First Church Men’s Breakfast Group

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Families of First Church’s Men’s Breakfast Group Mourn Their Loss

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churchsign

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Please pray for the families of First Church’s Men’s Breakfast Group as they grieve. The Men’s Breakfast Group was comprised of faithful men who cherished God’s word. More than just a once a month pancake gathering, the Men’s Breakfast Group loved serving God near and far. Last year they put a new roof on Widow Smith’s house. But her neighbor Widow Jones didn’t qualify for them to unstop her sink while they were there because she has able-bodied nephews who could do the task.

For this year’s annual short-term missionary trip, the men heard of a village in Kaping, Micronesia that needed a bridge over a creek. While there, they contracted a bacterial infection that the natives are immune to.  Don Miller, a recent convert, had taken a medical journal with the remedy. The book was authored by Terry Gold.

Being the Bereans that they were, they knew better than to receive instruction from a woman and offend God. When they could not determine with absolute certainty that Terry was a man, they threw the book in the ocean, thereby removing the temptation to consult it and condemn their souls while saving their lives. Such was their devotion to the Holy Scriptures.

A mealtrain has been set up to help feed their wives and children for a couple of weeks. To help the families financially, we have started a gofundme campaign as well.

contributed by: ACFJ’s Ellie

56 comments on “First Church Men’s Breakfast Group

  1. “When they could not determine with absolute certainty that Terry was a man, they threw the book in the ocean…”

    So funny! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love the redundancy in the church sign, noting that men were invited to the men’s breakfast. Do they really think women would consider themselves welcome at the men’s breakfast if it weren’t specified “Men are invited to …”?

    Why can’t men and women gather together in Christ’s name? That seems to be the model Jesus established and the apostles followed.

    And I’m with Kathi – drat those gender ambiguous names!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Last night I was at the church I’ve been attending. Laura Barron of Jews for Jesus gave an informative talk on the “Gospel in the Feasts of Israel”. After, driving home, I thought about all the churches (unlike the one I was at) that wouldn’t have a woman speak at unless it was just to speak to women and I thought how sad that is. Later I thought how that mindset really is playing into the Enemy’s plans to stop people hearing the Word of God.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha ha. My former church had a Businessmen’s Breakfast evangelism event at a hotel in a major city. Women were not invited.

    Can you imagine what a strange backward message the church was giving to the public?

    Something like, “If you want to find a place where women are unimportant — and we don’t want to hear about your daughter’s MBA program, come to our church.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Businessmen’s Breakfast”…

    So writers, singers, laborers, pizza delivery guys and salesmen are excluded?

    It’s like, “Hey, come meet Jesus, but only if you are white, over 30, and are at least a branch manager at your job!”

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Would the Gideon’s fall into the same category as “men only” club? Just wondering as I know some members have struggled with the exclusiveness of some groups where a Gideon at one time needed a bit of a ‘title”. Some have allowed “other men” to join. I know the wives help behind the scenes, of course.

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  7. @Witch Hazel,

    Yes, I hadn’t thought of it that way. You must be white, financially secure (or wannabe), and probably married too, although that wasn’t one of the criteria that I saw.

    Can you imagine a guy with an MBA or any knowledge of Human Resources who would be attracted to join a church that was so openly anti-woman?

    Embarrassing.

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  8. Yeah… just once, I’d like to see us girls having the barbecue over at the tire shop parking lot, and the guys playing musical chairs followed by making bows!

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  9. Oh, and I forgot about the part where each man would have to tell the group an unusual thing about himself when he was the one left standing up……….

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  10. I’m assuming this story is satire?

    If not, I’m going to sound insensitive LOLing at this. *LOL.*

    Regarding:
    “A mealtrain has been set up to help feed their wives and children for a couple of weeks.”

    Yes, and only women will be cooking the food served, amirite?

    Because cooking food and serving it is woman’s role. (The Bible says so in 1 Corinthians 3:24-46.)

