ABUSE & VIOLENCE IN THE CHURCH, Christian Marriage, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence and Churches, Marriage, Saeed Abedini

Pastor Saeed Abedini Releases a Public Statement Denying Abuse Allegations Against His Wife

Julie Anne

Pastor Saeed Abedini,Nagmeh, Domestic Violence, Public Statement

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Idaho Statesman has issued a public statement by Saeed Abedini as follows:

 

Two weeks ago today I was released from an Iranian prison after being held captive for three-and-a-half years. My crime? Being a Christian and refusing to renounce my faith in Jesus Christ. Throughout my imprisonment my wife Naghmeh drew national attention to my case and encouraged millions of people to pray for my release. God answered those prayers and brought me safely home. Naghmeh has been a hero to me and suffered enormously as a result of being 7,000 miles away from me and being a single parent to our two precious children while traveling and leading a crusade on my behalf. I will always love her for her sacrifice.

Last November, Naghmeh began to write about our marriage on her Facebook page and suspended her public advocacy for me. Her Facebook reports have been widely reported in other media outlets, raising questions about me, and the state of our marriage. As a prisoner in Iran I was not able to respond to her comments and accusations. I have chosen not to respond in the two weeks I have been back in America because I believe personal issues are best dealt with personally.

When I arrived in America I went to the Billy Graham Training Center in North Carolina with my parents and my sister, fully expecting Naghmeh and our children to join me there. She chose instead to remain at home in Idaho, and when I arrived there this week I was met with news that she had filed a domestic relations case, apparently in order to ensure our children could remain in the state. Of course, I had no intention of taking our children away from our home or our state.

This latest development, which Naghmeh first made public, leads me to offer this brief statement.

  1. Our marriage is under great stress and I am hoping and praying for healing and restoration.
  2. I love my wife and want God’s will for both of our lives.
  3. I am a sinner, saved only by the wonderful grace of God. While I am far from perfect—as a man or as a husband, I am seeking every day to submit to God as He molds me into what He wants me to be.
  4. Much of what I have read in Naghmeh’s posts and subsequent media reports is not true. But I believe we should work on our relationship in private and not on social media or other media. Naghmeh wrote this week, “We are taking personal time to work on very serious personal issues.” I intend to do this hard work in private.
  5. The God I serve today is the same God I served while being interrogated and beaten in some of the harshest prison conditions in the world and He is capable of restoring a marriage that has withstood unbelievable pressure. I ask for prayer for another victory.

It is not my intention to speak further publicly—through social media or any other channels—at least until I believe we have made significant progress in private. I thank you for your understanding and support.

Please stay tuned for follow up articles on this troubling situation. -Julie Anne

 

 

 

196 thoughts on “Pastor Saeed Abedini Releases a Public Statement Denying Abuse Allegations Against His Wife”

  3. “Of course, I had no intention of taking our children away from our home or our state.”

    Why is this statement not sitting well with me? And why should it be her responsibility to come cross-country to meet him and his family? Why not go see her first, and then return to the NC area to meet with Mr. Graham?

    I’m sorry, but this just reeks of an abusive mind set to me. My prayers are with their family, but especially Nagmeh and the children right now.

    Liked by 7 people

  5. Much of what I have read in Naghmeh’s posts and subsequent media reports is not true.

    Well, this is typical. I don’t trust the word of a man who is guilty of domestic assault. According to Judith Herman in Trauma and Recovery:

    It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering. . .

    In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator’s first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. (pp.7-8)

    Liked by 8 people

  6. Someone on TWW left a very interesting comment which sheds light on Franklin Graham’s agenda in supporting Saeed. I think the “machine” will be very invested in keeping Naghmeh quiet and keeping things “private.” I’m becoming more concerned for her.

    Any time Gateway gets involved folks, depend on it being all about the power and money. This is no different. Wherever Swicegood is involved, his partner and BFF The Church Law Group Partner David Middlebrook is as well. That means Saeed will have a 14 lawyer law firm at his disposal. Although many would assume Naghmeh’s nightmare has finally ended, in reality, she needs our prayers now more than ever. These men will not tolerate her raining on their victory lap.

    http://thewartburgwatch.com/2016/01/29/to-the-naghmeh-abedini-doubters-saeed-abedini-pled-guilty-to-domestic-violence-in-2007/comment-page-1/#comment-237514

    Liked by 4 people

  8. Also, the BGEA uses the DeMoss PR firm.
    I really hope Naghmeh has people around her who are not swayed by powerful men, their money or their agenda.

    Liked by 7 people

  10. The statement reads like it came from the pr department at the Billy Graham Association.

    It probably did.
    Remember what Saeed did first when he got back to the States?
    Hole up and hobnob with REVEREND Franklin Graham for almost a week.

    Liked by 4 people

  11. “I am a sinner…” “I am far from perfect…” How easy it will be for people to forgive and forget.

    All the right Christianese buzzwords to trigger the Pavlovian reflex response in the Christianese brainstem. Stimulus –> Response. Stimulus –> Response.

    Liked by 6 people

  12. Is it possible we’ve haven’t been told the whole truth about the circumstances of “pastor” Abedini’s imprisonment in Iran? Is it just possible that, if we knew the whole story, we would be compelled to conclude that he ought to have been imprisoned, and maybe still should be? I mean, I don’t believe a word he says in his statement (including his promise to remain silent going forward). Why would I believe what he tells us about his Iranian imprisonment?

    One thing’s for sure. We have a report that he has already pleaded guilty to one charge of domestic assault. If there is another incident of domestic assault he needs to spend time behind bars right here in the good old U.S. of A.

    Liked by 5 people

  13. Also, I really, really do hope that neither Franklin Graham nor anybody else associated with Billy Graham allows themselves to be recruited as Abedini’s allies. We should not be surprised that we have reason to believe the recruitment attempt in well under way. Recruiting allies is just something abusers do.

    Liked by 6 people

  14. I’ve got pages of notes and screenshots on this case and just when I think I’m getting a post together, I hear or find new information. There are so many angles here that it’s difficult for my brain to settle on one specific issue. I’ll try to get something out soon. I posted this from my phone at my son’s basketball game (thank you, Kathi, for help with the formatting – she rocks).

