Doug Wilson, Narcissistic Pastors, No-Talk Rule, Patriarchal-Complementarian Movement, Reconstructionist-Dominion Movement, Sexual Abuse/Assault and Churches, Spiritual Bullies, Women and the Church

Sex Abuse Victim Natalie Rose Greenfield, the Timeline, Doug Wilson’s Attempt to Shift Focus off the Real Story

Doug Wilson, Christ Church, CREC, Sex Abuse, Natalie Rose Greenfield, Timeline, Jamin Wight

With Natalie’s permission, I am once again cross-posting her most recent article which gives further clarification on her sex abuse case. Why? Because Pastor Doug Wilson is trying to push his narrative using his public platform which has a larger following than Natalie. What I do here at SSB is give survivors a platform and hopefully social media will even out the voices so that a survivor’s voice is heard and believed.

Here’s the deal. Why are we even listening to Doug Wilson? Why are we listening to his narrative? The court has already convicted Jamin Wight and we know that Natalie is telling the truth, so why is Doug Wilson speaking up now? It is not his story to tell. He mishandled the case and neglected care for Natalie and now Natalie is rightly speaking out so that others will not be afraid to do so.

Take a look at Doug Wilson’s replies on Twitter. On many of his replies, he is responding to Natalie’s case giving short, obscure answers from his perspective and trying to shift the focus off Natalie’s account and place blame on her parents or anything that holds him culpable of protecting and defending this young sex abuse victim. It is so important to note that DOUG WILSON WAS NOT THERE WHEN NATALIE WAS ABUSED! He doesn’t know what went on in her home, the involvement of her parents, the threats and pressure of Jamin Wight.

Notice how Doug Wilson changes the direction of the conversation to something entirely irrelevant.

Here’s an example of a recent exchange with me. Notice the diversion tactics:

https://twitter.com/CalvinistJohn/status/648275815013072896

 

Now we move on to Natalie’s timeline.  Thank you, once again, Natalie, for allowing me to share your story here. ~ja 

(***Trigger warning:  sex abuse***)


natalie rose greenfield, jamin wight, doug wilson, crec, christ church, sex abuse,

For The Sake Of Clarity – The Timeline

by Natalie Rose Greenfield

“It was a foolish parent-approved relationship which led to statutory rape, as was shown in the court.” – @douglaswils

This is a recent tweet from Doug Wilson concerning the long-term sexual abuse I experienced as a young teenager. In light of the level of blame that is being placed on my parents, I feel that a timeline of the events might be helpful in offering some clarity for those that were not directly involved in the situation.

Summer 2000: I met Jamin at a local nursing home where a group of church members were singing hymns for the residents. He introduced himself to me. I was thirteen years old. He was 23.

A few weeks later: I sat at a local coffeehouse and Jamin showed up, sat down across the table from me and asked if I wanted to play cards. He flirted heavily and tossed pretzels into my mouth.

Fall 2000: Jamin came to our house for dinner along with a couple of his roommates, who were longtime friends of our family. He played footsie with me under the table. Our whole family thought he was a pretty great guy and began to consider him a genuine family friend.

Winter 2000: Jamin was over for family dinner a second time and during a movie after dinner, when others had left the room for a moment, Jamin moved close to me, touched my cheek with his hand and told me I was beautiful.

Spring 2001: Jamin moved into our mansion on B Street and lived there along with 4-5 other boarders. At some point during this process Jamin expressed an interest in getting to know me. My parents discussed what they should do and ultimately my father told him he could wait around for me until I was older, if he wanted, and strictly forbade any development of a physical or romantic relationship. We were allowed to be friends. Two weeks later Jamin kissed me for the first time.

