* * *
This blog post is going to require some active participation. The other day, some blogger friends and I were e-mailing back and forth on the topic of Patriarchy. I jokingly said I wondered if there was a Patriarchal version of the Bible that we weren’t aware of. It must exist – – well, we know it does exist in at least some people’s minds.
So, as I was writing this blog article, I reached out to some other friends who shall remain nameless (for obvious reasons) to discuss this article. We were mulling over that Patriarchal Bible translation, trying to come up with the perfect translation title. My idea was Men’s Patriarchal Version (MPV) and my friends came up with some others, too. I thought it would be cool to vote on the best sounding Patriarchal translation so that from here on out, whenever we quote certain self-proclaimed Patriarchs, we can be sure to identify that they use their own Patriarchal Bible translation.
Would you mind helping us out by voting for the best sounding Patriarchal Bible translation name? This is all in good fun. I want you to know that in some Patriarchal families, the men don’t allow their wives to vote (true story). But here, ladies, you get to vote. Your vote counts and I’ll even let you vote for your kids, too, and any future kids you might have (being sympathetic to any full-quiver mamas in the audience, see-ins how I am a quasi full-quiver mama if you bend some rules here and there).
* * *
Spiritual abusers often twist scripture to abuse. So, A Cry for Justice, The Wartburg Watch, and I Will Stand, all which deal with abusive in churches, are participating in this “syncrhoblog” in an effort to bring light to spiritual abuse and Patriarchy.
Jeff Crippen from A Cry for Justice blog wrote up a great description for us:
* * *
The term “patriarch” is a valid, historic word with a simple, non-philosophical meaning. A patriarch is a “first father” and it refers to the “fathers” or founders of some movement, institution, or political entity. George Washington was a “founding father” of the U.S.A. and thus, a patriarch. In this sense, “patriarch” can be a broad term that theoretically could include a woman who was one of the founders of something.
But when we use the word “patriarch” and add various suffixes to it, the thing morphs into something else entirely. Patriarchal, patriarchy, patriarchalism, and so on. These words describe a society of some kind (a family, a nation, a local church, etc) in which father not only knows best, but is best. And, more properly, where men are best. in contrast to women. Patriarchy in a family, for instance, exalts the husband to a innately (by virtue of being male) superior status above his wife (by virtue of her being female). In a patriarchal society then, men are seen as entitled to power and control over women. It is the man, the husband, the father whose mission in life truly matters to God, and therefore the woman, the wife, the mother, the children exist to further that mission. Their personhood, in other words, does not exist independently, nor even symbiotically, but rather as an “attachment” to the main program.
This is all in contrast to the biblical teaching that both men and women are created in the image of God. Neither is it an accurate application of the scripture’s doctrine of a husband being the head of his wife which, in contrast, emphasizes that headship as working itself out in loving, sacrificial service apart from a lording it over. Patriarchy denies the reality of the Apostle Paul’s words:
Gal 3:28-29 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (29) And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.
This text is distorted frequently of course. There ARE differences between men and women! But Paul reminds us here that there is no “—archy” of any kind in Christ. There is no “power over.” In fact, other scriptures tell us that the “archy-ites” (the ones who are first now) will be last in the kingdom. Men and women, husbands and wives, parents and children, all who are truly in Christ are full heirs of every blessing in the heavenly places, and in the new creation which is on its way. ~Jeff Crippen
* * *
I’d like to give you a few glimpses of how certain Patriarchal men think about their roles, showing the diminished role of their wives in a Patriarchal home. I don’t know if anyone has bothered to ask wives what they think of these rules. Maybe the wives’ opinion don’t matter. Below is an excerpt from an article written by Doug Wilson who endorses Patriarchy. The article is entitled, “Not Where She Should Be.” (:::::JA momentarily shivered typing those words:::::)
* * *
The first time the dishes are not done, he must sit down with his wife immediately, and gently remind her that this is something which has to be done. At no time may he lose his temper, badger her, call her names, etc. He must constantly remember and confess that she is not the problem, he is. By bringing this gently to her attention, he is not to be primarily pointing to her need to repent; rather, he is exhibiting the fruit of his repentance.
