Father’s Day is always a difficult day for me. A friend posted this on her Facebook wall and it is appropriate for us who have been let down by our fathers (or mothers).
I’m so thankful for key men in my life who have acted like father to me when my fathers were incapable of handling that difficult job.
13 thoughts on “Knock Knock on Father’s Day”
I don’t care much for Father’s Day Julie Anne. If fathers were treated like mothers are on Mothers Day it would be tolerable but Father’s Day sermons are always for those who aren’t there. So I skip church. I’m always reminded of my failures as a father. Something I don’t need. I love Mother’s Day though.
Just as the video portrays an absent, disengaged father, so also too many preachers portray God as an absent, disengaged Father—except that He is portrayed as being intentionally so. Worse, too many preachers portray Him as an angry, vindictive god, consigning some to eternal conscious punishment for his good pleasure, while arbitrarily, for his own glory, saving others from such a fate. I believe these preachers are largely projecting or transferring their sinful judgments of their own admittedly imperfect fathers onto our infinitely, eternally, loving Heavenly Father.
I believe that this tendency to project/transfer explains why I myself have had to go through, and am going through, a process of forgiving my earthly father from my own sinful judgments, both founded and unfounded. I suggest that this is at least partly what Jesus was addressing when He said “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Mt. 5:8, ESV). If my own heart is unclean in this regard, I cannot see God for who He truly is. I tend to see and judge God as I see and judge my earthly father.
As I increasingly come to know and understand and see and relate to God, through Jesus, as the Father He truly is, I also come increasingly to see that He always has, and now does, and always will hold me in His loving arms. We are not orphans.
Gary – – That’s really sad. It makes sense why you’d skip church. I was really touched by your response to Selah yesterday and was thinking then, “wow, what a great dad.” So, from me to you, Gary – Happy Father’s Day! Thank you for being a dad not only to your own, but having a heart that wants to reach out to others when their parents have failed.
I agree with Gary about Father’s Day needing to be treated equally to Mother’s Day. This Mother’s Day, there were all sorts of blog posts about showing compassion to women who have lost or can’t have children. I’ve only seen one regarding the fathers who have lost children. This is a uniquely painful day for me, and many other men.
Happy Father’s Day to all the men. .
Eric, half my life ago in my early twenties my fiance lost our child in her first trimester. We never did marry. And not knowing the sex of the baby I’ve always tended to think of my heavenly child as a girl (with apologies to my boy if he’s a male, of course). I think of our her as a female probably because she represents the fruit of my love for her mother—and how I so truly loved her mother.
Fwiw, this day is not painful for me. . perhaps maybe because I never had the blessed experience of holding her against my chest or hearing her precious voice wish me a “Happy Father’s Day.” But she does even now bring happiness to my life as I believe she is capable of looking down on me from above. So as I live for the LORD, I also, in a very practical way, live before my daughter whose oversight (as I see it) encourages me to be a better man—and a better father, especially to the fatherless.
As I’m turning on the U. S. Open I’m hoping Phil Mickelson has a good Father’s Day and Birthday too today with a WIN.
What I appreciate here is the honesty and vulnerability some of you show here. I’ve always noticed that Mother’s Day got bigger fanfare, but I hadn’t tried to imagine what it would be like to be in dad’s shoes on Father’s Day. You guys are right. We need to do better about not only honoring dads, but also in acknowledging that dads even have feelings of pain, loss, etc. Isn’t that interesting – – it’s common to think of guys as unemotional and it really seems to be perpetuated on Father’s Day as well: let’s not acknowledge any feelings because guys aren’t supposed to feel. Blech on that.
Eric, I’m sorry to hear that this is a tough day for you as well.
Children generally tend to get their view of God from their fathers. If the father is distant, the child will likely view God as distant. If the father is abusive, the child will likely view God as abusive. If the father is controlling, the child will likely view God as controlling. If the father is loving and kind then the child is likely to view God as loving and kind. Fathers, we are to be a picture of Christ to our families. Though none of us will ever measure up, that is no excuse to be anything other than that. Some may disagree with me, but God did place the father at the head of the family and he is responsible for the spiritual well being and the teaching of his family. But he is never to be a dictator. Christ never was a dictator. Eph 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. (He gave up his life for her)
Men are given a “Great” responsibility and if men took that serious and did what was right in Gods eyes instead of what he felt was right in his eyes, Julie Anne would be posting about happier stuff instead of this. I am sure she would rather do that.
good word, Darrell, thanks!
Darrell – – If people understood the father/God connection and how powerful it is, I think they might behave differently. I look at Alex Grenier and me – how our stories parallel in having a childhood of physical abuse and we both have really struggled with issues of faith. It’s not easy. I know some faith that comes easily, but for me, the negative emotions sometimes interfere or overpower God’s truth. I have to be very proactive in counteracting those negative feelings with God’s truth. Thankfully, I have friends who I can call on to help me get over the hump – and actually, one time I even came here and asked for prayer. I know that I’m not alone because even scripture talks about praying for others when they are unable to pray. Thank you for mentioning this important role of fathers, Darrell.
Satan’s lie: God is just like my father. God’s Truth.. God is not like any man ever known. From “Lies Young Women Believe”
“God is not like any man ever known?”
What about the man Jesus who said, “He who has seen me has seen the Father” (John 14)? And from Colossians: “For in Jesus Christ all the fullness of the Godhead was pleased to dwell.”
I believe the answer to the lie that “God is just like my father” is to direct our gaze to the perfectly loving and just person of Jesus Christ who as God Himself is fully and perfectly man.
It is the God-Man Jesus Christ who is just like our heavenly Father.