Spring 2001: Summer/Fall 2002: Jamin began more serious abuse, this included sexual, physical, verbal and emotional abuse. He was wildly jealous of me, he spied on me, he gave me a strict set of rules to follow regarding my behavior, dress, and social life, he forced me to perform oral sex on him on a regular basis, he oiled the hinges of the doors in our home and frequently snuck into my room in the middle of the night, he limited when I was allowed to leave the house and where I was allowed to go (he did this by privately bullying me, as far as anyone else knew the decisions were my own), he demeaned me constantly and convinced me never to tell anyone about what was happening because he said they’d all know I was a slut and no one else would ever love me, he told me I should not go to college or develop any career or interests because I was to be his wife and the mother of his children someday and would have no need for continued education or a career path, he lectured me constantly on my flirtatious, sinful, tempting ways and convinced me I was an abhorrent girl with few redeemable qualities

I was literally a prisoner in my own home. (I should mention that I was behaving like a textbook abuse victim throughout all of this – I was infatuated, obsessed with my abuser, and the single most important thing in my life was to please him.) To maintain the facade Jamin would occasionally approach my parents and humbly ask their forgiveness for something like squeezing my hand to comfort me or patting my shoulder. He’d promise it would never happen again. This helped him to maintain trust with my parents so he could continue living in our home.

Fall 2002: My father began to notice Jamin behaving in a jealous way around me, and caught him spying on me from outside in the bushes during a dinner party one night (he did this often to monitor my interaction with other people). He was asked to move out.

Late Fall 2002: Jamin no longer lived with us but still occasionally stopped by to grab belongings he’d left, and during these brief visits would rendezvous with me in the basement or in a car for sex favors. One time, I stopped him on the front porch and quietly asked him if I was still a virgin because I didn’t know if fisting constituted penetration. He laughed at me, then walked inside. This was one of the last times we ever spoke.

Fall 2002-Spring 2005: The abuse had finally ended and the effects began to set in. I experienced PTSD, nightmares, flashbacks, eating problems, difficulties with school, depression, insomnia, anger issues, stomach ulcers, social anxiety, and severe self loathing and shame. I graduated from high school during this and was attending the University of Idaho, my academic performance suffered, as did any friendships or relationships I had. The quality of my relationship with my parents was very poor as well.

Spring 2005: I told a friend a little about what had happened years earlier . She urged me to go to my parents or to the police and I told her she was crazy. Over the following month she approached me several times and begged me to tell someone else. She asked that I please do it before I turned 18 later that summer. Her words sank in over the weeks and one night I was overwhelmed with the need to say something, I nervously told my parents about the abuse. Knowing the police would be contacted, Jamin would be arrested, and a legal process would ensue, I was terrified but also hopeful that I could begin to find some peace as justice was carried out. The morning after I told my parents about the abuse they reported it to the police and Jamin was arrested on charges of sexual abuse of a child and lewd conduct with a minor.

Fall/Winter 2005: After an incredibly trying Summer of legal proceedings, multiple police reports and intense health problems, I began slowly phasing out of attending Christ Church. The support and resources that I so desperately needed were not offered to me. The silence was deafening and succeeded in magnifying my shame and sadness. I remember sitting at church week after week and longing to feel loved and supported, aching for something or someone to help me soothe the deep sadness and despair I felt, and it never came. Not everyone at church was aware of what had happened to me and I knew that. In reality, probably only a handful of people were aware at this point, but surely a couple of the elder’s wives must have known and if they didn’t they certainly should have so that I could be ministered to. Sadly, it didn’t happen. I didn’t leave the church angry or bitter, I left wounded. This was the church I’d attended for most of my life and leaving was one of the hardest and saddest things I’d ever done. I’ve written about the rest of this here, so there’s really no need to re-hash what’s already been said.

My story is not about my parents. And though some people are trying awfully hard to make it about my parents and not about the criminal and what he got away with and how people stood behind him and trusted him and welcomed him back into their circles while a girl wasted away in sadness and shame, it’s simply not plausible. The attempt to pin this on my parents isn’t just morally wrong, it’s based on twisted information. I may end up saying it a thousand times, but here it is again: I was not in a relationship with Jamin Wight. I was targeted by him, groomed by him, and abused by him for nearly 2 years, but I was not in a relationship with him. A relationship is something that happens between 2 consenting adults, not between a child and a man.