He does this, without rancour and without an accusative spirit, until she complies or rebels. If she complies, he must move up one step, now requiring that another of her duties be done. If she rebels, he must call the elders of the church and ask them for a pastoral visit. When the government of the home has failed to such an extent, and a godly and consistent attempt by the husband to restore the situation has broken down, then the involvement of the elders is fully appropriate.
(Doug Wilson, Not Where She Should Be)
* * *
Patriarchy extends beyond the marriage and into the whole family. Even younger brothers are elevated and their sisters (including older sisters) are taught to revere them, setting the framework for the young boys’ minds and what they should expect for the next patriarchal generation in which they will rule.
The Botkin sisters, Anna Sophia and Elizabeth are daughters in a very public Patriarchal family. They are single, still under their father’s roof, and are 30 and 28 years old. They spoke at a father/daughter retreat in 2007. Their father raised them to be a showcase for Patriarchy, they have their own blog, speak at conferences/retreats, and write books on how they serve their father/men. The retreat reportedly came at a cost of nearly $500 per father/daughter. On stage, the sisters taught about the role of daughters in a family:
* * *
They should teach their younger sisters in the Titus 2 spirit and should honor and defer to their brothers—older and younger—in recognition that even young boys need to be treated as wise leaders by their older sisters in order to gain the confidence to be leaders of their future families. They should wear feminine clothes to prove to their fathers that they are virtuous women worthy of protection. They should not learn career skills as emergency “backups” to support themselves, as “learning to ‘survive’ can teach girls attitudes of independence, hardness.” They should understand that singleness is a very rare calling from God, and so they must prepare to marry and conduct war on “the home front”: in other words, they must understand there is no opting out of this revolution without turning their backs on the faith. But most of all, the Botkins explain, a virtuous daughter should “turn her heart to her father” in the spirit of Malachi 4:6: “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” ( Kathryn Joyce from Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement.)
* * *
Ok, with Jeff’s defiscription (definition/description combined) above and the examples shown of Patriarchy within a marriage and a family, can you think of other verses a Patriarch might twist in order to elevate and/or abuse his self-appointed authority?
1 Peter 3:6 – like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
This verse could be twisted to insist that wives are to always call their husbands names like “lord, “sir,” which elevate them to a position over them.
Please be sure to visit the other blogs/groups: The Wartburg Watch, A Cry for Justice and I Will Stand, and join in the conversation. It will be great to compile a long list of twisted verses.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Special thanks to Tori of Designs by Tori who graciously allowed us to use her compelling “Smash Patriarchy” design for these articles. Please check out Tori’s t-shirts, car magnets, buttons, etc.
Spiritual Sounding Board 
Well, well. Poor Wilson – another sad case of SPS (small ‘parts’ syndrome). You gotta feel real sorry for these guys; they’re just trying to find their way around the world with real men, and women who pity them . . and as for the Botkin sisters. . .no words, just a shake of the head. When I read things like this, I’ve got to say to myself, “. . . and they walk among us”. . . sheesh!
LikeLike
Verses patriarchalists twist: They begin early, with Genesis 3:16b, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (ESV). Though doubtless claiming to be complementarian as opposed to patriarchalist, the author of the ESV (English Standard Version) commentary gives this verse a patriarchalist twist. Right there on the same page as the Biblical text the publisher (Crossway) has the commentator speaking of 1) “The leadership role of the husband and the complementary relationship between husband and wife that were ordained by God before the fall,” 2) Eve’s supposed “sinful ‘desire’ to oppose Adam and to assert leadership over him, reversing God’s plan for Adam’s leadership in marriage,3) Adam’s “God-given, pre-fall role of leading,” and 4) “the sinful behavior of both [Adam and Eve] in rebellion against their respective God-given roles and responsibilities in marriage.”
