SSB Sunday Gathering

SSB Sunday Gathering – November 23, 2014


Spiritual Sounding Board – This is your place to gather and share in an open format.




I remember my affliction and my wandering,

the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,

and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:19-26



Feel free to join the discussion.
You can share your church struggles and concerns.
Let’s also use it as a time to encourage one another spiritually.
What have you found spiritually encouraging lately?
Do you have any special Bible verses to share, any YouTube songs that you have found uplifting?


photo credit: Colleen

52 thoughts on “SSB Sunday Gathering – November 23, 2014”

  1. I’ve decided to go to church this Sunday. I’ve been looking through a bunch of spiritual abuse and related blogs over the last couple of weeks. It has left me drained. Some of them are over the top negative. I don’t understand how name calling is helpful. Honestly, I feel like some of the sites I’ve visited are more abusive than the abusers they are calling out. Many of the comments are just hateful, both for and against. And I’m confused over how if I’m against domestic abuse I somehow must embrace homosexuality. Not just have compassion for the abuse of homosexuals, but thoroughly embrace their lifestyle. And if I oppose illegal immigration I’m a hateful, un-Christlike, mean-spirited lowlife. And if I vote Republican I’m an abusive, ignorant jerk. The list goes on and on. Some of the posts are so emotionally manipulative, I have the same feeling as if I’m reading an over the top conservative Christian blog telling me that I need to submit to my abusive husband. The fact is, I don’t feel any more inclined to submit to a complete stranger with a incendiary blog than I do my soon-to-be-ex-husband. It just gets me all riled up. Lol. I feel like I have to take a step back and detox from all the negativity. I really like A Cry for Justice. If anyone knows of other sites that are similar, without the authors insisting that I have sold my soul to Satan if I disagree with them, let me know. Of course, I’m just kidding about the selling of my soul. It’s not actually for sale. I pulled it off the market the day I left my husband… 😉


  2. minervasue I wish you the very best. I do not post here that much but I am going to go dark for the week of thanksgiving and I am asking for prayer so as to find the path God wishes me to follow. Thanks. Happy thanksgiving. brian


  3. minervasue, I am glad that you are going to church this Sunday. I will be there as well. The things that you mentioned are indeed troubling. ACFJ is good. I also like Leslie Vernick’s views on domestic abuse. She is a loving, caring individual with sound Godly advice. I stopped submitting to an abusive husband, as well. I know where you are coming from and it feels good to be out of the fog and headed into the light.

    Brian, A good fasting of the internet sounds good and sounds more like light to me than going dark. Abiding in Jesus and no where else makes for a truly Happy Thanksgiving. Above all things, He is who we should be thankful for. Amen.

    JA, Another beautiful picture. I could sit right there and stay a while, free from all of the outside noise.


  4. Just shaken from sleep from yet another nightmare too close to reality. Broken, physically, emotionally and spiritually by so much loss, heart attack, cancer and worst of all, the loss of my wife and children at the end of it all.

    The pain of being abandoned in my weakest time stings even more by three “pastors” I trusted while God kept me alive through what should have killed me several times. I understand that marriages fail, people fail, but trust did not come easy, long story, but I did trust again only to be crushed. Then to find out that these “men of God” that I bared my heart and soul to after serving others for 32 years in a violent traumatic career path and loving my family so much stabbed me in the back. Without my knowledge, without even the common courtesy of talking with me, judged me and interfered in our marriage by daily often late night “counseling” for hours at a time with my wife, hundreds of phone calls, thousands of texts even while having open heart surgery and 53 hospital admissions, abandoned while in ICU and then for good later waking up to a Dear John letter ( nothing dear about it) right before Christmas two years ago.

    My heart broken, no longer a man. I’ve recently asked to speak to the main pastor as the Bible says, to go to the “brother” that wronged you. No reply. They Helped my famiky leave me and move out while I laid in bed too weak to stand up for myself. Posted it on FB as if a celebration, on and on.

    Two years later, still don’t know what I did to be put away by my family and church family so harshly. Not one had the whatever to even ask me anything much less be neutral and apply God’s instructions on Godly counsel. I wonder what their wives would think about these odd lengthy phone calls? I wonder how they would feel if their spouse was talking to another man that much, not having the time to talk to them and even giving them a chance to talk.

    I know what it did to our children seeing the “church” and leaders help move out, give referrals to divorce lawyers etc. alienated no matter what i do. I was not perfect. I could have been a better husband and father, but thought I was doing what was best and only had love in my heart.

    My heart bleeds from the betrayals and broken trust. My mind is full of possibilities about these lenghty rendezvous. Torture. If they only took time to know my heart. Now fighting cancer weakened even more.