    Like

  11. I have to call this out as a made up story anyway, because as I’ve seen on a few other blogs, churches many times do not help people in their very own church who are in need, seriously.

    I was at the “Cry for Justice” blog a couple days ago, and this lady on there – her husband divorced her, and would not support her or their two or three kids after he left them. She said her kids were going hungry. She had been going to this church for a few years, if I remember right.

    Her church refused to financially help them, or give them food.
    And this is in spite of the fact she kept telling the church about her needs, that she didn’t have the funds to buy food for her kids.

    The church kept telling her children that the free food they were packing in gift baskets during Sunday School were for “needy people” who were “in their community.”
    – As if the divorced lady struggling to pay her bills, and her kids who were packing this gift bags, were not needy people in their community??

    I am serious about that. I’ve seen the same thing play out with other people I’ve met online, churches who don’t feel they need to help people who attend their church who are having problems.

    Churches think the only people they should be helping are homeless crack addicts or orphans in third world nations. Other people do not count.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. oh my, Daisy … The Christian Nightmares blog! I never would have believed that such a poster could exist unless seeing it for myself. This is terrible.

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  13. sorry for the confusion- when I saw this article on your facebook page I was hoping the article was copied from The Onion the satirical/parody site, and wasn’t a true story. If is is a genuine story I am beyond words.

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  14. Daisy – I agree with the atheist’s response, too. I am just plain tired and disgusted with the so-called joking around “in church” … Our churches do not recognize a holy God. We can get so carried away with being funny; sadly much of the so-called joking is actually revealing a person’s heart.

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  15. JA, I am confused. Is this a parody or is it based loosely on something that happened? Please excuse my lack of understanding. Remember, I don’t have a penis to help me with the heavy mental lifting.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ok, I was going to wait until I got home from school to spill the beans, but Ann’s comment made me LOL hysterically in a car all myself.

    It’s satire. 👏👏👏😛😜👍

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I wrote this the other day after watching a woman pick a fb fight with a man. She was very upset that Aquila Report had carried an article by a woman that purported to instruct pastors. Just the irony of the fb pugilist’s insistence TO A MAN that it’s wrong for women to instruct men was getting to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Thats great.

    I was a member of a church in florida for several years and had my oldest son in their daycare from age 1.5 as well as my nephew, and even used their afterschool program after he went to elementary school. My husband walked out on us when my first son was 7 and my other son was 5 weeks old. I had to return to work fairly quickly and tried to put my baby in the same daycare as his brother. They stated he would have to go on a waiting list. Meanwhile i put him in a secular daycare around the corner. Weeks and months went by and i noticed my neighbor 2 doors down who wasnt even a member of the church bringing her new baby to the daycare. I decided to ask the office about my son and was informed they took him off the list assuming i no longer needed it. Why would i send my kids to 2 different places? I took my oldest son out of their afterschool program and into the secular one. Problem solved. I never understood that but thanks church. I have relocated to Tennessee and there are churches here that have helped us with food and we have never even been there.

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  19. Julie Ann the reason they had to put ‘Men are invited to….’ is because the women were expected to attend so they could cook the breakfast, serve the meal and then clean up afterwards. Duh

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  20. I took my oldest son out of their afterschool program and into the secular one. Problem solved. I never understood that but thanks church. I have relocated to Tennessee and there are churches here that have helped us with food and we have never even been there.

    Michelle,
    You know, sometimes when I read stuff like this it makes me think that churches hate women. What is WRONG with this picture?! HELLO!!! I’m going to have to hit reply right now before I get myself in my own doghouse. UGH this makes me angry to hear stories like yours!

    PS I’m so glad you have been helped at your new location.

    Like

  21. Remember, I don’t have a penis to help me with the heavy mental lifting.

    That is hilarious in so many ways I don’t know where to start.

    i will just say this. For all the complaining done about women and their hormones, well…men and their hormones and reasonable rational discussion….oh dear. :/

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Oh! A Satire. I can’t wait until my wise Godly husband comes home and explains why this tradegy is called satire. Maybe it comes from the words sad and tired? My man Jeb went to Mister Bob Joneses school of Correct Bible Knowledge so he knows great big secular words like satire, some kind of theory of revolution and how testosterone increases brain power. I just swoon over the smart things my man says. ( we here in the South like to swoon).