Crossway’s online Bible now comes complete with free access to John Piper’s sermons. Crossway was recently appealing for contributions to help them overcome some flood damage. Of course, Piper is famous for seeing the hand of God in natural disasters. Hmm? O.K. That was off topic. But thanks for letting me say it.
LikeLike
Verses patriarchalists twist: 1 Tim 2:11-12, which is translated in a way so as to indicated women cannot teach or have authority over men. The translation is contested. I will go with NT Wright’s Kingdom New Testament translation: “They [women] must study undisturbed, in full submission to God. I’m not saying that women should teach men, or try to dictate to them; rather, that they should be left undisturbed.”
LikeLike
I voted for the MPV, though I smiled at the KMV. I was thinking of the 1 Peter 3:6 passage the other day while contemplating a post of yours. I was thinking that our opponents on this subject would quote that verse, as if to say, See, you all are wrong, and women need to “submit” to their husbands — a loaded word that usually comes with all kinds of scary, ungodly baggage.
In Scot McKnight’s book, The Blue Parakeet: Rethinking How You Read the Bible, he reminds us that God spoke to Abraham in Abraham’s day, to David in David’s day, to Jesus in Jesus’ day, to Paul in Paul’s day — all in the context of their various cultures and particular mannerisms and customs. If the Bible were being written today, or at least some part of it from the context of our Western culture, it would be a different animal altogether. The same could be said of any other culture in any other time period.
This doesn’t mean that the overall message of God’s story would be altogether different; He would still bring all of history to one final point in Christ. But the little nuances of our particular stories would vary indeed. To think that God would have twenty-first century people live exactly like the manners and customs of first-century people, or people in Abraham’s century and culture, is one of the most ridiculous notions, in my opinion. We still pursue Christlikeness in our day — in every age, but not in the manners and customs of centuries ago.
LikeLike
Carmen – You are funny. SMS and “. . . and they walk among us”. Really, funny. I think if I took a trip to visit you and the coast in Eastern Canada, I’d be laughing more than looking at the beautiful country.
LikeLike
Galatians 3:28 is twisted, ironically: “There is no longer . . . male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” Because this can’t mean what it prima facie appears to mean; it must mean something else — anything else — and patriarchy must scramble for an alternate contextual meaning.
LikeLike
Over at the article July 25 article on Complementarianism, Egalitarianism, or Mystery Janna Chan (7/29 @ 4:45 AM) notes the connection between Old Testament patriarchy and polygamy. She also observes the distinction between what is instructional and what is narrative. The distinction simply must be maintained. Otherwise, why shouldn’t polygamy be practiced today? Yes, I’m aware of instructions that overseers must be the husbands of one wife, but that’s just overseers, and the text doesn’t say ONLY one wife.
I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t be giving anybody ideas.
LikeLike
Oh look how they are doing it at A Cry for Justice blog. I like doing it this way better than just quoting the verse (and it’s making my blood boil, too – lol):
LikeLike
Julie Anne, .. two redheads with ‘attitude’ . .. dunno. .. (I prefer to call it passion!)
LikeLike
Gary W. – -Remember, they’ve already got their Patriarchal Bible telling them how to behave. They all read the same translation just like all spiritual abusers went to the same Creepy Spiritual Abuse School (CSAS). They all behave alike. That’s the only justification possible for them all using the same patterns.
LikeLike
Gary’s comment above at 6:06 – I don’t know about anyone else, but one husband is plenty for me. . . .you sure aren’t giving me any ideas.. . and I know FOR A FACT my husband couldn’t handle any more than me. . .
LikeLike
Great post, Julie Anne. Gary W, I am always mystified at the Gen. 3:16 passage being used as a prescription for marriage when in the context God is listing it as the natural consequence of the fall. Seems we should be aiming a bit higher than that.
But what strikes fear in my heart is that wherever we see this attitude in groups, women and children are the ones who suffer. The same attitudes and beliefs prevail in any fundamentalist religious organization including groups like Warren Jeffs’ FLDS and extreme Muslim groups. I found this blogsite because of the post on partners of pedophiles and in looking over the long SGM legal briefs, I see this same misogynistic view of women carried out in the extreme against children. If women are considered second-class or a man’s property, then kids are as well. If women can be abused, then the kids can as well. If women are nothing more than sexual servants, then kids can be as well.
