* * *
Gary from the Calvary Chapel Abuse blog wrote this poem to the tune of Paul Simon’s Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover and gave me permission to share it here. The YouTube is below so you can get the tune in your head while reading. The lyrics are sad, but true for many of us.
Fifty Ways to Leave Your Pastor
The problem is all inside your head he said to me.
The answer is easy if you’re spiritual like me.
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free.
There must be fifty ways to leave your pastor.
He said it’s really not my habit to intrude.
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude:
There must be fifty ways to heal your spirit;
Fifty ways for you to hear it.
You Just slip out the aisle, Lyle.
Make a new life, wife.
You don’t need to be shy, guy.
Just get yourself free.
Just vote with your feet, Pete.
You don’t need to get dissed. miss.
Just drop off your shame, Mame.
And get yourself free.
He said it grieves me so to hear you moan and whine.
I wish there was something I could do to make you get in line.
I said I see through that and would you please explain
about the fifty ways…
He said why don’t you all just sleep on it tonight.
And I believe by Sunday you’ll begin to see the light.
And then he slandered me and I felt his back bite.
There must be fifty ways to leave that pastor
Fifty ways to leave that b—–d.
* * *