    This I will say. There is more here than just Naghmeh and Saeed. While they represent the faces of abuse, there is much more going on. (If you haven’t seen Spotlight, it’s worth seeing.)

    Liked by 5 people

  15. Naghmeh,

    We believe you.

    If you or anyone who knows you is reading this…

    We believe you.

    We are your friends.

    That’s all.

    Liked by 7 people

  16. J.A.,

    Uh, are you implying what I think you’re implying with that Spotlight reference? Are you suggesting in the home or in their church?

    Also, someone needs to get screen captures of everything before stuff starts disappearing.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Hey, I got to know Saeed briefly before he got locked up 4 years ago. So I’ve been following this story closely.

    The abuse allegations don’t really add up on both sides. Is this really abuse or just some rows on the telephone? Do prisons really let people have porn or internet there?

    This idea of a physical assault in 2007. I think this is made up. I did some research. Go to this web site https://www.idcourts.us

    copy Saeed’s name and date of birth from his Wikipedia site.

    The current legal cases are on there. Saeed committed a driving offence in 2010. I don’t know much about US law. there is no offence of hitting his wife made public. If someone knows of another source I can find this publicly I’d like to see it.

    he might be firey person who has rows with his wife that could endanger his wife, but I’m not sure if hits her. Of course domestic assault is absolutely abhorrent.

    Like

  19. Excellent comments made to this post.
    I was sickened as I read Saeed Abedini’s public statement. Maybe it’s because I am still trying to cope with circumstances where my nice abuser(s) just can’t seem to do anything wrong … and that I should just forgive and forget like a “good Christian” and allow the emotional abuse to continue …
    As for Saeed wanting to keep this private? Duh, I don’t think so. His imprisonment and release was made very public. His wife rallied for him publicly. He has sought the aid and comfort of some very well-known public ministries … AND NOW he desires privacy?? Reminds me of a pastor who suggested that I had no right to air “the dirty laundry” of our circumstances after years of making the abuser(s) looking so respectable.
    Praying for Naghmeh — everything will be done to keep her silent. Wickedness and evil is ruthless. Praying that people with integrity will step forward and support her.

    Liked by 5 people

  20. “My wife is a total liar, but I love her and want God’s will for us. I’m not going to say what she actually lied about, but I’m just going to vaguely say most of its lies, hit all the Christian buzz words, and play the persecution card to get out of being open and honest.”

    I despise this press conference statement bull**** – once in a lifetime, I want to see an accused perpetrator fire his PR team and try to be real on social media or blog or something. You have a problem with your wife, and you’re hiding behind the Franklin Graham hype machine. Why?

    Also, can we dispense with the “I’m a sinner” admission? That’s a given. You are accused of being abusive, and have plead guilty to domestic assault charges in the past. We all think it’s highly likely you’re a sinner. rollseyes

    Liked by 8 people

  21. Wow! ~

    “Much of what I have read in Naghmeh’s posts and subsequent media reports is not true”

    Translation of the entire statement:

    Blah blah blah blah

    More blah blah blah

    Still more blah blah blah

    My wife is a liar and I am innocent

    Blah Blah Blah

    And finally, blah blah blah.

    This guy just proved his guilt. God help his wife and children.

    Liked by 6 people

  24. Not to discredit anyone else’s suffering with abuse- but we at least need to be careful to not be biased to what Nagmeh has released, simply because she released her information first. The phrase “innocent until proven guilty” comes to mind for both sides of this story, and most of us here are probably very under qualified to determine who is innocent or guilty(starting with the acknowledgment that most of us are not directly connected to this family).

    Liked by 2 people

  25. re: Jonathon’s comment: “…sorry I meant endanger his relationship. I don’t yet see anything to show Saeed hits her.”
    Does Saeed have to hit her in order for it to be considered an abusive relationship?
    Emotional scars of abuse are very deep and there is internal bleeding that cannot be stopped if others insinuate that nothing is wrong!

    Liked by 5 people

  26. “You have a problem with your wife, and you’re hiding behind the Franklin Graham hype machine. Why?”

    People, even families, are expendable. The illusion, however, is sacrosanct.

    With this in mind, it might also be worth pointing out, especially given the dog-whistle jargon, the target audience of the Graham-issued statement probably is true believers instead of the general public. More than anything, the wording may represent in-the-fold damage control rather than a plea for outside understanding. .

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Damn it, Loni True, would you just stop it with this “innocent until proven guilty” and “both sides of the story” crap? You may speak from ignorance or naivety, but if your advice were to be universally heeded, there would never, ever, be a time when ANYBODY could come to the aid of abused women or (on rare occasion) men.

    Liked by 5 people

  28. @Jonathan

    This idea of a physical assault in 2007. I think this is made up. I did some research.

    Dee, from The Wartburg Watch, had this response to your question about the records:

    It has something to d with the filing of the older pleas. The local newspapers have requested the records and as soon as they are published I will link to them here.

    http://thewartburgwatch.com/2016/01/29/to-the-naghmeh-abedini-doubters-saeed-abedini-pled-guilty-to-domestic-violence-in-2007/comment-page-1/#comment-237580

    Just because you can’t find the records doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

    Liked by 3 people

  29. Someone made an interesting observation on TWW yesterday that you never read/hear the “two sides to every story” deflection said to an abuser. It’s always said to a victim. I doubt Saeed’s cohorts are saying it to him.

    Liked by 4 people

  30. “You may speak from ignorance or naivety, but if your advice were to be universally heeded, there would never, ever, be a time when ANYBODY could come to the aid of abused women or (on rare occasion) men.”

    No kidding. I doubt people think this one through. They seem to have no clue how this works. and without bruises or broken bones, forget it. Never mind living in continual psychological abuse such as living with a pornograher or NPD.

    This is why no fault divorce is so important.

    In my experience with advocacy, the judge I always hoped for was often in rehab as an alcoholic. But he was very fair. And if there kids in the house he threw the book at them.