This “theological” view is not benign, in my view. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
LikeLike
Brenda – It’s so good to have you here. When you are drinking the Kool-Aid, everything is colored by that artificial dye. I remember being at my former church and hearing the pastor say to a husband, “you need to get your wife in order.” That kind of thought became my norm as it was in other homeschooling circles. So, when I started blogging about these topics and men like Gary W. and William were upset about that kind of teaching, I had to take a second look. Yes, it was a dark-colored Kool-Aid.
In some circles, you will see women obey not only their husbands, but all men in general. I’m just trying to imagine my 18-yr old daughter (who is over 6 feet tall) obeying her 7-yr old brother. Nope – it wouldn’t work around here.
LikeLike
Another suggestion for naming the Patriarchs’ “translation” of the Bible: “The Male Sociopath’s Guide to the Ownership of Women and Children”
LikeLike
Gary W.,
LOL! . . . and, please, make it a study Bible!!!!!!!!!!!!! And make the dedicatory to the likes of Piper, Driscoll, Mohler, Dever, Burke and everyone still in the SGM.
P.S. Men rule!
LikeLike
Verses patriarchalists twist: Eph 5:22, supposedly commanding wives to submit to their husbands. No time to elaborate, but no word for “submit” appears in the Greek text of this verse. The “translators” appear to be reaching back into verse 21, taking a declarative statement regarding mutual submitting, and turning it into an imperative directed at only the wife.
There’s hardly a need for a whole new translation for patriarchs. It would largely just parrot the ESV.
LikeLike
“In some circles, you will see women obey not only their husbands, but all men in general. I’m just trying to imagine my 18-yr old daughter (who is over 6 feet tall) obeying her 7-yr old brother.”
The irony here, for me at least (and this has been mentioned before), is that a mother — a woman — spends the most amount of time with her son — a male — while he is growing up. This includes teaching him spiritual matters: even when he is growing up, well past his teens — *she* is still teaching *him* spiritual lessons. So, a woman is teaching a man. This reality has to be utterly ignored by patriarchs, like sticking one’s fingers into one’s ears and yelling, “a-La la la la la, a-la la la la la.”
LikeLike
I have a name for this bible version, but it’s not suitable for publishing here…
LikeLike
Or how about “The Psychopath’s Guide to the Domination of Women, the Subjugation of Their Minor Children, and the Maintenance of Psychologically Oedipal Relationships with Their Adult Daughters”?
LikeLike
G.W.,
Just tack on “Study Bible” and I’m on board!
LikeLike
William Birch said: “The irony here, for me at least (and this has been mentioned before), is that a mother — a woman — spends the most amount of time with her son — a male — while he is growing up. This includes teaching him spiritual matters: even when he is growing up, well past his teens — *she* is still teaching *him* spiritual lessons. So, a woman is teaching a man. This reality has to be utterly ignored by patriarchs, like sticking one’s fingers into one’s ears and yelling, “a-La la la la la, a-la la la la la.””
Hmm, could a woman under patriarchy then take scripture and do a little twisting herself that would have the man crying uncle? I think that could work…
LikeLike
Shannon,
Ha! I do believe she could . . .
Even women held in bondage under patriarchy “teach” their men spiritual lessons, though, undoubtedly, without the patriarch’s knowledge. It’s unavoidable — that is, if one is in a healthy marriage, where a woman is actually allowed to even speak.
LikeLike
W.B.,
“Just tack on “Study Bible.’ ” Consider it done.
The other question I have has to do with the propriety of including the word “Psychologically” in the title. I’ve heard it said that emotionally adulterous relationships, as in the ongoing exchange of intimately personal information between a married man and a women to whom he is not married, will ultimately and inevitably lead to physical intimacy. Why should it not be a problem as between even a father and his adult daughter? Hope I’m wrong on this one.
LikeLike
Fair question, I think!
