8 a.m. – 8 p.m., EST)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255 (24/7 phone hotline)
Veterans Crisis Line: 800-273-8255 (Press 1; 24/7 phone hotline)
Edited to add: If you do not feel comfortable contacting a national hotline, please reach out to us through our email, SpiritualSB@gmail.com. If you need help locating resources in your area, we are here for you.