    Liked by 5 people

  31. Here we go! To presume Saeed is innocent is to presume that Naghmed is a liar. You have made your choice. I believe her! What would her motive be? Do you think she a liar? Crazy? No one has impugned her character until now. When she was a submissive wife, she was praised.

    She never said he was viewing Internet porn in prison. I addressed this in an earlier post.

    Years ago, there was a court case of abuse. The husband had tied his wife down and filmed her struggling and crying while he abused her. She got loose, ran to the neighbors for help, and called the police. During the trial, the film was shown but he claimed that they had a consensual abusive relationship and that she had set him up because she wanted to divorce him and gain an advantage. The jury found him not guilty. Even seeing the abuse won’t convince some people.

    Liked by 5 people

  32. The same Lift Chasing urge that possesses men to fall into line supporting women who drown their children or murder their husbands is manifest here, where after years of praying for the life and release of a man imprisoned by a hostile regime, one tiny reference to the word abuse and its over, done, guilty, stone him, banish him, never mind that not one of you would likely withstand a day of prison for your Savior because you are unable to withstand the strong stare your wife would give you if you did not fall into line bashing a man you know NOTHING about except what his wife said and part of what she said was that she was being abused from a prison cell on the other side of the world.

    The more likely story unfolding, the one that has unfolded under your clueless noses since about 1973, is that reality is being bent to the will of a woman who wishes to jettison her husband …..but thats not all….to have the empathy of the Christian community while doing so. Women who do this while present and living here at home with the husband can more easily turn their church against a man who likely would like to get away, but knows that head down forge ahead is what he should do. She can whisper that she feels unheard……BAM……he is an abuser.

    But this ridiculously transparent story she is unfolding is what seems written by a PR department, not Saeed’s statement. If you think Franklin Graham is going to defend a man when a woman cries abuse your awareness must reach about a ,millimeter from your nose. Its 180 degrees opposite.

    Gotta get some pro Saeed advocacy going. You sunken chested men thinking you win female favor by pandering here, piling on to a narrative that is so silly as to be incredible, that this ingratiates you to your wives and other women, ask yourself if you’d like to be taken down with a story as absurd as this, with a set of circumstances so bizarre no one would instantly fall in line and trash you.

    Oh, they will. Your friends and family, your church, they all will. They will do so even if your wive makes no abuse allegation.

    Like

  33. Overcomer….remember your ridiculous words here. Someone is accused of something, they respond by saying they are innocent…..that proves they are guilty.

    Is there a rational thought in any of that?

    Overcomer is loving the vicarious chop licking schadenfreude here.

    No?,

    See that. The denial, the assertion that I lie makes it even more evident that Overcomer is guilty. Dont bother with words, they mean blah blah

    Like

  34. one tiny reference to the word abuse

    He was guilty of domestic assault. That’s not a tiny reference. And Naghmeh didn’t “drown [her] children or murder [her] husband.” Or do you think it’s okay to now make false accusations about her?

    Liked by 3 people

  36. Tony Miano, his attitude, and his “brave” trips to Scotland to share his “gospel” come to mind in all of this. We like to think of missionaries as selfless, but no doubt some choose that vocation because you can essentially name yourself as “anointed” and be revered by the faithful with utterly no qualifications (character or education) whatsoever.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. We like to think of missionaries as selfless, but no doubt some choose that vocation because you can essentially name yourself as “anointed” and be revered by the faithful with utterly no qualifications (character or education) whatsoever.

    True that.

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Well hello Julie Ann. Im aware of that. And six months ago, were you railing that Naghmeh should file papers and not advocate for Saeed, etc.? because, surely you knew of that 2007 charge, right?
    Nevertheless, the statement Saeed made said that there were untruth’s in Naghmehs words. To which Overcomer graciously responded in love saying that proves he is guilty.

    Would you like to lay that out for me, as a Christian if that is who you are, or even in a secular justice sense?

    Or, is it simply too juicy to pile on another bad man with the most over defined concept in western relational psychology and family law…..abuse….something that needs its own sort of Lilly Ledbetter law to show the inequality in application.

    Most men sufferthe items on Overcomers list that followed her blah blah post before we have our morning coffee, and since abuse is possible from 4000 miles away, how much more by phone or text all day while a man is working.
    You dont defend victims. You defend women. If they are actually a victim, well, you got it covered

    Like

  40. been there done that….are you serious? Or are you too young to get the reference about drowning kids? I didnt accuse Naghmeh of anything. You need to bone up on being more aware of the worlds events before you tackle a case like Saeeds.

    Like

  41. You need to bone up on being more aware of the worlds events

    And you could use some anger management therapy. I am well aware of what you referred to. Could you please point out where anyone here has defended a woman who drowned her children or murdered her husband?

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Just in case anybody would like to know what kind of person we’re dealing with, our troll-faced commenter begins his first contribution with a reference to lift chasing. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, he does us the favor (or “favor”) of defining the term. In a blog post to which I will not link he says, “The Lift…. The term finds its origin in the actual lifting of a woman’s midsection to afford the removal of her unmentionable garments. Its her allowing access.”

    We are not dealing with a nice person. I vote that he be flushed down the SSB doghouse toilet.

    Liked by 3 people

  45. BeenThereDoneThat,

    MRA is a world into which I had never peered until I skimmed through Troll’s blog articles looking for the above-quoted definition. I feel dirty, kind of like I had just, say, shared a cramped shower with Larry Flint.

    Liked by 3 people

  47. Ooohh, he sounds like an MRA! OMgawds, call the cops!

    You all sound so ready to throw those stones. No wonder no one goes to church anymore.

    Gary, you need to get out more. You sound like a femicant. Did empath get your knickers in a knot?!

    Like

  53. What’s interesting is that the Saeed defenders here aren’t appealing whatsoever to to anything about him other than him being a man. I would’ve thought this topic would’ve been an opportunity to examine again the effects of Christian “celebrity” culture. That seems to be irrelevant to the fact that he’s the man and she’s the woman.

    Liked by 2 people

  55. What’s interesting is that the Saeed defenders here aren’t appealing whatsoever to to anything about him other than him being a man

    That’s how Men’s Rights Activists roll. They likely don’t really care about Saeed either. It’s all about women bashing.