LikeLike
May I put forward for consideration, as a sort of “write-in candidate,” The Creation Order Desktop Bible(TM)? We could market it under the acronym “COD Piece” Bible.
LikeLike
Oh, that’s good, SMG. I wonder if there is a way to add more to the poll once it’s already started? If someone wanted to change their vote, they could always vote 2 for their new choice which will cancel out their old one.
I don’t think any elections office would want my services, eh?
Follow-up: Ok, I tried editing it, but there’s no way to keep the current votes. Bummer.
LikeLike
Again, drop the word “Patriarchy” and call it what it is:
MALE SUPREMACIST!
(AKA “ME MAN! YOU WOMAN! DO AS I SAY OR I BEAT YOU!”)
LikeLike
Even in an unhealthy male-supremacist marriage, there’s a way for the woman to not only “teach” her lord-and-master, but control him. She just has to be sneaky, underhanded, manipulative, and covert-aggressive. (None of which makes for a healthy relationship in general.)
I wonder how many of these “WOMAN! DO AS I SAY OR I BEAT YOU!” Patriarch types are actually being P-whipped behind the scenes and taking it out on all other women than She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed-Behind-Closed-Doors.
LikeLike
Headless,
Yes, you’re right, and that reminds me of a couple lines from the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” — when the daughter, Toula, wanted to go to college, but needed the father’s permission. She said to her mother, “Ah, the man is the head of the house,” and what he says goes. To which the mother replied, “Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.” That’s just good theology (I call it reality) right there!
LikeLike
I have heard of some factions in Extreme Islam (probably originating in tribal societies) where boys are expected to beat up and abuse their own mothers upon coming-of-age. (After all, she’s just a woman…) So a 7-year-old boy abusing his 18-year-old sister because he’s male and she’s female is not much of a stretch. Some extreme faction has probably already taught/demanded it.
LikeLike
My 7-yr old might think it’s abusive the way his big sister came home from camp, tackled him to the ground and plastered him with kisses. Thankfully, that’s the only abuse we’re dealing with in this house.
LikeLike
Might be ridiculous, but it’s a pretty widespread notion. So many of these little splinter churches (as well as larger groups like Landmark Baptists, Puritans, Seventh-Day Adventists, Amish, and Mormons) began as “Restoring the Original New Testament Church.” Islam has its equivalent, the “Salafi”, trying to purify Islam to the Pure Islam As It Was In The Days Of The Prophet — the Taliban were the lunatic fringe of this movement, trying to force reality into a Perpetual Year One of the Hegira.
LikeLike
Ok, I was able to edit the poll with the new additions. So, again, if you’d like to change your vote, you are on your honor. Just vote 2 times on your new selection and that should cancel out your original vote (unless you voted more than once on your original translation and then you’ll have to do your own math).
LikeLike
Julie Anne Smith, Local Ward Heeler
😉
LikeLike
Pretty funny JA!!
I had a hard time choosing. As much as I liked number 1, it might end up not be the cash cow they would like…beings some are offended by the un PCness of the word patriarch (except Russell Moore….he really, really likes it).
I voted for number 2 – because from Genesis to Revelation, everyone knows the bible is all about women and their need to be instructed in the fine art of submission.
(Undoubtedly, this version will need be revised yearly (or more frequently) as the translators gain more understanding via Grudem and Piper’s continuing revelations on masculine feel manly men Christians and the women that help-meet them.
LikeLike
I really don’t think the translations are enough. They should add a bonus Talmud. They could fill it with CBMW articles and the Danvers Statement. I like them all but think we should cut to the chase and just name it:
The Phallicentristic Bible.
LikeLike
If you were in my living room with me, Lydia, you would hear me laughing very loud. Off I go to add your contribution to the poll. LOL
LikeLike
“The Phallicentristic Bible.” Now I have to vote 2 more times. Once to undo my vote for my own suggestion, and once to cast my vote for this.