    Despite all this and more I am amazed at God’s love for me, his mercy and understanding. He is my Father and I am His child. While tears of hurt fog my vision, I am thankful for the suffering as it has brought me so much closer to Him. I am thankful for the kind, wise and courageous people here. Reading about your pain has helped with my loneliness and sleepless nights. Chemo is ravishing my body, mind and soul, yet I refuse to turn my back on my Loving Father. Jesus did it all for me, I did not deserve such sacrificial love.

    Thank you to all of you here for helping me cope, especially Julie Anne and Raymond. I love you all. Praise You Jesus for loving me, me so much and unconditionally. Sorry so long winded. Been holding it in too long.

    Can’t bring myself to try another “mans” church. I admit I cannot handle it alone. Words just don’t seem to say it right at all. I wish it was just a nightmare. If this is too long or I am using this format wrong please forgive me and don’t post it. I am so hurt and confused I don’t mean to misuse this place. Thank you Jesus for dying for me and loving me so much. I know you are with me Lord through it all. Forgive me for forgetting sometimes.


  5. After reading some other comments I will say I too have been looking for a long time for a real spiritual abuse site. Feel I found it here. I understand what others are saying where people rush to judgement. I have experienced great pain by being told things like well, you must have done something for her to leave. Only God knows the truth and I am ok with that.

    Many sites have the opinion that a man can’t be abused, or that emotional and verbal abuse is only for a thin skinned man. Words from a trusted loved and adored wife can hurt worse than any surgery, bullets, knives beatings etc. I know firsthand. I know I am a gentle loving man. Just because I was a cop my whole adult life does not make me immune. Throw in some pastoral abuse and interference in marriage at best, and the worst is haunting and that adds to the pain, especially when they were trusted. I thought they cared about me. When we met these new church people I was fresh out of the hospital and coma wearing a external defibulator vest waiting for a heart transplant. No warning, no health problems known, no risk factors other than stress and cowering at home just to keep the peace. Lost career , home, finances, perceived security. Dedicated my life to helping victims of horrible crimes including domestic violence. I don’t feel that judgement here, so far.

    The biggest mistake I made was not keeping God first. At least I have an intimate relationship with Him now that no man can take away. Yet the pain of being abandoned and betrayed still hurts deeply. I have not named names as my intent is not to retaliate. I will let God handle that, although I will admit as a man it has been a struggle.


  6. Minervasue, I have to say that I agree with much of what you said. I have pentacostal roots. I believe in the gifts of the spirit, but I often don’t talk about it on abuse recovery sites because some who come out from those churches think the entire pentacostal movement is false and abusive. Those who run some sites do become pot meet kettle because they believe how they worship is the right way. Just hymns because they believe modern music can put you in a trance and is cultic. Or they don’t like the words some churches use because it sounds new agey or “God doesn’t do that!” It is sad when you are reaching out for help and support, but they make you feel bad just because you might differ on your beliefs.

    And your right, it makes them no better than the ones they are calling out. I think many people after coming out of abuse, whether it be in church or a marriage, can become cynical and negative. I did, and I still do sometimes. I have to be very careful with what I read. I don’t ever want to get to the point where I think ‘everyone else does church wrong, except me.’ Because that is an abusive mindset.


  7. John, I’m glad to see you share your story here among friends who understand spiritual abuse and who will pray for you and encourage you.

    Not many people experience the depth of loss you have experienced. Some spiritual abuse affects whole families, but it doesn’t usually cost the price tag of losing wife and children, and add on top of that the health challenges you were and are facing.

    I’m glad Raymond has been helpful to you. He understands loss of a wife due to spiritual abuse. Keep talking, John. You’ve held this in for a while and you don’t need to carry it alone.

    Praying for you, that you will find some comfort and peace through your pain.


  8. As I got a few hours of sleep since I wrote my first ever comments about these events in my life I realize that they were raw. I probably would not have stepped out and written if it hadn’t been after waking up from a disturbing nightmare after little sleep. I’m glad I did in a way but feeling very vulnerable now.

    I long to worship God with a group of people, but I fear walking in to an unknown church. I long to be a part of people worshiping. I know there is never a perfect church, and I know it sounds silly that I am afraid. I long to be understood.

    When my wife and I were married 25 years ago next week, the pastor of the church who did the ceremony was also a police chaplain who helped me with countless death notifications during 18 years of investigating rape, child abuse and death/murder cases. It was the first church I went to after turning 18 and leaving my mothers very harsh church that advocated beatings with objects until drawing blood for discipline. I remember my favorite music albums being smashed on the alter with other kids because they were “the devils rock music.” I learned a lot from him about a different God than I was brought up with. A loving God? It was so strange to hear. I remember distinctly a sermon he gave in which he spoke about why churches were struggling with attendance but bars were not. Simply put, he said people could walk in a bar and were accepted as they were and not scrutinized and judged. He challenged the congregation to be that way at their church. Lasting impression made.