    Liked by 2 people

  56. This statement makes Naghmeh even more remarkable in my eyes. Saeed had everything set up for a triumphant return full of book deals, speaking engagements, and identity as a hero of the faith. Naghmeh could have kept quiet and chosen to be part of that.

    She would have been highly in demand at women’s conferences. Any book she penned would be a guaranteed success, as she encouraged Christian wives to support their husbands in the midst of their own “prisons.” Her family’s visit to the Graham conference center would have presented all of that and “counseled” her on the appropriate way to respond and behave. After conferences and books, she would have fame, significance, and literally millions of dollars to indulge whatever dreams she wanted. She and her children would have been set for life.

    (With all the busyness and resources at their disposal, she wouldn’t even need to see Saeed if she didn’t want to; they could lose themselves in separate speaking engagements and just come together for photo ops. It would have been so easy.)

    Instead, she resisted the pull of celebrity Christianity and didn’t go to the conference center. She knew people would defend her husband, the faithful martyr, and spoke truth anyway. Every part of her life is going to be evaluated, her motherhood and motives questioned, and she took steps to protect her children. The powerful are going to oppose her. It’s not Naghmeh against Saeed; it’s she against all those big names. She is defying all of that.

    I pray that Saeed would be transformed by Christ and led to true repentance. Naghmeh, may God give you and your children abundant peace and strength. You are an amazing woman.

    Liked by 7 people

  58. Does anyone know if Iran allows prisoners to view porn?

    Also, how could he verbally abuse his wife while in prison? Even if he did verbally and emotionally abuse her during his sentence I don’t think we can actually say that’s his entire fault. The man was beaten so badly his intestines ruptured. The psychological impact is beyond what most of us can comprehend.

    Like

  59. Something about January posts brings the far side folks here. Last year it was marital rape, this time around domestic abuse by a pastor.

    In scrolling back through Naghmeh’s Facebook posts, I saw that she has been involved in a lot of speaking engagements at women’s conferences or faith based conferences over the past year. By coming forward with the abuse she risks everything. She worked tirelessly to bring attention to Saeed’s imprisonment. She loves him and wants him to be a part of his children’s lives. But I would guess that during their separation the veil of abuse was lifted and she came to a realization of what life is like not having to live with an abusive partner.

    By publicly stating her abuse, she risks how people will view her. I keep hearing that she should not have made private matters public (even Saeed is saying that), however, she has shown the world that sometimes people are not who they seem to be. On the outside we see a pastor imprisoned for his beliefs. Now, on the inside, we see a man who is controlling, and he is attempting to regain control of the narrative. And, sadly, I see the evangelical powerhouse coming to the side of the freed prisoner as opposed to the abused spouse.

    I keep thinking back to Julie McMahon. How I would love it if Julie and Naghmeh could talk together. I think they have a lot in common in terms of public perception and institutional response.

    Liked by 4 people

  60. JM – Believe it or not, it is possible to verbally and emotionally abuse someone over the phone, through letters or through second hand passing of information (meaning information he would have passed through his parents on to her). Words are words whether they are spoken in person or through other means.

    Given that he endured years in prison and torture, I would suspect he might have issues with PTSD, which adds another risk factor to Naghmeh’s potential abuse.

    Liked by 4 people

  61. Oh for crying out loud, she did NOT say that he was viewing porn in prison. She said that she was abused physically, emotionally and sexually during their marriage, the latter because of his porn addiction. She said they were able to Skype and speak on the phone and the verbal abuse was even worse during his imprisonment. Of course she didn’t say the physical abuse and sexual abuse increased while he was in prison! However, the threats might have worsened or he might have spoken about what he planned to do to her sexually.

    Can you Saeed defenders stop with the “She’s a liar; she said he viewed porn in prison” defense already?

    Liked by 3 people

  63. She said he abused her in several ways throughout the marriage and got worse during his imprisonment. In the email she also stated she had looked forward to greeting him… But he was abusive? Maybe she still loved him ? But not enough to continue public support while he was being beaten?

    It doesn’t seem logical or make any sense to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  64. The Idaho Statesman said this: “The court case is listed in the Idaho court repository under his full last name, Abedinigalangashi, case number CR-MD-2007-8637.” When you search the repository, just enter the year, 2007, and the last 4 digits, under “Civil.” Guess what it will show you? The case is sealed. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  66. JW – There is no logic in a victim’s response to abuse. Every victim is unique in type of abuse, experience and response. It is not uncommon for victims to love their abusers. At one point the abuser was loving, charismatic, attentive, etc. There was something special about the abuser that drew the victim to him/her. If an abuser started off the relationship as abusive, then most likely the relationship would have never continued. Add children into the mix and the relationship becomes even more complicated.

    Liked by 2 people

  67. “Does anyone know if Iran allows prisoners to view porn?”

    People who keep asking this question either:

    Are so poor at reading comprehension as to be illiterate.
    Are disingenuously and maliciously choosing to mischaracterize the clear meaning of what Nagmeh wrote.
    Are deceived by their own predisposition to assume that accusations of abuse, at least when made by women, are always lies uttered in attempt to attain a position of dominance and contro, (i.e., they are engaged in projection).
    Are putting their own misogyny on full display.
    Are exhibiting the fruits of a deep seated objectification of women, who they perceive as existing for not other purpose than to serve men’s desires for power, control, admiration and sexual pleasure.
    Are at some level attempting to assuage uncomfortable feelings that arise out of their own guilty identification with Saeed.
    Are frustrated that there are women who simply will not submit to the false sense of male entitlement engendered by the lies of “Christian” patriarchy and complementarianism.
    Are guilty of some combination of two or more of all of the above.

    It would be interesting to know what percentage of men who claim to doubt Nagmeh are themselves consumers of pornography. Birds of a feather . . . .

    Liked by 3 people

  68. Saeed was beaten in prison? You ‘know’ this because he said so and you believe him, but you don’t believe his wife when she said he abused her. Biased much?