LikeLike
Maybe someone could check the spelling? :o)
LikeLike
Gary W. – – you are hurting my brain with all of that kind of math. I know, I need to change my vote, too. You’d think I could do it behind the scenes. I think I”m going to grab a kid and make a homeschool story problem out of it.
LikeLike
I’m blind, Lydia – what spelling? I can’t see that your submission (hahahahahahaha:)) has posted yet. Do you see it? Sometimes this techno stuff drives me crazy.
LikeLike
Re: JA “you are hurting my brain” @ 3:52. Actually, I think I would have to vote for every entry except my own one time. That would even everything up. Then I would have to vote for “The Phallicentristic Bible” one more time so that it’s up net one. Then it would be necessary to compensate for the points off for my having ended the sentence before last with a preposition. No. I just don’t think I can do this.
LikeLike
Hey, you folks straighten up and quit having fun! Don’t make me sling some Bible verses at you all!
LikeLike
Gary W. LOL – – I think I just changed the spelling of that word. I don’t know if that is going to mess you up.
And for some reason Word Press will not allow me to see that entry (“entry” is a better word than using the submission word, right?) even though I can see it from behind the scenes. So I can’t even vote. So, why don’t you vote an extra one for me on that Phallocentric version, if you don’t mind.
LikeLike
We do need more of those, Eric. You’ve been far too quiet.
LikeLike
BTW, I hope you noticed that there is an image of a man’s head in the background of the poll. That was intentional. I could have picked a boring poll with plain background, but that wouldn’t do for this poll.
LikeLike
“For in serving the sandwich and fetching the paper her glory is found.” From the lost chapter 32 of Proverbs, found on a scroll in a half-filled jar of moonshine, rural, TN…
LikeLike
I just changed my vote. Now “The Psychopath’s Guide. . . ” is up there, that takes the cake for me. It says it all; right down to the emotionally incestuous father-daughter model taught by Vision Forum et al.
LikeLike
“For in serving the sandwich and fetching the paper her glory is found.” From the lost chapter 32 of Proverbs, found on a scroll in a half-filled jar of moonshine, rural, TN…”
LOL!
LikeLike
Hey my vote showed up! 6% of us prefer the Phallicentristic Bible translation. Hee Hee.
JA, It is a pain being the administrator because stuff doesn’t always show up unless you totally click out and then relog on. There were days I had to leave the room to get stuff I posted to show up!
LikeLike
Mentioning the man’s head on THIS poll reminded me of…..
LikeLike
Julie Anne,
I originally voted for the Men’s Patriarchy Version but I like the Male Supremacist Version better! I also like the Psychopath version but I’m not sure they’d go for that since it has the word Psycho in it and that is too much like psychology and, well, you know how they feel about that. Not that feelings matter what with emotions being bad and all. Unless it’s only women’s emotions that are bad, I’m not sure about that. But I digress. The phallocentric Bible is great too. I might have to toss a coin over this….
LikeLike
Barnabas – Feel free to change your vote 🙂 It will be open for a week.
LikeLike
“When the hair is enlarged and the mascara is thick, riches flow at her pleadings; her husband smiles in his pride.” – Lost Book of Arnoldclasticus, Found on the back of a pledge sheet behind TBN headquarters…
LikeLike
” I alloweth not a woman to ask questions, save for one: mayonnaise or mustard?”
Epistle to the Visionforumonians…
LikeLike
I was thinkin’: “I alloweth not a woman to ask questions, save for one: White or wheat?”
LikeLike
JA @ 4:17 PM: “So, why don’t you vote an extra one for me on that Phallocentric version, if you don’t mind.”
Done
LikeLike
Thanks, Gary.
LikeLike
I was dying laughing over the COD piece bible. LOLLLLLLL 🙂
but the part that made me freak out was the excerpt about disciplining the wife when the dishes aren’t done… I really can’t believe that man wrote those paragraphs in all seriousness without a shred of shame???
And now I’m thinking about not doing the dishes tonight. Just because.
LikeLike
Katy – take a picture of those unfinished dishes and let’s tweet it to Doug Wilson. I have his Twitter handle ready for you 🙂
LikeLike
I agree with Katy! SMG’s COD piece was the best. I also laughed pretty hard on that one!
