Who needs street evangelists when we have church fight?!

Coming sunday, SUNday, SUNDAY! Church fight!

“It’s already been decided who won, it’s just you wait to find out what happens.”

Did God predestine both to get kicked in the groin?

-Kathi B.

24 comments on “Who needs street evangelists when we have church fight?!

  1. So this is what it’s come to to get people to come to church. (Heavy sigh.)

    As for the outcome: does this guy think if an untrained, unprepared competitor walked into the ring, he would win because “God decided so”? (Giant eye roll.)

    I wish we could post photos. I have a couple comment memes that would work realy well here.

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  2. Next up, combats between starved lions and pastors! Ship battles when the auditorium is flooded! Gladiators armed with nets vs. those armed with swords!

    …..and will anyone see the irony of what is going on….? Nothing says “Gospel” like tatted up, overweight post-adolescents getting kicked in the huevos while acting out of the early scenes from Spartacus, albeit badly, while having no clue what scenes of early church history they are inadvertently re-enacting.

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  3. Unfortunately, if a supposedly Christian, church attending, husband were to assault his wife in the same we these two men are shown beating up on each other, there are two or three things that would happen:

    1. The wife would be told to remain with and submit to her husband. Marriage is permanent. No grounds for divorce here. Were she to file for divorce to protect herself and any children she would be excommunicated.

    2. If the assaultive husband were to be prosecuted, the “church” would do everything possible to “be there” for him. Every effort would be made to minimize the criminal consequences of the husband’s actions.

    3. The “church” would completely overlook the possibility that the wife and any children might be in need of material, emotional or spiritual ministry.

    If anybody doubts me, spend a little time poking around on http://cryingoutforjustice.com/.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Church Fight Tonight”…

    Sounds like it’d make a good filk of this Downtown Julie Brown song from the Eighties:

    ANY FILKERS OUT HERE IN THE SSB MASSMIND WHO COULD TWEAK THE LYRICS?

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  5. @Kathi:

    Call me crazy, but I have a hard time trying to find a good connection between Jesus and MMA.

    There already is a connection. His name is Mark “Bee Jay” Driscoll and he’s a Megacult leader in Seattle as well as a total MMA fanboy.

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  6. HUG – That video! LOL! How did I manage not to see that one on MTV?

    Yeah, Driscoll and his fight club isn’t doing so hot today is it?

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  7. You would have seen Ms. Brown mostly on “Al TV”, hosted by Weird Al. Otherwise she didn’t get much playtime. I can heartily recommend “Homecoming Queen’s got a Gun” and “‘Cause I’m a blonde” as well.

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  8. _‘Fight Church’ film released amid concerns that pastor featured in it abused power for sex_

    spite allegations that he abused his position in Victory Church to curry sexual favors from his parishioners, a feature-length documentary about controversial “Fight Church” pastor Paul Burress was released on Tuesday, according to Hemant Mehta.

    Earlier this year, former members of his Rochester, New York congregation accused Pastor Burress of abusing his power in the community to entice people into his swinger lifestyle.

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  9. Wow, I just googled this idiot pastor and apparently he is divorced from a previous spouse because of his repeated adultery, a long time swinger that suduced both sexes normally targeting twenty somethings. Has a young single guy from the church at his house and asked him to massage his wife. She takes off her blouse and bra and he starts massaging her with REV. Pervert watching. The good Rev Pervert then places this young mans hand on his wife’s breast and bare bottom. Oh JOY, a close net church family that is practicing some weird form of church incest. Just what I always wanted to do, feel up the pastor’s wife, NOT. This guy should be shot. You know somethings wrong when they are have a fight night and praying for a guy’s swollen testicals BUT it’s WORSE than even that when you check this church out.

    I’m not sure I can be shocked anymore, it’s just too much to have this kind of thing happening. Time to circle the wagons and start shooting when the pervs come a calling. All kidding aside, we must protect the kids and young people. This is intolerable.

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  10. For the record:

    Julie Brown and “Downtown” Julie Brown are actually two different people.

    I loved the “Just Say Julie” show.

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  11. Church fighting! I see nothing Godly about this. What next, Circus clowns and side shows. What happened to Jesus is all we need. When we need this kind of thing to draw in folks in need of salvation all I can say is Lord Jesus come quickly.

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  12. @BikeBubba:

    Next up, combats between starved lions and pastors! Ship battles when the auditorium is flooded! Gladiators armed with nets vs. those armed with swords!

    And live snuff-sex shows as novelty acts between the main events! Re-enactments of Zeus/Jupiter in trained-animal form raping mortal women! The Brazen Bull, LIVE!

    And the prostitutes working nonstop beneath the stands of the Ampitheater, servicing fans turned on by the show in the arena.

    (I am not making that up. Source was a book on the Roman Games many years ago. A bit tabloid in tone, but otherwise legit.)

    Earlier this year, former members of his Rochester, New York congregation accused Pastor Burress of abusing his power in the community to entice people into his swinger lifestyle.

    See above re Sex as well as Gladiators and “imaginative” executions in the Roman Ampitheater.

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  13. Back to the topic, it looks like the head of fight church missed both Paul’s admonition that an elder must be gentle, and that he must be a “one woman man”. I guess I should not be surprised that a person who obviously misses part of the package deal would miss other parts, too.

    Repulsed, but not shocked. Ugh.

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  14. Julie Anne,

    “did God predestine both to get kicked in the groin?”

    I’m I in the right place. I thought questions like that belonged in your “Calvinist free-for-all” thread.

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  15. Ugh, HUG. But closer to reality, at least if Daisy’s links are correct, than I would have guessed. Double, triple, quadruple, UGH. And if it’s true, one can only hope for more of these guys to get the roundhouse to the groin. It would seem to reduce some of the other problems.

    Like

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