    Liked by 4 people

  69. Pingback: Articles on Naghmeh Abedini, who is bravely exposing the abusive behaviour of her husband, Pastor Saeed Abedini | A Cry For Justice

  70. Marsha he was hospitalized for the violence and Iran confirmed it.

    I am not a misogynist, I’m a female. Women are sinners and are capable of telling lies just like men. Accepting naghmehs statement means 100% saeed is an abuser. It’s he said vs she said. Have men abused women? Yep! Have women lied about abuse ? Yep! ( Rolling Stones anyone?).

    The problem is you’ve all said “he’s totally guilty” without knowing what truly happened. Because one of them is lying.

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  71. Sorry, JM. Unless there is some elaborate deception going on, “Pastor” Saeed has already pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of domestic abuse. You may not be a misogynist (and I will concede that you likely are guilty of no more than being illiterate in your misrepresentation of what Naghmeh said), but I dare say you most certainly have become a tool of misogynists, however unwittingly.

    Liked by 4 people

  72. XianJaneway … thank you for the additional information you supplied in your comment above. I don’t know if I used a different route to get to the Idaho/Ada Country Magistrate Court online repository, but I found the case details were there. So, I got a screenshot of the 2007 misdemeanor domestic assault case. It has been posted on TWW:

    http://thewartburgwatch.com/2016/01/31/for-the-continuing-naghmeh-doubters-yes-saeed-really-did-plead-guilty/

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Gary W and Marsha – Naghmeh Abedini did indeed accuse Saeed of viewing Porn while in Evin prison and here are her words verbatim: ‘he was not broken in prison because he had access to phone and was watching sexual/porn and was skyping and calling instead of spending that time with the Lord.’ (January 28th – public domain – Facebook comment in response to Jason Dolly Cassar. ) She also made other comments

    To the other comments on the DV conviction it may be important to note that the sealing of DV records is common in Idaho if the accuser does not voice opposition. The defendant returns to Court subsequent to the DV case disposition – typically a minimum of 18 months later – and appears before an Ada County Magistrate. At the hearing, the requestor (in this case Saeed) appears before the Magistrate and requests a sealing of the record and provides an opportunity to the accuser or other witnesses to speak, essentially to quash the request to seal. In some states misdemeanor DV convictions are sealed as a matter of course after seven years by default if the perpetrator has not had a subsequent arrest. It is clear from this thread that the commenters here are of the firm opinion that misdemeanor DV is essentially a lifetime brand and can never be forgotten and/or forgiven even if the perp is never arrested again.

    Since the record is sealed I can only speculate that it was a plea bargain offer from the Ada County DA for Saeed to enter a guilty plea in exchange for deferred time/parole. This is very common, and has substantial consequences for the person accepting the plea. Of course the benefit for the State is they do not have to meet the reasonable doubt requirements of a jury trial and can save the expense of prosecution, the benefit to the person accepting the plea is they don’t roll the dice with more substantial jail time other than what was likely a stay in jail and a mandatory 72 hour restraining order after discharge. In Idaho it could be anything from misdemeanor assault to taking the phone from someone trying to call 9-1-1. What is public record is that the disposition of the case was in 2007; nine years ago. There are no previous or subsequent cases in Idaho with Saeed other than two speeding citations.

    And before you case aspersions my direction for my dissent and presentation of information; I am not illiterate, not a misogynist, do not view or otherwise consume pornography, I am married, I am gainfully employed, I have three daughters and understand civil law and DV law reasonably well.

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  74. I think he’s probably guilty of domestic violence/abuse but having plead guilty may simply have been his agreeing to a kind of plea deal [ D.A. says plead guilty to this minor charge and all your problems go away, very expensive problems – even if you’re innocent. ]
    *
    I continue to be amazed at people’s naivety regarding the American court system. Knowing he plead guilty doesn’t necessarily mean he was.

    Did you ever plead guilty to a ticket which you didn’t deserve just to make the problem go away? I have.

    But taking into account his mid-eastern background, I suspect he’s guilty.

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  76. Thank you, Anonymous. Your contribution is helpful, although I do maintain that the existence of a guilty plea to domestic assault, however old, discredits those who are making charges to the effect that Naghmeh must be lying, and such like. In fact, I cannot help but wonder why you are attempting the minimize the significance of such a guilty plea.

    Since you appear to be knowledgeable, I am wondering if you would be able to confirm whether the following provisions of the Idaho Code are the current versions of the statutes defining the crime to which Saeed pleaded guilty, and, if so, whether there is any significant difference from the 2007 statutes:

    18-918(3)(a) A household member who commits an assault, as defined in section 18-901, Idaho Code, against another household member which does not result in traumatic injury is guilty of a misdemeanor domestic assault.

    18-901 An assault is:

    (a) An unlawful attempt, coupled with apparent ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another; or

    (b) An intentional, unlawful threat by word or act to do violence to the person of another, coupled with an apparent ability to do so, and doing some act which creates a well-founded fear in such other person that such violence is imminent.

    If these statutes are apropos, the conviction is for attempt or credible threat rather than for actual battery/contact. Of course the possibility would remain that there was actual battery, but it was plea bargained down to “mere” assault. I don’t suppose Saeed will volunteer the information, I which case I, for one, will choose to deem him permanently disqualified from ministry.

    Liked by 2 people

  77. I had heard somewhere that domestic abuse convictions fall in the area of family courts and are therefore sealed. I don’t know if this is true, but I have heard that if there is a restraining order against someone you have met you can’t find it due to it being sealed. This would also explain the previous domestic abuse records being sealed.

    Liked by 1 person

  78. What a horrible brood of vipers. Feminism and Christianity are not compatible. You are in serious error. READ YOUR BIBLES. Pray for God to give you wisdom. Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. I have no doubt you would ban Christ Himself where He to comment here.

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  81. JDG, You would do well to emulate the tone exhibited by Anonymous a few comments up. While I am curious to know why s/he (I’m going to assume he) comes to Saeed’s defense, he does so in a respectful, informative, manner. He thereby earned our respect, and I hope that I succeeded in being respectful to him when I responded.