LikeLike
That was good. I just got a late entry on Twitter: Patriarchs’ New English Standard – PNES
🙂
LikeLike
The first time the dishes are not done, he must sit down with his wife immediately, and gently remind her that this is something which has to be done. At no time may he lose his temper, badger her, call her names, etc. He must constantly remember and confess that she is not the problem, he is. By bringing this gently to her attention, he is not to be primarily pointing to her need to repent; rather, he is exhibiting the fruit of his repentance.
He does this, without rancour and without an accusative spirit, until she complies or rebels. If she complies, he must move up one step, now requiring that another of her duties be done. If she rebels, he must call the elders of the church and ask them for a pastoral visit. When the government of the home has failed to such an extent, and a godly and consistent attempt by the husband to restore the situation has broken down, then the involvement of the elders is fully appropriate.
I can feel my blood pressure rise along with many others here on this. I read it and it begins again. First, if not doing the dishes caused the elders to visit, they would just have to move in to save themselves many visits. They could help with the housework while they are here.
This shows that men of Doug’s caliber don’t get it. They treat women as children and they are the father, they criticize and call it leading while not lifting a finger to help. They think that all we have to do is dishes and housework(which is just a part of what we do). I would love for Doug to receive a bunch of dish towels and rags. I would pay extra postage for that. 🙂
LikeLike
So Doug, I guess you could say I am rebelling. 🙂
LikeLike
I’m late to the conversation but…
Since voting will be opened for a week, has anyone considered the wedding gift set versions published by Hebossway? The PCCP (penetrates, conquers, colonizes, plants) nightstand version for men is offered with the RAS (receives, accepts, surrenders) version for the female. For a short time only, the RAS is complimentary. The Hebossway website (not to be confused with Crossway) advises, “Order soon, they go fast!”
LikeLike
“If she rebels, he must call the elders of the church and ask them for a pastoral visit.”
ok i’m still laughing over here. we get a “pastoral visit from the elders” if we rebel and don’t get the dishes done every night ?
It’s like sharia/taliban/whatever teaching, remember that video years ago of a muslim imam sharing the right way to beat your wife if she is not performing up to standard? I think he demonstrated the correct size of the whipping stick, so as not to put the wife in the hospital but just “correct” her the first time.
These guys are all from the same mold!! it would be hilarious if it didn’t enslave women in such misery 😦
LikeLike
To “A Mom” – OK, I’m sitting here laughing out loud when I should be doing dishes. . . . .
LikeLike
“Julie Anne on July 29, 2013 at 8:34 PM
That was good. I just got a late entry on Twitter: Patriarchs’ New English Standard – PNES”
LOL !!
LikeLike
This needs to happen…
LikeLike
Uh, I’m a little reluctant to even mention this, and I need to be sensitive, but I think you may wish to change the acronym for the proposed Patriarchs’ New English Standard version. Maybe nobody would notice except for my bringing it up now, and I apologize if that’s the case, but if you try to say the presently-assigned acronym out loud, as its own word, it sounds like the male . . . Well, you know. It could just sort of comes across as being embarrassingly immodest.
LikeLike
I’m single and I don’t have a husband to remind me to do the dishes. Should my pastor be telling me? Only right now I don’t have a pastor as I don’t have a church. Oh my oh my! Who’s gonna tell me to do my dishes and when I should? Oh the thought of day-old dirty dishes! Horrors! The bacteria ever growing!
LikeLike
Shannon,
Oh my! You better get under the headship and authority of some man quickly! Your pastor, your boss, your garbage man — some man! If you want, I’ll be your head on-line. Email me. 😀
LikeLike
Wait . . . that didn’t sound just right . . . lol . . .
LikeLike
.
The PEST Version
Patriarchal Esential Superiority Translation
LikeLike
C’mon William – ‘fess up! You KNEW what you were saying to Shannon. . . ha, ha! What a fun post!
LikeLike
Of course I did — I’m a MAN.