    I do not want to carry these hurts with these actions of some pastors with what I have been told was at best abusive questionable actions and possibly much worse. Emotional attraction is the least worst case possibility. What male pastor talks to another’s wife for hours every day, late into the night? Am I wrong? I have prayed and prayed about it. My wife won’t talk about it saying it’s the past. I was given advice by a visiting preacher in Divorce Recovery to speak to the lead pastor. He is ignoring my requests.

    I have a lawyer who will take the case on contingency but I don’t feel right suing a church. Should I just live with it? At the same time I am thankful for this site and people who have cared about me and what happened. I read through the scripture above again and once again Julie Anne you selected a good one, and a beautiful picture and song. I’m torn.

    Thank you for a safe place to share difficult things and feel part of a group of people, though hurting, still have faith in God and understand the value if community in worship. I’ll stop babbling now. I hope everyone has a blessed day and for those who still have families a wonderful Thanksgiving.


  9. Thank you Julie Anne! Such a blessing to hear(see) your kind and compassionate comments. Healing tears as I read it. Yes, Raymond too has been a blessing. Thank you for stepping out when you did in faith and courage to provide this place and I’m so glad God led me here. Thank you again.


  10. Good Morning God’s church,
    Before I read any of the comments posted here, there is a need in my heart to reflect upon the purity of the Scriptures you posted here, Julie Anne.

    “The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him,
    to the one who seeks Him,
    it is good to wait quietly
    for the salvation of the LORD.”
    Lamentations 3:25-26

    I stand in awe of God’s Holy Words to us here and there is such gratefulness in my heart for the genteel reminder of His faithfulness to us. Good morning ekklesia, for the words “The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him” is so refreshing that it brings me to tears of joyful brokenness for who can say such things but our Great God Almighty! Praise our LORD that He would love us and be so good to us in spite of our surrounding and impending circumstances for this is a wonderful reminder for me/us, to be more grateful and thankful. I fall short at times, well, most of the time for it is so easy to desire to stand my ground in everything religious and this witnesses to no one. The precious words “it is good to wait quietly” will be a constant reminder printed on my soul today and hopefully they can be memorized for further reflection.

    Thank-you for posting these precious Scriptures, Julie Anne, and also to Colleen, for the beautiful picture of God’s glorious creation. This is truly humbling as we Praise our God in His Mighty Expanse and in His Sanctuary, which is His amazing creation.
    Glory to the Incarnate King.


  11. Yes, big thanks to Colleen who bailed me out on the gorgeous photo. Please feel free to send me nature pics. Ive posted pics from Alaska, Hawaii, Oregon, California, Washington, Michigan, Colorado, Louisiana. Send more!! God’s creation is gorgeous.


  12. John

    Thank you for your story. Sounds familiar. === Tears ===

    “the loss of my wife and children at the end of it all.”
    “The pain of being abandoned in my weakest time”
    “My heart broken, no longer a man.”
    “My heart bleeds from the betrayals and broken trust”

    I understand. Sounds familiar.
    I understand how dark it can be for you.
    I understand the tears, the many many tears, and the many questions.
    I understand the rejection, abandoned by family, betrayals and broken trust.

    My wife had an affair – My father blamed me.
    My wife filed for divorce – My sister testified against me in court.
    My father had terminal cancer – No one in the family told me.
    Visited my father in the hospital – My mother left when I went for coffee.
    My mother died – Wrote “in the will”…
    “To my son Amos, I leave “absolutely nothing.”

    I shook my fist at God. More than once.
    Where are you Jesus? What good is serving you???

    John – Thank you for telling your story. Sounds familiar. ===Joy===

    “Despite all this and more I am amazed at God’s love for me, his mercy and understanding. He is my Father and I am His child. While tears of hurt fog my vision, I am thankful for the suffering as it has brought me so much closer to Him.”

    I understand. Sounds familiar.
    I understand, in the midst of the trial, in the midst of the darkness…
    “I am amazed at God’s love for me, his mercy and understanding.”

    Once, when complaining to Jesus, about ALL the separations, All the Pain…
    “I can’t take it anymore. Family separations. Church separations. Help…
    How long O Lord… How long…”

    I heard Him say, “MY son,” (I love when He calls me son…)

    “MY son,
    I’m NOT separating you from people…
    I’m separating you unto myself…”

    Thank You Jesus…

    Psalm 30:5
    Weeping may endure for a night,
    but joy comes in the morning.

    (Or is that – “Joy comes in the mourning?”)


  13. John,

    I love how Amos responded to you. After I read your posts, I was at a loss for words, so many feelings were stirred inside of me… I have had many dark nights of the soul. It is a tough region to navigate.

    I ache with you, and I will be praying for you today. I pray you feel accepted in the beloved. Please know that it is a privilege that you allowed us to hear your sorrow & heartache. I am sure most here can relate & will be praying for you.