    You, on the other hand, reveal yourself to be one who appears to speak from the depths of the misogynistic, patriarchist/complementarian women-are-property cesspool into which fundamentalist evangelical “Christianity” has descended.

    Liked by 5 people

  82. Some of us are feminists because we read the Bible.

    Maybe you need to update your definition of feminist, and revisit your definition of Christian. One or both are in error.

    Not possible. You would have to twist the scriptures beyond recognition to believe what you wrote.

    The Bible tells us that one who follows Christ is a Christian. You can’t follow an ideology from hell and also follow Christ.

    You follow an ideology that is responsible for the murder of millions of pre-born babies, an untold number divorces, children born out of wedlock, sex anywhere and anytime, and the disintegration of the family.

    Feminism = Jezebel

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  83. For those doing research, here is additional information. (Thanks for the questions in one of your previous comments, Gary W.) This doesn’t give us all the details of how the relevant statute read in 2007/2008 when the case was filed and the final disposition noted, but helps clarify the questions for searching to find the answers.

    Working from the screenshot of the 2007 domestic assault court case as posted on The Wartburg Watch at …

    … confirms that section 18-918(3)(a) is the relevant statute.

    Then, going to the Idaho code for that statute at …

    https://legislature.idaho.gov/idstat/Title18/T18CH9SECT18-918.htm

    … at the bottom of the page, the “History” footnotes show that the last amendment to this section of statutes was made in 2009, and before that, in 2005. [We’d have to track the legislative records to find what specifically changed in 2009 to figure out what was current in 2007/2008 when the case was active.] Click on the link at the bottom of the page for “How current is this law?” and we find that the version listed is current as of the 2015 legislative session.

    See also section 18-913(3)(c) for what is current about a second conviction within 10 years of the first, whether it was pleading guilty or found guilty. (I split this into three paragraphs to make it easier to read. The first one is for first conviction, the second for a second conviction within 10 years, the three paragraph if for three convictions within 15 years.)

    (c) A first conviction under this subsection (3) is punishable by a fine not exceeding one thousand dollars ($1,000) or by imprisonment in a county jail not to exceed six (6) months, or both.

    Any person who pleads guilty to or is found guilty of a violation of this subsection (3) who previously has pled guilty to or been found guilty of a violation of this subsection (3), or of any substantially conforming foreign criminal violation, notwithstanding the form of the judgment or withheld judgment, within ten (10) years of the first conviction, shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail for a term not to exceed one (1) year or by a fine not exceeding two thousand dollars ($2,000) or by both fine and imprisonment.

    Any person who pleads guilty to or is found guilty of a violation of this subsection (3) who previously has pled guilty to or been found guilty of two (2) violations of this subsection (3), or of any substantially conforming foreign criminal violation or any combination thereof, notwithstanding the form of the judgment or withheld judgment, within fifteen (15) years of the first conviction, shall be guilty of a felony and shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for a term not to exceed five (5) years or by a fine not to exceed five thousand dollars ($5,000) or by both fine and imprisonment.

    MODERATOR NOTE: Comment edited to clarify the first paragraph, and also to split the quotation of statute 18-913(3)(c) into three paragraphs for easier reading.

    Liked by 3 people

  84. Gary – I have nothing to gain by earning your respect. Error is error. Anyone who can describe patriarchy as a cesspool is clearly blinded by this modern age.

    You are basically claiming that virtually Christian who ever lived before the 1850s speaks “from the depths of the misogynistic, patriarchist/complementarian women-are-property cesspool “.

    Why should I want people who think like that to respect me? Rather shouldn’t I want you to open your eyes and see your error?

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  85. JDG,
    You’re just repeating what you already said, and escalating the language. Why bother? If you’re not interested in seeing our point of view, move on. The Jezebel language is laughable rhetoric.

    I’m a feminist because I believe every human being holds the image of God equally, and should be treated as such, and that changes things. If you have a problem with that definition, then you are the one who has work to do, but it seems you are violently reacting to a caricature. Educate yourself, get to know us, before blasting the people here with labels.

    Liked by 3 people

  87. I know one thing. The kind of hatefulness displayed by JDG isn’t of Christ.

    I am a feminist and a Christian. So is my husband. We believe that women and men should have equal rights politically, socially, and economically -which is the definition of feminism. Jesus came for men AND women.

    Liked by 5 people

  88. If you have a problem with that definition, then you are the one who has work to do …

    How does this even make sense? I’ve done my homework, and to remain faithful to God I must disagree with the spirit of this blog, which is one with the spirit of this age.

    I agree with this though: If you’re not interested in seeing our point of view, move on.

    I’ve said what I came to say, and now I’m shaking the metaphorical dust from my metaphorical sandals.

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  89. JDG: So you have no actual interest in what I said about myself, you’re more interested in upholding your stereotype of what you think I should be. Carry on then. Change the world.

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  90. Nothing like a post about domestic violence of a husband against a wife to bring out the misogynists.

    I am seeing them not only here, but on other blogs that are discussing this case, and on twitter.

    I’m also seeing lower-tier level misogynist behavior from conservative, self-professing Christian males on other blogs who are trying to minimize Neghmeh’s situation in particular and/or domestic violence in general.

    Jesus Christ never treated women or violence against women in such a hard-hearted or dismissive way.

    Liked by 3 people

  91. I believe that the title of this post is misleading. He did not deny any and all abuse. He said that much of what he has read is untrue.

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  92. I took the information I posted in a comment here earlier on the Idaho statutes, plus added copy-and-pastes of other information, and put it into a comment on The Wartburg Watch. That may make it easier to see it all at a glance.

    http://thewartburgwatch.com/2016/01/31/for-the-continuing-naghmeh-doubters-yes-saeed-really-did-plead-guilty/#comment-237676

    MODERATOR NOTE: Edited to change the link from the main post to the specific comment.

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  93. JDG said:

    [apparently quoting someone else up thread]
    Some of us are feminists because we read the Bible.

    Maybe you need to update your definition of feminist, and revisit your definition of Christian. One or both are in error.

    Not possible. You would have to twist the scriptures beyond recognition to believe what you wrote.

