About Julie Anne


In February of 2012, I began a blog sharing personal stories of my experience at an abusive church my family had left. I did this after discovering that the negative reviews I had posted about this church on Google Reviews had photo (2)been removed.

Within weeks after starting the blog, my former pastor and church (Chuck O’Neal and Beaverton Grace Bible Church) sued me and four other former members, including my adult daughter, for defamation. Their lawsuit asked for $500,000 in damages.

Since winning the lawsuit in July 26, 2012, I have continued to blog about spiritual abuse, how to recover from it, and note disturbing practices in churches/organizations, some of which can lead people to question their faith or even abandon their faith. Although now closed for commenting, the original blog can still be found here.

Many have asked if my whole story in one place. My story has been written as memories and experiences come to mind, so it is interspersed throughout the blog, but here is a blog post with a compilation of articles where you may find important parts of my story.

If you are interested in reading the details of the lawsuit and commentary, Brad Sargent compiled the whole story, related news articles, interviews, analysis of the case in the BGBC Archive.  It was a very large undertaking (over 300 hours of work) and I’m so appreciative of Brad’s work in this as he and I believe my story is representative of so many others.  We hope others can learn from our experience. Brad, too, is a spiritual abuse survivor and has been studying spiritual abuse systems for a few decades. He has a wealth of knowledge and I owe him the deepest gratitude.

Another part of my story is connected with the Homeschool Movement – the subculture within the fundamental Christian homeschool group which includes practices such as:  full-quiver, courtship, Patriarchy, stay-at-home daughters, modesty/purity teachings (the church/pastor who sued me also was connected with the Homeschool Movement).  As a long-time homeschooling mother (23+ yrs), I have seen how some of these practices have crossed the lines into dangerous practices which can lead to spiritual and emotional abuse.  My blog focuses on some of these issues, too.

If you have suffered spiritual abuse, my heart really goes out to you. The recovery process is deeply personal and heart wrenching.  After the media got hold of my story, I was inundated with e-mails and it took me several months to respond to all of them.  I discovered that many self-proclaimed atheists were also victims of spiritual abuse.  This breaks my heart, but also shows how damaging it really is. If you would like help along the way, feel free to hang out on the blog.  There are some amazing people here who understand and will encourage you. Feel free to jump in at any time on any blog post, regardless of the topic.  This place is for you!

~Julie Anne  (or JA)

E-mail:  Email:  SpiritualSB@gmail dot com


26 comments on “About Julie Anne

  1. Dear Julie Anne,

    Thank God for your and being a brave Deborah for The Faith, and for your website: http://spiritualsoundingboard.com/about/

    This is one of best articles and exposes on SGM and Devers…most of the comments are incredible too!


    Here is my response:


    The root system of Sovereign Grace Ministries is the shepherding movement. The root of Calvinism is Theocracy. Combine the two, you have a demonic alloy of two metals that are even stronger when these principalities are combined. My term for this spiritual extortion bondage and abuse of spiritual authority vs. liberty in Christ, is “Control Freak Christianity, or “Christian Communist Manifesto”, where just like the original Communist Manifesto, the individual is disposable it is the State that matters. This false balance is an abomination to the Lord and a Pharisee’s Dream that the Apostle Paul rightly eternally damned.

    James Sundquist


  2. In dealing with church abuse for years, you HAVE TO SUE, because that’s the only item they understand is WHEN YOU HIT THEM IN THE POCKET BOOK.

    Example: Group of boys were molested by pastor, instead of paying for counseling for the boys and helping the parents the foursquare movement ran them out (but they took the parents money for years). Worse, they sent the perpetrator to a foreign country to do the same (David). MANY FALSE CHURCHES ARE LIKE THIS. Know many a stupid christian parent, I can’t sue the church? Why not? It’s because they have you brainwashed and controlled and been laying nothing but guilt, condemnation, criticism on you for years and keeping you suppressed and in bondage under legalism and false doctrine. Took this public at the time (2000) it was told to me and note Hayford still in position and home office tells the pastor that confronted, “it was none of his business” (he wants NOTHING to do with the foursquare movement). So, is your tithe money, gifts, alms and offerings going to molest, rape, sodomize and murder children?…I can answer that.