My goal in sharing my story of abuse is not to point out my parent’s naivety or to shame them for any foolishness they exhibited. We don’t need to discuss how close bedrooms were or how many boarders lived in our giant home or how many times my parents urged Jamin to respect me and interrogated him to make sure he was doing so. I know beyond all doubt that my parents loved me dearly and were doing so in the best way that they knew how. They didn’t have all the answers, but they did not wish for me to be hurt.

My story is about the man who hurt me and the church who defended him. It’s about him going on to hurt more innocent people because no one believed I was telling the whole truth. And within my story are parallels to countless other eerily similar stories that haven’t been told because it’s really hard to tell them, but they need to be heard anyhow so I’ll give them a voice.

That’s all this has ever been about. I’m still waiting to be heard.

Further reading:

134 thoughts on “Sex Abuse Victim Natalie Rose Greenfield, the Timeline, Doug Wilson’s Attempt to Shift Focus off the Real Story”

  1. And I still can’t get over that sneer/smirk expression on Jamin Wight’s face.
    The expression of a sociopath when he takes off the Angel of Light mask.
    I. WIN. YOU STUPID SUCKERS…”

    Like

  2. @Jael,

    Thank you for that Scripture and your post! That means a lot to me and is very encouraging to me!

    Have a great day!

    Like

  3. So re: The Scandal in Moscow article:

    http://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/scandal-in-moscow/#comments

    I loved the author’s response (Rod Dreher) after a comment from a Wilson supporter. The first part is the comment to RD and below that is RD’s response.

    Rod,
    I have profited from your writing/speaking on the Benedict Option. So, thank you for that and for many other things you’ve written over the years that I’ve found helpful.
    But, this is wrong and I believe you know it’s wrong. Before publishing something you knew included serious charges and could result in real harm to someone who, by your own admission in the piece, you had respect for (not to mention the many others involved in this situation), you should have done a little investigation and spoken to Doug. As it is, this is nothing more than slander, even if parts of it, by chance, happen to be accurate.
    So, Doug might or might not have done things in this situation that require repentance (I’m sure he would acknowledge that he has although they might not be the things others are clamoring about) but the one thing that’s clear is that, due to this piece, you’ve now placed yourself in the “needing to repent” camp because you’ve slandered a Christian brother without even making the smallest effort to determine if what you were saying (to the world) was true.
    All that said, I hope the best in Christ for you and your family.
    Tom
    [NFR: “Slander” by definition is something that is untrue. If I have linked to something untrue, by all means correct me. Truth is an absolute defense against libel and slander. Not one of you has pointed out an untruth in my post. You seem to take the point of view that even if it’s true — and you will note that I linked to primary documents in the public record, as well as to Wilson’s defense — it still ought not to be talked about, because … why, exactly? It causes people to reflect critically on Doug Wilson and his ministry? I committed journalism. Journalism is not a sin. If you want to defend Wilson’s actions here, then defend them. But I’m not interested in listening to you tell me or anybody else to shut up about sexual abuse within the church because it is inconvenient for some who bloody well ought to be inconvenienced. I have been down that miserable and long road with the Catholic hierarchy and its defenders. This is all too familiar. — RD]

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Not surprised to find Christians who think it is worse to talk about abuse than to abuse. There is no sin, no crime too heinous that some Christians won’t say that it should be handled privately within the church. I read about a pastor who found out that that a member of his congregation had raped his son. He had been providing respite care to the mentally and physically disabled young man for a couple hours each week so his mother could run errands. He called the police and the man was arrested. Some people actually left the church because supposedly the man was repentant and they felt the crime should have been handled privately. While on bail, the perpetrator murdered the pastor’s wife and son. I have nothing but contempt for people that think it is wrong to bring evil to the light.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Following his elaborate posts on the beauty of Christian women I have visualized “the smirk on the jerk in the kirk.”

    “Smirk on the Jerk in the Kirk” — THAT IS ONE GOOD LINE!

    Like

  6. I’m really, really enjoying watching Doug squirm over this. We’re not done yet, though. This has to end with him forced to step down.