    The Bible tells us that one who follows Christ is a Christian. You can’t follow an ideology from hell and also follow Christ.

    You follow an ideology that is responsible for the murder of millions of pre-born babies, an untold number divorces, children born out of wedlock, sex anywhere and anytime, and the disintegration of the family.

    Feminism = Jezebel

    You are aware that some of us are not feminists but we also reject the gender complementarian (a.k.a. “male headship” or “biblical manhood”) views that some Christians believe in, correct?

    Even the many Christians I see who do abide by the “Christian feminist” label are conservatives in their beliefs and take the Bible seriously and literally.

    It would appear that you have made the male gender into a deity – an idol, which would mean…
    BELIEF IN MALE HIERARCHY / FEMALE ONLY SUBMISSION = JEZEBEL

    You mentioned “the family” in your post.
    If you are putting too much emphasis on the family – something even the Bible does not do (Luke 14:26) – you have made the nuclear family into an idol.

    I’m not sure why you feel it’s okay to defend “the family” out the yin yang, complain about divorce rates and so forth, but at the same time feel it’s wrong for people to fight against sexism – which some do under the term “feminism.”

    Sexism results in things like little girls undergoing FGM (female genital mutilation) in Muslim nations, or being sold into sex trafficking in the USA and overseas.

    I would hope you would be opposed to little girls and women being raped, sold into sex trafficking, girls being forced to marry men much older than they are, etc.

    I don’t know if this is of any import to you, but
    –I am right wing (politically, theologically, and socially conservative),
    – I am a registered Republican,
    – I am over 40 years old and still a virgin because I have never been married (I refused to have pre-marital sex with my ex fiance),
    – I am pro-life on the abortion topic,
    – I disagree with liberal Christians and liberal secularists on most topics most of the time…
    Yet I also reject gender complementarianism, which is nothing but warmed over sexism with a few Bible verses cherry picked and slapped on it to make it look “godly” or “conservative.”

    You’re really barking up the wrong tree if you assume everyone who posts or lurks at this blog is in lock-step across the board on every single topic.

    You said,

    The Bible tells us that one who follows Christ is a Christian. You can’t follow an ideology from hell and also follow Christ.
    You follow an ideology that is responsible for the murder of millions of pre-born babies, an untold number divorces, children born out of wedlock, sex anywhere and anytime, and the disintegration of the family.

    And gender complementarianism (which teaches that men should rule over women in church and marriage) creates an idol out of the male gender and can lead to domestic violence (it attracts men already prone to abuse women);
    to prolonged situations of domestic violence (women are pressured by their pastors to stay married to abusive creeps when they should get the support to divorce and move out);
    women feeling as though they are not as valued and loved by God – and on and on.

    In some Christian patriarchal / gender complementarian families, in more severe abuse cases, the Christian fathers feel entitled to rape their own biological daughters. That happens too.

    If you believe in gender complementarianism (or whatever label you may go by that believes that men are the “heads” in a marriage, with “head” being defined to mean “boss,” that women should be limited in what roles they can play in church or life, that submission in Christian relationships is meant for women only), you are following an ideology from hell and not Christ.

    Christ treated women (even prostitutes with respect). Are you following Christ’s example on that?

    Liked by 2 people

  94. My eyes have been opened. Never would I have imagined that such nasty, degrading comments toward women could be made by men professing to be Christians. Since the news about Naghmeh has been reported in the media, the railing against Naghmeh and by extension women, is quite troubling. It’s not as those these are lone voices. No – but a seeming convergence of angry people (majority of men) spewing vile things. I’ve been naive. I thought it was in the minority, but I honestly think the Evangelical church is becoming a haven for women haters.

    Liked by 4 people

  95. I know I have not posted here in a long time. But somehow I ended up here again as my husband is having flashbacks to his time in his abusive first marriage. As far as I am aware there was no physical or sexual abuse but the emotional abuse continues to this day. I know many ask how his ex-wife can continue the abuse when both parties live in different states and contact is restricted to text message and email and the answer is fairly easy. The abuser has many years of practice at knowing how to push buttons and communicate a lifetime of pain through just a few words. I firmly believe that Saeed was able to and in fact did continue to abuse Nagmeh while in prison and my heart breaks for her.

    My husband and his ex-wife have been divorced for eight years and not spoken on the phone in over 3 years but she continues to abuse him to this day. Even the periods of calm are simply times that we can focus on recovery and healing. I love my husband with all of my heart and I will continue to walk this road of healing with him for the rest of our lives. I pray that Nagmeh is able to find healing as well. She will need our prayers and support for many years to come.

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  96. @Gary W “…though I do maintain that the existence of a guilty plea to domestic assault, however old, discredits those who are making charges to the effect that Naghmeh must be lying, and such like. In fact, I cannot help but wonder why you are attempting the minimize the significance of such a guilty plea.”

    As for my own opinion I will make a distinction. I do not know whether Naghmeh is being truthful, I am not accusing her of lying and I have know way of knowing. What I can speak to is what factual information is in the public domain on Naghmeh. Her statements strain credibility for me in a few areas:

    1) She claims that Saeed had access sexual/porn online via phone at Evin prison.
    2) She claims Saeed watched Amazon Prime video from Evin prison.
    3) She claims that she was on the phone with Saeed for 6-8 hours each day
    4) She claims that she was praying for 20 hours each day
    5) She claims that Saeed abused her from Iran
    6) She claims she filed TRO’s to keep her children in Idaho
    7) She claims she filed for Legal Separation and not Divorce

    (I documented each of the above 7 claims separately made in the public domain – and I am not word shifting here; as an example she said “he was on the phone with me 6-8 hours a day and then watching movies on my Amazon account and then sleeping” )

    I’ll take them one at time; and again I don’t know whether she is telling the truth or not but it certainly seems worth exploring given the magnitude of the accusations she is making.

