Wife Spanking, Christian Domestic Discipline, Domestic Violence
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19
In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:28
My heart grieves when I think about how people arrive at my blog. I am able to see the search terms that people use. There are primarily two topics that continually bring people to the blog from search engines: posts related to wives of pedophiles and posts related to “Christian Domestic Discipline, also known as wife-spanking, but more appropriately identified as domestic violence.
Jennifer, a new reader, left a comment on an old article, Christian Domestic Discipline (Wife Spanking): A Personal Story, and a Closer Look at Patterns Connected with this Abusive Practice. I decided to publish it here so that more people could see it and share their thoughts. I also do this with the hope in mind that others, too, may find this article and benefit from the community here.
Jennifer’s comment asks for our thoughts on her situation.
I grew up in a household with the paddle. At some point in our young marriage I told my husband. Maybe 6 months later, we had a bad few days and he arrived home announcing he had purchased a brand new paddle, and as the head of our home (never in question btw) he would issue discipline when needed. I thought OMG here I go again. Ten years later, not so bad. He has never been abusive and uses it sparingly.
I don’t often repeat behavioral mistakes.
It’s kept out of sight of guests, but in a place where I see it daily as a reminder “it’s there” (pantry).
It is used sparingly; if he mentions it during a tense time, I’m likely to calm down quicker to avoid its use.
Honestly, I’m scared by it and that fear fuels me to be kept in line.
Our marriage is stronger.
It’s an unpleasant experience.
A few times I’ve been upset because I felt it was applied to me under unfair circumstances.
I’m 34 and I want to overcome those issues that result in a paddling, but struggle with it. I think this is the most difficult aspect because without my husband’s willingness to use it I question whether or not I could maintain myself and my role in our marriage properly.
Folks, how can we encourage and support Jennifer?