    NAME NAMES. Have your facts right, not emotionalism. There has to be accountability and correction, judging righteous judgment, rebuke, reproof.

    One christian counselor asked me why the families didn’t sue the church=guilt, intimidation, false thinking and why they didn’t turn it in to the police department and file report? Also call major newspapers like Los Angeles Times, NY Times (go to reference department of your library and get all their emails and addresses of ALL media=I did). Told church leadership in 2004 if I heard anything and followed up regarding abuse and it was true it was going public because for years people have corrected the church and NOTHING DONE, SWEPT UNDER CARPET. Look at the book: “10 Lies The Church Tells Women” by J. Lee Grady and that evil movement is still in existance (christians chose to be brainwashed idiots that cannot, will not and chose NOT to think for themselves, been there, done that and NO MORE)!


  3. Note: Hayford was head of the movement/president or had some position and promoting Life Bible College and it was told to him like the majority of church leadership and Charisma at the time. Wanted a lot of head minions to resign and out (someone said one of the evil men in home office died in car accident =beheaded and the other got up to preach and dropped dead of a heart attack and some other items like to other men), Consider God took care of it.

    Very sad, but have taken this public for years and exposed and confronted, christians/pastors think they have a right to pray for people to die=ABSOLUTELY NOT, exposed that it makes them warlocks and witches.

    Example: Correcting molestation case in church and exposing some evil items in movement and told the false pastor not to pray for me to die or he would reap it or his family would (his son died shortly after beheaded in car accident=famous family). YOU CANNOT PRAY FOR PEOPLE TO DIE!


  4. sylphesylphe: irony, there is so much gossip in the church (instead of gossiping and sweeping under the carpet; take the dogma like Alex Grenier and Julie Anne public). That’s why make sure you dot your i’s, cross your t’s that you have the truth=facts and the names so they can’t sue you for libel, slander and deformation of character. Evil step=father to do what he did and hides behind religion.

    Remember this: especially people in the church. People who gossip, have no life, live their life through others and are very unhappy people majority of those in the church because they’re brainwashed and don’t take responsibility for their lives and or research a matter.

    Don’t think when we sin it can’t ALL GO PUBLIC. “SIN MAKES YOU STUPID”, there’s things in my life UNHEALED AND abusive matters didn’t take care of. When I left the false church, I got whole, healthy, healed and got myself into RIGHT/TRUE counseling. I can give you many a friend and Dr. Phil/Dr. Laura says the same, about the counseling out there can be very to the tune of very wrong and sick, adds to the problem especially the false church with it’s guilt/condemnation/criticism. Look at your church, is it healthy? Is your church building strong, healthy sheep/families?


  5. I am sorry you went through what you did but glad it did not destroy your faith. We have our own story, of course, not so grim as yours, but it certainly did a lot of damage to several of our children. And I was an elder in the church at the time. It is necessary to remember that we are called to forgive, and remembering the past just stirs up bitterness or anger for me, so I try not to let myself dwell on anything but look to the future. May you be a comfort to others and may God’s peace be with you.


  6. Dear Julie Ann,
    I am grateful to have found your sounding board, as I have been imprisoned by secrecy, and am finally finding my voice. I am divorcing a pedophile, after having been married 27 years. My husband, an actor, a celebrity, who used playing The Reverend Eric Camden on 7th Heaven for 11 years to engender trust in the parents of the children he used for his sexual gratification. 20 months ago, my husband confessed, ran away from our home, abandoned our daughter, and has not, to my knowledge, been treated for his sexual orientation to children. There have been complaints filed against him with both the NYPD, and LAPD, but none are under the age of 26. my husband is very clever, and has managed his victims (and their families) by using legal threats. He created a persona as a man of God to gain access to children.
    Our daughter has been moved to an undisclosed location. I am trying to get divorced as quickly as possible, and extricate myself from him. He has hired very expensive attorneys who are making my life hell. Thanks for letting me share.


