Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. Col. 3:21
Last week I posted about the Calvary Chapel Visalia Pastor Bob Grenier and his wife, Gayle against their stepson/son Alex and former church member Tim. I mentioned Bob’s son, Paul’s court declaration and the very strong emotions I felt when reading it. I did not feel the liberty to publish his declaration. Shortly after publishing my article, Dee of Wartburg Watch published an article and included a few paragraphs from Paul’s declaration on her blog article and included a link to the rest of the court document. It is a very difficult read.
Reader, Summer, encouraged me to post the declaration in her comment:
Julie Anne, I read Paul’s declaration last night and that is why I asked you to post it. As Monax stated above, we need to be enraged. That is why, as horrific as the statement is, I believe, we need to read it. Because we need to be incensed, we need to be mad, we need to be so angry that it will move us to action!!
Heavenly Father, please have mercy on these victims of this horrendous crime. Please, Lord, don’t let this man hurt anyone else.
I agree with Summer. So here we go. This excerpt comes from Dee’s article on The Wartburg Watch blog. It includes an excerpt from Paul’s testimony and the link to his complete court declaration:
Here is an excerpt from Paul Grenier’s deposition. I assure you that it only gets worse. If you can stomach reading more, click on the following link and then double click on the link on the page to which it brings you. P. Grenier Declaration iso SMTS text
Bob did, in fact, molest me. These are extremely humiliating and painful events to be forced to share publicly, but I am left with no other choice at this point since Bob has filed this lawsuit against Alex and while I would prefer not to be involved, I will in no way let Alex’s name be tarnished for telling the truth.
Bob began sexually molesting me at the age of five years old. These episodes began in the small shower in the bathroom that adjoined his and Gayle’s master bedroom. These abuses started with me being forced to shower with him naked against my will.
First, I was extremely uncomfortable and always had been by Bob walking around nude in front of me with his genitals exposed. And I knew inside of me at five years old that there was something wrong with having to take a shower with Bob. I knew that this type of behavior did not occur in the homes of my friends even at a young age.
The showers started with Bob washing me with soap and touching my genitals and my anus. I recall at least six occasions where Bob would insert his index finger inside my anus in what he would describe “to make sure I was clean.” Bob would also have me wash his genitals wherein he would be in a sexually aroused state during these episodes and at times he would not.
On two occasions I was forced to perform oral sex on Bob. Typical to the combination of physical and sexual abuse I endured at Bob’s hands, these showers would involve scalding hot water and I remember being in pain because of the heat of the water and also scared because of what he was doing to me.
Just two days ago, an article came out in the Fresno Bee, a local paper. This is not the first time the Fresno Bee has covered this case. Maybe I’m biased because I make it my intent to defend those who have no voice, but I had a really hard time with this article. I’ve cut and pasted only parts of the article which I found concerning. Please be sure to read the entire article (and don’t forget to leave a comment). My disappointment begins in the first paragraph:
VISALIA — A bitter family feud between mega-church pastor Bob Grenier and his estranged sons escalated this month with a son’s claim in court papers that his father sexually molested him as a child.
When reading the words “family feud”, it conjures up the idea of long-term quarreling. The words seem to dismiss so much of the real issue that Alex has been addressing on his blog about his father regarding alleged sex abuse cover-up, no accountability, spiritual abuse, alleged misuse of funds, stories of alleged sex abuse and physical abuse of his children, etc. The word “claim” annoys me. To me, “claim” leaves a measure of doubt in the mind.
In the first paragraph, I was left with an obvious question. I understand that the focus of this article is on the Grenier family, but what about Tim Taylor? Did reporter Lewis Griswold read the lawsuit? The lawsuit is against Alex AND Tim. Tim is 50% of the named defendants and his name is not even mentioned in this article? How odd is that?
Here’s more from the article:
The allegation by Paul Grenier, 31, is in a statement filed in Tulare County Superior Court in support of his brother Alex Grenier, 41, who is being sued for libel by their parents, Bob and Gayle Grenier. Alex was the first to publicly accuse his father of molesting Paul when he wrote about it online in 2011.
