Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.
Given that this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I thought I would post verses that are often used to keep a person in a domestic violence situation. My intent in this is to focus on how the Bible can be and is used as a means of control by an abuser.
My hope is that this will open discussion about the real issue of domestic violence within the church family. As we have this discussion, I ask that words be used carefully and your mind be open and understanding. Everyone who has lived through or is currently in a domestic violence situation has different experiences. Sunday Gatherings are meant to be a place of support, and I ask that we use this space in that way.
Please take care while reading. If reading through these verses is difficult for you and brings back painful memories, please make sure that you are taking care of yourself. Again, my hope and intent is to bring discussion about how the church responds to domestic violence. Please let me know if continuing this throughout the month is too difficult and I will stop this series. -Kathi
Matthew 5: 31-32
(Jesus speaking) “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”
Mark 10: 1-12
Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
“What did Moses command you?” he replied. They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Ephesians 5: 22-33
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Mark 12: 28-31
One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you: wherever he may send you;
may he guide you through the wilderness: protect you from the storm;
may he bring you home rejoicing: at the wonders he has shown you;
may he bring you home rejoicing: once again into our doors.
Feel free to join the discussion.
You can share your church struggles and concerns.
Let’s also use it as a time to encourage one another spiritually.
What have you found spiritually encouraging lately?
Do you have any special Bible verses to share, any YouTube songs that you have found uplifting?
photo credit: Brian – Upper Multnomah Falls – Oregon
15 thoughts on “SSB Gathering – October 25, 2015”
I have written a lot about domestic violence and why women stay. Here is one link about how Christian women are expected to be angels to their bad boys. http://watchtheshepherd.blogspot.com/2014/12/the-bad-boy-and-angel.html
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another one on recognizing pervasive, poisonous power in marriage. http://watchtheshepherd.blogspot.com/2015/03/recognizing-pervasive-poisonous-power.html
And its follow up article on what to do about toxic power in marriage.
In this post, there are links to several Christian sites about domestic violence: http://watchtheshepherd.blogspot.com/2014/10/lets-end-domestic-violence-not-just.html
Here is a thought provoking article on Malachi 2:16 and “God hates divorce.” http://myonlycomfort.com/2015/04/16/2015-god-hates-divorce/
The author goes in depth into Hebrew grammar to suggest a very sensible interpretation.
Books about the Bible and divorce that are often recommended by advocates for victims of domestic violence:
Divorce and Remarriage in the Church by David Instone-Brewer: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0830833749
And Marries Another: Divorce and Remarriage in the Teaching of the New Testament by Craig S. Keener:
Off topic. I am asking that some of you would take a minute to say a prayer of protection for my nephew David. I can’t say what the circumstances are. He wrote this on his Facebook earlier. “I need every prayer/ well wish/ good vibe I can get right now.” Thanks!
P.S. I know why, I got caught in a shameshitstorm last week, my anxiety was dialed up, it was awful. Prayers for peace would be appreciated. Might need to see a therapist for a 100,000.00 mile check up.
Gail – Thoughts and prayers for your nephew and you. Take care of yourself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Virginia – Thanks for all of the links. I look forward to reading them.
Thanks Kathi for today’s Sunday gathering and great music!
Thanks Virginia for your awesome blog and the links! This blog, The Wartburg Watch, and your blog were safe harbors for me to process a really bad church experience.
Praying Gail for your nephew!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A nice classical guitar piece to share:
And some Black Gospel from The Williams Brother’s in Mississippi and their album “Songs Mama Used to Sing”.
I have copied some of the marriage and divorce resources that Virginia recommended under the Off-Topic Discussion tab at the top of the page here, in case you need to locate them again in the future.
LikeLiked by 1 person
One more Williams Brothers (Mississippi) song. “God Will (See You Through)”.
About 1.4 hours of Spanish acoustic guitar if you need something different and relaxing to listen to this week!
Thanks for the kind words, everyone. This just reminded me that one of the elders in our church had suggested that I research and write about abuse as grounds for divorce since I had already written so thoroughly on domestic violence.
Today’s SSB post is also pertinent since someone else I know at church was trying to twist the sermon Scriptures to shame me into doing something that I’m under no obligation to do. I just wish folks could think rationally.