    Like

  7. On top of Dash’s posts about Doug Wilson, I concur with Dash, I am only hoping that somebody knows Christ Church’s insurance company and the college’s insurance company and turns them in. This is such a huge liability for insurance companies, the sexual abuse of minors (it’s the No. 1 reason that churches are sued every year according to insurance companies and attorneys who research and write about legal issues involving churches) that many insurance companies are dropping coverage for churches that don’t adhere to strict policies involving sex offenders. Other insurance companies are no longer willing to cover churches because the liability is too great for these cases (and churches are too irresponsible).

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The American Conservative has posted a response from Doug. It is beyond heart breaking how he is blaming the parents. Besides that, small facts are omitted here and there which paint a different picture. He is truly despicable.

    Like

  9. Wilson is spinning with his response. He makes much of the Greenbergs’ error of judgment in letting young men board with the family – but Wilson ASKED families to help out in this way. Why didn’t he think about the potential for trouble? Why didn’t he suggest a different arrangement in all the years Wight resided with the Greenbergs?

    Wilson alleges that the Greenbergs approved a chaste courtship but Natalie and her father say that that is not true. I believe the Greenbergs.

    Notice how Wilson insists that he did not minimize Wight’s offense but only wanted it made clear that Wight was not a pedophile. In this, he is using pedophile in the current clinical sense of being attracted to prepubescent children. There are two problems with this.

    First, that is not what he said, he said that Wight was not a sexual predator. That is untrue. He groomed her, he hid his behavior from others, and he did things to her that she did not like for his own satisfaction. He knowingly broke the law. He is a sexual predator.

    The second problem with this is that Wilson assumes that a man victimizing a teen has normal sexual desires since teens are physically mature. Maybe an immature 19 year old with a 15 year old girlfriend might have normal sexual desires but there was a ten year difference. That leaves us with two possibilities, that Wight is an ephebephile, someone attracted to young pubescent girls rather than mature women or that Wight is a controlling abuser who looks for vulnerability in a ‘partner’ so he can control her. The latter appears to be the case given his abuse if his wife. Wight is a manipulative predator. Either way, Wilson could have expected further bad behavior from Wight and indeed that is what happened.

    Wilson seems just astonished that his usual rhetoric is not working. Just keep talking, Wilson. You are telling everyone who you are.

    Like

  10. It is so immature how Doug Wilson keeps saying the internet mob. Cry, cry, people are not kissing my bottom on the internet.

    Doug Wilson is so spoilt he wants to be the only one on the internet judging and criticizing people. Doug Wilson cant take his own medicine.

    And those people posting at The American Conservative do not care what Natalie says or how Natalie feels, all that matters to them is how poor little Doug Wilson feels.

    “I might be able to help minimize the hurt that is careening around the Internet.”

    If Doug Wilson wanted to minimize hurt he would not be coddling pedophiles, and dismissing what the actual victim (Natalie) has said. Doug Wilson is selfish, he comes before sexual abuse victims.

    Doug Wilson has been saying hateful, selfish, heartless, dismissive things on the internet about Natalie’s feelings.

    Doug Wilson can dish it out, but he cant take it.

    I have fourteen year old cousins with more maturity, compassion, and comprehension of abuse victims feelings then Doug Wilson. Why doesn’t his cult just start taking the advice of the fourteen year old boys in my family, their morality trumps Doug Wilsons on their worse days, and they go to public school.

    Like

  11. Doug Wilson has now said things about the boarding situation involving Jamin Wight that remarkably diverge from Natalie’s account. Apparently the *real* reason he was boarded by the Greenfields was so he could have a covert romantic relationship with Natalie that no one else at Christ Church would know about. Even though her parents knew and approved the relationship, including handholding, etc.

    I am seriously looking forward to Natalie’s response.

