Blogger/Mother Who Posted Public Article about Her Daughter’s “Disobedience” Has Changed Her Mind and Removed Post

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There’s a positive update to share on an earlier article I covered. Last month, I posted an article, Christian Parental Response to Teenagers or Adult Children in Rebellion, a sad story about a popular homeschool blogger and mother who claimed her daughter left home in disobedience.

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Here is one sentence from the blogger/mother from her original article:

E chose to leave home rather than obey, and more and more indiscretions, as well as outright acts of deception surface daily. Honestly, it’s as though our daughter has lived a dual life for a couple of years now; one for us, and one for herself.

In my article, it wasn’t about the daughter, but the mother’s response to the daughter that concerned me.  The 17-yr old daughter’s personal family struggles were disclosed publicly. The blogger received mostly positive responses to her article, but there were a few negative ones strongly encouraging her to remove her post. The blogger defended her actions in the comments.

A couple of weeks later, I received an e-mail from the blogger/mother asking me to remove my article as she had removed hers. Because I was right in the midst of getting our home ready for week-long visitors and didn’t have time to really think it through, I told her I would “hide” the post and would come back to it later with a decision. Keep in mind, instead of using the daughter’s full name on my article, I elected to use only her first initial, “E” both in this post, the original post, and also ensured that all of the comments did not reveal the minor daughter’s identity.

Now here comes the very sticky part for me as a blogger. The purpose of my blog post was certainly not to go after either mother/blogger, or to shame them, but to discuss a particular way of parenting I have seen in certain circles, especially fundamentalist Christian circles. It is very important to discuss these issues, to challenge one another, to search scripture for answers because frankly, parenting is tough, and we’ve seen a lot of tragic results coming from the personal  stories of Second Generation Adults.

While thinking very seriously about removing the article permanently, I realized that it is not considerate to you, my readers, who used your voices to share your comments and concerns. One of the biggest themes at SSB is that you get to have a voice. Removing the blog article and corresponding comments would mean that all the time and thought you took to interact with each other, construct and articulate your comments, would be wasted. That did not sit right with me, especially with my strong feelings about people have the right to freedom of expression.

So, I think I’ve hit a middle ground that will hopefully serve the goals we have here, try to respect privacy of the family involved, and ensure no loss to the great comments that were on the original article. Here’s what I have done: I have removed all links to the blogger’s original article. Additionally, I removed all names except for initials.

Here is the title to the article written by the mother/blogger to explain why she took down her article entitled, “Have a seat. It’ll only take a sec.”

I am very grateful for those who commented on the original article and shared your concerns. In the e-mail I received from the blogger/mother, she told me that both she and her daughter read my article and the comments. I’m thankful for that. I’m grateful that this mother and daughter are communicating. That is great news all around.  I hope and pray for continued open communication, love, and grace as this precious family gets over this hurdle.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5,6

 

 

photo credit: jenny downing via photopin cc

15 comments on “Blogger/Mother Who Posted Public Article about Her Daughter’s “Disobedience” Has Changed Her Mind and Removed Post

  1. So glad she removed the original article. It really upsets me when public people use their children (who have no choice in the matter) in this manner. I’m glad they are communicating. Parents need to treat their children respectfully. I see such a lack of this in the Christian community.

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  2. Bridget – I deliberately did not include the link to the new article, but it is searchable. I’m trying to be respectful as much as I can on both sides. I thought it was important to give followup to this situation that kind of left us with a question mark.

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  3. Good for her! Let’s hope it was removed to give her a chance to rebuild her relationship with her daughter.

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  4. Kudos to you, Julie Anne! Thanks for the update! I like to think that the insightful comments left by your ‘people’ had an impact on Heather (the Mum)’s change of heart.

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  5. Bravo, Julie Anne. Thank you for the work you did by going through all of the comments to keep the content, yet remove the direct info. You’re a pioneer!

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  6. This just makes my day. Reading that blog really broke my heart for this family. It was like the mother was attempting to publicly shame or manipulate her daughter. Some of these folks really think they own their kids and will exercise full control forever. The idiot “pastor” that recently spanked his adult son is an perfect example of some of the extreme, wacky ideas these mental midgets come up with. One of the defendants in the Soverign Grace litigation was whipping his twenty something daughter with a belt after forcing her to strip down nude. This stuff is just off the charts and abusive. Damage can be done that is never fully repaired. I’m pretty conservative but some of what I see happening in these home school families terrifies me. To say nothing of the lousy testimony to the world. Love the way you handled this one, Julie Anne. Great job lady !

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  7. Scott.

    I could easily have been this mother/blogger. When we were in the cult church, our pastor encouraged (from the pulpit) spanking of any and all children, including adult children. He promoted shunning of wayward children. I wrote a personal story about spanking of adult children, too, because the SGM story you mentioned sent me crashing down emotionally as I realized what was going on in our own home years ago under that kind of teaching. The message taught by our pastor was that if you did not get control over your children, you were essentially sending them to hell by not spanking them.

    I don’t know if this mother/blogger is getting influenced by people like my former pastor or Mike Pearl, etc, but this practice is definitely going on more than just my home and other homes.

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  8. Yeah! Praying for truth and respect and personhood and healing and love! 1Corinthians 13 love, that is.
    Thank you Julie Anne for shining a light on these issues.

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  9. Pingback: Christian Parental Response to Teenagers or Adult Children in Rebellion | Spiritual Sounding Board

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