Now, Paul has gone public with the accusation, too. His court statement says that twice when he was 5, “I was forced to perform oral sex on Bob.” It also alleges instances of inappropriate touching.
But Paul Grenier has not filed a police report, even though state law allows adults to report alleged sexual abuse that happened when the victim was a minor.
Anybody with a modicum of understanding regarding child sex abuse knows that reporting sex abuse is one of the most difficult things a survivor can do. It means they have to rehash what happened to a stranger. This can leave feelings of sadness, grief, embarrassment, shame, anger. Who wants to dredge up those kinds of emotions? It makes perfect sense why someone would not report the crime, yet in this article, it paints Paul in a negative light for not reporting.
Bob Grenier, pastor of the 550-member Calvary Church Visalia, denies the sex abuse allegations and says they’ve taken an emotional toll on him.
Of course he denies the sex abuse. If they’ve taken an emotional toll on him, what about the emotional toll his sons?
Another son, Robert Grenier Jr., 29, who has stood by his parents, wrote in his own statement supporting the lawsuit that he never witnessed the alleged sexual abuse or heard about it.
Do you see how the article once again is casting doubts on the validity of the sex abuse by providing this statement? This statement says nothing. It doesn’t prove or deny anything. In families where sex abuse occurs, many times siblings do not know about it. How many brothers do you know would tell another brother that they had to perform oral sex on Dad? Give me a break. That’s just not something that is discussed. When sex abuse occurs, it primarily happens in secret and the secret is kept, sometimes for years or decades. Robert’s statement gives no credibility to anything. It’s just extra piffle.
Grenier’s lawyer, Nick Pritchett of Visalia, called Paul Grenier’s allegations “absolutely untrue.”
Ok, this is getting ridiculous. When was the last time you heard a lawyer not defend his client?
Grenier said Friday he has not decided whether to file a police report, saying that he lacked confidence that the allegations would be taken seriously. Under the law, such abuse alleged by someone age 28 or older can be investigated even if the 10-year statute of limitations has passed; prosecutors have one year to file charges.
Paul has a reasonable concern. His father is volunteer chaplain with the police department – a job he has maintained for a number of years. He rubs shoulders with the police – they are his friends. How likely would Paul’s story be heard without prejudice?
The estrangement between Bob and Gayle Grenier and their sons burst into the open three years ago when Alex and Paul Grenier filed a criminal report with the Visalia Police Department alleging that their father — a volunteer chaplain at the department — savagely and routinely beat them as children. They wanted him prosecuted for felony child abuse.
I wonder what the protocol is at the police department when someone files a criminal report? Did Bob Grenier have to step aside while being investigated? Was there an investigation done? How does it reflect on the Visalia Police Department when they have a volunteer chaplain who is suing his own family members and is also being accused of atrocious crimes against children? Would Bob Grenier’s friends at the police department be able to be unbiased? Maybe not. I cannot make the assumption that everyone at Visalia PD is corrupt or blinded, but knowing that Pastor Grenier maintains his position as volunteer chaplain does raise questions. Do we not have similar questions as to why CJ Mahaney is still invited to speak at conferences/churches while he is in the midst of a lawsuit involving similar claims? This is not unreasonable – this should be common sense.
Surely things are stirring in Visalia as this court case is heating up. I would like to ask my readers to continue to pray for all involved: Alex, Tim, Paul. Let’s pray that Paul will have strength to file the criminal report so that Bob Grenier can be thoroughly investigated. And if Paul does file a report, let’s pray that he will deal with someone from the police who has integrity and does not have biases based on current relationship with Bob Grenier. Surely there is someone there who understands sex abuse and will want to make sure due diligence is done in this case. I have to believe that.
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Note to readers: I have been disappointed at how little this story has been reported in the media. I have a group working behind the scenes to help that process along. Please prayerfully consider how you can help spread the word so this story will be told.