    Like

  12. Here is part of a comment left in defense of Steven Sitler on the American Conservative Blog:

    ——–

    “Is there any such evidence in the case of Sitler? It is said, apparently on the basis of a polygraph examination, that Sitler “had contact with his child that resulted in actual sexual stimulation.” What does this mean? That he acknowledged that he had experienced sexual arousal in the presence of his child? That he denied it, but the polygraph examiner interpreted that as an evasive answer? What it does not say is that his encounter with his child resulted in the “actual sexual stimulation” of the child. There is no evidence he has engaged in any sexual misconduct since his marriage, much less with his own child. And now he is being denied the right to live with his own wife and child, the most fundamental right I can imagine in a non-totalitarian state, and without any evidence of wrong-doing on his part. This is all a product of a pattern of unwarranted intrusiveness of the American legal system into American marriages and families. What, because we no longer allow courts to punish most crimes of a sexual nature, we give them license to double down on those we do permit them to police, even in the absence of evidence to do so?

    How many fathers have not, at some time, experienced an erection looking at their comely daughter? This is human nature. There is no crime unless unlawful feelings precipitate unlawful actions. Most men who experience sexual arousal in the presence of their adult daughters control themselves. Why should our expectations be any different of the man who experiences sexual arousal in the presence of his infant child, if that, indeed, is what has happened in Sitler’s case?”
    ———

    First of all, if this idiot would read the court documents he would see that while taking the polygraph test Sitler ADMITTED that he was sexually aroused by his infant son. What is not clear is if there was anything MORE to confess since he failed the polygraph on this second point. His sexual response to his infant son is NOT in dispute.

    Second, being sexually aroused by one’s children is NOT normal, infant or adult, Siter is clearly not the only person with a problem.

    Third, there has already been recidivism in that Sitler admitted to peeping into a window at a young girl in 2007..

    It was evil to request leniency for Sitler. It was evil to match him with a young woman. It was evil to officiate at a marriage where the pedophile and his wife indicated that they wanted children. This was not a misunderstanding of pedophilia, this was not confusion, this was not hoping that the Holy Spirit would work a miracle for Sitler. If it was, there would be abject apologies. If it was, nobody would be trying to normalize sexual arousal to one’s own children. As shown by what Wilson and his followers are writing in defense of what was done, this is just plain evil.

    Like

  13. Marsha, Wilson complains that we are all misunderstanding the wording regarding leniency. For a man who prides himself on the use of English language, see how he gets to manipulate our understanding of basic English? What a guy!

    Like

  14. @Marsha,
    Excellent post about the evils at Doug Wilson’s church in Idaho.
    The Idaho legislature needs to also kick it in gear and change their state’s laws.
    Because Sitler shouldn’t be permitted to walk the streets, nor other sex offenders.

    Like

  15. How many fathers have not, at some time, experienced an erection looking at their comely daughter? This is human nature.

    Whoa, dude! That’s a little TMI, Is he sure he wants to admit to that? Assuming the man who left that comment is a Christian, it’s no wonder that churches are such unsafe places for kids. Exactly when did perversion become “human nature?”

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I am seeing a fair number of comments on TAC that are quite critical of Mr. Wilson. This is a good thing. Dreher and his magazine have an audience which needs to know about this situation.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. @Velour, thank you for saying that. I’m glad the Ezekiel verses were an encouragement!

    @Dash, at first I found your posts a bit jarring–so raw and heartfelt. And then I understood what a gift they are to me. Those jarring words knocked me off center and gave me a different view, allowed me to really feel through what is happening here, rather than just addressing the situation from an objective/practical/logical perspective. Thank you for being emotional and alive, and giving us permission to feel it too. I pray that justice will be yours in abundance.

    Like

  18. @BTDT:

    Whoa, dude! That’s a little TMI, Is he sure he wants to admit to that? Assuming the man who left that comment is a Christian, it’s no wonder that churches are such unsafe places for kids. Exactly when did perversion become “human nature?”

    Since you could start claiming “It’s all Under the Blood”.

    It’s the same racket as Manichaean Dualists — since sin only stains The Flesh(TM), you can rape your own daughters yet still be Spiritually and Morally Superior to that filthy publican over there.

    Like

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