  7. Faye – Your story is so painful to read. I can’t imagine living it. If you haven’t already, please read this article here: http://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2013/05/15/being-married-to-a-pedophile-a-wife-speaks-out-and-offers-hope-to-other-wives-of-pedophiles/

    There are ladies who have walked in your shoes and will likely respond to any comments you leave there. You don’t need to go through this alone. My heart goes out to you. Thanks so much for leaving a comment and sharing your story. ~Julie Anne


  8. Dear Faye,
    You have found a safe place to land and I strongly encourage you to ask Julie Anne to send you information about the private forum that SSB has created. It is a more secure area in which to share the similarities of our journeys.

    I am so sorry for the nightmare you are currently living in. I too was imprisoned by secrecy and the trauma of living with a pedophile. And it is a trauma and a betrayal of the deepest sort. I am glad that you are extricating yourself and understand the lengths to which some of these men go when divorcing. My divorce was a nightmare as well.

    I am also very glad that you relocated your daughter. You are so much stronger than you think you are and you are not alone. You can read more of my story on my blog: http://brendafindingelysium.blogspot.com/

    And you can email me directly if you want; my email address is on my blog.

    Keep coming back–you are so worth it.


  9. Dear Faye,
    I too was faced with a wealthy pedophile-ex-husband with millions of dollars of family money. I want to assure you that even though you are frightened, if you keep fighting, eventually things will go your way.

    Keep telling your story to the judge, the attorneys, to the press, to anyone who will listen. This is the fight of your life, but I promise if you keep telling the truth, you will win. He can try to intimidate people and accuse you all of libel and slander, but truth is the best defense.

    I was terrified every time I went to court. I was shaking all the way into the parking lot and up the elevator. I was sure that my ex- would be able to fool the judge. But judges aren’t stupid, and they see sociopaths every day.

    You need to take the lead in confidence and courage. The Judge will not rule against your ex if you roll over and give up. Even if you are frightened, put on a confident face (it’s called acting!!) and show up in court looking professional and non-emotional.

    ==> No judge wants to be the judge who let a pedophile back into society. <==

    See more of my story here: http://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2013/05/15/being-married-to-a-pedophile-a-wife-speaks-out-and-offers-hope-to-other-wives-of-pedophiles/

    –Anon 3


  10. Julie Anne,
    Found your blog today and love it. The post on whether or not Joni preached was exceptional! I actually watched the video of her last weekend and never thought about her being a woman and preaching. I know one thing: of all the videos I’ve watched of the conference hers is the best! It didn’t even dawn on me that I was watching a conference led by men who oppose women preaching. I guess I’ve become immune to blatant inconsistency (hypocristy?). Your blog is needed today more than ever. The church is fast becoming a meeting of the non-thinking, blind followers. Years ago I sold my dental practice and went to seminary. I lasted 2 years on the staff of a large church. I left so that I wouldn’t lose my faith nor my mind. Make no mistake about it: big church is about big money. It really is that simple. I’ve seen up close how the system works; even how the system handles sexual abuse in order to prevent damaging the brand and losing profits. People like you who think for themselves, ask sensible questions, and simply desire truth are finding no place in today’s church. Your blog will help those people know they aren’t losing their minds but are in fact using their minds. Keep up the good work. Steve


  11. Steve, thanks much for stopping by and for your kind words. I, too, appreciated Joni’s talk. The hypocrisy of some of these guys is very troubling.

    If you’d like to send me the story of your personal journey, I’d love to post it. I think you are right, many churches really are run like businesses. It’s very sad.


  12. Julie Anne, I was raised in a FGBC church that was into some culty, legalistic, and abusive practices. The pastor of my church is now in FGBC leadership (but it’s not a denomination ;). He taught Bible at the affiliated Christian school and generally just told us urban legends as if they were his own experiences. All children of elders were required to attend the school, so I was there 6 or 7 days a week. The abusive youth pastor does missions trips to Haiti now and generally does whatever will win him accolades from men. He spanked my little brother at church every week without my parents’ knowledge or permission. He demeaned us and insulted us students at every turn. I’m quite certain that he is a closet case. He took us to a sex paraphernalia shop in Philly on a missions trip. He enjoyed exposing us to all kinds of “worldly” material so that we would be prepared for life outside the bubble, but we were discouraged from having friends outside the church unless we were bringing them to Jesus. He also taught at the Christian school, and he forced us to do evangelism on a major Catholic campus for a grade. He accused me of sexual sin when I was 17, even though I’d never dated or kissed anyone.