It really has been a fun post, in spite of the serious nature underlying it. And I couldn’t help but notice the absence of a certain authoritarian, which I was just sure would be all over this. Unless, of course, he’s in the dog house. Whatever the reason, it has been nice just to joke around about it.
LikeLike
Gary W July 30, 2013 @ 8:03 AM
LOL, cracking up here, ha ha Gary, your insight on PNES is a riot!
LikeLike
Gary W said:
Gary – It wasn’t until I had 3 sips of my wine last night that I noticed the same thing. You might want to take it up with R. L. Stollar:
LikeLike
William said to Shannon:
Maybe I can help facilitate something here for single women. I can put up a chart with umbrellas on a designated “”Headship” page on the b;og. Ok, so we’ll name the first umbrella William and beneath that umbrella, I’ll put Shannon. Now, William, are you willing to “head up” more single ladies?
Wait a minute, William – are you single or married? Can someone look up in their PNES or MPV or TPB how this works?
LikeLike
William said: “Wait . . . that didn’t sound just right . . . lol . . .”
If you want me to change it, William, I will, but anyone following the conversation knows that you had pure and honorable intentions of protecting Shannon.
LikeLike
Very extended dog house, indeed.
LikeLike
JA,
LOL . . . 😀 too, way too funny!!!
LikeLike
Added 2 more to the poll: from Amos and this new one from Deb of Wartburg Watch blog: Woman Submit! Version (WSV)
LikeLike
All right, settle down kids! Too much jocularity before noon!
LikeLike
Eric, I’m glad you’re not the moderator. Sheesh.
LikeLike
JA, you say you’re glad Eric isn’t the moderator, but I’m fairly certain he was just kidding.
LikeLike
That was good. I just got a late entry on Twitter: Patriarchs’ New English Standard – PNES”
Order now and you get a bonus bottle of Schaap’s Shaft Polish to keep that leather cover slick and shiny!
LikeLike
You’re right, Gary, and so was I 🙂
Dry humor online is difficult to pull off.
LikeLike
I’m just trying to keep this establishment respectable!
“The internets are serious business!” – C.H. Spurgeon
LikeLike
Dry humor? Who’s trying to be funny? O.K., O.K., I’ll cut it out.
LikeLike
“Humor, like cakes, should be moist and fluffy.” – Millard Fillmore
LikeLike
Gary – I know. I’m so bad. Sometimes it gets me in trouble. Dry humor is hard enough to figure out in person and then with this medium, even more of a challenge.
LikeLike
Just added another poll entry from a reader at A Cry for Justice blog: Most Valuable Player Bible (MVP)
I love the double meanings in this one.
LikeLike
On my blog, I called it GRIME (Gender Role IMplementation Edition) Bible.
http://biblicalpersonhood.wordpress.com/2012/01/28/grime-the-ethiopian-eunuch-and-the-council-for-biblical-manhood-and-womanhood/
LikeLike
SO where do I sign up for my very own headship/leader? I am without one, alas, and fear that I may fall into immoral activities like reading trashy novels (those ones where the hero lays down his life for the heroine and then she actually gets to have an orgasm) – the horrors!!!
🙂 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
Bible of Supremacy & Submission (BOSS)
LikeLike
Authoritarian Supplemental Standard (ASS)
LikeLike
Well, it seems that there is a need for some internet “headship by proxy” around here. William Birch has already volunteered, and I will, too.
Interested parties should submit a sandwich sample (Hoagie rolls only, mustard, no lettuce, no poultry) to: Ward Cleaver Memorial Institute for Male Headship, Box 3, East Toadskin, TX 70154
Applicants should also include a resume and photos of housecleaning, laundry, and dishwashing skills. Politeness and use of honorifics a plus.
LikeLike
I’m sorry, Eric. As Blog Owner here, I need to initiate some oversight in this “headship by proxy” service. (I’m thinking that sentence alone will weed out the bad guys.)
I will form a committee of women to work up the policies. Any women who would like to volunteer, contact me: spiritualsb @ gmail.com
LikeLike