    I will let you know what he says about your post after I cook dinner, wash the dishes, put our babies to bed, vacuum ( but not too loudly or I will disturb his favorite TV show, “Slut Shaming God’s Way). He won’t let me watch it because I might become deceived like Mother Eve-and she was one smart woman. (Shh–Jeb don’t think much of her and says she was just a bag of twisted female hormones).

    Please be patient, cause Jeb has some important Lord’s work, but he promised me the men at First Baptist will explain why satire will send you women straight to Hell. In God’s Glorious name, your former Sister-in-Christ, Ann. PS. You still have time to repent, if you send $50.00 to the First Baptist Men’ Bible Study Breakfast and Buck hunting Bash.. Don’t let it be known that our menfolk are unforgiving. This tithe will wash you anew in the blood of—what’s his name? I will ask Jeb.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I’m still not convinced that this story is true. This page on SSB is the only matching page that comes early up on a web search on the most relevant phrases. I was expecting this page, plus one from a satirical publication such as The Onion, or The Daily Mash, for whom every day is April Fool’s Day. I failed to find out where JA had actually got this far-fetched story *from”.

    I have a category on my own blog, “April Fool!”, but I have only posted on one made-up news story on it so far, on 1st April 2014. The value of that story was that (a) it was utterly mad, but yet (b) that it was nevertheless mad in the sort of way that people no longer automatically believed that it was out of the question that the ruling class could possibly behave quite as madly as I’d pretended they had; the madness wasn’t incredible; this itself was a comment on the state of things at the time.

    I hope to think of another such prank in time for the coming April Fools Day 2015.

    JA, what exactly is your *source* for this bizarre and far-fetched story, about certain Merkin missionary tourists all dying together of a dreaded foreign lurgy, because they threw into the sea a medical book by a medical doctor who was gender-ambiguously christened “Terry”, unread, lest the said medical doctor who wrote it might, unscripturally, have turned out to be doctress? It’s not a story I have found anywhere else on the internet but here.

    If you’ve taken a scam bait tailored satirically to your subculture, please sigh “silly me”, but then rejoice that your subculture has “arrived”, if the witty are now lampooning your take on things.

    Or please cite your source, if you still want to stick by this unlikely urban legend.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. John, if you’d read the comments, you’d clearly see that I identified it as satire; additionally, the author identified herself in the comments.

    You can get off your high horse now.

    Liked by 3 people

  25. Oh! A Satire. I can’t wait until my wise Godly husband comes home and explains why this tradegy is called satire. Maybe it comes from the words sad and tired? My man Jeb went to Mister Bob Joneses school of Correct Bible Knowledge so he knows great big secular words like satire, some kind of theory of revolution and how testosterone increases brain power.

    Ann, you, too, can submit your great works of prose to me any time. You have my e-mail address.

    You are too funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Please pray for me I got some real awful news about the loss of a friend and some very bad health news concerning me. I am so scared to be honest.

    Like

  27. I just woke up. I am sorry about the loss of your friend. On top of that getting scary health report can certainly make the world seem out of control! I am up and praying that you have someone close by who can walk with you through these sad situations. Thank you or sharing here. Do you feel free to let us know what is going on with your health? How can we support you? I hope you got some sleep last night. You are in my thoughts and prayers. All my love, Ann

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  28. Things are looking better folks, I am much more relaxed, note for today dont lie to your doctor because your ashamed. Get help. Folks I think can read between the lines. 2 or more a night is way to much, just quit and get help.

    Liked by 3 people

  29. Thank you Brian, although it is difficult, never let shame interfere with good treatment! We all have our struggles and those who don’t are lying!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Were these faithful men of the “Promise Keepers” cult type and shadow of unbiblical headship? “The lord it over kind.”

    Like

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