  14. I just read this and thought it was a beautifully written piece.

    “But there in The Great Sadness, with my heart stripped bare, I discovered God was still undeniably by my side. In the vast darkness, when He wasn’t visible at all, and in the boundless sorrow, when I couldn’t feel Him at all, and in the deafening quiet, when He wasn’t speaking at all, I curiously never felt abandoned (at least not by Him anyway). Even when He felt far, He was still right there in the struggle and sadness and silence with me. Just Him, without all the other religious frills.”


  15. I spent the last week helping provide 24/7 care for my dying grandmother. She was a life-long Catholic and I suggested that we have a priest come in to bless her. A priest showed up within 15 minutes of our phone call. I can’t tell you that I have ever had that experience with a church. He went through his rites and blessed her and it was beautiful. This was one of the best church experiences that I’ve had in the last few years.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Amazingly, wonderful fellowship here today! I’m privileged to “know” all of you. John, this is a safe place. There is healing. There is recovery and there is life again. As you stand in the ruins of your life, sorting through the ash heap of what remains, looking for one small treasure, know that you are not alone. This song, as performed by Amy Grant meant so much to me during my own dark nights. I wish I could find a video of her performing it but couldn’t.

    “After The Fire”

    After the fire is over
    After the ashes cool
    After the smoke is blown away
    I will be here for you

    After the stillness finds you
    After the winds of change
    All that is good and true between us
    This will remain the same

    Slowly, slowly
    We turn the pages of life
    Growing, knowing
    It comes at quite a price

    After the fire is over
    After the ashes cool
    After the smoke is blown away
    I will be here for you

    After your time of wondering
    Along this lonely road
    There will be many voices calling
    Mine will say welcome home

    Slowly, slowly
    We turn the pages of life
    Growing, knowing
    It comes at quite a price

    After the fire is over
    After the ash is cool
    After the smoke is blown away
    I will be here for you
    I will be here for you


  17. John,
    I agree with Gail. I am glad you told your story. It is unusual for pastors to help a woman leave her husband especially with all of the health issues you have had. Generally speaking, women are instructed to stay with men who are violent towards them and certainly not to leave a man who is ailing in such a manner. I can feel the pain you have in your words. We are none of us immune to betrayal and hardship in this broken world. I will pray for you

    You are always the uplifting one. You have been there for me and many others so often. I did not realize the extent of the pain you have endured until today when once again you were there to empathize and show Jesus’ love with another. I love this: “MY son, I’m NOT separating you from people…I’m separating you unto myself…” as I have felt this myself, except I am called daughter.

    “Joy comes in the mourning?” I believe this slight change in scripture is completely relevant. When we mourn and cry out for Jesus, joy comes even though it is not always in our timing, it is in His. As Katy pointed out: “The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him, it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.” Lamentations 3:25-26

    I can’t think of anything greater than seeking Jesus. Many good words this Sunday morning.


  18. “MY son,
    I’m NOT separating you from people…
    I’m separating you unto myself…”

    Thank You Jesus…

    Psalm 30:5
    Weeping may endure for a night,
    but joy comes in the morning.

    Amos, this speaks to my condition. I think you speak prophetically to me. I can’t say exactly why because it involves an information vacuum that I cannot fill because it is God’s creation and into which He only speaks the words: Trust Me. But it does involve an excruciating separation. However, that separation was for me to be separated unto Himself. That I do know for a fact. I also know that He is worth the pain of it.

    I’ve seen this verse in other places and thought of it myself these past few weeks. And now I see it again here. So thank you for being His voice of encouragement to me today. 🙂

    I always love your comments. 🙂


  19. John, wow. Just wow. You have been through it. I’m so sorry. I’m glad God has been your comfort.


  20. I’ve been really touched by your words, Amos. You always lead me to Jesus and even though you have walked through stormy past, you never fail to encourage those who are in the mist of a crisis. Your heart and words have really blessed me today. Thank you.


  21. Just wow. Thanks for these verses JA and all the sharing from everyone else. I will hold these verses close to my heart this week. I have been suffering from such deep depression and am slowly coming out with the help of new medication. I am still waiting for this morning of joy. I am hopeful. Ann


  22. Minervasue,

    What you have described in your comment is the concept that some tend to fall into correcting a wrong. I see it all the time. If they were in a conservative evangelical group and experienced abuse there, then all conservatism is wrong. They go opposite. Now all conservative Evangelical republicans hate homosexuals. Obama-good, George Bush-evil.

    These are people who will turn over their freedoms and choices to the liberal philosopher kings. They will accept the same micromanaging from government in treating them idiot children that they claim they now despise in conservative evangelical churches that did the same thing. Just different issues. At least they had the freedom to leave their church. Will they retain freedom over health care choices?