    1) How does a prisoner at Evin prison find porn on a phone? Was he accessing ATT or Verizon network or WIFI? How did the phone maintain a charge and how did he have the SSID for the WIFI or sufficient coverage on an ATT or Verizon cell network?
    2) He watched Amazon Prime from his prison cell? With headphones? (Enough said)
    3) We all know they didn’t speak for 6-8 hours per day over cellular. Nobody is ignorant enough to believe that exaggeration.
    4) If she was praying for 20 hours each day, how was she also speaking to Saeed for 6-8 hours, while also caring for two young children and appearing regularly on radio, tv and in media interviews?
    5) I guess this is the most plausible of the claims, let’s presume that he verbally abused her, threatened her and demeaned her. If this is to be believed in conjunction with #3 and #4 then we are led to believe that she was regularly having hours and hours of conversation with him while he was yelling at her, berating at her, cussing at her and threatening her.
    6) Where exactly would Saeed travel to since his parents, sister and his home are in Boise? He’s definitely not fleeing to Iran and has nowhere else to go. Those children aren’t leaving the country with a guy that has a flagged passport – him.
    7) This is pure sophistry – in Idaho ‘Legal Separation’ IS Divorce, except that the two individuals are not free to remarry; that’s it. Look it up.

    On me attempting to ‘minimize’ the guilty plea let me respectfully try again. Saeed was arrested after his wife called 9-1-1 in July. He was arrested and charged with some type of DV assault and from the case record was appointed a public defender. In late December of that same year as the case was progressing the District Attorney offered him a plea bargain, which is what they do in 85+% of DV cases. They don’t want to take these cases to trial and put them before a jury for a multitude of reasons; money, testimony, cross-examination, witnesses and primarily time and case preparation effort. Saeed accepted the plea because he got bum advice and/or was trying to reconcile with his wife.

    So I’ll put it back on you @Gary W. If the State of Idaho believes an offender has paid a sufficient price for their ‘criminal action’ why do you disagree? Saeed would not have been able to have the record sealed above objection of anyone involved in the case – did you read that part?

    As to my motive for ‘defending’ Saeed – I’m defending the rights of the accused and the inconsistencies so far are overwhelming and cry out for someone to at least be asking about the seven points I mentioned above. If you can read those, toss them aside and take the position that Naghmeh=Good / Saeed=Bad then I guess you’ve an immovable position based on presupposition.

    I hope that God intervenes and works a miracle in their marriage and this situation but unfortunately so much damage has been done I’m not very hopeful of this. Above all I pray for their children that they will be able to have a healthy relationship with both of their parents.

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  98. Before he tucked tail and ran (supposedly–these people don’t always keep their promises), JDG observed that I am “basically claiming that virtually [every] Christian who ever lived before the 1850s speaks “from the depths of the misogynistic, patriarchist/complementarian women-are-property cesspool”. Well, yes, that would be true, except that the term complementarian didn’t come along until more recently. Plus I would move the date up to about the 1950s or 1960s or 2010s. Oh, and for the most part, only men have been guilty. Men in ecclesiastical leadership have been in many ways the worst offenders.

    You all will get tired of my repeating it, but any system, practice or doctrine that would found relationships between believers on authority rather than on love is contrary to the teaching of Jesus. When authority takes the place of love you see strange things, like people who ascend from their misogynistic, patriarchist/complementarian women-are-property cesspool whenever they get the slightest indication that somebody might be advocating for abused spouses. I recall that Jesus recommended that we judge the tree by its fruit. The fruit of patriarchy/complementarianism is rank indeed.

    Liked by 5 people

  99. @Gary W – in regard to the Idaho statute question, there are a variety of Statutes that could apply that span the gamut from Felony Assault to Battery to Misdemeanor Assault; in this case it could be as simple as taking the phone from her if she was attempting to call 9-1-1 or blocking her from leaving a room or the house. (most likely) If there was a physical assault – such as a punch, kick or similar – with physical evidence then it would be charged as a Felony. If I accuse you of punching me and there is no physical evidence the best I can hope for is Misdemeanor Assault. (not saying she was or wasn’t or that he did or didn’t but if he dragged her down a flight of stairs or punched her in the face and gave her a black eye they would not have plea bargained)

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  100. @ Mandy said,

    I know many ask how his ex-wife can continue the abuse when both parties live in different states and contact is restricted to text message and email and the answer is fairly easy.
    The abuser has many years of practice at knowing how to push buttons and communicate a lifetime of pain through just a few words.
    I firmly believe that Saeed was able to and in fact did continue to abuse Nagmeh while in prison and my heart breaks for her.

    Mandy, not to beat a dead horse (I’m sorry if I’m boring the rest of you), but I’ve told my story here several times on older posts in other threads, and at the W-W blog.

    I have been verbally / emotionally abused by an older sister of mine since about childhood, and her abuse got worse in the last few years.

    Verbal and emotional abuse are abuse, too. Too many Christians only consider physical assault (black eyes, broken ribs, etc) to be “real” abuse. That is not so.

    I live apart from my sister but even so, she continues her verbal abuse at times in e-mail, on social media (I had to block her on Facebook for about a year over this), and on the phone.
    Her verbal abuse cut me down and caused psychological damage.

    Verbal abuse is a pattern of behavior, not just a one-time offense. It is usually done in private, because the abuser does not want any witnesses to see.

    I’ve been giving people a link to this online book about verbal abuse:
    _The Verbally Abusive Relationship_ by Patricia Evans (link is to the book on Google Books site)
    (the book by Evans is primarily about marriage, but I found it applicable to my sister and other verbal abusers I’ve known)

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  101. Jael, your entire comment was spot on. Naghmeh mentions what I call the Christian industrial complex in one of her posts. The chasing after numbers and such. The focus on success in churches. And her not putting God first. It was sort of a first glance into the problems with comp doctrine she has been surrounded by ….although I doubt if she sees it that way, so not putting words in her mouth. It can take a while to connect all the dots that have simply been the normal.

    She has much to lose in many ways. She tried to keep this burden to a prayer group. Lesson learned there, right?

    Many people do not understand the long term psychology of mental and/or physical abuse. It is like living in a black op. The victims often don’t make sense or do things that later look contradictory. The best explanation for this is what someone said on another blog about his abusive wife: I was trying to support her and protect myself.

    It doesn’t work.

    Liked by 2 people

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