What Happened When You Shared Your Abuse Story with Someone for the First Time?


What Happened When You Shared Your Abuse Story with Someone for the First Time? Did They Believe you?


This is the fourth time I’ve started this post. I can tell when something is triggering me when I lose my writing mojo. Last week, the media reported additional women speaking out about being sexually violated/raped by Bill Cosby, a man who has been so highly esteemed in show business as a comedian and actor, and a respected father figure in his very popular and successful television show, The Cosby Show. The news stories were shocking, did Bill Cosby really do that?

But these women, some after decades, have finally spoken out. Their stories are remarkably similar in details and their reason for silence makes sense. Who would believe their story? Everybody loved Cosby. It wasn’t worth the risk to disclose.

I’ve gotten into some debates with people about this – some have been with my friends  – about these women who finally came out and told their stories. As I debated with these people, I realized it has been hitting me emotionally.

It brings me back to the time I first shared my story of abuse, first as a child who experienced physical abuse growing up, and then later, as an adult experiencing spiritual abuse and being sued by my former pastor. As I read the accounts from the alleged Cosby victims, I was emotionally connecting with these women whom I’ve never met, who were brave and speaking out. It got me thinking back to when I shared my story of abuse with someone. Just thinking about the responses I received brought me back to that very lonely and dark place. I never felt so alone.




This “coming out” process is always so difficult and this picture represents what it was like to me – like an uphill battle with ominous clouds.

We don’t know what is on the other side. What will we face if we share? Will we be better off having shared our story, or should we have remained quiet?

It doesn’t matter whether the abuse was sexual, spiritual, physical, emotional, the patterns are very similar. There are many obstacles to overcome before we get to the point of sharing. It’s our word against someone else’s word and reputation. Will they believe me? Will they think I’m nuts?

Many of us have experienced different kinds of abuse and eventually got away from the abuse and maybe eventually shared our story.

I thought it might be helpful to hear some of these kinds of stories. What was your experience when you decided to share that you were abused? Did people believe you? Did they help you? I’d like to hear your story.


As always, you are free to use any pseudonym when sharing here.

photo credit: xlordashx via photopin cccac

172 comments on “What Happened When You Shared Your Abuse Story with Someone for the First Time?

  1. Well, Well, Well, Doing “Communion” together…
    And wells are a deep subject. 🙂

    So is “Communion”

    And since leaving “The Religious System” in the early 90’s
    I have an additional understanding of “Communion”
    Then what I was taught in “the System.”.

    If anyone is interested I’d be glad to go over it.

    And what makes you think WE, His Sheep, His Ekklesia, you and me…

    Have not been doing “Communion” together today here at SSB?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Folks,

    Communion: I’m in California (Pacific Time). But I do get up early. So whatever time you want to set to take Communion is fine with me.

    Books: Glad to share them with you Brenda. I have found them so helpful.



  3. Brenda – Anyone

    First… A couple of questions…
    That I suggest you edjumacated ones might research on your own. 😉
    “Well, you can ask Jesus to help…

    John 6:45
    It is written in the prophets, And they shall be ALL taught of God.

    Deuteronomy 4:36
    Out of heaven he made thee to *hear His voice,*
    that *He might instruct thee:*

    The word communion; What does it mean in the Bible?
    Not from a religious standpoint, or a religious tradition,
    or a religious sacrement, or a religious ritual…

    But – What does your Bible have to say about “communion?”


  4. Amos,

    My limited education (No School, mind you) of studying the Bible, communion is like a marriage. The two are one. Well, in John 17, I believe it is, we are “ONE” in Christ.

    One, in this case is: a numeral. And that…one defined as a numeral 1, is defined as “A Single Unit”.

    I’m getting deep here, so bear with me.

    In our body is TWO spirits.
    1. Our own
    2. God

    Romans 8:16
    The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:

    Hence communion.

    We are a spirit dressed in a body. That is life. Life requires a body. No body, no life. When our spirit departs us, we are dead.

    James 2:26
    For as the body without the spirit is dead…

    We exist without a body…but that’s not my point. My point is, without a spirit in our body we are dead.

    So, our spirit is in our body. We are alive, until that body dies.

    But…But…we have God also inside our bodies. We are ONE. A single unit. The two are ONE. The two are a single unit. Communion.

    Now…let me further explain.

    Without God in our body, we are “spiritually dead”. Let me say that again. Without God in our body, we are spiritually dead, yet carnally alive. One spirit, one body.

    With God in our body, we are spiritually alive. Communion. Two spirits, one body.

    We were NOT carnally born spiritually dead, as many preach. We were carnally born spiritually alive. Then NEXT we died a spiritual death. Hence, I do not believe in “original sin”. Read all of Romans 7. Paul explains all this. ****Also, see Deu 1:39. After reading that, ask yourself, “When did Adam and Eve spiritually die? The answer to that was once they got knowledge of good and evil.

    In the next paragraph, think prodigal son parable.

    Anyway, we all have a spiritual death date. Born Again is a spiritual rebirth date, a sort of spiritual “resurrection” from the dead, where God’s spirit rejoins our spirit, hence communion.

    This is also helpful when understanding the resurrection from the dead, too. We all will have a death date. But we will rise again.

    When God’s spirit is in our bodies, that means that we have, right now, eternal life, even if our bodies die. Once God is in our body, we will NEVER die.

    John 11:26
    And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

    My whole point in all this:

    Each individual Christian is ONE with Christ, communion. Christian plus Christ equals a single unit. The two are one.

    We seem to always be taught about a man and a woman..the two bodies are one, right? Well, in our relationship with God, it’s just the opposite. The two spirits are one.


    Did I go over anybodies head on this one?

    The word “ONE” has two different definitions. The Greek word in John 17 for “one” is the numeral 1, which is simply “a single unit”. There is another word “one” that means something else.

    A great example of that is in the following verse:

    John 10:16
    And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

    In that verse, there is ONE fold and ONE shepherd.

    Both of those words, “ONE” is two different definitions. There are many in a fold, but only one shepherd.



  5. Hi Folks,

    For those who would like to do communion together next Sunday, December 14th, would 10 a.m. EST work for you? I am in California so it would be 7am my time and would work for me.

    Luke 22:19
    “And when He had taken some bread and given thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”




  6. Hi Julie Anne,

    Ok. I will post an announcement for next week’s communion on tomorrow’s Sunday gathering so that folks who’d like to participate can get prepared.

    By the way, thanks for all you do with this blog. You saved my sanity! Such a lifeline to have this.


  7. MIchaela,
    I have a church home and go to early service. If you make it 10:30, I would be home. But do what the majority wants.


  8. Hi Brenda,
    Yes, I’m up. (I usually get up at about 4:30 a.m. because I used to waking up early for my job, which starts early.)


  9. Gen 18:17-33 Verse 33a And the Lord went his way, as soon as he had left communing with Abraham. They were talking Discussing the fate of Sodom.

    Ex 33: 9-11 doesn’t specifically state communing, but it does speak of the interaction that the Lord had face to face with Moses as a man speaks to his friend.

    Communion is a close fellowship with God. When we practice the Lord’s Supper, Communion, the Lord’s Table, whatever you choose to call the sacrament we are to search our hearts, ask forgiveness for any sin that we may have in us and be restored to complete fellowship with Him while remembering the price Jesus paid for us.


  10. Hi all

    So Sorry…
    I will NOT be able to join you folks Sunday…
    To partake, and enjoy, The Lords Supper together…

    Have to watch some roofers fix a leaky roof… Oy Vey!!!

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you.


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