    It never ceases to amaze me. Neither side seems to be able to discuss issues in depth civilly without invoking broad brush ad hominem. Funny, but I want both camps to have no influence over my personal beliefs and choices. And if some jerk wants to lose business over a gay wedding cake, he should have the freedom to be a jerk. If folks really want to get serious with this stuff go visit food stores in poverty area and check prices. Poor people are gouged because of food stamp program.

    Be outspoken about high gas prices that really hurt the working poor and so on. But they don’t. Not very popular liberal causes.


  23. I am so touched and moved by the love, compassion and understanding shown to me today here. Tears. Thank you to all who commented. I must say that I feel blessed to have been here today and since I havent been to church since December of 2012 when they left, I feel like I belonged to this great group of people here. Such an awesome experience! Genuine! If I miss anyone please forgive me, at this time of the day the chemo gets the best if me.

    A. Amos Love, thank you so much for your insight, empathy and guidance. Amazing. I pray for you knowing the pain you speak of well.

    Gail aka scared, thank you so much. I felt very accepted here! I pray for you on those dark nights, they seem never ending, but they do.

    Brenda, thank you so much. Thank you for the Amy Grant song! Awesome.

    Brenda R. , thank you for your kind message. I agree with you, often it is the women who are abused by bad advice or guilt trips. Sadly, it is on the rise with men. This was a very liberal “social justice” church. The pastors, in my opinion are not mature. Impressing women is part of their game. What man of God spends hours weekly talking in secret to another mans wife, for over a year? I have also seen what you speak about, investigated two murders, one a woman, another a 4 year old child where church leaders covered abuse and held the abusive man as the leader of the home no matter what. Sick. I saw the aftermath.

    Barnabasintraining, thank you for your understanding and empathy.

    Ann, I know depression well too. Often the advice is to shake it off. It’s no different than diabetes or any other disease. It’s real. I hope the new medicine helps.

    Julie Anne , THANK YOU!

    I thank you God for my new found friends. Even though night is worse, I still miss my family so much, unbearable at times, I have hope in Jesus.


  24. Barnabasintraining, I was reading one of your comments again and saw words I missed before, excruciating separation” and I thought yes, how much so familiar. I am sorry for your pain the same as you expressed to me. Yes, I find comfort in His arms. Yet, still, 7 December will be 2 years since I watched her leave with our children. Yes they are adults. Our son was horribly injured in a car wreck a month after my first of 53 hospitalizations for my heart and now cancer. I had to be sedated before they allowed me in ICU to see him. I was wearing the defib vest before an implanted one. He was in a coma, face unrecognizable except for his mother and I. He coded 3 times on the way to the trauma center. Brain and facial reconstruction surgery. Permanent brain damage. I was holding his hand saying his name, and crying out to Jesus. Then in a moment chosen by God he turned his head to look in my direction. Started breathing on his own. I got my wife, his mother and she held his other hand. We took turns saying his name and he turned each time, still unconscious. My precious son. My only son. That was 2010. My heart surgery was 2012 because they thought I needed a transplant. God changed my heart. Months later she and they walked out of my life while I laid in bed recovering from that. Your words, excruciating separation, the pain only bearable through Jesus Christ. Why? I still don’t know. One day I was a police chief the next jobless and trying to live to the next.

    Thank you for sharing your pain and faith. Helps me see clearer. Still don’t understand the pastors and the church (building). Not Gods church. Sorry I have written so much today. 2 hours sleep in 2 days from the chemo. Thank you for showing me that a new day awaits. Jesus is all I really need. Still hurts. But many tears today and much healing. Thank you all for caring. I don’t know the rules here, but if interested I listen to a song called ColorBlind by Counting Crows. Everyone here helped me today by reaching inside and pulling me out. The song ends with “I am fine.” I would add with Jesus. Thank you all. If my words are disjointed, my brain has been damaged by the comas and the chemo. I am forever grateful for Gods love, mercy, tenderness, shown in so many ways in the midst of chaos, shown today through you and others here. I am wind blown.


  25. John,

    You say you don’t feel right suing a church. I would like to suggest that the organization of which you speak may not actually be a church. Jeff Crippen has a good article addressing the issue of false Christians:

    Perhaps some comfort can be found in the fact that the people who betrayed you were not actually Christians, or at least were not acting like Christians. As to whether or not you should sue, I think I need to be careful not to encourage you one way or another. Even though it appears the prohibition against suing fellow believers may not apply, there are other reasons to avoid litigation. The sheer stress involved is reason enough, although as a police officer you may tend to be hardened when it comes to stress inducing situations.

    Romans 12:19 comes to mind. “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”” (ESV). Well, that’s easy advice to dispense. Still, I can testify that in instances where I might have been tempted to pursue vengeance, and where I succeeded in not doing so, our Lord was faithful.