    I went on to Grace College in Winona Lake, IN, where the FGBC is based. I met a man with a similar background and married him before graduation. He went to seminary, which was the final straw for us with fundamentalist evangelical culture. Then he went on to get a PhD and now teaches religion at a small college. I’m a happy momma of four and a Roman Catholic. The damage done to us emotionally and spiritually is still with us, especially after a visit with my in-laws who insult anyone who does not think and live in the same narrow belief system that they do. However, we are raising a joyful crew of children who are being brought up to love God and live joyfully.


  13. I am attending bbc&s and students have been posting some abusive things. one of them is a pastor if now two of them. The comments range from there is no such thing as a victim, PTSD isnt real and mental health problems are a sign of weakness and character flaws. one of the students has followed and harased every post in class i have made. the teacher has seemingly done nothing. I named them both and now I am being faced with expulsion. i know its not much but i never knew doing this could be so.. dangerous to say. none of them have apologized to me and i have been forced to issue one to them.. i find out the decision tomorrow and the posts have been deleted and mine remain as to I look like the bad person.


  14. Baggend

    Sorry to hear about what you’re going thru…
    Emphasis on – going thru…

    “I named them both and now I am being faced with expulsion. i know its not much but i never knew doing this could be so.. dangerous to say.”

    Yes – I had to learn this the hard way also…

    I’ve had many posts deleted from those who dis-agree…
    and sometimes they just delet some to look, as you say – the bad person.

    “posts have been deleted and mine remain as to I look like the bad person.”

    Praying for you and praying with you – that your faith fail NOT.

    Christian-dumb is often a bloody sport…

    It might LQQK bad now – BUT…

    WE, His Ekklesia, His Sheep, His Disciples…

    Walk by FAITH NOT by sight…

    F. A. I. T. H.



    P.S. You write… “I am attending bbc&s…”

    Can you tell me – What is – bbc&s

    And where are these “posts” that you talk about?


  15. everything was on the classroom discussion board. all of them have been deleted about the altercation both this one and the last. i have them copied just in case, and baptist bible college and seminary is bbc&s.. its evidently a mini bob jones


  16. Baggend

    Praise God, you’re now seeing what is going on there…
    “bbc&s.. its evidently a mini bob jones”

    Yes, the trials, the harassment, having to listen to – “there is no such thing as a victim, PTSD isnt real and mental health problems are a sign of weakness..”

    Is certainly uncomfortable for anyone to endure…

    BUT – Those statements are lies…

    Was wondering – Why have you commented here at SSB?


  17. Jamie O., If you are still on this blog, could you tell me more of your experience with Grace College? My step-daughter is considering going there, and I have very serious reservations.


  18. Dear Julie,

    I admire your kind hearted honestly and bravery. Since the story broke on Bill Gothard, I have been grieved for him and especially for all those effected by his deprived mind brought on by pride. His remaining life focus should be on repentance and restitution to those who he has harmed so deeply. He should devote all his time and funds to those he has hurt by praying and asking God how he can do that. Perhaps providing the families funding for counseling, free home school material of their choice, scholarships to college, and publicly confessing his sin and pride like a poor beggar seeking forgiveness and not like a spiritual giant in his own mind.. If he choses not to do this, sadly, his legacy will not be as a man of God but as a religious pedophile. I beleive in God’s grace and know that God can use him to heal the many he has hurt. His current endeavors are blatant indicators that he heart is stone as well as those that allowed him to get to this point. I am grieved and truly hope and pray that he will truly humble himeslf before the Lord so we can see the power of God is making beauty out of these ashes. Thanks again Julie. – Pastor Joe


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