  26. Hi Y’All

    This SSB place is a great place to hang out…
    Thank you ALL for the many nice words. Youse guys ROCK….

    And, I’m asking for prayer for a friend of mine, Bobby. 3 weeks ago, Bobby, was diagnosed with inoperable cancer.
    His doctor says he has 6-12 months to live. They will give him chemo but if it works at all it will only add a year or two. Doctors give him NO hope at all. He is in a good place for a miracle. NO place to turn but to turn to Jesus.

    BUT now – He is very angry.

    The cancer came the first time in 2011 from a medication the doctor ordered for a skin disease back in 2007. That medication supposedly now has a warning on it “May cause cancer.” He overcame the cancer the first time and had a clean bill of health.

    I met Bobby 4 years ago at Barnes & Nobles, where I hang out, 5-7 days a week, and blog from. He was raised Jewish and his wife is Catholic. His wife, a retired school teacher, has Huntingtons Disease. They both would come often to Barnes & Nobles. And he had been her full time care giver. There is now a Home Health Aid who helps out.
    She just happens to be a believer and trusts in Jesus.

    He has asked for prayer in the past and we have prayed together. He is willing to talk about Jesus, but he’s NOT there yet. He’s NOT so sure about this “Eternal Life” being a gift, and No Hope for anything after this life. I gave him a Living Translation Bible a couple of years ago but he’s NOT into reading it.

    This is a tough one for me – Sure could use some back-up…

    However Jesus has you pray is fine with me…

    Liked by 1 person

  27. There are many Bible verses that have helped me…
    That I would like to go over with Bobby when he is ready…

    * Psalm 103:1
    Bless the LORD, O my soul;
    and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
    2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,
    3 Who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases,
    4 Who redeems your life from destruction,
    who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

    * Psalm 107:19
    Then they cry to the LORD in their trouble,
    and he saves them out of their distresses.
    20 He sent his word, and healed them,
    and delivered them from their destructions.
    21 Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness,
    and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

    * Psalm 147:1
    Praise the LORD: for it is good to sing praises
    to our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is beautiful.
    2 The LORD builds up Jerusalem:
    he gathers the outcasts of Israel.
    3 He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds.

    * Proverbs 4:20
    Attend to my words; incline your ear to my sayings.
    21 Do not let them depart from your eyes;
    keep them within your heart.
    22 For they are life to those that find them,
    and health to all their flesh.
    23 Keep your heart with all diligence;
    for out of it are the issues of life.

    * Proverbs 16:24
    Pleasant words are as a honeycomb,
    sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

    * Isaiah 53:5
    But he was wounded for our transgressions,
    he was bruised for our iniquities:
    the chastisement of our peace was upon him;
    and with his stripes we are healed.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Amos, I am intimately familiar with Huntington’s Disease and I am angry for Bobby. Caring for an HD patient is extremely difficult because it involves the person’s physical decline AND cognitive and psychiatric problems, her inability to perceive the impairments (not denial), and an almost total lack of broader support for the patient and his family.

    The Robert Woods Johnson foundation concluded that if one wanted to design a disease which would fall through the cracks of the medical and social services safety net, one could not do better than Huntington’s Disease. Friends fall away, family stays away preferring denial, the legal system treats the patient as a responsible adult thereby hindering the caregiver’s efforts to protect them, and the patient is denied all sorts of benefits one would expect them to easily qualify for.

    Bobby has made extraordinary sacrifices to care for his wife and now he too is terminally ill and likely to die before his wife. If ever there was proof of how unfair life can be, here it is. If Bobby is worried about what will happen to his wife after he is gone, he has good reason to be.


  29. Amos,

    This probably doesn’t help at the moment, but I am convinced that we need people like Bobby’ to help us better know Jesus. We attempt to introduce Jesus to Jews through the lens of a decidedly non-Jewish worldview. We need the Rabbis to introduce us to Jesus, a Jew, as He is seen through their eyes. Up to a point, they maybe don’t even need to be believing Rabbis.


  30. Marsha

    Yes – Huntington’s Disease is ruthless and horendous.
    Yes – “Bobby has made extraordinary sacrifices to care for his wife…”

    When you say, “I am intimately familiar with Huntington’s Disease.”
    My heart and prayers go out to you.

    I’ve seen and experienced quite a few healing miracles over the years…
    I’ve used to spend a lot of time in hospitals praying for and with folks…
    I’ve watched folks die and some confound the doctors and live…
    But never a healing for Huntington’s Disease…

    To watch a loved one deteriate… There are No words…


  31. Barnabasintraining

    Thank you for praying.

    And, I always appreciate your comments. 😉

    “it is God’s creation and into which He only speaks the words: Trust Me.”

    Many times when I have questioned Jesus, complained to Jesus… Why???

    All I heard was – “Trust Me.”

    And, Like you, I will continue to proclaim…
    “I also know that He is worth the pain of it.”


  32. Then Barnabasintraining, and Amos, and who-so-ever, answered him,
    Lord, Jesus, to whom shall WE, Your Sheep, Your Ekklesia, go?
    thou hast the words of eternal life.
    John 6:68


  33. Lydia

    Thank you for praying.

    And continually fighting for…
    “This Battle for the Kingdom of His dear Son.” Col 1:13.

    I appreciate your tenacity. 🙂


  34. Gail

    Thank you for praying.

    And like you…
    “I have had many dark nights of the soul. It is a tough region to navigate.”

    Seemingly Paralyzed with doubts, and shame, and fears… All I could do or navigate was… One day at a time… One hour at a time… One minute at a time…

    One NOW at a time…

    Isa 43:19
    Behold, I will do a new thing; “NOW” it shall spring forth;
    shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness,
    and rivers in the desert.

    Sometimes when I complained, Jesus would ask…
    How are you doing NOW?

    In the darkness of my mind…
    I was spending much time in the past – Angry – Depressed…
    Re-living, re-hashing, the horror stories, the lies, the pain.

    I was spending much time in the future – Fearing – Anxious…
    Thinking about, afraid of, what “could” happen.

    What if “NOW” is NOT a time word? Hour, second, these are time words.
    But – “NOW” is where God is NOW – And I was missing God – NOW.
    And, “In His Presence is fullness of Joy” and His Presence is only “NOW.”

    Lord, Help, the insurance, the rent, whatever, is due in two weeks.
    And sometimes I would hear – “How are you doing NOW?”
    Well, NOW, today, I’m okay, but, but…

    Lord, Help, they lied about me in court, shamed me, I want to make it right.
    And sometimes I would hear – “How are you doing NOW?”
    Well, NOW, today, I’m okay, but, but…

    Learned, forced myself, to ask myself – How nice is NOW?

    To understand how Jesus was providing for me – NOW.
    I would write down five “NiceNOWs” each day. And the focus changed, to looking for and remembering the “NiceNOWs.” After one week I had written down 35 “NiceNOWs.” After 10 weeks I had written down 350 “NiceNOWs.” And I had Hope. And a new focus.

    1 John 2:28 – And “NOW,” little children, abide in him…

    1 John 3:2 – Beloved, “NOW” are we the sons of God…

    1 Pet 2:10
    Which in **time past** were NOT a people,
    but are “NOW” the people of God:
    which had NOT obtained mercy,
    but “NOW” have obtained mercy.

    1 Pet 2:25
    For ye were as sheep going astray; but are “NOW” returned
    unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

    How nice is NOW?


  35. Amos, I got that the second time around that his wife may or may not be saved. I think it was the care giver that was the believer. After a very odd situation in my apartment building last night concerning my handicapped parking space–long story, I had so much on my mind as I went down for the night. I woke up within a couple of hours with a deep need to pray for many people including your friends. I am praying for you as well. Praying that Amos will have discernment and the right scripture at the right time so your friends will trust in Jesus and will meet you again at the end of the race.


  36. NOW is wonderful. Not easy to remember depending on the day. I have begun keeping a journal with me all of the time to remember those things that I should be thankful for today. What happens tomorrow, next week or next year doesn’t matter. He is taking care of the future. I have a clock by my bed that reads: Good morning, This is God, today I will be taking care of all of your problems. I read it each morning and other times through the day sometimes. I could do nothing without Him, He truly does take care of all of my problems and supplies my every need.


  37. Amos, thank you. I feel very blessed these days. My daughter has tested negative so neither she nor my beautiful grandsons will ever get this disease. I have married again, to the nicest, kindest, most loving man I have ever met. God has restored the years that the locust has eaten.

    I am continuing to pray for Bobby and his wife.


  38. Amos, that is a great idea about the NOW thing! I am going to do that. I feel more blessed and at peace already! 🙂


  39. I am Color Blind…

    I opened up from being closed in my skin since my wife left and losing my work comp case and all the stuff I already talked about. Fighting closing back up… I know God does not want me in hiding, but I don’t know why yet, overwhelmed…. Color Blind…

    Thank you Julie Anne for the song. Very affirming! I have found myself in a minority, God speaks to my heart through secular as well as Christian music. So so incredible not to be criticized for that and accepted. Thank you!

    Bouncing on the roller coaster of emotion after talking so much and reading comments. Hurt, betrayal, selfishness, wondering what really happened with my wife and those pastors, then peace and acceptance by Jesus and people here, then back to anger and fear and the incredible pain of not knowing the truth….unspeakable pain. The “holidays” and the negative “anniversaries”

    Gary W. thank you for the tremendous insight and reference. Have a feeling a lawsuit will not accomplish much other than give them more “ammunition” to further alienate my children. This is what bullies do. They try and make you think you are wrong or crazy along with those you care about. Must look at the big picture I guess and what is most important. Still waiting for my request to be honored to speak with the main pastor in person first. If he runs out of excuses. My resources are low, other than from God. 58 and what was terminal heart disease 4 years ago, a ruined career, now divorce and cancer. Seeking what God wants me to learn. I was never hardened, was told by several professors over the years took 10 years to get a Masters while working that I was too sensitive to be a cop, yet at the same time finding myself in incredible situations and highly decorated, all to the glory of God. How He gave me the abilities I had did not match my compassion for people, in other words it tore me up on the inside for 3 decades and only by the Grace of God I am still here. Not thinking clear from the chemo and talking too much. Bottled up for a long time. God reached an unreachable part of me through Julie Anne and Raymond. I’ve been different since. It’s happened so quickly after I reached a point of wondering why I am alive or even care. Point is, thank you very much for taking the time to show me another way to look at it. Appreciate your wisdom!

    Amos, praying for Bobby and you and anyone that the ” ripple ” touches through tragedy and your love for this man. Incredible.

    Baranabasintraining, I feel for you brother, praying for you, tears….. Healing yet so painful. Thank you for caring about me.


  40. Hi All – Thanks All

    A little up-date. Yesterday I was blogging from St Cathrines Hospital where Bobby was having a port installed for the chemo treatments. We were there for about 4 hours. Today we’re in Sloan Kettering Memorial Hospital on Long Island for his first round of chemo and a Cat Scan. The medical staff at both places have been excellent.

    Yesterday, back at his home, he asked about what I had been blogging about. It was a great lead in, and we talked some about “How Nice Is NOW?” And living “One Day At a Time.” “Give us this day our daily bread.” And, if the doctor says we have a limited number of days – How do we live those days? Used an example of when I was in the Navy. When practicing and preparing for the battle we had to close ALL the water tight doors. You have probably seen this in the movies as sailors were closing doors and spinning the wheels on the doors. If the ship was damaged in one compartment and took on water the water tight doors kept the water out of the compartment next to it. It was somewhat comforting to know it would take a lot of damage to sink the ship.

    WE, His Ekklesia, His Church, His Called Out Ones, can also live this way. When WE, His Sheep, are preparing for, or recovering from, the Battle, WE, can learn to live in “Day Tight Compartments.” Living only “One Day At a Time,” only “One NOW at a time,” takes only a little FAITH. WE, can believe for “One Day At a Time,” “One NOW at a time,” and focus on Jesus, focus on Joy, focus on having “A Merry Heart that Does Good Like A Medicine.” It’s the BIG picture that normally overwhelms us and floods our thoughts with painful, resentful, dark memories and fear of the future. But, living in a “Day Tight Compartment,” keeping out the flood of yesterdays, keeping out the flood of tomorrows, helps get some control over our thoughts and focus.

    F.A.I.T.H. – Forsaking All I Trust Him.

    {{{{{{ Jesus }}}}}}


  41. Hi Gary W

    You write…
    “This probably doesn’t help at the moment, but I am convinced that we need people like Bobby’ to help us better know Jesus. We attempt to introduce Jesus to Jews through the lens of a decidedly non-Jewish worldview. We need the Rabbis to introduce us to Jesus, a Jew, as He is seen through their eyes. Up to a point, they maybe don’t even need to be believing Rabbis.”

    Can you say this another way? Or add to it?

    I’m a little lost… 🙂 Thanks


  42. Amos, Thank you for the update. Prayer is being answered, already you had an opening to speak with your friend. I will continue praying for more openings for Jesus love to penetrate your friends heart and his wife’s.

    I was a Navy wife many years ago. Having been aboard the Kennedy, Puget Sound and a couple of subs, I’ve been shown how it all works up close and personal. What a visual!! Wouldn’t have thought of it myself, but never personally had to do any of that. Love your Acronym for faith.


  43. Amos,

    “To begin with, the Jews were entrusted with the oracles of God.” (Romans 3:2 ESV)

    Or, one might refer to Paul who became all things to all people that by all means he might save some. What I suggest Paul was talking about was entering their lives so that he could relate to them on a deep emotional and spiritual level. But first Paul was a Hebrew of Hebrews. Because Paul was deeply absorbed in Jewishness, he was able to relate to Jesus in all His Jewishness. Because Paul was no stranger to the Greco-Roman world, he could speak to the deep hearts of his Gentile audience. He was able to be the conduit by which Jesus, in all the depths and glories of his Jewishness, could be communicated to the deep hearts of a world that had theretofore been excluded from the mysteries of God.

    Even today, I dare say, a person who is immersed in all that is Jewish has an advantage when it comes to identifying with, when it comes to knowing, Jesus. And the better one knows Jesus, the better one can communicate Jesus. To me. To you. To all.


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